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lilperronis
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1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Calvinball, see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially in thin, narrow isles.
10. Walk up to an employee and say in an official tone,"I think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say,"Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. and see if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear,"Who BUYS this junk, anyway?"
15. Repeat number 14 in the jewelry department.
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive".
17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say,"Wow. Magic!"
20. Put M&M's on layaway.
21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from other aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon .
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman! Come Robin- to the Batcave!"
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators until they spell "hello" upside down.
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,"Why don't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling,"Red Rover!"
31. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if they have any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield of G.I. Joe vs. the X-men.
33. Take bets on the battle described above.
34. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible".
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Say things like,"Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: Marco Polo.
43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, Pillows in the Pet Food aisle, etc.
44. "Re-alphabitize" the CD's in Electronics.
45. In the Auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
48. When announcements come over the loud speaker, assume a fetal position and scream, "No,no! It's those voices again!"
49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
51.Take rubber snakes from the toy department and hide them in strategic places like--old lady shoes, boots, inside coolers, in the deep pockets of large coats, etc...
52.Buy $500.00 worth of merchandise and pay in all pennies. Do this on the day after Thanksgiving.
53.Stand with the Wal-Mart greeter and tell the shoppers Wal-Mart stinks and go to K-Mart.
54.Or stand with the Wal-Mart greeter and hand out K-Mart fliers.
55.Another way to purchase M&M's. Use your credit card. After she rings up the sale, tell her you changed your mind and you want to pay by check. When she asks for your driver's license, tell her you have to run out to your car and get it.
56.For Summer Fun--Try on bathing suit;then go to area that has plastic wading pools. Lounge around in pool. Offer to do swan dive anytime a passerby stops.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Calvinball, see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially in thin, narrow isles.
10. Walk up to an employee and say in an official tone,"I think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say,"Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. and see if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear,"Who BUYS this junk, anyway?"
15. Repeat number 14 in the jewelry department.
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive".
17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say,"Wow. Magic!"
20. Put M&M's on layaway.
21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from other aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon .
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman! Come Robin- to the Batcave!"
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators until they spell "hello" upside down.
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,"Why don't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling,"Red Rover!"
31. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if they have any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield of G.I. Joe vs. the X-men.
33. Take bets on the battle described above.
34. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible".
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Say things like,"Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: Marco Polo.
43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, Pillows in the Pet Food aisle, etc.
44. "Re-alphabitize" the CD's in Electronics.
45. In the Auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
48. When announcements come over the loud speaker, assume a fetal position and scream, "No,no! It's those voices again!"
49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
51.Take rubber snakes from the toy department and hide them in strategic places like--old lady shoes, boots, inside coolers, in the deep pockets of large coats, etc...
52.Buy $500.00 worth of merchandise and pay in all pennies. Do this on the day after Thanksgiving.
53.Stand with the Wal-Mart greeter and tell the shoppers Wal-Mart stinks and go to K-Mart.
54.Or stand with the Wal-Mart greeter and hand out K-Mart fliers.
55.Another way to purchase M&M's. Use your credit card. After she rings up the sale, tell her you changed your mind and you want to pay by check. When she asks for your driver's license, tell her you have to run out to your car and get it.
56.For Summer Fun--Try on bathing suit;then go to area that has plastic wading pools. Lounge around in pool. Offer to do swan dive anytime a passerby stops.
