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Things that suck about fat people

S

stuffperson

New member
1) Cokes

2) Sharing diet tips.

3) Eating popcorn at 11pm.

4) Going on Atkins for 4 months, losing 35lbs, going back to Cokes and Sugar Snakey Sprinkle Cakes and gaining back 55.

5) Exercising brain power by watching every reality series on tv.

6) Taking 900 medications to counter their lifestyle related problems.

7) Asking fit people for exercise or diet tips, and never sticking to them for more than 3 minutes.

8) Situps give you abs.
 
#6 is my favorite one. That's a fact jack.

I'll add the excitement they get from cooking desserts and things that will maintain their fatness.

As well as assuming their ailments and illnesses are a topic of concern for anyone that they talk to.
 
Deus ex Machina:
My father just had 30k gastric bypass surgery done. Guess what. still fat. after his 6 - 700cal/day diet withers away all his muscle mass he will still be.. fat.

thanks for the ideas slick

10) Enthusiastically cooking desserts for everyone they know.

11) Enthusiastically eating all said desserts when no one is looking.

12) Telling everyone on earth about their type II diabetes.

13) Considering the death of Dr. Atkins a larger national tragedy than Presidential assassination.

14) Buying supplements or vitamins, and never taking them.

15) Adherence to a cardio only exercise program, and failing.
 
I saw the grossest thing today. It was on the Maury show. Anyways, his guest was 851 pounds.


The title was:

I've been shot, burned, and blown up. These events led to my obesity.


Totally gross. Maury said something like "I weigh 190 pounds" and was replied with "you weigh as much as one of my thighs"

The audience didn't know whether to laugh or give pity.

Blech.
 
Last edited:
hahah.

"I have a thyroid problem" heard that one a thousand times.

Don't hear the big-boned stuff that much anymore, seems to be more hip to blame it on a legit medical problem.

I think a badass new diet would be where everytime a fatty bites into something, another person screams at them and punches them in the temple.
 
Or everytime a fat person eats something they aren't supposed to, it is poisoned with intense diarrhea inducing toxins. It'd be like that psychology thing with the rat and electrocution.
 
THe last times i remember the thyroid excuse, in highschool, a girl that was big (read: huge) stood in front of class, read a paper on her thyroid problem, then wailed uncontrollably in front of the class. Okay, so I felt bad for her.

Other than that, was in a buffet a few years back called Mandarin House, a humongous fat couple were scarfing down plate after plate of deep fried chinese delicacies, after which the fat husband/boyfriend/worthless started telling people at surrounding tables about his thyroid problem, and that was why he was so fat. No one even asked. SHut up.
 
Whoa. Now that is dumb about the dude at the buffet. I do the same thing sometimes with the "an alligator bit off most of my dick, that's why it's so small" routine, but the thyroid thing is just sad.
 
twice in the last year i had dreams that I cut my dick off, then freaked out when i couldn't reattach it, and just ran around the remainder of each dream trying to get friends to help me reattach my cut off penis.
 
I hate the fat people blaming shit on an "underactive thyroid" when they should be blaming it on their "overactive fork". Fat people suck.
 
vinylgroover said:
finding old bits of food between the fat rolls
Click to expand...
i know a paramedic who ran an EMS call on a guy with severe abdominal pains. the patient was 400+ lbs. upon his ascessment he found a maggot infested sandwich between one of the guys fatrolls. the pain was from the rotten food infecting him. the guy said he lost the sandwich a few days earlier and had wondered what happened to it.:sick:
 
You know you guys might wake up one day and find yourselves fat as all hell. Leave the fatties alone guys. You never know, there may come a time when you no longer are about your own appearance since deep down, deep deep down you despise yourself and want your physical appearance to represent this inner torment.
 
As fake as that story sounds JBRO, I like it.





17) Trying to ridicule normal folks to draw attention away from their obese, marked-for-death carcasses.

18) Classic Fast-Food + diet soda combo.

19) Insistence upon eating dessert with every meal.

20) Passing on their fattie ways to their children, forever dooming a whole bloodline to a lifetime of excuses and helplessness.
 
i promise you that story is true. my teacher in EMT school was a 20 year paramedic and he told us that as a class. you would not believe some of the stories i have heard.
 
Dear Nathan,
I am sorry to inform you that your credit card application was not accepted. You have bad credit stemming from invalid purchases dating back to 1997. I don't know where this is going exactly, but it is supposed to be a creative way of getting to the point of saying "Fuck you."
 
Deus Ex Machina said:
I saw the grossest thing today. It was on the Maury show. Anyways, his guest was 851 pounds.


The title was:

I've been shot, burned, and blown up. These events led to my obesity.


Totally gross. Maury said something like "I weigh 190 pounds" and was replied with "you weigh as much as one of my thighs"

The audience didn't know whether to laugh or give pity.

Blech.
Click to expand...


u seen jerry springer when they got "t bone" he tipped toed in at 10 BILLS a FUCKING k BRO

they took out part of the wall and used a fork lift to get him out of house
 
Denny Welch (b. 1960) of Hamilton, OH, 980 lbs. Welch achieved notoriety as a frequent guest on the Jerry Springer Show, first in his role as a female impersonator, and later (as his weight climbed to more than 800 lbs) as the fat man in Springer's TV sideshow. In 1996, after Welch had been unable to leave his bed for four weeks, Springer paid to have a contractor remove a wall of Welch's home and transport him to a Cincinnati hospital for weight reduction, recording the entire spectacle for broadcast. Welch lost about 200 pounds, but by the fall of 1997 he had regained it all and had developed heart and respiratory problems along the way, possibly as a result of his treatment with diet pills. In April 1998 he was back in the hospital, suffering from severe edema and congestive heart failure. His mother told the press that he now weighed 980 lbs., and "his body was so swollen, it looked like it was ready to burst." Welch also faces criminal charges for allegedly showing pornographic videos to minors. (Links - 1, 2)
 
Mills Darden (1798 - 1857) of North Carolina; 7 ft 6 in, 1020 lbs. Darden was an acromegalic giant. His wife, who bore him three (some sources say five) children before her death in 1837, weighed only 98 lbs.



any relation to our Clint Darden? If so, I can see where some of his size came from!
 
this dude super wieght gain

Arthur Knorr (1914 - 1960) of Reseda, CA; 6 ft 1 in, 900 lbs. He set a record for gaining weight (later broken by Jon Minnoch, above) by putting on 300 lbs in his last six months.
 
tiger88 said:
lol good link
Click to expand...

yeah one of those beasts would house 3 pizzas for a meal

there are definitely diminishing returns to scale with pizza, seen at around 4 slices for me

after that, they just dont' taste nearly as good, and get worse with each slice

3 fucking large pizzas
 
Deus Ex Machina said:
Mills Darden (1798 - 1857) of North Carolina; 7 ft 6 in, 1020 lbs. Darden was an acromegalic giant. His wife, who bore him three (some sources say five) children before her death in 1837, weighed only 98 lbs.



any relation to our Clint Darden? If so, I can see where some of his size came from!
Click to expand...

lol i was wondering about that too
 
Santiago Garcia (b. 1964) of Baytown, TX; 6 ft 1 in, aprox. 900 lbs. Garcia made the papers in 1994, when he was arrested for selling forged immigration cards. After proving too big for a cell, too wide for the shower, and too heavy for the forklift that tried to load him into a prison van, Garcia was released into the care of his family. (He was later sentenced to a year's probation.) According to the National Enquirer, Garcia "normally eats five meals a day, which include two 32-ounce steaks, a half-gallon of ice cream, a container of cake frosting, a large pepperoni pizza, plus gobs of mashed potatoes, tacos, pork and beans, and eight packages of peanut butter cups." Unlike most super-heavyweights, Garcia hasn't let his size or the stares of onlookers confine him to his home: he travels around town in the back of his sister's van.
 
tiger88 said:
Santiago Garcia (b. 1964) of Baytown, TX; 6 ft 1 in, aprox. 900 lbs. Garcia made the papers in 1994, when he was arrested for selling forged immigration cards. After proving too big for a cell, too wide for the shower, and too heavy for the forklift that tried to load him into a prison van, Garcia was released into the care of his family. (He was later sentenced to a year's probation.) According to the National Enquirer, Garcia "normally eats five meals a day, which include two 32-ounce steaks, a half-gallon of ice cream, a container of cake frosting, a large pepperoni pizza, plus gobs of mashed potatoes, tacos, pork and beans, and eight packages of peanut butter cups." Unlike most super-heavyweights, Garcia hasn't let his size or the stares of onlookers confine him to his home: he travels around town in the back of his sister's van.
Click to expand...


what an epic tale
 
lol, how the fuck do these people afford these diets?

i mean most of them are too fat to work, and the others just got money from freak shows
 
stuffperson said:
Dear Nathan,
I am sorry to inform you that your credit card application was not accepted. You have bad credit stemming from invalid purchases dating back to 1997. I don't know where this is going exactly, but it is supposed to be a creative way of getting to the point of saying "Fuck you."
Click to expand...

How did you get ahold of this information?
 
okay, since this was bumped, plus I lost count of where i was on my list, I will start over with new observations.

...

1. Fat women who go in public in same color sweatpants and sweatshirts.

2. Old fatties who pay for their groceries with a damn check, taking at least 4 minutes to fill that bitch out.

3. Fatties driving Ford Fiestas that make the left side suspension drop like a low-low.

4. Making trips to the grocery store for 1 special ingredient to make a casserole.

5. FUPA and/or Front-Butt Syndrome.

6. Plus size models saying "This is how NATURAL women look!" : A big fuck you, you just made the gene pool rise 3 inches.


Sorry all, this is the limit on negativity i can spew forth until 1am.
 
21) Theres a species of fat people that will pop when poked with a pin. These are known as "balloons".

22) A true fat ass can obstruct the sun and also obstruct justice in a ratio inversely proportional of the cylinder to the cone.

23) Fat asses. You cant catch em theyre hard to find.

24) Christ its hot in here!
 
The Mother of All Gunts.

fc410b2e86122a7b9c75c75435fbf2bd.jpg
 
slickdadd said:
#6 is my favorite one. That's a fact jack.

I'll add the excitement they get from cooking desserts and things that will maintain their fatness.

As well as assuming their ailments and illnesses are a topic of concern for anyone that they talk to.
Click to expand...

The look of bliss on their face when eating makes me sick.

And then there's the horrible horrible smacking and mmm noises.
 
TC2 said:


The look of bliss on their face when eating makes me sick.

And then there's the horrible horrible smacking and mmm noises.
Click to expand...

Oooooo... the H O R R O R of loud smacking sounds. People who Slosh-n-Slurp while they eat should get impaled.
 
Haha, yes the satisfaction showing how they get off on stuffing their grill is pretty bad.

In that picture, is that an intra-jugular glucose hose??
 
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