This cocksuckin bartender

[magman1]

Out in Old City in Philly last night, and I wanted a vodka tonic but recently learned how much sugar is in tonic, so I started by asking the bartender if he had diet tonic....I guess he thought this is the drink I wanted, so he starts laughing and being loud and shit making this a big fuckin ordeal and even calls over another bartender and tells him what I ordered! Now Im starting to feel the butt of someones joke and not happy and some clown behind me is laughing.....I say, "You know what pussy, gimme a 151 and redbull and a shot of it on the side!" I'm growing so mature at my age of almost 24....two years ago I would have slammed his fuckin head on the bar

 

[PICK3]

lol! you fucking pussy ... diet tonic ... lololololol!

 

[stilleto]

something isn't gelling.

 

[PICK3]

something isn't gelling.

something like too much sugar in tonic water?

 

[magman1]

something isn't gelling.

yeah man, if you have 10-15 drinks in an evening, that's like 1500 calories that aren't sitting in your stomach....what's not jelling?

 

[stilleto]

yeah man, if you have 10-15 drinks in an evening, that's like 1500 calories that aren't sitting in your stomach....what's not jelling?

the bartender's reaction to you asking if they have diet tonic.

that's not an unusual question. he'd either say "yup, we got it", or maybe he'd chuckle and say 'diet tonic?? no, we don't have that', but the reaction you said he gave doesn't seem right.

what were you wearing?

 

[UA_Iron]

I think you dont look intimidating enough.

 

[PICK3]

After he made you a punk you probably tipped the fuck out of him.

 

[stilleto]

10-15 drinks per night?

do you have a criminal record?

 

[magman1]

Yeah, it was a pretty popular club/lounge so I figure'd it wasn't that odd a question.....I'm actually a pretty big guy but he knew I wasn't gonna do anything....I think he did that b/c I had the metro look going, Dolce Gabanna black button up shirt, blow out, blah blah blah and this just sorta reinforced the stereotype

 

[stilleto]

yeah, it was definately the blow out.

 

[PICK3]

If hair style was the culprit, shouldn't KB be consulted?

 

[Cutiebaby]

lol

 

[wootoom]

diet tonic omg

 

[Spartacus]

woots ava rocks

 

[alien amp pharm]

Are you trying to watch your girly figure?

 

[wootoom]

woots ava rocks

thanks bro

 

[H_T_]

lol @ 24 being mature. do you puff up when asked for id and point out that you're 3 whole years past the legal age?

 

[Spartacus]

gem of a thread

 

[Bikini Mod]

Vodka tonics are my usual posion of choice. I tried the diet tonic and that shit is straight up nasty.

I've even asked for vodka w/diet cranberry. It is unbelievable how few places carry diet cranberry. So many calories could be saved while getting zooted just as efficiently.

 

[chewyxrage]

Yeah no shit, places need to learn that people don't want all that damn sugar.

I suggested to the liquor store manager that I frequent that he should pick up some diet 7-up (my girl mixes vodka w/ it) and he looked at me like I was being rediculous.

 

[crew9]

People should learn that the alcohol in their drink is far worse for their physique then the sugar they're do desperately trying to avoid.

 

[chewyxrage]

People should learn that the alcohol in their drink is far worse for their physique then the sugar they're do desperately trying to avoid.

lol

ya think?

But sugar isn't as fun as booze. And I'd like to minimize any negative effects as much as possible. You don't drink?

 

[Bikini Mod]

People should learn that the alcohol in their drink is far worse for their physique then the sugar they're do desperately trying to avoid.

Trust me when I tell you that I KNOW how bad the alcohol is for my body - not merely my physique. But WTF if I want to tie one on, then I may as well do it for less calories. LOL

 

[Spartacus]

back when I bartended I would have just told him "yeah"
and made his vodka-tonic with regular tonic
I don't have time for this shit

 

[crew9]

lol

ya think?

But sugar isn't as fun as booze. And I'd like to minimize any negative effects as much as possible. You don't drink?

This past year I've drastically cut down my drinking. Probably been drunk only 5-6 times the entire year ( that was my weekly average last year).
I look at the whole diet with alcohol thing the same way I look at the diet and mcdonalds. What's the point? Either way it ain't good for you so why not go the tastier route.

On a side note if you're out and drinking diet and whatever at the bar I better not see your ass at White Castle's/La Bamba's afterwards haha.

 

[Spartacus]

back when I bartended I would have just told him "yeah"
and made his vodka-tonic with regular tonic
I don't have time for this shit

probably would have short poured him on the vodka part too
fuckin' lightweight

 

[Spartacus]

back when I worked a club in cincinnati some whiner complained he couldn't taste the vodka in him screwdriver
had already drink over half the bitch
so I ripped off the pour spout to the well vodka and filled him up with vodka
probably about 6 ounces of vodka
there's your damn martini little bitch

 

[string_bean00]

back when I worked a club in cincinnati some whiner complained he couldn't taste the vodka in him screwdriver
had already drink over half the bitch
so I ripped off the pour spout to the well vodka and filled him up with vodka
probably about 6 ounces of vodka
there's your damn martini little bitch

lol best bartender ever



at bars I only order teh well liquours usually, fuck the name brand shit

 

[wootoom]

how do u know he sucks cock?

 

[Lestat]

get a vodka and soda water next time, almost as good as tonic, no calories

 

[string_bean00]

or just take your vodka in a shot, like a real fuckin man

 

[jnevin]

back when I worked a club in cincinnati some whiner complained he couldn't taste the vodka in him screwdriver
had already drink over half the bitch
so I ripped off the pour spout to the well vodka and filled him up with vodka
probably about 6 ounces of vodka
there's your damn martini little bitch

I would have grabbed two fat straws and knocked it out in 2 gulps back in the day. Then I would have over tipped you to keep them coming, just like the last one.

 

[Spartacus]

I would have grabbed two fat straws and knocked it out in 2 gulps back in the day. Then I would have over tipped you to keep them coming, just like the last one.

this was a big ass club down on "Pete Rose Way"
we'd put 2500 people in the place on friday and sat at $5 a head
that's 10,000 plus right there at the door
16 bartenders and we could have a break drink
I drank pretty good workin there
fuck mgmt didn't care as long as you weren't outright stealing
the Jewish owners cleaned house during a sweep
brought in a bunch of spotters and almost all the bartenders got fired
then they wanted me to manage the place

 

[magman1]

or just take your vodka in a shot, like a real fuckin man

I'd say the real man part came when I hit a shot of 151 and then the 151 and DIET redbull! If you're suckin down a shit load of drinks once or twice a week, why add an extra 3k calories through shit mixers? Fuck the bartender, with a tip, I'd say making $3 bucks for 30 seconds isn't all that bad! When he made my drink, I'm sure he was thinking I'll show this pussy, because he put in about 5oz of 151 but after playing rugby at Penn State for five years, we used to drink that shit like water!

 

[John C Calhoun]

old city is cool as shit, but the friggin drink prices are out of control. When I visit some old friends that live there they took me to Swanky Bubbles and Cuba Libre, then one of those fucky sucky massage parlors - Philly is awesome

 

[PICK3]

xanies have zero calories

 

[string_bean00]

xanies have zero calories

xanax sucks for partying, if i combine that shti with booze i just get confused and pass out

 

[Spartacus]

oh yeah I forgot to mention
amongst barkeeps you're high up there on the opinion scale ordering a liquor designed to be used sparely to cut the sweetness of some of those fufu drinks
and/or to top the latest flaming drink created by some wise ass in connecticut

 

[jackangel]

this is exactly why i inject ethanol straight into my neck.

 

[PICK3]

this is exactly why i inject ethanol straight into my neck.

kool!

 

[string_bean00]

oh yeah I forgot to mention
amongst barkeeps you're high up there on the opinion scale ordering a liquor designed to be used sparely to cut the sweetness of some of those fufu drinks
and/or to top the latest flaming drink created by some wise ass in connecticut

examples bor? this interests me greatly, i like all manners concerning booze

 

[swole]

ah, the good ol' days of the blowout

 

[Spartacus]

examples bor? this interests me greatly, i like all manners concerning booze

I bartended for a dozen years
now I've been a mortician for over a dozen more
stories?
I got stories

 

[PICK3]

I bartended for a dozen years
now I've been a mortician for over a dozen more
stories?
I got stories

I'm trying to think of a joke incorporating the two professions, e.g. bartending and mortician ... I got nothing.

 

[Spartacus]

I'm trying to think of a joke incorporating the two professions, e.g. bartending and mortician ... I got nothing.

I've thought through doing a whole stand-up comedy routine
first segment I'm out sharp in a suit and rip on the funeral biz
then loosen the tie,toss the jacket get a little more casual and tarsh the bar scene
then finish up by stripping down to some revealing AAP like lifting wear and ripping bodybuilding

 

[Spartacus]

my trip to columbus,Ohio for the arnold fidness expo gave me boo koo ammo on the bodyfit scene
yikes!

 

[magman1]

xanax sucks for partying, if i combine that shti with booze i just get confused and pass out

That's the understatement of the year.....I took that shit in highschool, one weeknight....didn't hit me while I was awake, I woke up the next morning, and got lost on my way to highschool, after going there every day of my life for three years.....that was some funny shit