You know ur lazy when........

[buddy28]

1) when surfing the net, you dont wanna open a new browser and type in "www.cnn.com" cause itll be too much effort

2) you keep a big 'ol glass jar beside your bed so you dont have to walk to the washroom in the middle of the night

3) you take a 5 minute cab ride to save you the 15 minute walk

4) you eat the same meal every night (rice and chicken) cause everything else takes too much preperation

5) you dont bother getting nappies to wipe ur spooge off, u just use ur clothes!!

6) u wear the same undies for a week because laundry costs too much, and who gives a damn anyhow!?

these of course, I found on the net. Anyone else got any funny ones?

 

[satanic goatslayer]

#9,637 - There is blood caked on your face, so you wipe the crusty residue off with your mailman's gutbag.

 

[DcupSheepNipples]

When........

You don't wipe your ass after a chili cook out and your woman is about to perform a Dirty Sanchez on you!

 

[buddy28]

thats good! I like it!

 

[buddy28]

7) you wear ur cum stained clothes out in public because u havent done laundry in a month

 

[Sassy69]

... you wear the Hawaiian shirt so you can call the food stains "part of the design"

... you get email at work, and just hit the "Forward" button and call it "designating the workload"

... you don't feel like going to work, so you fire up the ol' laptop, login, send a few emails to indicate your presence, and then go back to sleep.

... you keep tuna & frozen broccoli around because its the easiest to cook when u just don't feel like. Toss in some carton egg whites when you nee variety and nuke some brown rice. Total nuke time for a complete meal - 12 minutes, with enough rice left over for the next 5 meals.

... you end up having 5 protein shakes in a row because you are too lazy to open the tuna can.

... you are too lazy to get up and feed the cat, figuring if he gets hungry enough, he'll figure out how to break into the bag of catfood. Water is no prob either-- just leave the toilet seat up.

 

[buddy28]

... you don't feel like going to work, so you fire up the ol' laptop, login, send a few emails to indicate your presence, and then go back to sleep.

Im gonna remember this one!

 

[buddy28]

you take a dump in ur pants and u dont wipe up ur stinky cause u might miss a possible BINGO....alll the other grandmas do the same

 

[fiatconspiracy]

the other day i was at the gym deadlifting and I was looking to my left and to my right trying to figure out which weight was closer, one stack was 6 feet away and one was like 6 and a half feet away so i was stuck , then it hit me, i was at a gym to exercise and i just felt so pathetic....

 

[Dean Kuntz]

7) you wear ur cum stained clothes out in public because u havent done laundry in a month

That one hit home hard!