Why do women do this?

[EnderJE]

Yesterday was an unusual day. I ran into a particular woman that I knew in the past.

She was a buddy of mine for a summer before she moved away and we stopped communicating due to the distance. We ran into each other in the park and chatted for a bit about where our lives have gone and about our lives right now. I remember from them then and about having the hots for her; but I was never sure what she thought and what she would of said as she was in an abusive relationship back then.

Anyways, near the end of the conversation, my youngest kid starts crying. So, I pick him up and start to say goodbye when she just blurts out...

"You know, I had such crush on your back then and for years later. I was really broken up when you stopped calling and writing. I would of done anything to be with you. I was hoping that you would of tried something on the last night before I left."

I, stunned, just say..."Oh." After an uncomfortable pause, "I guess things weren't meant to be." and smile. We say our goodbyes, exchange phone numbers (but realize that we'll never call) and part ways.

As I'm walking to the car, I just can't help but think "WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING BACK THEN?" I should of asked her, but didn't.

So, rather then call her, I thought I post it here to get some thoughts. Why go to the source and the answer, when you can ask a bunch of strangers?

I realize that its too late know because I don't think I could afford child support for 2 kids and alimony and I love my wife; but now I wonder what life would of been like...

 

[Bikini Mod]

It is really easy to say... "What if?" And "Why didn't you say something then" when there is NO WAY for anything to happen now. People SAY things all the time... doesn't amount to a hill of beans.

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.

You love your wife and have two beautiful children. THAT IS REALITY.

This story that you just posted ended before it ever began. You should take this little encounter as a reality check to appreciate the wonderful situation you have in your life NOW not look at it as "what would life have been like if..."

Just my .02

 

[nannynannyfoofoo]

women are manipulative and attention-needy by nature. Some moreso than others.

She didn't want you then. She is telling you she wants you now to try and get some attention and feed her petty ego.

 

[PBR]

Bikinimom-very good post....Ender we have people like this in our lives, that come and go...there was no alterior motives on her part, she was simply reflecting on the past and letting you know how you were thought of....your response to her was that of surprise-because all of this time you thought the feelings were one-sided...we are constantly given choices in this life....when we choose a direction, thats what it is...and the people we meet along the way-take us in these directions....this does not make them mistakes....simply a choice of a different path....now you both know....

 

[sh4dowf4lcon]

 

[jenscats5]

Well, it could be Fear of rejection made her not say anything before cuz she didn't know how you felt & was afraid to say anything for fear of being told "I don't feel the same way you feel." That sux when that happens. Maybe she just felt the need to be honest about her feelings since you are now "safe" to her being married with kids.

Everything happens for a reason, and it probably wasn't meant to be. Plus if you had hooked up with her you wouldn't have your wife whom you love or your 2 kids. The fact that nothing happened previously may have saved you from a potential bad relationship. Who knows? You could spend your whole life asking "What if....?" but why bother? Enjoy what you have now & live for today.

 

[Ashamed]

The bitch is always nicer on the other side of the fence.

 

[EnderJE]

I don't questions whether or not I made the right choice...not that I had one back then. Nor, would I change anything about how life turned out (except I would give myself the winning lotto ticket numbers). Given how the past ten years have played out, I can't imagine anything different.

I'm just curious as to why she would bother to bring it up now?

 

[b fold the truth]

Looking to find reason in a woman's actions???? What are you thinking???

Had an ex who called every few months and it always made me wonder 'what if' quite a bit. Hey...she dumped me though...twice. She didn't want me then...she surely wouldn't want me now either. Must just be a game.

As long as we live, the people that we care a lot about will do things that we never understand.

B True

 

[2Shy]

Did you ever say anything to her back then?

It's the now that's important. When you knew her she probably had to get her act together since she was with an abusive guy. It wasn't the right time.

Don't know why she mentioned it now. Seems like seeing you with your kid made her say it. Maybe she has regrets for where her life has taken her?

 

[winny100]

Its good job men don't have such a big hang up for fear of rejection

 

[PIGEON-RAT]

Don't waste your time wondering about it. bikinimom summed it up nicely. you're married, you're happy i assume, so don't live your life with any regrets about women in the past.

 

[Heahy Minister]

Give the dude some slack. Who are any of you kidding, it is part of life to wonder "what if?" every now and then. Just because he is asking himself "what if?" doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate his wife, his current life and situation, etc.

Everyone asks "what if?" all the time. There is nothing wrong with that.

Ender is she married? Maybe she saw the fact that you are married with a beautiful child and that is what she desires. You were a good apple (since you became a husband and father...what more could women ask for?) and maybe SHE regrets letting you slip by, which is why she blurted that out. Why didn't SHE say something back then??

Interesting how things turn out, isn't it?

 

[Gymgurl]

Don't risk what you have for something that you are wondering about. It will never be better than your family. Because that is what you will lose in the end.

 

[Juicifer]

"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING BACK THEN?"...

same reason you didn't buddy! thats just how it works and it sucks...knowing this i often tell ppl exactly how i feel

 

[Smurfy]

Looking to find reason in a woman's actions???? What are you thinking???

Had an ex who called every few months and it always made me wonder 'what if' quite a bit. Hey...she dumped me though...twice. She didn't want me then...she surely wouldn't want me now either. Must just be a game.

As long as we live, the people that we care a lot about will do things that we never understand.

B True

any woman who would dump you is crazy IMO.

 

[Daisy_Girl]

any woman who would dump you is crazy IMO.

I second that!

 

[seraphElite]

dude you have a wife and kids, im not sure how good your life is going.....but come on..does your wife love you? jesus man who cares abotu this dumb chick...if she really cared about you and wanted to be with you she would had said somthing before she left......the fact you even kidded about child support scares me bro...who cares about her? go to yer wife

 

[b fold the truth]

any woman who would dump you is crazy IMO.

Thanks. Daisy...you too.

That woman broke my heart because I loved her so much. I still care A LOT about her well-being. I fight off the need to call her at least once a week JUST to make sure that she is ok and still doesn't need anything.

I took a lot of straight up crap in that relationship...but the one thing that I could never take is seeing a tear fall down her face.

People told me for 10 months that I needed to get out of that relationship...but I never listened. It took me 10 months (or MUCH longer) to realize what they were all telling me.

I saw her cry quite a few times...except when she was telling me how sorry that she was for whatever she had done to me that week.

Nefi, my current girlfriend, tells me daily that I am the greatest human that she has ever met. You know what...I know that I'm not, but it sure does mean a lot coming from someone who loves me. She gave me faith in a kind and gentle heart in a woman with values. She gave me faith that a woman really will love and care for me just as much as I do her.

Advice to the original poster: Don't look for reasons, just accept what is going on. I stopped looking for reasons as to why Nefi could POSSIBLY love me and just accepted the fact that she REALLY does. She is WAY out of my league...AND tax bracket too.

Ladies...coming from both of you...what you said to me means a ton to me. Seriously. You really haven't a clue.

B True

 

[Pamela]

Yesterday was an unusual day. I ran into a particular woman that I knew in the past.

She was a buddy of mine for a summer before she moved away and we stopped communicating due to the distance. We ran into each other in the park and chatted for a bit about where our lives have gone and about our lives right now. I remember from them then and about having the hots for her; but I was never sure what she thought and what she would of said as she was in an abusive relationship back then.


She knew you liked her then. And she wondered why you didn't
approach her?




"You know, I had such crush on your back then and for years later. I was really broken up when you stopped calling and writing. I would of done anything to be with you. I was hoping that you would of tried something on the last night before I left."


"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING BACK THEN?" I should of asked her, but didn't.

She was probably wondering the same thing.

So, rather then call her, I thought I post it here to get some thoughts. Why go to the source and the answer, when you can ask a bunch of strangers?

I realize that its too late know because I don't think I could afford child support for 2 kids and alimony and I love my wife; but now I wonder what life would of been like...

I think it's normal to wonder how it would have been.

Sounds your happy and now you have others to think about.
(kids). You have obligations to them.


Pamela

 

[Pamela]

women are manipulative and attention-needy by nature. Some moreso than others.

She didn't want you then. She is telling you she wants you now to try and get some attention and feed her petty ego.

This happen to me with this guy I was madly in love with.
He showed up at my work.


Why is it that it's always the women that manipulative?

 

[Raina]

I'm not big on pondering "what ifs". It's too easy to build something up in your mind to be perfect. It's not realistic.

 

[ChefWide]

Sounds like some furious masterbation is in order. She clearly lost out on a good man who cares for his wife and loves his kids.

Now add her to your 'list of chicks i will never have sex with in person but will sodomize with abandon in my fantasies while flogging the crimson bishop' list

 

[PHATchik]

any woman who would dump you is crazy IMO.

Ain't that the truth?!

B has a really good point though. Sometimes, the people we love will do things that hurt us and completely confuse the hell out of us. THey will do things that really don't have a good explanation, no matter what they try to come up with. We will never understand some of their motives and actions. And when we do those things that the people we love don't understand, we can only hope that they love us enough to stay with us, even when we do stupid things.

B also has a point when he said that we should stop looking for reasons for things and simply accept what is happening. I became a much happier and less indecisive/confused person when I decided to do this myself. I think that in relationships, if we try to analyze why someone loves us, we'll never do it. I see all my faults and reasons why someone couldn't and shouldn't love me. All my insecurities are pretty strong sometimes. But when I just sit back and say, you know what, he loves me and quit trying to figure out what kind of motive or insanity has caused it, life is much sweeter.

 

[Bikini Mod]

any woman who would dump you is crazy IMO.

You know I feel the same, don't you?

Looking from where you are standing now, regardless of how much it hurt when she dumped you then... AREN'T YOU GLAD SHE DID?!

 

[b fold the truth]

You know I feel the same, don't you?

Looking from where you are standing now, regardless of how much it hurt when she dumped you then... AREN'T YOU GLAD SHE DID?!

You know...I remember being on the phone with you, in tears, talking about how much I missed her. Sometimes...I still REALLY do.

I realize that there was a better woman out there...a MUCH better woman.

Nefi is always afraid that some hot woman is going to jump me and snatch me away from her. She is afraid that I am going to see my X and be with her again. She just has no clue...lol...how much more she is...in so many ways.

B True

 

[JBRO]

i think you should cheat on your wife with her. there is nothing like a new hand down the pants. and the child support, just dont pay it. let them struggle.























just kidding.

 

[BonerBoy]

women are manipulative and attention-needy by nature. Some moreso than others.

She didn't want you then. She is telling you she wants you now to try and get some attention and feed her petty ego.

yep

 

[CipherLock]

I didn't read any of this thread, seriously not one part of it but the answer is as clear to me as the opening in my penis.

Deep down you know what is required of you. Make the most of this situation and eat as much finger food as required.

Also, crisco is not a natural lube.