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Watchin Braveheart...

strider364

strider364

New member
What an awesome flick!!!

"I didn't like him..he wasn't right in the head."

"I'm going to pick a fight."

"Fine speech, but now what?"


Kicks almighty ass.
 
Braveheart sucked.

Mel Gibson acting 20 years old was pitiful. He looked like Ted Kennedy dressed up as a member of Whitesnake. They didn't fucking have hairspray in the 13th century!

The battle scenes enraged me. The Scots were successful at Stirling Bridge because they deployed their spearsmen in circular formations, called Schiltrons, which had to be completely destroyed individually, instead of Lines, which once broken, were finished.
Sure enough the movie had lines, stupid bastards.

Then the Irish irregulars were of a sort called Kerns, who were lightly armed and mobile and whose job was to harass the flanks, they had had them attacking head-on in a charge! Total bullshit.

That whole sub-plot with Isabella wasn't worthy of a TV movie.

The guy who got thrown out the window was I guess supposed to be Edward Despenser, the longtime lover of the future Edward II, the weak son. The one who got pissed off by all that faggoty goings-on was Isabella, who got herself a french lover and an invasion force, took over the government and had her son Edward III put on the throne. She killed her husband by having his insides burnt out by sticking red-hot pokers up his ass. True. Despenser and his whole family were all executed.

Wallace was the first nationalist leader in Europe,and I knew a lot about him watching the movie and I fucking hated it.
 
Doktor Bollix said:
Braveheart sucked.

Mel Gibson acting 20 years old was pitiful. He looked like Ted Kennedy dressed up as a member of Whitesnake. They didn't fucking have hairspray in the 13th century!

The battle scenes enraged me. The Scots were successful at Stirling Bridge because they deployed their spearsmen in circular formations, called Schiltrons, which had to be completely destroyed individually, instead of Lines, which once broken, were finished.
Sure enough the movie had lines, stupid bastards.

Then the Irish irregulars were of a sort called Kerns, who were lightly armed and mobile and whose job was to harass the flanks, they had had them attacking head-on in a charge! Total bullshit.

That whole sub-plot with Isabella wasn't worthy of a TV movie.

The guy who got thrown out the window was I guess supposed to be Edward Despenser, the longtime lover of the future Edward II, the weak son. The one who got pissed off by all that faggoty goings-on was Isabella, who got herself a french lover and an invasion force, took over the government and had her son Edward III put on the throne. She killed her husband by having his insides burnt out by sticking red-hot pokers up his ass. True. Despenser and his whole family were all executed.

Wallace was the first nationalist leader in Europe,and I knew a lot about him watching the movie and I fucking hated it.
Click to expand...



Way too much info bro.:rolleyes:
 
Frackal said:
Damn Isabellas kind of a bitch! Typical woman
Click to expand...

For real. She was known as "The she-wolf of France" and was totally bad-ass. The movie had her as a simpering, bambi-eyed, piece of fluff (totally gorgeous though).
 
Doktor Bollix said:
Too many words hurt your little head? Sorry I guess.
Click to expand...

Dude, it's a movie, not the history channel. We are all aware that there are several historical inaccuracies to add to the drama.

There was also never a high general forced to become a gladiator, eventually slaying the emperor. Let me guess, that movie sucked too?
 
No. Gladiator was awesome. I read a lot of history but I don't care about picayune historical innacuracies, a movie is supposed to make you suspend disbelief, and a good one will. It's as simple as that.

A bad one will have you sitting there annoyed wondering if the hair and make up people were the same as on Wayne's World, and if the script was written by a scizophrenic like Braveheart did. I really wanted to like it, but it was too long, too sappy, too stupid. If the movie was good, I wouldn't have noticed all that other shit.

Russell Crowe is a way better actor than that gobshite Mel Gibson, and age appopriate for the role too.
 
Like What Women Want. I guess that's one of your favorites Smeg?

Adam Sandler puts out hit movie after hit movie. So fucking what?

Russell Crowe could completely kick Mel Gibsons ass in a fight. Did you even see Gladiator? Russell Crowe would fuck his old ass up.
 
Doktor Bollix said:
A bad one will have you sitting there annoyed wondering if the hair and make up people were the same as on Wayne's World, and if the script was written by a scizophrenic like Braveheart did. I really wanted to like it, but it was too long, too sappy, too stupid. If the movie was good, I wouldn't have noticed all that other shit.

Russell Crowe is a way better actor than that gobshite Mel Gibson, and age appopriate for the role too.
Click to expand...

Haha!! Funny post. :D

Okay, not everyone liked the movie but I put it as the greatest movie ever along with Shawshank on another thread. I'm not sure what you mean with the hair and makeup. I'll have to try and notice it the next time I watch.

Gibson is a very good actor and puts out entertaining movies. Well at least I like them.:)
 
I'm joking o smegma-breathed one. You don't really think I give a shit do ya?

Mel's best movie was the one that the least people saw. Hamlet.
 
Doktor Bollix said:
Russell Crowe could completely kick Mel Gibsons ass in a fight. Did you even see Gladiator? Russell Crowe would fuck his old ass up.
Click to expand...

WTF?:confused:

And that Ralph Mohler (sp?) could kick any of their asses. What does that have to do with anything?

I had a feeling you'd bring up What a Woman Wants. I never saw it and don't plan to. I was thinking more like Payback. This is a movie that could've sucked but Gibson made it very entertaining with a not so perfect script.
 
Ok Ok. I was just being inflammatory. Braveheart is like a sacred cow. I just felt like being iconoclastic and attacking something.

It's not a bad movie, though I still maintain it's overrated.
 
Most things are overrated.

Excitement tends to pump things up bigger than life. The reality tends to be less than the Image we create for ourselves. Like sex. I think more people enjoy thinking and talking about sex alot more than the actual act. I could be wrong though. LOL.
 
epimetheus said:

I think more people enjoy thinking and talking about sex alot more than the actual act. I could be wrong though. LOL.
Click to expand...

You are wrong there Chief. If you ever get to open a box other than Pandora's you'll find that out.

Sorry, couldn't help it.
 
IMO Braveheart is the greatest "Film" ever made....and I too was aware of the historical innaccuracies but it is a romantically charged script written by a man (Randall Wallace) who wished to show the world the impact of one's will to stand up to oppression. It is quite likely that William Wallace himself did not fight at Stirling in the front lines like it was depicted in the movie but who the fuck cares......one must appreciate what it is and that is a great "film" .......

Doktor Bollix you can write the documentary if you want...;)
 
bigAragorn said:
IMO Braveheart is the greatest "Film" ever made....and I too was aware of the historical innaccuracies but it is a romantically charged script written by a man (Randall Wallace) who wished to show the world the impact of one's will to stand up to oppression. It is quite likely that William Wallace himself did not fight at Stirling in the front lines like it was depicted in the movie but who the fuck cares......one must appreciate what it is and that is a great "film" .......

Doktor Bollix you can write the documentary if you want...;)
Click to expand...

Amen brother. That's basically what i was trying to say. I know it's not history, but what hollywood film is. It's an entertaining movie.
 
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