Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below 
Forge
New member
First off, I would like to apologize to the EF members. I've made a few threads recently that were little truths about my life shrouded in lies and hypothetical situations. I have friends who read this board, and I didn't want them to know we were having problems, I guess I felt a little embarrassed (they are going to be shocked, sorry guys).
http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?t=331842
http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?t=333330
The truths of my marriage are:
- we both love each other very much
- we have been married for 5 years this September (together 7)
- there was never any cheating involved or even considered
- my wife works 80-90 hours a week on a farm, she's worked there most of her 41 year life
- we have not had sex in almost a month, previous to that we had a fantastic sex life
- no kids
When I met her 7 years ago, she only worked 70 hours a week. Over the years that has slowly been creeping up to the level it is at now (80-90). We fight very rarely, and when we do it is always about her hours. I just wanted to spend more time with her, do things together and such, but the farm always "needed" her. About two months ago we had a huge fight about her hours and priorities in life and the marriage, then a month later she changed overnight to become distant and slightly depressed. I assumed that she was just stressed from working so much, but I knew something was on her mind so I prodded now and then. Last night I got her to really talk. I told her that maybe she was just entering menopause, and she started laughing. Then she decided to tell me the truth.
Short version is that the farm and her job are more important to her than me and the marriage. She loves me with all her heart, but she doesn't want to work less to spend more time with me, or anyone for that matter, her work just means that much to her. She is the most important thing in my world, the farm is her world. She realized this during the large fight two months ago, but she had a hard time dealing with it, and she didn't know how to tell me without crushing me. She thinks I deserve better than that and better than her, she knows I won't be happy only seeing my wife for supper and bedtime for the rest of my life. She's right, if I can't live life with my wife than I'd rather be single.
At least that's what I thought, now that the reality is here I can't imagine living without her. She's become my world, and now that she is actually leaving I feel like I'm lost. I keep telling myself that maybe I could live with only seeing her for a few hours a week. But I know that it isn't what I want, it's not the kind of marriage I want. It just seems like such a waste to throw something like this away for a stupid job, I can't understand that but I know it's how she feels.
I've never been so in love as I am with her, she is my soulmate and I am hers. Unfortunately for her that just isn't enough to give up the farm. Five years ago she thought it was, but the more she pulled away from the farm the more she wanted to go back and pull away from me. She realizes it sounds ridiculous but it's what she wants, and it's been eating at her for a long time now, she just didn't know what to do about it.
I'm 32, the thought of being single again scares the hell out of me. I've become so comfortable with my wife that I don't even know if I can be with another woman. I skipped work today, just didn't feel like going anywhere. We are going to talk more tonight, for now she will live here with me in the house. Most likely she will start looking for an apartment. The thought of being in this house alone just makes me want to cry, I'm not sure I can live here without her.
God Damn this sucks, I feel like I've been sucker punched and kicked while I'm down. My life just fell completely apart in one night.
http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?t=331842
http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?t=333330
The truths of my marriage are:
- we both love each other very much
- we have been married for 5 years this September (together 7)
- there was never any cheating involved or even considered
- my wife works 80-90 hours a week on a farm, she's worked there most of her 41 year life
- we have not had sex in almost a month, previous to that we had a fantastic sex life
- no kids
When I met her 7 years ago, she only worked 70 hours a week. Over the years that has slowly been creeping up to the level it is at now (80-90). We fight very rarely, and when we do it is always about her hours. I just wanted to spend more time with her, do things together and such, but the farm always "needed" her. About two months ago we had a huge fight about her hours and priorities in life and the marriage, then a month later she changed overnight to become distant and slightly depressed. I assumed that she was just stressed from working so much, but I knew something was on her mind so I prodded now and then. Last night I got her to really talk. I told her that maybe she was just entering menopause, and she started laughing. Then she decided to tell me the truth.
Short version is that the farm and her job are more important to her than me and the marriage. She loves me with all her heart, but she doesn't want to work less to spend more time with me, or anyone for that matter, her work just means that much to her. She is the most important thing in my world, the farm is her world. She realized this during the large fight two months ago, but she had a hard time dealing with it, and she didn't know how to tell me without crushing me. She thinks I deserve better than that and better than her, she knows I won't be happy only seeing my wife for supper and bedtime for the rest of my life. She's right, if I can't live life with my wife than I'd rather be single.
At least that's what I thought, now that the reality is here I can't imagine living without her. She's become my world, and now that she is actually leaving I feel like I'm lost. I keep telling myself that maybe I could live with only seeing her for a few hours a week. But I know that it isn't what I want, it's not the kind of marriage I want. It just seems like such a waste to throw something like this away for a stupid job, I can't understand that but I know it's how she feels.
I've never been so in love as I am with her, she is my soulmate and I am hers. Unfortunately for her that just isn't enough to give up the farm. Five years ago she thought it was, but the more she pulled away from the farm the more she wanted to go back and pull away from me. She realizes it sounds ridiculous but it's what she wants, and it's been eating at her for a long time now, she just didn't know what to do about it.
I'm 32, the thought of being single again scares the hell out of me. I've become so comfortable with my wife that I don't even know if I can be with another woman. I skipped work today, just didn't feel like going anywhere. We are going to talk more tonight, for now she will live here with me in the house. Most likely she will start looking for an apartment. The thought of being in this house alone just makes me want to cry, I'm not sure I can live here without her.
God Damn this sucks, I feel like I've been sucker punched and kicked while I'm down. My life just fell completely apart in one night.
