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Burning_Inside
Elite Mentor
maybe they would not evolve at all, like sharks and gators/
What would elephants evolve into if we didn't kill them all?
- Thread starter Burning_Inside
- Start date
Doktor Bollix
New member
Bear with me on this.
So elephants have attained a certain level of sentience. They are aware of each other as individuals and show organized behaviour such as a special mourning dance when one of them croaks that demonstrates considerable social complexity and also an awareness of death, which is surely a threshold of consciousness.
So elephants are smart. But not all that smart. They managed to seriously inhibit the agricultural development of Africa for millennia because they are extremely large and voracious animals with notably short tempers and the locals found the roaming millions of them an obvious impediment to agricultural endeavour. Ivory was an exhorbitantly expensive commodity because killing pissed off elephants with spears is, contrary to popular belief, not an easy thing to do. Elephants were domesticated in the Indian sub-continent and are useful fuckers and the Carthaginians had some now extinct North African model for their attack on Rome. Shock and Awe of the day. Interestingly their Shock and Awe worked best as propoganda too. African elephants are more ornery than their Asian fellow pachyderms.
Then a foul affliction of British fell upon the land with the boom-boom sticks and the elephants were all done. Now they're just mountains of meat whose habitats are swallowed up by hungry people with AK-47s. Which sucks and all but such is life.
So what would elephants evolve into? If they had been left on their own without such an apocalyptic intervention by those jumped up monkey fucks, humans, for say a million years. What would they be like?
They have an extremely dexterous trunk that they use for all kinds of awesome shit including some tool use.
They're off and running compared to other animals with the trunk; complex manipulation of the environment is essential for any species that wants to evolve into anything cool.
Some of you will surely proclaim indignantly at this point. "Well elephants were very adapted to their environment and have been essentially unchanged for millions of years before Australopithicus first picked his ass!.'' I hear ya bro. Obviously necessity is the mother of invention when it comes to evolution.
Jung claimed that the primary drive of human understanding is religious. Our curious monkey brain architecture has driven a mental exploration of the Universe which accelerated our consciousness at a rate so much faster than any other species. Interestingly, some have theorized that consumption of psychoactive compounds in mushrooms, weed and all, catalyzed this universe-as-religious-experience life of ours in our tripped out monkey forebears.
So I reckon the elephants are going to need some good stuff.
Seriously. That's all I got. I have no other ideas on how to evolve elephants into critters that perfect faster than light travel.
If you want to argue a forced diet of American TV Clock-work Orange style will do it for the elephants, off ya go.
No beer though, probably bad for elephants
So elephants have attained a certain level of sentience. They are aware of each other as individuals and show organized behaviour such as a special mourning dance when one of them croaks that demonstrates considerable social complexity and also an awareness of death, which is surely a threshold of consciousness.
So elephants are smart. But not all that smart. They managed to seriously inhibit the agricultural development of Africa for millennia because they are extremely large and voracious animals with notably short tempers and the locals found the roaming millions of them an obvious impediment to agricultural endeavour. Ivory was an exhorbitantly expensive commodity because killing pissed off elephants with spears is, contrary to popular belief, not an easy thing to do. Elephants were domesticated in the Indian sub-continent and are useful fuckers and the Carthaginians had some now extinct North African model for their attack on Rome. Shock and Awe of the day. Interestingly their Shock and Awe worked best as propoganda too. African elephants are more ornery than their Asian fellow pachyderms.
Then a foul affliction of British fell upon the land with the boom-boom sticks and the elephants were all done. Now they're just mountains of meat whose habitats are swallowed up by hungry people with AK-47s. Which sucks and all but such is life.
So what would elephants evolve into? If they had been left on their own without such an apocalyptic intervention by those jumped up monkey fucks, humans, for say a million years. What would they be like?
They have an extremely dexterous trunk that they use for all kinds of awesome shit including some tool use.
They're off and running compared to other animals with the trunk; complex manipulation of the environment is essential for any species that wants to evolve into anything cool.
Some of you will surely proclaim indignantly at this point. "Well elephants were very adapted to their environment and have been essentially unchanged for millions of years before Australopithicus first picked his ass!.'' I hear ya bro. Obviously necessity is the mother of invention when it comes to evolution.
Jung claimed that the primary drive of human understanding is religious. Our curious monkey brain architecture has driven a mental exploration of the Universe which accelerated our consciousness at a rate so much faster than any other species. Interestingly, some have theorized that consumption of psychoactive compounds in mushrooms, weed and all, catalyzed this universe-as-religious-experience life of ours in our tripped out monkey forebears.
So I reckon the elephants are going to need some good stuff.
Seriously. That's all I got. I have no other ideas on how to evolve elephants into critters that perfect faster than light travel.
If you want to argue a forced diet of American TV Clock-work Orange style will do it for the elephants, off ya go.
No beer though, probably bad for elephants
Testosterone boy
New member
wow
Testosterone boy
New member
HumorMe said:
What I was thinking too.
Doktor Bollix
New member
There is of course an aliens theory here. Frankly I'm surprised no one mentioned the possibility elephants evolved a billion years into the future on another planet could come and kill us all!
Just fucking around with the elephants guys.
I don't need anything apart from post-bar fatigue to churn shit like that out.
Just fucking around with the elephants guys.
I don't need anything apart from post-bar fatigue to churn shit like that out.
