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Yo....I just got a call from a plumper....

chefbone

High End Bro
Platinum
I said, "What's up?"
She said, "Nothing. I'm just sitting around eating some cauliflower."
I think to myself, yeah right. I swear to god bors, that is what she said. She wants to meet up and have some drinks tonight:
Now, I can fuck the shit out of this behemoth tonight, or I can hang out with you guys. Let me tell you that she sucks a mighty fine.......(edited so it doesn't go to Between the Sheets). She also has a nice pooper. What would you do? Help!!!! :Chef: :tuc:
 
TheOak01 said:
hit it bro,basic is coming soon and there wont be the option of getting laid regularly,especially if your goin spec ops bro,do it nooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww

ding, ding, ding!
 
hit that shit bro!!!

then come back and tell us about it.

try to sneak a picture if you can!!! try this:

while you are hitting it from behind, pretend like you are getting a call.. set your alarm to go off on the phone or something... keep pounding but tell her you have to get it... make sure it leave it withing grabbing distance.... then take the phone, fire up the camera.. and snap some pics of you tagging it from beind!
 
bluepeter is right.......NASTY...
califlowers my butt she is prolly out back eating the forest
 
Lestat said:
hit that shit bro!!!

then come back and tell us about it.

try to sneak a picture if you can!!! try this:

while you are hitting it from behind, pretend like you are getting a call.. set your alarm to go off on the phone or something... keep pounding but tell her you have to get it... make sure it leave it withing grabbing distance.... then take the phone, fire up the camera.. and snap some pics of you tagging it from beind!
nice! I'm going to try that next time
 
Lestat said:
hit that shit bro!!!

then come back and tell us about it.

try to sneak a picture if you can!!! try this:

while you are hitting it from behind, pretend like you are getting a call.. set your alarm to go off on the phone or something... keep pounding but tell her you have to get it... make sure it leave it withing grabbing distance.... then take the phone, fire up the camera.. and snap some pics of you tagging it from beind!
Listen bors, this chick is a freak too. She would let me take pics but I don't have a camera phone and the digi is on hiatus. She's got some bigguns too. The best BJ 've ever had in my 28 years of life. She ain't all that big, probably around 150-155 but that ass is the focal point.
This chick is such a freak, she gave me a BJ in the frozen foods section at Krogers. The only downfall of it was I had to stay at her house that night and cook breakfast in the morning. :Chef: :tuc:
 
Here's the deal: She's meeting me at the bar around the corner where her mom works. My plan is this, I'm going to slip it to her in the parking lot and go home without any cuddle-bunny bullshit. I have 20 minutes.
:Chef: :tuc:
 
chefbone said:
Here's the deal: She's meeting me at the bar around the corner where her mom works. My plan is this, I'm going to slip it to her in the parking lot and go home without any cuddle-bunny bullshit. I have 20 minutes.
:Chef: :tuc:
in the parking lot??? dude just bring her home and give her the full treatment!!!
 
i gotta go man but have fun hitting that shit!!!!!
 
Lestat said:
in the parking lot??? dude just bring her home and give her the full treatment!!!
I just hung up with her, she says she wants the cawk tonight. I'm gunna give it to her then post up here with all of the d's. :Chef: :tuc:
 
chefbone where you at?? I hope she is not sleeping in your fucking bed!!!!
 
The way you talk about this girl is bad karma, hope it comes back to you in this life or the next.

In the afterlife
You could be headed for the serious strife
Now you make the scene all day
But tomorrow there’ll be hell to pay

People listen attentively
I mean about future calamity
I used to think the idea was obsolete
Until I heard the old man stamping his feet.

This is a place where eternally
Fire is applied to the body
Teeth are extruded and bones are ground
Then baked into cakes which are passed around.

Beauty, talent, fame, money, refinement
Top skill and brain
But all the things you try to hide
Will be revealed on the other side.

Now the d and the a and the m
And the n and the a
And the t and the i-o-n
Lose your face, lose your name
Then get fitted for a suit of flame
 
Okay bro's, here's the deal.......
When I said she was a plumper, I wasn't bullshitin'. So I met up with her last night, and when I saw her, I said GOD DAMN. This bitch put on like 20 pounds since the last time I saw her. I'd be surprised if she really was eating cauliflower when I spoke to her on the phone.
We have a couple pints and she says let's get outta here. I obliged. Sure enough, she blew me in the parking lot. Here's the kicker, after I nutted all over here grill, she says she's hungry. She asks:
CAN YOU YOU STOP BY MCDONALDS FOR A CHEESEBURGER!!!!!!!!!!
Fuggin' pig. How could I say no? :Chef: :tuc:
 
Raina said:
Wow. She's a lucky girl.
Yeah, she was lucky last night. I'm not a pig or anything like that, I love women. But this chick easily put on a solid 20 lb's. She's fuggin' cute as hell too. She claimed she was on a diet. She knows I'm packin' :rolleyes: heat :Chef: :tuc:
 
U are such a nice guy. U even bought her a cheeseburger and EVERYTHING!!!??? Golly, I thought all of the good men were only in legends.
 
medicj said:
U are such a nice guy. U even bought her a cheeseburger and EVERYTHING!!!??? Golly, I thought all of the good men were only in legends.
I didn't buy that cheeseburger. It was bad enough that I had to order it in the drive-thru. I felt like an enabler, like giving a crack head cocaine.
:Chef: :tuc:
 
chefbone said:
I didn't buy that cheeseburger. It was bad enough that I had to order it in the drive-thru. I felt like an enabler, like giving a crack head cocaine.
:Chef: :tuc:
lmao......
 
medicj said:
U are such a nice guy. U even bought her a cheeseburger and EVERYTHING!!!??? Golly, I thought all of the good men were only in legends.

Now, now, lets not give him a hard time. This female obviously doesn't respect herself. How we are treated is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves and treat ourselves.

I just hope he doesn't treat all women this way.
 
nycgirl said:
Now, now, lets not give him a hard time. This female obviously doesn't respect herself. How we are treated is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves and treat ourselves.

I just hope he doesn't treat all women this way.
I'm just giving him shit. :)
 
chefbone said:
I didn't buy that cheeseburger. It was bad enough that I had to order it in the drive-thru. I felt like an enabler, like giving a crack head cocaine.
:Chef: :tuc:
But seriously, sounds like she kinda did u a favor. Maybe u should have done her a favor .... talked to her about her cheeseburger problem.
 
medicj said:
But seriously, sounds like she kinda did u a favor. Maybe u should have done her a favor .... talked to her about her cheeseburger problem.
She brought up the weight issue last night. I gave her some tips and what not. Plus, she did make herself a protein shake....lol :Chef: :tuc:
 
chefbone said:
She brought up the weight issue last night. I gave her some tips and what not. Plus, she did make herself a protein shake....lol :Chef: :tuc:
Everybody needs protein ...
BUT SERIOUSLY!!!!! She sounds like an emotional eater. She probably needs a few good workouts to up her self esteem. Then she might realize that love can't be taken orally(AND I MEAN FOOD :rolleyes: ).
 
medicj said:
Everybody needs protein ...
BUT SERIOUSLY!!!!! She sounds like an emotional eater. She probably needs a few good workouts to up her self esteem. Then she might realize that love can't be taken orally(AND I MEAN FOOD :rolleyes: ).
She took love orally last night......Fuck yeah she did. Best BJ ever!!!!!!!!!!!!
:Chef: :tuc:
 
chefbone said:
She took love orally last night......Fuck yeah she did. Best BJ ever!!!!!!!!!!!!
:Chef: :tuc:

:lmao:

medicj, you are analyzing this situation way too much. I don't think he cares and is in this for the long haul to care about her emotional eating.

Also, workouts don't build self-esteem. I've seen women 180lbs and over full of confidence. There were times I wish I had 25% of their confidence. That being said, I'm sure we have all seen women in great shape and low body-fat percentages pretty much portray themselves as attention-whores (Hey Look At Me!!!).
 
nycgirl said:
:lmao:

medicj, you are analyzing this situation way too much. I don't think he cares and is in this for the long haul to care about her emotional eating.

Also, workouts don't build self-esteem. I've seen women 180lbs and over full of confidence. There were times I wish I had 25% of their confidence. That being said, I'm sure we have all seen women in great shape and low body-fat percentages pretty much portray themselves as attention-whores (Hey Look At Me!!!).
Let me explain.....She's been a friend for well over 15 years. I do care about her just not to the point of wanting to be with her. She has a great self-esteem but I think she has been stressed out as of late. I don't know why.
:Chef: :tuc:
 
chefbone said:
Let me explain.....She's been a friend for well over 15 years. I do care about her just not to the point of wanting to be with her. She has a great self-esteem but I think she has been stressed out as of late. I don't know why.
:Chef: :tuc:

She's been a friend for 15 years that you care about and this is how you talk about her? Am I the only one troubled by this? I thought she was some "female" you met at some bar and have sex with it.

Have you asked her why?
 
nycgirl said:
:lmao:

medicj, you are analyzing this situation way too much. I don't think he cares and is in this for the long haul to care about her emotional eating.

Also, workouts don't build self-esteem. I've seen women 180lbs and over full of confidence. There were times I wish I had 25% of their confidence. That being said, I'm sure we have all seen women in great shape and low body-fat percentages pretty much portray themselves as attention-whores (Hey Look At Me!!!).
Maybe. But once again, I was just fucking with him. And I have know several girls that had a HUGE self esteem jump once they started working out. It was good stress relief and it helped them to focus on themselves. U know what they say .... a good body is the gift u give yourself.
 
nycgirl said:
She's been a friend for 15 years that you care about and this is how you talk about her? Am I the only one troubled by this? I thought she was some "female" you met at some bar and have sex with it.

Have you asked her why?
Yes.....that is how I talk about her. I just talked to her.......COCAINE!
:Chef: :tuc:
 
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