...........What the fuck should I do?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[seaking420]

Ok I've been together with my girl for 11 years, we've been living together for about 6 years, have a 2 year old and have a house together, so you can say that we're technically married. I started to see someone else about 11 months ago and started to fall for her too. I love both women, so basically Im at a crossroad, not sure where to go. I love the person Im "married" to but not sure if Im in-love with her, but I just feel like sometimes im just content in the relationship and not extremely happy, it could be because we've been together for a long time that I feel this way. She's a great person but not sure if she's the "right one" for me. At times I do, other times I dont.
The other woman that Im seeing is also married with 2 kids. She is very unhappy in her marriage and is going to leave him soon. She is extremely fun to be around, makes me laugh and we have alot of things in common, but I wonder if its the "honeymoon" part of the relationship and if it'll change down the road. It started as just fuck freinds, but then emotions got the best of us. So I dont know what to do. I want to be with just one person, I dont want to continue all these lies to the woman Im living with. Its fucked up when Im with one I say to myself she is great and I should be with her, then when Im with the other one I say the same thing.
I wish there was an easy answer to all this. I wish I could see the future with each one and where my life will be 10-20 years down the road with either one.
Another part of me says to forget about both of them and be single and not date anyone serious for awhile, live in a condo so I dont have to work on the fuckin house all the time and Ill have some more time to myself. My head has been spinning for months due to all of this.

I also think that relationships are hard as hell, and an pain in the ass!!!!
I have no one to talk to about this except the good ol' crew of EF.

 

[jestro]

You're a dumb mother fucker.

 

[LuluDeren]

Oh dear. Whatever happened to the dignity of waiting for the one you deserve?

Sorry about your circumstance, but I think your child should be first and foremost when considering your next move.

 

[billfred]

You're a dumb mother fucker.

I second that notion

 

[cindylou]

You really cant compare a new relationship to one with kids ; house to run ; bills. Yes you are in honeymoon stage. Apples to oranges.

My advice? End both relationships. Especially with the married woman. Ask youself why you cheated on someone you are supposed to love? Figure that out and make sure you dont do it again in the next relationship.

Why cant people end one relationship before they start another????

 

[vixensghost]

Wow . When did you lose the respect for your live in g/f? I'm always curious as to what made people ,or when the defining moment was, when things like this take place....

It's a dark place I'd not want to venture.

 

[cindylou]

Wow . When did you lose the respect for your live in g/f? I'm always curious as to what made people ,or when the defining moment was, when things like this take place....

It's a dark place I'd not want to venture.

Selfishness.

Whatever feels good to them at the moment.

 

[stilleto]

I second that notion

thirded.

 

[vixensghost]

Selfishness.

Whatever feels good to them at the moment.

YEAH, the grass, or in this case, the ass, always does seem greener on the other side of the fence.

Funny, no matter how wonderful this "other" woman is, she's a cheater like him, and would NOT be worth good realtionship material in the future.

Just something to think about..Seeking.

 

[jestro]

thirded.

Fourthed

 

[biteme]

Ok I've been together with my girl for 11 years, we've been living together for about 6 years, have a 2 year old and have a house together, so you can say that we're technically married. I started to see someone else about 11 months ago and started to fall for her too. I love both women, so basically Im at a crossroad, not sure where to go. I love the person Im "married" to but not sure if Im in-love with her, but I just feel like sometimes im just content in the relationship and not extremely happy, it could be because we've been together for a long time that I feel this way. She's a great person but not sure if she's the "right one" for me. At times I do, other times I dont.
The other woman that Im seeing is also married with 2 kids. She is very unhappy in her marriage and is going to leave him soon. She is extremely fun to be around, makes me laugh and we have alot of things in common, but I wonder if its the "honeymoon" part of the relationship and if it'll change down the road. It started as just fuck freinds, but then emotions got the best of us. So I dont know what to do. I want to be with just one person, I dont want to continue all these lies to the woman Im living with. Its fucked up when Im with one I say to myself she is great and I should be with her, then when Im with the other one I say the same thing.
I wish there was an easy answer to all this. I wish I could see the future with each one and where my life will be 10-20 years down the road with either one.
Another part of me says to forget about both of them and be single and not date anyone serious for awhile, live in a condo so I dont have to work on the fuckin house all the time and Ill have some more time to myself. My head has been spinning for months due to all of this.

I also think that relationships are hard as hell, and an pain in the ass!!!!
I have no one to talk to about this except the good ol' crew of EF.

No way I could betray my woman like that. Cheating is one thing, but having feelings for another woman is on a whole different level. Maybe you don't love your longtime girlfriend?

 

[covergrl80]

Call Jerry Springer cause you got yourself a nice little situation

 

[seaking420]

I know Im going to get alot of negative responses to this because of this sensitive situation. But the fact is that it is my situation and I figured Id get some advice, both positive and negative.

You're a dumb mother fucker.

I agree 100% I tell myself that Im a moran eveyday because of it and I cant make up my mind.

Sorry about your circumstance, but I think your child should be first and foremost when considering your next move.

I have thought about that often, my thoughts are that he'll be happy if his mom and dad are happy.

Ask youself why you cheated on someone you are supposed to love?

Well I know why...............she cheated on me years ago and never admitted to it, but I know for a fact that she did, so I wanted a little revenge(I know, immature) so I had the opportunity to get laid and took it, fiiguring it was going to only be sex.......well I was wrong. And to make matters worse I completely trust that she wouldnt do that to me now, it was years ago when we first started dating.

 

[seaking420]

Call Jerry Springer cause you got yourself a nice little situation

lmao, I feel like one of those idiots on there. I never thought I would put myself in a situation like this.

 

[Gymgurl]

Because you put yourself in this situation it tells me that you are not happy at home. Otherwise you would not be looking. You need to address the issues there first and then move on if it can't be resolved

 

[Bikini Mod]

OK... he fucked up but good. However, all of us calling him names isn't going to help.

Cindylou is spot on about *the honeymoon*. What do ya'll share that is real? Stolen moments where "the real world" is outside the confines of the room where you are having sex like teenagers, no cares, no responsibility, just what YOU want at that moment in time. <---- maybe this is what you are missing from your REAL relationship, you know, the one that the mother of your child thought you committed to?

My advice? (Since you asked)

End the affair POINTBLANK. You haver ZERO business in another man's marriage. If she is miserable, then she needs to leave on her own.

Go back to your FAMILY and get yourself some counseling to see if you can identify what it was that made you go astray (it takes two) and see if she is willing to take you back and try to make it BETTER.

Marriage ain't no cakewalk.

If after you guys get some counseling and realize that the relationship is damaged beyond repair then be adults and go your separate ways. Be friends so that you can co-parent your child in your respective loving homes.

No reason to make everyone miserable just for the sake of going through the motions. You only get one life... this is no dress rehearsal. Any child who grew up in a home with miserable parents who "stayed together for the sake of the children" but whom treated each other with contempt and disrespect will tell you it was NOT good for them.

 

[binö]

lmao, I feel like one of those idiots on there. I never thought I would put myself in a situation like this.

bro, before you get too hard on yourself, understand that people in this thread have just as fucked up situations as you do...they pile on because it momentarily makes them forget their own fucked up situations.
but, with that being said, you got a platefull.
and i predict it's gonna erupt in your face so two things:
a. she's cheating on you
b. fuck that cheating whore post her pics/tits

 

[cindylou]

Well I know why...............she cheated on me years ago and never admitted to it, but I know for a fact that she did, so I wanted a little revenge(I know, immature) so I had the opportunity to get laid and took it, fiiguring it was going to only be sex.......well I was wrong. And to make matters worse I completely trust that she wouldnt do that to me now, it was years ago when we first started dating.

No excuse at all. Just awful.

Well, you cant change if you wont own up to why you cheated.

what is she not giving you that you need? This is not revenge - there is something you are not getting from your old relationship that you are trying to get with this new one. Either way you will end up dissapointed, because until you figure this out, you will cheat again when you become dissatisfied with this new relationship. Cycle keeps going and going. When you admit that then you can start doing things to change yourself, your relationship ; and become a better person.

 

[seaking420]

Because you put yourself in this situation it tells me that you are not happy at home. Otherwise you would not be looking. You need to address the issues there first and then move on if it can't be resolved

I wasnt happy for about a year and a half, actually it was right about the time when my son was born when we started to have many problems. Thats when I started with the other woman. I did adress the issues with her, and we are trying to work on it, but it makes me wonder if shit will go back to the way it was after the "trying" part is over. One thing is for sure relationships are much harder when you have kids

 

[binö]

lolollollll @ all the do-gooders who have never cheated and are condemming him for cheating.
seriously lol, and esp the ladies. such hypocrites. when a man cheats he's sooo terrible but when a wimmen cheats she does it because she wasn't getting enough love at home, because her man doesn't understand her.
i hate you all

 

[Gymgurl]

But you are not giving it a fair chance being with someone else...That only magnifys the bad...

 

[Bikini Mod]

But you are not giving it a fair chance being with someone else...That only magnifys the bad...

It also waters down reality.

 

[cindylou]

lolollollll @ all the do-gooders who have never cheated and are condemming him for cheating.
seriously lol, and esp the ladies. such hypocrites. when a man cheats he's sooo terrible but when a wimmen cheats she does it because she wasn't getting enough love at home, because her man doesn't understand her.
i hate you all

I've cheated. But I did not have any damn kids!

Besides, you can learn from cheating to become a better person and not do it again, but you must admit that you are a selfish sonofabitch (or just a bitch for the ladies) first before you can move on and be successful in another relationship. You cant just cheat/bail every time you are unhappy. LOL. You'll never be with anyone over 5-10 years.

 

[binö]

I've cheated. But I did not have any damn kids!

Besides, you can learn from cheating to become a better person and not do it again, but you must admit that you are a selfish sonofabitch (or just a bitch for the ladies) first before you can move on and be successful in another relationship. You cant just cheat/bail every time you are unhappy. LOL. You'll never be with anyone over 5-10 years.

damn, that's kinda hott
cheating trick!@#!@#!!@#!@#

 

[Bikini Mod]

Cheating is wrong period, no matter who is doing it.

Lying, cheating, stealing, etc are NOT genderspecific flaws.

Worst part? The cheater doesn't even realize how much they are robbing themselves of... You can not clearly gauge reality if you set up all sorts of fantasy escapes....

 

[cindylou]

damn, that's kinda hott
cheating trick!@#!@#!!@#!@#

LOL I am a better person now.


And I can spot a cheater a mile away because I've done it and I know the signs.

 

[seaking420]

No reason to make everyone miserable just for the sake of going through the motions. You only get one life... this is no dress rehearsal. Any child who grew up in a home with miserable parents who "stayed together for the sake of the children" but whom treated each other with contempt and disrespect will tell you it was NOT good for them.

I completely agree with you

bro, before you get too hard on yourself, understand that people in this thread have just as fucked up situations as you do...they pile on because it momentarily makes them forget their own fucked up situations.
but, with that being said, you got a platefull.
and i predict it's gonna erupt in your face so two things:
a. she's cheating on you
b. fuck that cheating whore post her pics/tits

Thanks alot bro, I know there are going to be haters here that have done some stupid shit themselves, I'll ignore them. Im looking for people who can give some good advice or have been in the same situation as I am in..........and Im sure Im not the only one who has done this.....not that its right.

Sorry no pics though.........she is HOT though!

 

[seaking420]

No excuse at all.

Not making any, just told you why I think it started thats all. But the fact that you cheated too and are trying to put me down says something about you too though. I do have to admit I've learned alot from this whole experience............its not worth the headaches. I've spent countless of hours stressing over this whole situation. What a pain in the ass

 

[binö]

LOL I am a better person now.


And I can spot a cheater a mile away because I've done it and I know the signs.

you know the code, once a cheater always a cheater.
deep down you have the capabillity to drop the panties on a whim to a stranger.
yesyes
admit the thrill of cheating is almost irreplaceable, at least it was for me

 

[Bikini Mod]

The fact that you have physically and emotionally strayed are a wake-up call. Nothing more and nothing less.

The *psuedo* relationship AINT real. End it and go back home to find out what it is within YOU that you lost somewhere along the line. Obviously, you are missing it pretty badly if you went to the lengths you did to TRY to recapture it.

People cheat because of how they feel about themselves when they are with "that other person." period

If you find out what it was you lost, why you lost it and start to consider what you need to do in order to recapture/recreate that, you will be back on the straight and narrow.

You cheating because you are afraid of parenthood? A stretch, but based on what I've seen you post, seems to make sense to me... but I also only know what you post up so I very well could be talking out of my asshole. LOL

 

[cindylou]

Not making any, just told you why I think it started thats all. But the fact that you cheated too and are trying to put me down says something about you too though. I do have to admit I've learned alot from this whole experience............its not worth the headaches. I've spent countless of hours stressing over this whole situation. What a pain in the ass

I'm not putting you down? What are you talking about? I think you are just overly sensitive ; but I did not mean to make it sound like I was putting you down or judging you. Sorry

 

[seaking420]

admit the thrill of cheating is almost irreplaceable, at least it was for me

true and the thrill of being with someone new is also irreplaceable. Thats why sometimes I think you should be in a relationship for no more than 3-4 years because then the excitement fades.

 

[all the whey]

You really cant compare a new relationship to one with kids ; house to run ; bills. Yes you are in honeymoon stage. Apples to oranges.

My advice? End both relationships. Especially with the married woman. Ask youself why you cheated on someone you are supposed to love? Figure that out and make sure you dont do it again in the next relationship.

Why cant people end one relationship before they start another????

Exactly!

Most people can't end a relationship with out starting another because they never were comfortable being alone first!

How old is this guy?

 

[cindylou]

you know the code, once a cheater always a cheater.
deep down you have the capabillity to drop the panties on a whim to a stranger.
yesyes
admit the thrill of cheating is almost irreplaceable, at least it was for me

I actually do think that I am not capable of cheating anymore. It ripped me apart to think I could do something like that and not have the character to end the old relationship first.

but now I spot the signs when I feel unhappy, emotionally is how most women start cheating - you start confiding in other people, then its all downhill from there.

Plus - I'm not sure it was even an "adult" relationship. I've only cheated once, on a boyfriend when I was 20 years old. Never did it again.

 

[Bikini Mod]

true and the thrill of being with someone new is also irreplaceable. Thats why sometimes I think you should be in a relationship for no more than 3-4 years because then the excitement fades.

Sorry but I must disagree with you here.

I have never had ANY notion to cheat, let alone gone through with it.

I am not judging you, only explaining my personal point of view.

If I am committed to one man then for me there can be no other. I would NEVER inflate another man's ego by forsaking MY MAN for him. Not to mention I have a VERY STUBBORN sense of pride. No one can EVER point the finger and hold over me that I cheated...

I was married for 11 years (committed for 13+) to an ASSHOLE of epic proportions who treated me like shit. Sadly, I had no clue how bad it was until I kicked him out. I only had my parents' marriage to compare my own to and by that standard it wasn't all that bad, sad to say. We still had sex near 6 nights/p week at MY URGING because I had and still have a pretty strong drive. In other words, my need to get off was far greater than my need to be respected by my husband... That's sad, I know... but it's true.

I've spent 6 years trying to get my head together.

I can honestly say that in my current and LAST marriage my need to be in a kind and loving relationship that is respectfull is far greater than any biological urge.

 

[binö]

I actually do think that I am not capable of cheating anymore. It ripped me apart to think I could do something like that and not have the character to end the old relationship first.

but now I spot the signs when I feel unhappy, emotionally is how most women start cheating - you start confiding in other people, then its all downhill from there.

are you confiding in me?
let's keep the ball rolling downhill, you know it's bound to sooner or later

 

[seaking420]

You cheating because you are afraid of parenthood? A stretch

Not cheating because Im affraid of parenthood. Our relationship took a BIG hit once we had him. It turned our relationship upside down and we just didnt handle it well.

I'm not putting you down? What are you talking about? I think you are just overly sensitive ; but I did not mean to make it sound like I was putting you down or judging you. Sorry

My bad, I guess I misinterpretted what you wrote............its all good, thanks

 

[all the whey]

true and the thrill of being with someone new is also irreplaceable. Thats why sometimes I think you should be in a relationship for no more than 3-4 years because then the excitement fades.

How old are you bro?

I think you should not be in a relationship until you ar 100% sure you love, respect, trust them, and will never cheat. (this way you can be single all the time and bang them all because java says they are all sluts.)

 

[cindylou]

You've got to make the hard choices

Are you going to stay?

Are you going to leave?

Thats really all you got to do. Either way -the married woman? I doubt she will actually leave anyway. They never do.

 

[all the whey]

You've got to make the hard choices

Are you going to stay?

Are you going to leave?

Thats really all you got to do. Either way -the married woman? I doubt she will actually leave anyway. They never do.

They do if they find out you have more $.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Not cheating because Im affraid of parenthood. Our relationship took a BIG hit once we had him. It turned our relationship upside down and we just didnt handle it well.

OK... but you admitted that you began the affair when your child came into the picture. You had been committed to your S/O for many years so it isn't like you *all of the sudden* got bored with her because of the baby.

The affair brought back CAREFREE - CHILDLESS - NO RESPONSIBILITY SEX - something you can never have with your lady as you now share a child.

And it's easy to *be in lust* with someone who you aren't pissed off at because she put on some weight or is bitchy because she is tired or who constantly rides your ass because she doens't feel like you are holding your end up for example.

Let me know your thoughts...

 

[cindylou]

Sorry but I must disagree with you here.

I have never had ANY notion to cheat, let alone gone through with it.

I am not judging you, only explaining my personal point of view.

If I am committed to one man then for me there can be no other. I would NEVER inflate another man's ego by forsaking MY MAN for him. Not to mention I have a VERY STUBBORN sense of pride. No one can EVER point the finger and hold over me that I cheated...

I was married for 11 years (committed for 13+) to an ASSHOLE of epic proportions who treated me like shit. Sadly, I had no clue how bad it was until I kicked him out. I only had my parents' marriage to compare my own to and by that standard it wasn't all that bad, sad to say. We still had sex near 6 nights/p week at MY URGING because I had and still have a pretty strong drive. In other words, my need to get off was far greater than my need to be respected by my husband... That's sad, I know... but it's true.

I've spent 6 years trying to get my head together.

I can honestly say that in my current and LAST marriage my need to be in a kind and loving relationship that is respectfull is far greater than any biological urge.

This I have noticed in other couples.

If your parents never could stay together (or have a healthy, loving marriage) then you really never have been shown how to love someone else through the tough times like this one he is having.

Or guys who have never grown up with a dad - dont really know how to treat a woman in a marriage because they really have no clue what role a husband plays in loving his wife.

this is not all the time, just some things I've noticed about the people I have been around

 

[Bikini Mod]

This I have noticed in other couples.

If your parents never could stay together (or have a healthy, loving marriage) then you really never have been shown how to love someone else through the tough times like this one he is having.

Or guys who have never grown up with a dad - dont really know how to treat a woman in a marriage because they really have no clue what role a husband plays in loving his wife.

this is not all the time, just some things I've noticed about the people I have been around

This is especially true if the person marries young.

I had a CARBON COPY of my parent's marriage and was so in denial, until the verbal and emotional abuse became physical. Then I kicked him out.

My younger sister was lucky enough to have a close adult female role model who had a HEALTHY marriage and was also older and more established, herself when she got married. Her marriage (13 years now I think) and my first marriage are WORLDS apart....

 

[cindylou]

This is especially true if the person marries young.

I had a CARBON COPY of my parent's marriage and was so in denial, until the verbal and emotional abuse became physical. Then I kicked him out.

My younger sister was lucky enough to have a close adult female role model who had a HEALTHY marriage and was also older and more established, herself when she got married. Her marriage (13 years now I think) and my first marriage are WORLDS apart....

lol I was just thinking that too.

 

[cindylou]

are you confiding in me?
let's keep the ball rolling downhill, you know it's bound to sooner or later

LMAO. Just saw this.

 

[KillahBee]

Ok I've been together with my girl for 11 years, we've been living together for about 6 years, have a 2 year old and have a house together, so you can say that we're technically married. I started to see someone else about 11 months ago and started to fall for her too. I love both women, so basically Im at a crossroad, not sure where to go. I love the person Im "married" to but not sure if Im in-love with her, but I just feel like sometimes im just content in the relationship and not extremely happy, it could be because we've been together for a long time that I feel this way. She's a great person but not sure if she's the "right one" for me. At times I do, other times I dont.
The other woman that Im seeing is also married with 2 kids. She is very unhappy in her marriage and is going to leave him soon. She is extremely fun to be around, makes me laugh and we have alot of things in common, but I wonder if its the "honeymoon" part of the relationship and if it'll change down the road. It started as just fuck freinds, but then emotions got the best of us. So I dont know what to do. I want to be with just one person, I dont want to continue all these lies to the woman Im living with. Its fucked up when Im with one I say to myself she is great and I should be with her, then when Im with the other one I say the same thing.
I wish there was an easy answer to all this. I wish I could see the future with each one and where my life will be 10-20 years down the road with either one.
Another part of me says to forget about both of them and be single and not date anyone serious for awhile, live in a condo so I dont have to work on the fuckin house all the time and Ill have some more time to myself. My head has been spinning for months due to all of this.

I also think that relationships are hard as hell, and an pain in the ass!!!!
I have no one to talk to about this except the good ol' crew of EF.

a) lmfao at some people on here who judge you yet have done MUCH worse in their relationships. That may be the height of insecurity and shame. (not talking about you, cindylou, I know nothing about you)

b) Dude, you've been with that chick for 11 years and don't know if she is "the right one"?!!! Bullshit, you know.

c) As far as #2 chick goes, for starters, she will NOT leave her hubby soon. They all say that. Don't believe it til it happens. Second, she is using you in about 14 different ways, so don't put too much stock into the relationship. Relationships that begin with such volatile circumstances tend to change a whole bunch once those circumstances shift.

d) The real challenge here is YOU. It's clear that, for whatever reason, you can and will take that plunge that many other committed people simply think about (don't lie, you all do). I'm not gonna judge you on that. But, you have to realize who you are and what you are capable of. And ask yourself if it's fair to ANY woman in your life. I stopped seriously dating girls a while ago for a period of time cause I knew I wouldn't be able to not cheat on any of them. Perhaps you should do the same.

 

[all the whey]

This is especially true if the person marries young.
I had a CARBON COPY of my parent's marriage and was so in denial, until the verbal and emotional abuse became physical. Then I kicked him out.

My younger sister was lucky enough to have a close adult female role model who had a HEALTHY marriage and was also older and more established, herself when she got married. Her marriage (13 years now I think) and my first marriage are WORLDS apart....

Why in the hell do you jump on my case, and think I am slamming you when I say this???????????

BTW. You broads will KNOW when I am slamming you.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Why in the hell do you jump on my case, and think I am slamming you when I say this???????????

BTW. You broads will KNOW when I am slamming you.

Ummmm WTF are you talking about?

I have always fully owned my share of responsibility for every adult decision I have made.

 

[Bikini Mod]

a) lmfao at some people on here who judge you yet have done MUCH worse in their relationships. That may be the height of insecurity and shame. (not talking about you, cindylou, I know nothing about you)

b) Dude, you've been with that chick for 11 years and don't know if she is "the right one"?!!! Bullshit, you know.

c) As far as #2 chick goes, for starters, she will NOT leave her hubby soon. They all say that. Don't believe it til it happens. Second, she is using you in about 14 different ways, so don't put too much stock into the relationship. Relationships that begin with such volatile circumstances tend to change a whole bunch once those circumstances shift.

d) The real challenge here is YOU. It's clear that, for whatever reason, you can and will take that plunge that many other committed people simply think about (don't lie, you all do). I'm not gonna judge you on that. But, you have to realize who you are and what you are capable of. And ask yourself if it's fair to ANY woman in your life. I stopped seriously dating girls a while ago for a period of time cause I knew I wouldn't be able to not cheat on any of them. Perhaps you should do the same.

I only have an issue with the bolded part of your statement.

Not EVERYONE thinks of cheating. Is it normal/natural for those thoughts to occur? Yes, of course it is. But I can tell you that not EVERYONE has these thoughts.

 

[all the whey]

Ummmm WTF are you talking about?

I have always fully owned my share of responsibility for every adult decision I have made.

Sorry.

I don't know what I am talking about.

This Stilleto situation we all have here is really getting to me.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Sorry.

I don't know what I am talking about.

This Stilleto situation we all have here is really getting to me.

aaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwweeee come'mere

 

[the_clockwork]

You're a dumb mother fucker.

I concur with this statement

how does her husbands dick taste when you kiss her?

 

[all the whey]

aaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwweeee come'mere

Thanks.

We only have each other to lean on during these troubled times.

 

[Kano]

I concur with this statement

how does her husbands dick taste when you kiss her?

it is fucked up. you can bang her and who knows then bang your wife/girlfirend.. and when it all blows up your wife will think he just had his cock in another women before me and that will hurt her bad. like if she came home and fucked you. but a hour beofre she had somebodys else big cock in there. how would that make you feel knowing that? even worse lets say your wife cheated on you did not use protectiona and got aids and came home and brought it to you.. you think thats cool. thats so selffish on so many levels ita not even funny .. why even risk it for the both of you . its not even worth it

 

[stilleto]

Sorry.

I don't know what I am talking about.

This Stilleto situation we all have here is really getting to me.

 

[vixensghost]

Something else to think about, my daddy always said this line-cracks me up.

"No matter HOW damn hot these women are, some guy, somewhere, is putting up with their shit."

 

[H_T_]

you reap what you sow.

 

[all the whey]

Something else to think about, my daddy always said this line-cracks me up.

"No matter HOW damn hot these women are, some guy, somewhere, is putting up with their shit."

True!!!!!!!!!!

But, I thought it was "No matter HOW damn hot these women are, some guy, somewhere, is sick of her shit."

 

[H_T_]

am uncommon seed gets an uncommon harvest. things will only be right when you choose to make them that way. honesty goes a long way, but it's not for the weak of heart or uninitiated....

 

[KillahBee]

True!!!!!!!!!!

But, I thought it was "No matter HOW damn hot these women are, some guy, somewhere, is sick of her shit."

yes, that's the commonly used phrase.

 

[seaking420]

How old are you bro?

30

You've got to make the hard choices

Are you going to stay?

Are you going to leave?

Thats really all you got to do. Either way -the married woman? I doubt she will actually leave anyway. They never do.

I know I do have a tough choice to make. I actually think she is going to leave him, not because of me either, just because she's unhappy there.

They do if they find out you have more $.

The funny thing is she's married to a millionaire..........so she'll be taken care of after she leaves him anyways.

 

[LuluDeren]

lolollollll @ all the do-gooders who have never cheated and are condemming him for cheating.
seriously lol, and esp the ladies. such hypocrites. when a man cheats he's sooo terrible but when a wimmen cheats she does it because she wasn't getting enough love at home, because her man doesn't understand her.
i hate you all

I've NEVER cheated so I have special dispensation to pass judgement.....AND PASS JUDGEMENT WITH THUNDERBOLTS, I SHALL

 

[slat1]

Sit down with the "wife" and ask her how she feels about the relationship.
You may just be coasting.
She may feel the same too.

 

[seaking420]

OK... but you admitted that you began the affair when your child came into the picture. You had been committed to your S/O for many years so it isn't like you *all of the sudden* got bored with her because of the baby.

The affair brought back CAREFREE - CHILDLESS - NO RESPONSIBILITY SEX - something you can never have with your lady as you now share a child.

And it's easy to *be in lust* with someone who you aren't pissed off at because she put on some weight or is bitchy because she is tired or who constantly rides your ass because she doens't feel like you are holding your end up for example.

Let me know your thoughts...

I agree with you, everything you said was right

a) lmfao at some people on here who judge you yet have done MUCH worse in their relationships. That may be the height of insecurity and shame. (not talking about you, cindylou, I know nothing about you)
b) Dude, you've been with that chick for 11 years and don't know if she is "the right one"?!!! Bullshit, you know.

c) As far as #2 chick goes, for starters, she will NOT leave her hubby soon. They all say that. Don't believe it til it happens. Second, she is using you in about 14 different ways, so don't put too much stock into the relationship. Relationships that begin with such volatile circumstances tend to change a whole bunch once those circumstances shift.

d) The real challenge here is YOU. It's clear that, for whatever reason, you can and will take that plunge that many other committed people simply think about (don't lie, you all do). I'm not gonna judge you on that. But, you have to realize who you are and what you are capable of. And ask yourself if it's fair to ANY woman in your life. I stopped seriously dating girls a while ago for a period of time cause I knew I wouldn't be able to not cheat on any of them. Perhaps you should do the same.

a) I know some people are hypocrites, Im weeding out those repsonses. Im not the only one who has cheated.
b) I thought I knew, the truth is I didnt date much when I was younger because we were together and didnt see other people. So we grew up together and we both changed along the way. But how do you know when someone is right for you because not everyone can meet all your needs or wants.
c) I use to say the same thing until I got into the situation and now Im probably the dumb person that beleives she would leave. I actually do think she will.
d) thats the ultimate question that I have to figure out

 

[seaking420]

it is fucked up. you can bang her and who knows then bang your wife/girlfirend.. and when it all blows up your wife will think he just had his cock in another women before me and that will hurt her bad. like if she came home and fucked you. but a hour beofre she had somebodys else big cock in there. how would that make you feel knowing that? even worse lets say your wife cheated on you did not use protectiona and got aids and came home and brought it to you.. you think thats cool. thats so selffish on so many levels ita not even funny .. why even risk it for the both of you . its not even worth it

Its not worth the risk, I realize that now that Im going through it. I would be devastated if she did that to me, so I know Im a scumbag for doing it. But I cant reverse time I have to just figure out the best thing for me to do, as selfish as that sounds.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Go home man...

The other woman has her own *issues* to deal with in her home. How happy and carefree/responsibility free do you think your relationship will continue to be IF she leaves her husband (she's got two kids that are not yours) and you leave your lady (you have a child that you won't get to be with as much as you'd like).

Can you just imagine? You think your home-life is complicated now?!?! Just fast-forward 6 months and tell me that you won't long to turn the clock back.

Go home to your family and find a way to fix what got broke along the way.

 

[seaking420]

Sit down with the "wife" and ask her how she feels about the relationship.
You may just be coasting.
She may feel the same too.

We did, she felt the same way months ago when we were having our issues but feels like things have been better...........which they have. Coasting is the perfect word, thats what Im trying to figure out if I'm just coasting with her or really enjoy being with her


What I'm thinking is that the choice is, that if I am going to leave my "wife" than it has to be because Im not happy, not for another woman. Thats the way Im going to look at it.

 

[Bikini Mod]

We did, she felt the same way months ago when we were having our issues but feels like things have been better...........which they have. Coasting is the perfect word, thats what Im trying to figure out if I'm just coasting with her or really enjoy being with her


What I'm thinking is that the choice is, that if I am going to leave my "wife" than it has to be because Im not happy, not for another woman. Thats the way Im going to look at it.

That's a good start. Happiness comes from within and works its way outward, not the other way around.

 

[H_T_]

validation...

 

[Tytan]

You`re Fucking up, You know that right?

 

[Spartacus]

it's tough being casanova

 

[Raptorex]

take her out for Chinese food; that always works...

p.s. sorry I didn't read your story

 

[time]

Do good by your child... The gift of life is not worth fucking w/.. No what I sannnn. Your child is 1st... I know I fucked up... But I hold them tight, and regret my mistakessss

 

[5x10]

kids > pussy

 

[mobro]

i'd give "K" to a lot of people here, but it wouldn't even come close. KB, HT, Cindy, Time, Slat......these guys (and gal) are speaking from experience bro. They've been there and you can tell it. I have too. Nothing more I can tell you other then what they have..and I have in the past. I remember your thread back, what, 4 months ago? a lot of these people told these same things. one thing if for sure, if you take a break from your newbie and actually spend that time with your wife and TRY, if it don't work you'll have nothing to regret. if your newbie is gone, she was never there to begin with bro. lot of people here feel your pain....me included. almost down to the exact details! pm anytime bro...anytime

 

[Spartacus]

kids > pussy

pussy=kids

 

[Lestat]

hey bro,

first off, I read your post, and I read the first few responses.

Fuck the haters. People who are delusional or do not realize what real life is all about.

You are doing what you can to stay happy, are you perfect? No. No one is. I haven't met a perfect woman yet either.

You are in a tough spot and I feel for you, I can relate and empathize. I've often wished I had multiple lives to live concurrently and sort of flip between them like TV stations.

I've dated woman seriously that I could see myself married to, but at the same time still enjoyed attention and affection from others. Its tough to know when you have found someone that you could make a go at it with for the rest of your life.

For that reason, I am 30, and I am single by choice. I could have been married, had children, done all that long ago, but I couldn't bear being in the situation you are in. I can barely date more than one woman at a time, let alone carry on semi serious relationships.

I still don't see why people have the gall to judge you or call you a dumb mother fucker. You are not dumb, you are human, and I would guess that anyone trying to judge you is doing so out of spite.

If I was you, I'd cut things off with the 11 year girl OR make the choice to stick it out with her, even if I was tempted to fuck others and not 100% happy 100% of the time (that is UNREALISTIC anyway).

All you can do is what you THINK is best, and if you find yourself in a spot where you want out, there is always that option. You have to figure out if that time has come now.

 

[seaking420]

Alright this is wierd. I havent been on here since I posted this, just came on today to see whats going to here and here is my thread.

I guess I'll give you some feedback of what has happened. Nothing really, still in the same boat. I told the girl(the one im not living with) that I've been seeing that I needed a little time to think. So we are not seeing each other(physically), but we still email/talk. I just cant seem to figure it out yet. My new approach is to try not to feel so pressured and go with the flow and I think the answer will come to me this way. I think I will just know without pressuring myself to come up with an answer.

 

[seaking420]

Fuck the haters. People who are delusional or do not realize what real life is all about.

You are doing what you can to stay happy, are you perfect? No. No one is. I haven't met a perfect woman yet either.

You are in a tough spot and I feel for you, I can relate and empathize. I've often wished I had multiple lives to live concurrently and sort of flip between them like TV stations.

I've dated woman seriously that I could see myself married to, but at the same time still enjoyed attention and affection from others. Its tough to know when you have found someone that you could make a go at it with for the rest of your life.

For that reason, I am 30, and I am single by choice. I could have been married, had children, done all that long ago, but I couldn't bear being in the situation you are in. I can barely date more than one woman at a time, let alone carry on semi serious relationships.

I still don't see why people have the gall to judge you or call you a dumb mother fucker. You are not dumb, you are human, and I would guess that anyone trying to judge you is doing so out of spite.

If I was you, I'd cut things off with the 11 year girl OR make the choice to stick it out with her, even if I was tempted to fuck others and not 100% happy 100% of the time (that is UNREALISTIC anyway).

All you can do is what you THINK is best, and if you find yourself in a spot where you want out, there is always that option. You have to figure out if that time has come now.

Thanks bro, you're always nonjudgemental and have positive things to say. Im not listening to the haters here. I knew before I posted this I was going to get people who are quick to judge, but those people are the biggest hypocrites. I figured Id get some good reponses from some that have been through what I'm going through and what thier thoughts are. These are the people Ill take seriously and weed out the others.

 

[SpyWizard]

You're a dumb mother fucker.

that was my 1st thought..

And my next was, don't be a coward, you are exploring relationships outside of your relationship with a woman that is the mother of your child??

If she knows about the new woman, i'm cool with it.. if not.. man up..

 

[Raptorex]

take the Mom out for Chinese dammit

 

[jnevin]

You're a dumb mother fucker.

I'm afraid I'll have to side with the soccer fag on this one.

 

[biteme]

Thanks bro, you're always nonjudgemental and have positive things to say. Im not listening to the haters here. I knew before I posted this I was going to get people who are quick to judge, but those people are the biggest hypocrites. I figured Id get some good reponses from some that have been through what I'm going through and what thier thoughts are. These are the people Ill take seriously and weed out the others.

Maybe try praying to god. When my problems become too big to handle that's what I do.. It always helps. I know some think it's the placebo effect, but doesn't matter.. It works. Just pour your heart out and be honest. We are all weak and make mistakes.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Alright this is wierd. I havent been on here since I posted this, just came on today to see whats going to here and here is my thread.

I guess I'll give you some feedback of what has happened. Nothing really, still in the same boat. I told the girl(the one im not living with) that I've been seeing that I needed a little time to think. So we are not seeing each other(physically), but we still email/talk. I just cant seem to figure it out yet. My new approach is to try not to feel so pressured and go with the flow and I think the answer will come to me this way. I think I will just know without pressuring myself to come up with an answer.

Now you know I am not judging you. In light of what you have revealed here I would like you to answer (for YOURSELF), just what is it that you think will be gained/better/change for the better with this NEW woman that you can't gain/change/make better with the OLD one?

I dont want to hear about sex because that shit is not real and you know it.

I dont want to hear about how you will have a better life with her and her kids with her ex in the picture (because you know damned well he will be) and most importantly WITHOUT your child.

I don't want to hear about how your situation with your child's mother won't just *be there* - it will be A NIGHTMARE of hurt and disappointment.

So then... really.... if you can name ONE REAL BENEFIT to maintain the other relationship on the sly - or move it to the forefront then I say by all means, continue.

Otherwise - you need to cut all ties. Otherwise you will NEVER gain true clarity. Don't you owe this to yourself before anything else?

Think on that for a moment.

 

[jnevin]

I'm sort of in the same situation as you, BTW. I just haven't done anything with another person. I can't. I know those good days with the one make you wonder about the other, but you're only complicating things and setting yourself up for disaster. The kids are a doozy too.

Shit, better you than me.

 

[mobro]

Maybe try praying to god. When my problems become too big to handle that's what I do.. It always helps. I know some think it's the placebo effect, but doesn't matter.. It works. Just pour your heart out and be honest. We are all weak and make mistakes.

you got guts my man...it takes a man to stand up and say that. I do the same thing. When it gets so bad that you think you have no where to turn....you do. a situation like that will humble you if nothing else. you'll learn things about yourself you never knew, and you'll never be the same person again. for me, that was a good thing. i regret things that i have done, but life has to go on. i have learned a lot from those HARD lessons.

 

[bw1]

bro, before you get too hard on yourself, understand that people in this thread have just as fucked up situations as you do...they pile on because it momentarily makes them forget their own fucked up situations.
but, with that being said, you got a platefull.
and i predict it's gonna erupt in your face so two things:
a. she's cheating on you
b. fuck that cheating whore post her pics/tits

I'll go with "b"