Why is it that..

[Drunken_Weasel]

Why is it that seeing couples.. in movies, or in real life is depressing? I know what my problem is, yet I still can't approach anyone, or even think about it. I see attractive women.. and It instantly sparks back my low self esteem. I will go back to thinking how much I hate myself, and how fat and stupid I am.

I also hate hearing people compliment me... I feel as if they are doing it just to be nice. At this rate, I am never going to get into a relationship. Now I can see why my former ones ended so quickly. (not that I have had any/many)

 

[Drunken_Weasel]

And all you who said my drawings are good.. I don't beleive you. I would like to, but I still think my drawings suck.

 

[Bigsatan13]

Why are you such a dick? I read that thread and I think the compliments were sincere and that you should consider the source.

 

[Drunken_Weasel]

I know they are sincere.. but inside.. deep inside.. I just can't beleive it. I'm not trying to be a dick.. Fuck.. i hate myself.

 

[Baoh]

I feel the same way quite often.

You yearn to have the near-magical idealized relationship that is portrayed in movies. In real life, you get a glimpse or, as Sy, the photo guy would say, a snap-shot of what you'd like out of a relationship. A furtive glance. Brightened eyes. A holding of hands or small gestures that say the two people seem to actually give a damn about one another.

I like compliments, but only in retrospect, and never upon receipt. I take them as insults when compliments are immediately issued, even though they are seemingly always sincere.

You need to work on your hobbies, try to think as if hope is just another phase you'll grow out of, follow a life plan that will make you "happy" (if someone enters your life, it will be a bonus, not a requirement for the plan), and you need to focus more on your bodily condition, since it seems to cause you unneeded grief.

I have never seen your drawings, but I often think my own drawings suck, too. In reality, they're pretty fucking awesome. I just need to beat myself up enough to see it.



Oh, and if any smarmy new age retards come on here and say you should "learn to love yourself", they're about as deep as a rain puddle and should be ignored. They know fuck all about what you are going through. Introspective thought is key for you, as that will bring some realization. Not fucking Dr. Phil BS.

 

[Burning_Inside]

I used to also till i started working out. Boo hoo I'm ugly , no one likes me, etc, I want to kill myself. That was me 10 yrs. ago. There's 3 paths you can go...Stay the way you are your whole life and don't do anything about it, change, or kill yourself. I chose to change, but believe me the motivation doesn't happen overnight.

 

[Drunken_Weasel]

I used to also till i started working out. Boo hoo I'm ugly , no one likes me, etc, I want to kill myself. That was me 10 yrs. ago. There's 3 paths you can go...Stay the way you are your whole life and don't do anything about it, change, or kill yourself. I chose to change, but believe me the motivation doesn't happen overnight.

The thing is.. I am changing.. Physically mainly. I have lost ~60 lbs, and people tell me im not fat, and I look muscular.. but I just don't see it... only thing I can do is keep the workouts going...

 

[Mad4Iron]

Jesus,Like looking in a mirror.

My problem is I'm looking to the future and I've been doing that for like 20yrs.

I have to realise the future is now and grab life by the balls like I used to.

Good luck

Mad

 

[sandman_jeepn]

I went throuhg the same thing. As a matter of fact im going throuhg it again. I gained fifty pounds from the time i got married to the time after she had my son. She tells me how good im looking all the weight im losing yada, yada, yada......What i figured out in my first expierience was that i had nothing to lose. Im working out and if the chick cant see a diamond in the ruff she aint worth it. "What doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger"

 

[Drunken_Weasel]

"What doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger"

Agreed... I'm becoming stronger... mentally, but still hate how unstable the foundation is.

 

[Sinistar]

you know i was kinda in your boat. i was chunky, mainly from inactivity, and shit. i didnt have a clue as to how ppl saw me, so i didnt understand why i wasnt scoring as often as my peers. thought it must have been something in my personality. i was happy with myself, i was smart, strong, big, easy to please.

then i heard my sister call this dood fat who was far smaller than me. it clicked over the months i was fucked straight out of the gate, no matter of comedy or personality or realness would change that.

it clued me in on how etheral and meaningless love is. i dont see how something so great and shit is built on a foundation of shallowness. an objective look at the average evolution of relationships shows how much bulshit they really are built on.

while i know how much you are wanting a stable loving relationship, its not what the movies and TV shows put out. against that background, you might as well just say fuck it now, it will never happen. love is not as perfect, as clean and smooth, or as fullfilling as on a screen.

and about good looking girls, i had one so far you could call classically good looking. she was a lousy fuck, and dumb as owl shit but i hear your noise.

i have to break to you something i had to break to myself. it wont taste good. but theres a possibilty, depending on how ugly you are after you lose all the weight, that you will never bed a hot girl. it just doesnt happen sometimes man. nothing on you here. but hot girls have options, and gys like myself, and esp you, just arent on the radar screen. they can get better looking down the street. they dont care about personality, how decent and genuine you are. you are judged on your looks before you say a word.

the thing is, you are placing all your feeling of no hope in the wrong place, which is yourself. you want no hope, take a walk outside and look around. its all over. fuck hope.

so you are left at a crossroads: you can accept that your dreams, barring a high paying job or fame or natural good looks, of getting the Ceebs and Texgirls of the world is just a dream and work with what god left you, or you can continue to kick yourself over something you honestly dont have a say in. you cant change how ppl see you. grasp and accept your place in life, and that good looking girl walking down the street wont make you go home and sulk, youll just see what some ppl have and often waste. most ppl wont do that, cause the end of some dreams hurt.

seek out and expose the bullshit you see in life, and delight in all forms of destruction. busy yourself less with falling in love or baggin some hot chick, and focus on attaining more money and power. find shit that makes you happy. cause this love shit is setting yourself up for a fall. nothing lasts forever, good or bad.

but i have faith, youll get in there and mix it up and get a clue. youll figure out how brainwashed and bullshitted you were and i bet youll lose alot of that insecurity. youll be laughing at yourself soon. youll wonder why you even lost the weight.

 

[Baoh]

you know i was kinda in your boat. i was chunky, mainly from inactivity, and shit. i didnt have a clue as to how ppl saw me, so i didnt understand why i wasnt scoring as often as my peers. thought it must have been something in my personality. i was happy with myself, i was smart, strong, big, easy to please.

then i heard my sister call this dood fat who was far smaller than me. it clicked over the months i was fucked straight out of the gate, no matter of comedy or personality or realness would change that.

it clued me in on how etheral and meaningless love is. i dont see how something so great and shit is built on a foundation of shallowness. an objective look at the average evolution of relationships shows how much bulshit they really are built on.

while i know how much you are wanting a stable loving relationship, its not what the movies and TV shows put out. against that background, you might as well just say fuck it now, it will never happen. love is not as perfect, as clean and smooth, or as fullfilling as on a screen.

and about good looking girls, i had one so far you could call classically good looking. she was a lousy fuck, and dumb as owl shit but i hear your noise.

i have to break to you something i had to break to myself. it wont taste good. but theres a possibilty, depending on how ugly you are after you lose all the weight, that you will never bed a hot girl. it just doesnt happen sometimes man. nothing on you here. but hot girls have options, and gys like myself, and esp you, just arent on the radar screen. they can get better looking down the street. they dont care about personality, how decent and genuine you are. you are judged on your looks before you say a word.

the thing is, you are placing all your feeling of no hope in the wrong place, which is yourself. you want no hope, take a walk outside and look around. its all over. fuck hope.

so you are left at a crossroads: you can accept that your dreams, barring a high paying job or fame or natural good looks, of getting the Ceebs and Texgirls of the world is just a dream and work with what god left you, or you can continue to kick yourself over something you honestly dont have a say in. you cant change how ppl see you. grasp and accept your place in life, and that good looking girl walking down the street wont make you go home and sulk, youll just see what some ppl have and often waste. most ppl wont do that, cause the end of some dreams hurt.

seek out and expose the bullshit you see in life, and delight in all forms of destruction. busy yourself less with falling in love or baggin some hot chick, and focus on attaining more money and power. find shit that makes you happy. cause this love shit is setting yourself up for a fall. nothing lasts forever, good or bad.

but i have faith, youll get in there and mix it up and get a clue. youll figure out how brainwashed and bullshitted you were and i bet youll lose alot of that insecurity. youll be laughing at yourself soon. youll wonder why you even lost the weight.

Golden. Simply golden.

 

[Drunken_Weasel]

you know i was kinda in your boat. i was chunky, mainly from inactivity, and shit. i didnt have a clue as to how ppl saw me, so i didnt understand why i wasnt scoring as often as my peers. thought it must have been something in my personality. i was happy with myself, i was smart, strong, big, easy to please.

then i heard my sister call this dood fat who was far smaller than me. it clicked over the months i was fucked straight out of the gate, no matter of comedy or personality or realness would change that.

it clued me in on how etheral and meaningless love is. i dont see how something so great and shit is built on a foundation of shallowness. an objective look at the average evolution of relationships shows how much bulshit they really are built on.

while i know how much you are wanting a stable loving relationship, its not what the movies and TV shows put out. against that background, you might as well just say fuck it now, it will never happen. love is not as perfect, as clean and smooth, or as fullfilling as on a screen.

and about good looking girls, i had one so far you could call classically good looking. she was a lousy fuck, and dumb as owl shit but i hear your noise.

i have to break to you something i had to break to myself. it wont taste good. but theres a possibilty, depending on how ugly you are after you lose all the weight, that you will never bed a hot girl. it just doesnt happen sometimes man. nothing on you here. but hot girls have options, and gys like myself, and esp you, just arent on the radar screen. they can get better looking down the street. they dont care about personality, how decent and genuine you are. you are judged on your looks before you say a word.

the thing is, you are placing all your feeling of no hope in the wrong place, which is yourself. you want no hope, take a walk outside and look around. its all over. fuck hope.

so you are left at a crossroads: you can accept that your dreams, barring a high paying job or fame or natural good looks, of getting the Ceebs and Texgirls of the world is just a dream and work with what god left you, or you can continue to kick yourself over something you honestly dont have a say in. you cant change how ppl see you. grasp and accept your place in life, and that good looking girl walking down the street wont make you go home and sulk, youll just see what some ppl have and often waste. most ppl wont do that, cause the end of some dreams hurt.

seek out and expose the bullshit you see in life, and delight in all forms of destruction. busy yourself less with falling in love or baggin some hot chick, and focus on attaining more money and power. find shit that makes you happy. cause this love shit is setting yourself up for a fall. nothing lasts forever, good or bad.

but i have faith, youll get in there and mix it up and get a clue. youll figure out how brainwashed and bullshitted you were and i bet youll lose alot of that insecurity. youll be laughing at yourself soon. youll wonder why you even lost the weight.

Im going to pick a few points out of that and respond to them.

I totally agree with you that girls, nomatter what they say, will care about looks over personality.. Shit.. if personality mattered, I would have plenty of experience in relationships.. But sadly.. its the looks that matter, and I have good looks, covered by fat. Which is why I strive to lose it.. slowly but surely.

You tell me to strive for money and power... I say fuck money and power.. Money doesnt make me happy, and I don't like power... Most humans are dependant on money and power, but I could give a rat's ass... My best friend finds it odd that I tell him, I would be happy with just barely making it by.. and I am. I like to work... and If I were wealthy.. I would just blow the money like nothing, so fuck being rich.

I know relationships arent what movies show.. I'm not a moron. I am basing most of it off of my close friends, who have steady and good relationships.. While I sit here just barely even have kissed a girl... To me, Love is what I live for. I was raised on love by my grandmother, and she is gone now.. and I have a hole in my heart.

Truth is, I don't strive to be stronger, wealthier, or more powerful than other people. I am a big soft hearted pussy. I don't mind that, but I do mind that the ones who do strive for that get further. I won't change because of it though.

 

[beefybull]

Hey Weas,
Download "Money, Power, Respect" - The Lox, b/c seriously, thats what you need in life. Add food, pussy, drugs, and sports to the mix and you have everything you need.

 

[Norman Bates]

The thing is.. I am changing.. Physically mainly. I have lost ~60 lbs, and people tell me im not fat, and I look muscular.. but I just don't see it... only thing I can do is keep the workouts going...

Gratulations.

BTW. i would not admit these insecurities to people you meet in the real world, especially to girls.

 

[Drunken_Weasel]

Gratulations.

BTW. i would not admit these insecurities to people you meet in the real world, especially to girls.

Too late.. I'm too fucking open... and hate myself too much to keep it secret.

 

[Drunken_Weasel]

Hey Weas,
Download "Money, Power, Respect" - The Lox, b/c seriously, thats what you need in life. Add food, pussy, drugs, and sports to the mix and you have everything you need.

What you NEED in life? I don't think so. Money != Happiness.. absolutely not. and Money is Power.. power is totally unnecessary aswell. Respect.. now that is necessary.. both self respect and respect from others... Aswell as Love.. Love is something I need.. Most families have love.. your parents love you.. whatever whatever... Only one I had that loved me is gone.. and like I said.. I have a void in myself...

 

[Burning_Inside]

By the way, if you evolve like I did, you will msot likely get to the point where women are are about a 2 on the top 20 lists of priorities.

Let me tell you something....

I can care less right now in my life if I ever fuck a girl ever again, and I'm not even kidding. Let me tell you why. 1: so many things about women disgust me that, I mean, if I don't like them for the most part why would I want to fuck them? I can't even do it just fo the sport of it anymore. Which leads to point 2: It's not worth it in a: time and b: disease and c: pregnancy. If I feel the need to ejaculate, I jerk off. I have no need anymore to get all dolled up and go drive to a chicks house, (possibly bring her back to my place) "put up with her" for x amount of time it takes to get in her pants, then "put up with her" afterwards (when all I really wanna do is get on the internet or play some video games ) and drive her allll the way back home. THEN you have to worry about diseases and pregnancy afterwards. Pregnacy can be taken care of with the pill for the most part, but what about the disease thing? (I don't use condoms, it ain't sex to me if I'm using one, and I will never use one again.)

All this BULLSHIT for a 15-20 second orgasm?

Sorry but I've grown up and out of it. Or maybe my test levels are sinking. Who knows or cares. Whatever it is, it's keeping me in line and out of trouble and keeping excess undo stress out of my life.

Bottom line is....I'm trying to tell you that there is more to life than bagging a chick, hot or not. Granted tho', if you've never had a point in your life where you got to experience women and bag a lot of em, then of course, it's only natural you want to strive to get there. But I'm just telling you what possibly comes after that part of your life and what to maybe look forward to. I'm sure one day I'll find a chick I actually LIKE and maybe the whole "fucking for the hell of it because I can and because it is (was) fun" will turn into "fucking because I really like her" and maybe the whole experience will be better as a whole that what I've been though, who knows.

 

[Drunken_Weasel]

By the way, if you evolve like I did, you will msot likely get to the point where women are are about a 2 on the top 20 lists of priorities.

Let me tell you something....

I can care less right now in my life if I ever fuck a girl ever again, and I'm not even kidding. Let me tell you why. 1: so many things about women disgust me that, I mean, if I don't like them for the most part why would I want to fuck them? I can't even do it just fo the sport of it anymore. Which leads to point 2: It's not worth it in a: time and b: disease and c: pregnancy. If I feel the need to ejaculate, I jerk off. I have no need anymore to get all dolled up and go drive to a chicks house, (possibly bring her back to my place) "put up with her" for x amount of time it takes to get in her pants, then "put up with her" afterwards (when all I really wanna do is get on the internet or play some video games ) and drive her allll the way back home. THEN you have to worry about diseases and pregnancy afterwards. Pregnacy can be taken care of with the pill for the most part, but what about the disease thing? (I don't use condoms, it ain't sex to me if I'm using one, and I will never use one again.)

All this BULLSHIT for a 15-20 second orgasm?

Sorry but I've grown up and out of it. Or maybe my test levels are sinking. Who knows or cares. Whatever it is, it's keeping me in line and out of trouble and keeping excess undo stress out of my life.

Bottom line is....I'm trying to tell you that there is more to life than bagging a chick, hot or not. Granted tho', if you've never had a point in your life where you got to experience women and bag a lot of em, then of course, it's only natural you want to strive to get there. But I'm just telling you what possibly comes after that part of your life and what to maybe look forward to. I'm sure one day I'll find a chick I actually LIKE and maybe the whole "fucking for the hell of it because I can and because it is (was) fun" will turn into "fucking because I really like her" and maybe the whole experience will be better as a whole that what I've been though, who knows.

I never said anything about fucking... I just have the need inside me to be close to someone.. To be able to be with someone that cares, to be able to get along, cuddle.. ect.
I also don't think I could ever HATE females. Sorry B.I.T.C.H.S. but... its just not me.. I don't hate many people, and could never hate women.

 

[Burning_Inside]

What you NEED in life? I don't think so. Money != Happiness.. absolutely not.

Something tells me you still live at home and for the most part supported by parents and haven't found out how necessary money is. I still live at home, but I'm a realist and at last glance, I saw I lived on planet Earth, and money is still necessary.

 

[Drunken_Weasel]

Something tells me you still live at home and for the most part supported by parents and haven't found out how necessary money is. I still live at home, but I'm a realist and at last glance, I saw I lived on planet Earth, and money is still necessary.

I'm not a moron.. I pay my bills.. I know money is Necessary, but in no means does becoming wealthy mean shit. I'm good with just making enough to make due. So.. I reitterate (sp).. Money does not make Happiness!

 

[Puddles]

DW, I used to feel a lot like you do right now when I was younger...before I met my husband. Luckily we met in high school and I didn't have to go through what you're going through. Like you, I wouldn't enjoy my life without a loving relationship in it. Please don't believe that every decent girl cares more about looks than personality...looks play a part, but moreso in the initial attraction than in true love, you'll see this is true as you get older. Keep going to the gym and do it for yourself...enjoy the time you're there. Someday you're going to be lookin so hot the girls will be coming to you in flocks...of course with your luck, this will probably happen after you're in a relationship, right? LOL

Hang in there! Someday everything's gonna fall into place for you.

Oh...and fuck you, your drawings ARE good!

 

[Drunken_Weasel]

DW, I used to feel a lot like you do right now when I was younger...before I met my husband. Luckily we met in high school and I didn't have to go through what you're going through. Like you, I wouldn't enjoy my life without a loving relationship in it. Please don't believe that every decent girl cares more about looks than personality...looks play a part, but moreso in the initial attraction than in true love, you'll see this is true as you get older. Keep going to the gym and do it for yourself...enjoy the time you're there. Someday you're going to be lookin so hot the girls will be coming to you in flocks...of course with your luck, this will probably happen after you're in a relationship, right? LOL

Hang in there! Someday everything's gonna fall into place for you.

Oh...and fuck you, your drawings ARE good!

I can't stay mad at you heh..

and actually.. with my luck.. I will have the good body, and I will still get nothing. or worse yet.. I will die before getting the good body...

I have found a few girls that like my personality, and ... I could probobly hit it off with.. thing is.. every one of those I do find.. are already in relationships.. just my luck.

 

[Puddles]

LOL

Don't count those girls out. I was in a relationship when I met my husband, but after being really good friends with him for over a year, I couldn't resist him any more. I loved his personality and as a best friend first, then the physical attraction set in later. So...keep hanging with your female friends! One of them may realize what a catch you are and if her current relationship isn't fulfilling her, she'll come to ya.

 

[Drunken_Weasel]

LOL

Don't count those girls out. I was in a relationship when I met my husband, but after being really good friends with him for over a year, I couldn't resist him any more. I loved his personality and as a best friend first, then the physical attraction set in later. So...keep hanging with your female friends! One of them may realize what a catch you are and if her current relationship isn't fulfilling her, she'll come to ya.

Doubtful...
One is very attractive, sweet.. she has a boyfriend, and is very religious (I don't beleive in god). But.. I try to never lose friends..

 

[Sinistar]

Love is something I need.. Most families have love.. your parents love you.. whatever whatever... Only one I had that loved me is gone.. and like I said.. I have a void in myself...
----------------------------------------------------

your fucked already, no woman can make up for family.

-------------------------------------------------
You tell me to strive for money and power... I say fuck money and power.. Money doesnt make me happy, and I don't like power... Most humans are dependant on money and power, but I could give a rat's ass... My best friend finds it odd that I tell him, I would be happy with just barely making it by.. and I am. I like to work... and If I were wealthy.. I would just blow the money like nothing, so fuck being rich.
-------------------------------------------------

some ppl dont have anything else. i can see you still havent caught onto how nothing in life is for sure, at least how far that statement rolls.

drunken buddy itll be OK. i think i can speak for everyone hear in that we hope you have it better than we did, but i dont hold much hope.

go back and read my post again, and dont tense up when i hit a soft spot. im not lieing to you, consider it a warning, a taste of things to come. this is life, a zero sum game.

you are placing too much of your happiness on other ppl, which is always gonna end bad.

im reminded of a George Carlin rant, which you can get off kazaa or soulseek. its basically saying that ppl suck. when was the last time you saw a chicken beating the shit out of its hen? or joining a gang? you never hear of anyone killing a chicken cause there a pest, but you hear of plenty of ppl who are.

 

[beefybull]

Money doesnt directly buy happiness, but you can sure buy a lot of shit that makes you happy.

Dont tell me you wouldnt be as happy as a mother if you had twenty million dollars. You'd be ballin absolutely out of control. Different hos every night(or a steady woman if you wanted), A mansion or two, 30 cars, pounds of smoke, etc. Tell me that shit wouldnt make you happy...

 

[Drunken_Weasel]

I want no handouts. I like to make my own living. I will earn what I get, and I will work to live.

 

[sandman_jeepn]

I use to say i want no help also. Guess what, what u think u did on ur own, look arund there is always somebody in the back ground that helped u out. It doesn't have to be a friend. It could be a girl that thinks ur cute..ie. You will always need help, and dont tell me no. When u max out in the gym there is always somebody watching to make sure u don't hurt urself. Those r just a couple of examples. I don't know about u but i was brought up to belive in God. Things happen for a reason. People will always help. Even assholes like me, i gave a ride to some chick and her baby the other day . They were walking on the side of 441, a main highway in orlando. Even if she thought like u, i bet she was happy for the ride and to be out of the rain. I met my wife on the side of the road. I had 2 flat tires, and a car pulled over to see if i needed help. 2 monthe later she moved in with me and a year later got married. Its been four wonderful years married. If u think a wife or girlfriend will let u struggle on ur own think again. Don't be so FUCKIN NEGATIVE AND SELF CENTERED. Open ur eyes. If u think money isnt happiness drive to ur local hood, real ghetto hood. Tell those kids money isnt happiness.

 

[Burning_Inside]

If u think money isnt happiness drive to ur local hood, real ghetto hood. Tell those kids money isnt happiness.

Too true. If you don't have money, you don't survive in this world. No, money can't buy happiness, but that's because no one is selling pure happiness in a bottle. You buy stuff to make you happy. You pay bills with money to keep you warm, feed yourself, etc, so you can stay ALIVE to BE happy in the first place.

I invite anyone who believes money doesn't equal happiness to go live in the woods in the mountains and go build themselves a log cabin without any help from anyone and survive on their own for a year.

 

[Norman Bates]

Too true. If you don't have money, you don't survive in this world. No, money can't buy happiness, but that's because no one is selling pure happiness in a bottle. You buy stuff to make you happy. You pay bills with money to keep you warm, feed yourself, etc, so you can stay ALIVE to BE happy in the first place.

I invite anyone who believes money doesn't equal happiness to go live in the woods in the mountains and go build themselves a log cabin without any help from anyone and survive on their own for a year.

I disagree partially. Happiness is achieved through satisfying your desires, but only some of them can be satisfied with money.
I agree insofar that without the basic desires like clothing and food satisfied by money, the more abstract desires don´t matter.

 

[Drunken_Weasel]

I never said that I don't have the money for basic survival, or that I don't have the want to keep doing that.. I just said I don't want to strive for money, and power.. as in wealth, ... its fucking pointless to me.. there is nothing I can buy that will make me happy.

 

[beefybull]

I never said that I don't have the money for basic survival, or that I don't have the want to keep doing that.. I just said I don't want to strive for money, and power.. as in wealth, ... its fucking pointless to me.. there is nothing I can buy that will make me happy.

Pick up a $20 sack and "ignite the insight" as my homey Havoc would say. You'll feel much better.




Hey Wodin! Can I get a "Make money money make money money money"?!?! LoL. Burning Inside said it right Weas, money makes the world go round. You should watch Scarface. Thats what I'm talkin about.