Update on wife

[chesty]

Well,
I have been praying for intervention from God and it seems that he is hearing my prayers. It finally came out that she was with another guy for a time, and that is why (among my treating so badly she went looking) she was saying I think it is over, I think God would say that too, etc. But, somehow, God told her to come back to a second session of counseling and she agreed. She will tell me that it could take years, months, whatever. She also promised to break it off and asked me to trust her and she will do whatever it takes to make us work.

I believe her in my heart. But my brain says otherwise. The counselor told us to sleep in separate bedrooms to relieve the emotional pressure off of her and to give her space when she needs it. However, she took that to mean that she can just leave on a Friday and return Sunday night from her friends house and expect me to believe her that that is what she did and was not with this guy. The counselor did not mean for her to leave for days on end, she just heard what she wanted to.

Yesterday, we finally got somewhere I believe. She told me she could make it work, but she didn't know if her heart would be there and asked if that is what I want. She is stll making excuses to do what is right. I told her that until I know for a fact that it is over between her and him, I will have doubt about her. I asked her to call him (I don't have the phone number) What if I can't do it? What if I change my mind while telling him? He is going to be upset, what if I can't take that? Well, we have 17 years together, you have a grand total of 6 weeks (for an actual week of time at the most) Give us the chance.

Sure, it could be better with him, unlikely 10 years or even 2 years from now. In fact, you probably won't be him in 6 months. But, whatever the case, I promised you I would be changing everyday and that with Gods help I will be the man you need and desire.

She explained that her brain says work it out, she has told me she can make it work out, but there is a little piece of my heart that says don't cause it is with him. She doesn't know what to do she says. So tonight she is talking to the counselor by herself for the first part. She is supposed to go over her homework where she writes down her ideas of the perfect/ideal husband. Funny how she has procrastenated on that because she has been with her "friend" all weekend. She is also going to tell the counselor about the other guy. She has me nervous about what she will be saying. Sometimes I get the feeling she wants the counselor to tell me she is through, however, she told me she was going to tell the counselor nothing more than what we have been talking about. I think she is hoping the counselor will have pitty on her for the "tough" choice she has to make. That won't happen. She will tell her that she needs to break the ties now, stay at home instead of leaving for days on end.

I believe God is showing her the way back home to me, the kids and a new and happy life.

She is also supposed to do the exercise I was going to do tonight alone with me. She says she isn't, but I don't think she will have a choice.

Well, pray for the next session and the one after that one and on.
Pray for her to committ to the initial 6 months of counseling tonight to work this all out and that her heart will open up again and that when God is ready, we will be whole and one again.

 

[Rex]

Best of luck with it all Chesty. Not too intrude, but how do the kids feel with her leaving for the weekend? I have no parenting experience what so ever, but feel it irresponsible for a mother to just leave for a weekend. I hope it all works out for you. I don't envy your position, but hope that if I ever end up in your situation that the effort you are making is how I'd go at it.

Semper Fi.

 

[WODIN]

Does this mean you get a "Get out of jail free card?" for use later on?

 

[milo hobgoblin]

Thank You Jeebus!!!!!!!

 

[chesty]

Yeah, I think that is what she thinks it means. We always look for excuses to justify our actions.

The kids don't like it at all. They tell me they don't like there mom being away, but then they tell her that they don't mind because they don't want to upset her. I may have been a bit hard on them trying to get them to understand that mom and dad are doing everything we can to stay together and move back in to one room. They have been praying for her as well as I and we have let her know.

We have discussed where we will not talk about this to them, but will let the counselor do so either before or after our session. That way, we do not inadvertantly say the wrong thing.

Well, I got the kids breakfast ready this morning again, found them their socks like she asked and made her breakfast for her. Called to wake her up and she told me thanks for making breakfast. I told her to have a nice day and she told me to have one. First time she has reciprocated in a long time. God is working.

 

[milo hobgoblin]

I bet the make up sex is REALLY good... oh wait your christian. never mind.

 

[gonelifting]

If this ultimately works out, great, but if it does`nt, you can honestly say YOU have given it all you`ve got. It shows that you`re trying. Good luck with it.

 

[chesty]

Thanks. Honestly Christians do it like all the other animals in the world! Sex is fun when it is with your mate.

Tonight is the night I look forward to yet fear. Man what a twisted little knot that makes for.

Get this, I have been cleaning/cooking/washing clothes/dishes/etc. All the things I have been avoiding. Made her breakfast yesterday ( I get up at 4:30am and she gets up at 6:30 or so. So, I make her breakfast for her and put it in the microwave. Called to make sure she is up, told her it was in the microwave and she thanked me! Not one of those, thanks, but you didn't have to lines. I also told her to have a good day and she said it back in a nice and pleasent voice. That was a first in a long time. I know it may be nothing (habbit, etc) but it felt sincere. I keep praying that it is. My friends tell me they think she is just playing with me. I think I know her well enough to know better. I know this much, after God has healed us I will never allow her to be in the position again to stray. I will always keep gas tank for love full!

 

[Mandinka2]

Dump her and i mean that sincerely , she didnt come clean in the first place.

 

[WODIN]

Very cool my man. You've got the patience and depth beyond anyone I know. Again...just damn amazing.

 

[Werd]

If this ultimately works out, great, but if it does`nt, you can honestly say YOU have given it all you`ve got. It shows that you`re trying. Good luck with it.

I know this will sound odd, but SHE is trying too. Chesty admits that he treated her badly for 17 years. I am not blaming Chesty for all of it, they did it to each other. But comments like that will only add fuel to the fire.

The THEY want a relationship then it is about them BOTH and not what HE is doing or SHE is doing... THEY are both trying. They both screwed up in different ways and they need to do different things to "fix it".

Unfortunately that is easier said than done. Chesty needs to try really hard to trust his wife to either make the right decisions or to fuck it up... If she chooses not to be with him ultimately it will not necessarily be because she didn't love him very much, perhaps... but rather, because she has had so much crap heaped on her that she might be afraid that though he says that he wants to change, he may never do it... and that might not be because he doesn't love her very much, it might just be that whatever caused him to be that way in the first place (and NO it was not his wife) may just be stronger than his desire to be with her or his fear that he may end up being without her regardless.

I want you to think about that Chesty.

I am no counselor and I don't know your wife at all, but I was a battered and controlled woman. Sometimes we feel like no matter who says they love us, they don't and we are only marking time until they devastate us again...

I know you never hit your wife so that is the only reason that I am supporting you guys staying together and working out. That, in addition to the fact that you are a REAL MAN and are facing up to your shortcomings and weaknesses.

*hug*

I wish your family the best.

 

[chesty]

Thank you Wodin! It is the girl I showed you in that picture something like 4 years ago.

I can't dump her! She never waivered in her support and love for me when I was bad, I cannot do that to her. I know and she knows what it is like when we are in aggreement with each other and that is our goal: For each one of us to change individually and at the same time changing as a whole!

 

[milo hobgoblin]

Make the best of it Chesty.. all kidding aside.. this may open up some doors for you and your wife sexually.

 

[Mandinka2]

you say you were bad , but exactly how were u so "bad" man? Not talkin or communicatin is somethin we all do from time to time , you say she never waivered - what the fuck do you call it when she was this other guy ? You love your wife - that is clear but that love is clouding your judgement now , she ceased to be your wife when she started boning someone else. That is the ONLY thing that distinguishes the relationship between a man and his woman from friendship. You are making excuses for her.
I'm sure you're a very courageous guy , so find within yourself to have some now.

 

[Werd]

Dump her and i mean that sincerely , she didnt come clean in the first place.

I am really surprized to hear you say that.

 

[gonelifting]

I know this will sound odd, but SHE is trying too. Chesty admits that he treated her badly for 17 years. I am not blaming Chesty for all of it, they did it to each other. But comments like that will only add fuel to the fire.

The THEY want a relationship then it is about them BOTH and not what HE is doing or SHE is doing... THEY are both trying. They both screwed up in different ways and they need to do different things to "fix it".

Unfortunately that is easier said than done. Chesty needs to try really hard to trust his wife to either make the right decisions or to fuck it up... If she chooses not to be with him ultimately it will not necessarily be because she didn't love him very much, perhaps... but rather, because she has had so much crap heaped on her that she might be afraid that though he says that he wants to change, he may never do it... and that might not be because he doesn't love her very much, it might just be that whatever caused him to be that way in the first place (and NO it was not his wife) may just be stronger than his desire to be with her or his fear that he may end up being without her regardless.

I want you to think about that Chesty.

I am no counselor and I don't know your wife at all, but I was a battered and controlled woman. Sometimes we feel like no matter who says they love us, they don't and we are only marking time until they devastate us again...

I know you never hit your wife so that is the only reason that I am supporting you guys staying together and working out. That, in addition to the fact that you are a REAL MAN and are facing up to your shortcomings and weaknesses.

*hug*

I wish your family the best.

I agree with your post. I was just saying that if YOU/one gives their all, that`s all they can do. You cannot "try" for the other person. I`m not saying his wife is`nt/has`nt been trying, but they have to do it on their own either way.

You can only do your part and look back knowing you gave it your all. That will help things, instead of "shoulda, coulda..."

 

[Mandinka2]

I am really surprized to hear you say that.

Exactly why ?
I read your post above - it's incredibly biased - the guy did absolutely nothing different from most men of our generation's fathers - worked , brought home bread and didnt communicate and u are fucking shafting him now. He did not hit his wife and she basically is not willing to make the fucking effort to come clean in the counselling sessions from day 1 , she is hiding this shit and looking for an excuse to continue this affair. You are famous on this board for saying stuff along the lines of "I don't have to be right , I just have to be ok with myself" which is fine by me so long as you come nowhere near me. Your morality has become so skewed that whatever you do is now "ok with me".

 

[big_bad_buff]

Me, being a Christian and understanding the values that go along with trying to live by the book everyday, I just can’t understand this man, I really can’t. it sounds like she doesn’t want to be with you anymore, and is humping some other dude, and now doesn’t know what she wants, she can’t decide if she wants her husband of 17 years, kids, family ect, or some sex partner. First, I can see if your wife cheated on you once, like she was drunk and on a business trip ect and you would take her back, but to actually be having an affair over a long time period is absurd. She should be gone bro. Second, if she’s not seeing what the hell she is doing and that it is wrong, and still not knowing who she wants, wtf man? you want this heathen rising your children?

My advice to you would be to get a divorce. 17 years is 17 years, want to go another 17 with her cheating on you behind your back? Or you having it in the back of your head 24/7? Because I promise you that you will never forget, and you will never trust her ever again, I PROMISE YOU THIS!!! if you guys stay together it will eat you alive. You may tell yourself you trust her, but you really don’t.

My parents were married for 25 and got a divorce, my pig dad got married a year later to some chick he knew for 4 months. Life sucks, don’t stay with someone who is going to make you miserable and stressed the rest of your life.

 

[chesty]

That is the problem with marriage. Most people equate the in love or falling in love experience as the true emotion of love. It is not It is a survival mechanism to help us procreate and continue the species.

True love is a choice. I chose to love someone or not. I chose to love her. She chose to love me up till a few months ago, when she got hooked up with sugar daddy. She truly is in a dilema. She knows what is right, but is too weak right now to make that decision for herself. However, I believe she is planning on telling the counselor tonight all about it, and what we have been discussing. But I also think she is looking for the counselor to be sympathetic with her plight. She won't. She will tell her to cut the ties with this dude immediately. (the wife is looking for someone to make the decision for that she knows is right)

She didn't waiver on e over the years when I was loud and unfeeling towards her. Working, etc is not love. It is a responsibility. True love is giving your wife what she needs.

Whether it is quality time, words of affirmation, physical contact, acts or gifts, etc. Once you find that which fills her up inside in her love bank, you will not go wrong. But you have to be willing to chose to love her that is the key! I choose to love my wife!

 

[Werd]

Exactly why ?
I read your post above - it's incredibly biased - the guy did absolutely nothing different from most men of our generation's fathers - worked , brought home bread and didnt communicate and u are fucking shafting him now. He did not hit his wife and she basically is not willing to make the fucking effort to come clean in the counselling sessions from day 1 , she is hiding this shit and looking for an excuse to continue this affair. You are famous on this board for saying stuff along the lines of "I don't have to be right , I just have to be ok with myself" which is fine by me so long as you come nowhere near me. Your morality has become so skewed that whatever you do is now "ok with me".

You are so wrong it is scary. But who am I to argue?... You are right about everything.

Funny you talk of morals, but a couple that openly has sex with others, takes pics of it and posts it on the internet "are OK by you because they are in a loving relationship", but someone that is totally unnattached and has a healthy adult normal sex life has skewed morals. gotcha.

And for the record I have zero issue with the couples that do stuff like that. Heck, I wish I could be a little less repressed sometimes and enjoy stuff like that, but it just isn't part of my makeup. It isn't for me, but that doesn't me that it IS for me to judge either... That is the difference between you and me. I can accept others who are different, just because I do not necessarily want to live like them doesn't mean that I judge them. Except when it comes to ONE THING - VIOLENCE.

Then I most certainly do have every right to express my disgust.

You are assuming so much about Chesty and his wife. Guess what? I have had extensive conversations with Chesty over the past 3 years and even though he admits to doing many of the things that have been done to me (excluding the violence) I STILL don't judge him.... but support him because he admits to his faults and accepts blame for his role. Something that VERY FEW MEN WILL EVER DO...

Chesty is a man. I can't say the same about others.... but what do I care. I am not involved with those "types" anymore anyway. Now I choose who I surround myself with and who I allow to influence me much more carefully = therapy does wonders!

 

[milo hobgoblin]

I live by the "good book" too..

Hustler.

 

[chesty]

Thanks! I have such a long road to travel and with God there I will be traveling it with her. I have made many a mistake in the past, for much the same reasons she had. Her love tank was just much larger than mine, so mine drained more quickly.

Now we are both on fumes and need a refill from each other. Tonight I can post excellent news when I get back from the counselor!

 

[TC2]

Exactly why ?
I read your post above - it's incredibly biased - the guy did absolutely nothing different from most men of our generation's fathers - worked , brought home bread and didnt communicate and u are fucking shafting him now. He did not hit his wife and she basically is not willing to make the fucking effort to come clean in the counselling sessions from day 1 , she is hiding this shit and looking for an excuse to continue this affair. You are famous on this board for saying stuff along the lines of "I don't have to be right , I just have to be ok with myself" which is fine by me so long as you come nowhere near me. Your morality has become so skewed that whatever you do is now "ok with me".

I keep hearing the same thing. "he treated his wife like shit".

If that is what you guys call being "treated like shit" then you are in for a huge suprise.

Maybe he should've been more open and sensitive, but that's NOT treating someone like shit!!

 

[Werd]

I keep hearing the same thing. "he treated his wife like shit".

If that is what you guys call being "treated like shit" then you are in for a huge suprise.

Maybe he should've been more open and sensitive, but that's NOT treating someone like shit!!

Correction. It most certainly is. A man doesn't need to beat his wife in order to make her feel like nothing. Just as a woman doesn't need to cheat on her husband to make him feel unloved.

 

[TC2]

"Whether it is quality time, words of affirmation, physical contact, acts or gifts, etc. Once you find that which fills her up inside in her love bank, you will not go wrong. But you have to be willing to chose to love her that is the key! I choose to love my wife!"

Fuck man, I used to think the same thing to.

But it's simply not true, people can use you up and just turn their back on you like you're nothing.

I do hope the best for you though.

 

[Mandinka2]

You are so wrong it is scary. But who am I to argue?... You are right about everything.

there's that ol "right and wrong mean nothin 2 me" attitude.

Funny you talk of morals, but a couple that openly has sex with others, takes pics of it and posts it on the internet "are OK by you because they are in a loving relationship", but someone that is totally unnattached and has a healthy adult normal sex life has skewed morals. gotcha.

Pt.1 - that is way off fucking topic
Pt.2 - they lived with their kid
Pt.3 - Not one of them was hurt , they all seem to love and revel in it.
Pt.4 - Draggin them into this convo is beneath u , and biting some guy's dick while ur in France while ur 4 kids are back home in the USA seems normal to you - ok then .

And for the record I have zero issue with the couples that do stuff like that. Heck, I wish I could be a little less repressed sometimes and enjoy stuff like that, but it just isn't part of my makeup. It isn't for me, but that doesn't me that it IS for me to judge either...

Eh u just contradicted yourself by mentioning it in the paragraph concerned with morals and then saying it was ok. Welcome to your world.

That is the difference between you and me. I can accept others who are different, just because I do not necessarily want to live like them doesn't mean that I judge them. Except when it comes to ONE THING - VIOLENCE.

Someone get me a shovel cos the bullshit is really piling high here - you continue to parade your justification for your past in front of anyone who will give you their ear and use it repeatedly. Stop ranting.

Then I most certainly do have every right to express my disgust.

You are assuming so much about Chesty and his wife. Guess what? I have had extensive conversations with Chesty over the past 3 years and even though he admits to doing many of the things that have been done to me (excluding the violence) I STILL don't judge him.... but support him because he admits to his faults and accepts blame for his role. Something that VERY FEW MEN WILL EVER DO...

Well fucking horray for you - but he still doesnt post what he did that was so wrong , what are we expected to do ? His posts are full of remorse and regreat and STILL you pile the shit high on his corpse , you do judge him and u let his wife off VERY EASILY , not one word of condemnation , no surprise , she has a pussy and after 3 years of your posts here , we all know just how far that goes with you. Get over it , if the tables were turned you'd be burning him down on the cross.

Chesty is a man. I can't say the same about others.... but what do I care. I am not involved with those "types" anymore anyway. Now I choose who I surround myself with and who I allow to influence me much more carefully = therapy does wonders!

Gald to hear that things are gettin better for you honestly , I have personally helped u as u are aware but if I were seeking sane objective advice you would be far from my first port of call.

 

[chesty]

There are all kinds of treating bad someone you love. Our biggest problems came from miscommunication. The way we learned to speak from our parents. Wife from her mom, I from my dad. Through God we will work this out.

 

[Werd]

She didn't waiver on e over the years when I was loud and unfeeling towards her. Working, etc is not love. It is a responsibility. True love is giving your wife what she needs.

Whether it is quality time, words of affirmation, physical contact, acts or gifts, etc. Once you find that which fills her up inside in her love bank, you will not go wrong. But you have to be willing to chose to love her that is the key! I choose to love my wife!

You are a good man Chesty. I really hope that she can give the two of you just one more chance. The road will be long and it will be difficult, but I truly believe that you believe everything you are saying and not just saying what you THINK is "right".

 

[TC2]

There are all kinds of treating bad someone you love. Our biggest problems came from miscommunication. The way we learned to speak from our parents. Wife from her mom, I from my dad. Through God we will work this out.

I'm trying not to let the atheist in me come out.

But please use your brains and do not leave shit up to "GOD".

You and her are in control of your own lives, NOONE ELSE.

 

[Werd]

there's that ol "right and wrong mean nothin 2 me" attitude.


Pt.1 - that is way off fucking topic
Pt.2 - they lived with their kid
Pt.3 - Not one of them was hurt , they all seem to love and revel in it.
Pt.4 - Draggin them into this convo is beneath u , and biting some guy's dick while ur in France while ur 4 kids are back home in the USA seems normal to you - ok then .


Eh u just contradicted yourself by mentioning it in the paragraph concerned with morals and then saying it was ok. Welcome to your world.


Someone get me a shovel cos the bullshit is really piling high here - you continue to parade your justification for your past in front of anyone who will give you their ear and use it repeatedly. Stop ranting.


Well fucking horray for you - but he still doesnt post what he did that was so wrong , what are we expected to do ? His posts are full of remorse and regreat and STILL you pile the shit high on his corpse , you do judge him and u let his wife off VERY EASILY , not one word of condemnation , no surprise , she has a pussy and after 3 years of your posts here , we all know just how far that goes with you. Get over it , if the tables were turned you'd be burning him down on the cross.


Gald to hear that things are gettin better for you honestly , I have personally helped u as u are aware but if I were seeking sane objective advice you would be far from my first port of call.

You know what I find REALLY odd? That Chesty and I don't seem to have a quarrel. Yet you and I do.

It must be so difficult living in your ivory tower. Do a little research on battered women's syndrome, then get back to me. Just because you personally are unaware of my personal history (you still think that I have a hairy ass and 4" clit and turned tricks... ok, whatever) only remember whatever it is that you choose to remember and turn it about however you feel will fit with your arguement of the moment. Bully for you....

I feel badly for you. You are such a good person but you are too freaking stubborn to realize it.

It's all good.

See, funny how my counselor keeps telling me how I DID EVERYTHING RIGHT (they always have) yet all the people who are into the proliferation of violence can do nothing but seem to call me crazy or attention whore or whatever else.... Until you have been beaten unconscious by someone that you were supposed to be able to trust and who was supposed to have loved you, or until you have been molested or raped by someone that you were supposed to have been able to trust and who was supposed to have loved you, you can say nothing to me that I haven't heard from anyone else who doesnt't "get it". Just go about hanging with those that think all women are whores and it is acceptable to beat a man within an inch of his life because he said something about you that wasn't true. I wonder how many people I could have treated in a likewise fashion had I had the physical prowess and was so incline?

Again, I wish you only happiness in all aspects of life - no sarcasm. Just positive energy.

 

[TC2]

Correction. It most certainly is. A man doesn't need to beat his wife in order to make her feel like nothing. Just as a woman doesn't need to cheat on her husband to make him feel unloved.

Do me a favor and write down what the "perfect" man is.

One of womens problems is that nothing is ever or will be good enough.

You can treat someone like a princess, and eventually she will find some minute, obscure little flaw and dwell on it untill she finds the next one.

 

[Werd]

There are all kinds of treating bad someone you love. Our biggest problems came from miscommunication. The way That we learned to speak from our parents. Wife from her mom, I from my dad.

WERD

 

[rpol]

Just keep following your heart bro and keep doing whats right even when it seems to suck , we create the world we live in by our actions. I wish you two the best of luck and will continue to keep praying for you Bro.

 

[Werd]

Do me a favor and write down what the "perfect" man is.

One of womens problems is that nothing is ever or will be good enough.

You can treat someone like a princess, and eventually she will find some minute, obscure little flaw and dwell on it untill she finds the next one.

There is no "perfect" man.

I don't even ask to be loved by a man. I only want kindness.

I have never left one man for another. NEVER. And this does not only apply to me, it applies to many other females.

 

[chesty]

I used my brains for 17 years it has got me no where. I left God out of the equation because I felt he used me. Now, this has been my wake up call. I have brought God back into my life and I will not let him out again. Had I had in it the last 17 years I would not be facing the most trying and difficult times ever. The thought of losing the one that you love with your soul.


Funny you should mention writing down what the perfect man/husband is. That is the wifes homework. Then the counselor will go over it with her to show her what is realistic and what isn't. That was always my hang up. She would read these romance novels and have it in her head (at least to me) that this is what love is all about. There was now way I could provide that to her. To me it was way unrealistic.

The doubt part I get is what happens tonight? She is going to see the counselor first or after our exerecise to tell her about the other dude and according to just what we have been discussing. I can't help to think in the back of my mind she is going to tell the counselor that she don't want to keep going or try. But I have to have faith that she will not do that. She doesn't act like that, doesn't say that. I asked her if I should be worried and that is when she said she was just going to talk about what we have been.

I am going to try to talk to the counselor here shortly.

She has been really pleasant to me on the phone today. Told me to have a nice day, thanks for breakfast, etc. That has me worried. She sounded like she was in a good mood. I asked politely and she said it was not a good mood, but not a bad mood either. Good news I guess.

She also says she has been having problems sleeping the last few weeks (go figure) having these evil (can't remember the word she used) dreams. Sounds like guilt to me over what she has done. In a way I feel for her. But she has to live with that memory as much as I do. But we start fresh and I think I am just looking for clues where there is none.

She has said she do all that can be done to make us work, told me not a problem to make it work, brains tell her to make it work. Just that one small piece of her heart that is gumming up the works. I pray God will take that out this morning.

 

[Mandinka2]

You know what I find REALLY odd? That Chesty and I don't seem to have a quarrel. Yet you and I do.

yeh cos the poor guy is eating shit from his wife and still sticking by her - well im fucked im gonna say "Enjoy ur meal". I'd say the same if it was the other way around. I call you on every point and you respond like this , way to go you coward.

It must be so difficult living in your ivory tower. Do a little research on battered women's syndrome, then get back to me. Just because you personally are unaware of my personal history (you still think that I have a hairy ass and 4" clit and turned tricks... ok, whatever) only remember whatever it is that you choose to remember and turn it about however you feel will fit with your arguement of the moment. Bully for you....

How the fuck do you know what I think? I know why those posts were made remember , I knew about the scam and why and how it was pulled BEFORE you told me. And that's another thing - you're profession of "I could never tell a lie" when you deliberately tried to skew things to deceive people. Battered women's syndrome , so when a guy kicks the shit out of a kid and the kid doesnt use that as an excuse for every nasty thing they do for the rest of his life it ain't a syndrome ? Listen lady join the real world sometime soon.

I feel badly for you. You are such a good person but you are too freaking stubborn to realize it.

It's all good.

I suspect you are in a minority of one in most aspects on this board. I have read many of chesty's posts - its' so obvious that the guy isnt a liar , a cheater etc., and yet he's just takin the kickin right now because he's afraid to walk away from a shitty situation , he is the one getting abused and it's only gonna get worse - of course a man getting abused by a woman is something u can't quite seem to get your head around huh?

See, funny how my counselor keeps telling me how I DID EVERYTHING RIGHT (they always have) yet all the people who are into the proliferation of violence can do nothing but seem to call me crazy or attention whore or whatever else.... Until you have been beaten unconscious by someone that you were supposed to be able to trust and who was supposed to have loved you, or until you have been molested or raped by someone that you were supposed to have been able to trust and who was supposed to have loved you, you can say nothing to me that I haven't heard from anyone else who doesnt't "get it". Just go about hanging with those that think all women are whores and it is acceptable to beat a man within an inch of his life because he said something about you that wasn't true. I wonder how many people I could have treated in a likewise fashion had I had the physical prowess and was so incline?

Again, I wish you only happiness in all aspects of life - no sarcasm. Just positive energy.

I don't think that all women are whores but i do not respect those who do and I URGE men everywhere not to have anything to do with those who are. Did everything right , how about the web deception , the going to France , the sexual abuse of that man who was himself physically abused by his mother ? Oh yeh.... u did everything right.
Just some thing to think about before ur next session.

 

[chesty]

An interesting set of things she has said.

Sunday night I said she was pretty. She told me I shouldn't say it yet. To give her time to see that I really mean it so that it is real to her. POsitive

Last night I asked her to help me not to go backwards and slip. She told me if you do it will just put you further from me. (sorta positive)

And of course what I have written above.

She will refer to us as having lots of work to do that will take a long time, positive and such. And then she will get all messed up after spending time with her "friend"

Talk about a rollorcoaster ride!

 

[Werd]

yeh cos the poor guy is eating shit from his wife and still sticking by her - well im fucked im gonna say "Enjoy ur meal". I'd say the same if it was the other way around. I call you on every point and you respond like this , way to go you coward.


How the fuck do you know what I think? I know why those posts were made remember , I knew about the scam and why and how it was pulled BEFORE you told me. And that's another thing - you're profession of "I could never tell a lie" when you deliberately tried to skew things to deceive people. Battered women's syndrome , so when a guy kicks the shit out of a kid and the kid doesnt use that as an excuse for every nasty thing they do for the rest of his life it ain't a syndrome ? Listen lady join the real world sometime soon.


I suspect you are in a minority of one in most aspects on this board. I have read many of chesty's posts - its' so obvious that the guy isnt a liar , a cheater etc., and yet he's just takin the kickin right now because he's afraid to walk away from a shitty situation , he is the one getting abused and it's only gonna get worse - of course a man getting abused by a woman is something u can't quite seem to get your head around huh?


I don't think that all women are whores but i do not respect those who do and I URGE men everywhere not to have anything to do with those who are. Did everything right , how about the web deception , the going to France , the sexual abuse of that man who was himself physically abused by his mother ? Oh yeh.... u did everything right.
Just some thing to think about before ur next session.

The web deception was not my idea thought I did go along with it. Why don't you ask the guru who hatched the plan then bailed when it backfired?

The sex abuse guy - dude was a pathological liar. My bad. Very little if anything the guy told me had any truth. Again, I believed yet another liar. But I am learning to get over it, yet again.

Again, you act as if you know something that everybody else doesn't. My family and two mental health professionals totally supported me and STILL DO. Oddly enough, the mental health professionals (as do the courts and other watching my ex closely) understand and recognize EXACTLY what I did and why I did it. I sacrificed my children because I truly believed it was the only way to protect them... *newsflash* I WAS RIGHT. Just because I stopped filling you in on all the details (because I waiting for all of the preliminaries to be completed) does not mean that things are the way YOU THINK they are.

You have no idea what you are talking about. But I still only wish you well. I have never lied to anyone. EVER.

Everyone on this board knows EXACTLY WHO I AM (BIG FUCKING SURPIZE!)... I am only hiding from one psycho bastard that uses a particular string of characters to find me and hurt my children. When this is all over FOR REAL - and my children and I are someplace far away, safe from anyone who could ever hurt them again - I will gladly post up every little detail... Until then I don't have to prove jackshit to anyone. THREE JUDGES have believed me - a social worker AND a several shrinks have all believed me. I guess it must be pretty special that you (and a select few others that THINK they know me) can see shit that all of these trained professionals (not to mention MY FAMILY who has never abandoned or hurt me) can not.

All this I will have accomlished WITH the blessing of the law and WITHOUT "rounding up some good ole boys and giving some worthless asshole a beat-down"...

Just a little something for YOU to think about....

And yet, I still only wish you well.

 

[Werd]

An interesting set of things she has said.

Sunday night I said she was pretty. She told me I shouldn't say it yet. To give her time to see that I really mean it so that it is real to her. POsitive

Last night I asked her to help me not to go backwards and slip. She told me if you do it will just put you further from me. (sorta positive)

And of course what I have written above.

She will refer to us as having lots of work to do that will take a long time, positive and such. And then she will get all messed up after spending time with her "friend"

Talk about a rollorcoaster ride!

No one ever said it would be easy. I think she will come to realize on her own that "her friends" aren't REALLY her friends after all.

Give it time, Chesty....

 

[GoldenDelicious]

chesty i cant really express my admiration for what you are doing (because its 2am and im about to snooze) but you sound very deserving. i sincerely hope it works out (i was going to say 'i hope you pull it off' but thats a bit cynical )

 

[Mandinka2]

Ok Fine Fuck It , I'll Come Out With It

The web deception was not my idea thought I did go along with it. Why don't you ask the guru who hatched the plan then bailed when it backfired?

Nice abdication of responsibility there - you did a lot more than go along with it , you lied about it in court - you were a willing participant. The court case concerned YOU - the others were only trying to help you - do not pawn it off as if you were just a helpless back seat passenger.

The sex abuse guy - dude was a pathological liar. My bad. Very little if anything the guy told me had any truth. Again, I believed yet another liar. But I am learning to get over it, yet again.

Then he's no different from you , thread after thread have I read from you like "Ladies have you ever hurt a guy cos I couldnt" , how many times have members read that you have never cheated. Fuck , I even asked you myself on MSN if you cheated on your husband and you told me you didnt. That is a brazen lie and you know it. You fucked your photographer and have admitted the same to quite a few members. All this stuff about your crazy paranoid ex , Chesty if you're out there man you really need to hear this and how he put a camera on you - can u imagine how it must feel like to live with a woman who you suspect is fucking someone behind your back. KNowing full well that she has all the weight of the law behind her. And still you lie about this. I'm sick and tired of hearing how "innocent" you are and how you've been "wronged" and dodging these threads because of some insane loyatly I might have felt towards you because we spoke in private. And the hilarious thing is there's plenty more "truth" on this individual. So today when I open this thread and hear you saying how Chesty knows how badly he fucked up and how much he is to blame for his wife's fucking another man (which is what it is bro) then my blood just went to boil over mode.

Again, you act as if you know something that everybody else doesn't. My family and two mental health professionals totally supported me and STILL DO. Oddly enough, the mental health professionals (as do the courts and other watching my ex closely) understand and recognize EXACTLY what I did and why I did it. I sacrificed my children because I truly believed it was the only way to protect them... *newsflash* I WAS RIGHT. Just because I stopped filling you in on all the details (because I waiting for all of the preliminaries to be completed) does not mean that things are the way YOU THINK they are.

Mental health professionals? Lady I've got thousands of posts over more than 3 years representing your thoughts right here , I also have shitloads of comments and analysis by objective and unbiased individuals who did everything they could to help you - Warik for one. What have you got ? 12 hours of over-expensive counselling - not hard to fool em for that long lady. You DIDNT fill me on the details , ONLY those which portrayed you in a positive light (well what a fucking surprise!)

You have no idea what you are talking about. But I still only wish you well. I have never lied to anyone. EVER.

SHow this post and thread to those mental health pros you talk about - then get back to us.

Everyone on this board knows EXACTLY WHO I AM (BIG FUCKING SURPIZE!)... I am only hiding from one psycho bastard that uses a particular string of characters to find me and hurt my children. When this is all over FOR REAL - and my children and I are someplace far away, safe from anyone who could ever hurt them again - I will gladly post up every little detail... Until then I don't have to prove jackshit to anyone. THREE JUDGES have believed me - a social worker AND a several shrinks have all believed me. I guess it must be pretty special that you (and a select few others that THINK they know me) can see shit that all of these trained professionals (not to mention MY FAMILY who has never abandoned or hurt me) can not.

I remember when u first gave me karma saying who this alter was - and how it was this big secret and all - how long did that last - your posts are so recognizable by the madness behind them - the all-consuming self-centredness played off as concern for your children. Three judges believed you - whoop-dee-do - you fooled em lady . Your family? - the same ones you claim abused you or maybe that's another family you were hiding somewhere else....

All this I will have accomlished WITH the blessing of the law and WITHOUT "rounding up some good ole boys and giving some worthless asshole a beat-down"...

Just a little something for YOU to think about....

And yet, I still only wish you well.

I cannot imagine the pain and misery you have inflicted upon your ex - the fear of not only being cuckolded by his wife but of losing his children and home. You speak about violence - you make me wretch.
Well fuck that for a game of soldiers Chesty - move the fuck on outta this one - point is there are good women out there - worth treasuring and loving - thing is you don't have one and every second of your life you spend with this one is another moment you coulda had with one FAR better. Hope I opened your and some of the boards eyes.

 

[Mandinka2]

It was because you continued to deny something to me on MSN that I knew to be true that I stopped IMing you for your info.

 

[Werd]

It was because you continued to deny something to me on MSN that I knew to be true that I stopped IMing you for your info.

What would that be? Listen... I haven't even read this. I have to work now (haven't done shit all day). Email me whatever it is that you think that I am "continuing to deny" and we will have at it.

I haven't IM'd you because I was waiting to have concrete results and not keeping whining to you about how I am waiting for this or that.... I take care of my own shit and will let you know.

Seriously, I have to work now.

 

[Alpine]

Isn't this the same situation that was posted a couple days ago where you said you kissed her and could "smell crotch"???????

I haven't followed this story much or read all the replies, but from what I have read....

Chesty - Have some respect for yourself......ditch the bitch!

 

[chesty]

Yes, it is the same person. But I am not willing to give up on 17 years of good and bad times yet. We all stumble along the way and had I been doing my part to the fullest instead of being selfish, this most likely would not have happened. It takes to to Tango.

We just have to learn to dance better together.

 

[Werd]

Yes, it is the same person. But I am not willing to give up on 17 years of good and bad times yet. We all stumble along the way and had I been doing my part to the fullest instead of being selfish, this most likely would not have happened. It takes to to Tango.

We just have to learn to dance better together.

WERD


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