Ten Things I Hate About Women . . .

[bigguns7]

There seems to be alot of woman bashing going on around here, as well as alot of women asking why guys hate them.

I figured I would add to the woman bashing, and answer the women's question at the same time.

Ten Things I Hate About Women

10) They can hit you, but you can't hit them back.

9) They can blame any irrational behvior on hormones, but we're not allowed the same luxury.

8) They can ask for sex whenever they want and get it, we have to wait until she's "in the mood."

7) A "girls' night out" is perfectly normal, but a "guys' night out" is asking for trouble.

6) Getting a $30 manicure once a week is considered "personal hygiene," but getting a $100 "sensual massage" once a month at the Happy Spa is cheating.

5) They can spend $250 on four pairs of shoes that they will only wear once, but we can't spend $250 on two pairs of shoes we'll wear every day for a year.

4) You're only as good of a guy as her friends say you are.

3) You pay for an engagement ring, wedding bands, a honeymoon, and a limo. Her daddy pays for a wedding.

2) When all other tactics have failed, they can always cry and get their way.

1) I can't live without them, no matter how hard I try.

 

[The Ranger]

Dating Gym Bunnies


I must say, Stretch and I have had our fill of dating local Gym Bunnies. They have to be the hardest creatues on earth to understand, why God put them here is still beyond the both of us. They've even started calling us " Milk-men " simply because each one that we date, puts an expiration date on the realtionship.

So, Stretch and I have decided to help our fellow Iron Brothers from making the same mistakes we have made. If our advice contained in this top secret report helps one failing realtionship, we have achieved our ultimate goal.

Ranger and Stretch's Guide To Dating Gym Bunnies:

The Top 30:


1. All Iron Brother's only see in 12 different colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color!

2. If you don't dress in Spandex at the gym, or something from Victoria's Secrets when we go out, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys!

3. If you think you're holding to much fat pre-contest, you probally are. Don't ask us. Guys, never answer this question! Change the subject by asking them about Peach Colored shirts.

4. Birthday's, Anniversaries, and Valentines Day are not a quest for us to find the perfect gift. Our wisdom has taught us that lifting gloves, and chalk do not qualify as " perfect " gifts!

5. If you ask a question about training and diet you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you really don't want to hear!

6. When we lift, we're not thinking about you. Live with it! If you ask us what we're thinking, expect answers about max reps, myoplex, nitro-tech, and what Ronnie Coleman does for back day.

7. Sunday=Sports!! Let this one be.

8. Shopping for new Aerobic shoes does not count as a sport. It never will, and we refuse to think of it that way.

9. Other than the gym, if we have to go somewhere. Anything you wear will be fine....Really!

10. Crying about weight gain is blackmail!

11. Ask for what you want: Lets be very clear on this one, subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just spit it out!

12. No, we don't know what day it is. Unless it's arms and chest day, leg day, deadlift day...etc. Mark all important dates on the calendar.

13. Peeing while standing up after heavy deadlifts is difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes. Deal with it!

14. Most Iron Brothers own 3 pair of shoes. We cannot pick one pair out of thirty that will look good in your Pilates Class. Don't ever ask that again.

15. Yes, and No are excellent answers to all our questions.

16. Come to us with a problem only if you want our help in solving it. Sympathy is what other Gym Bunnies are for!

17. Headaches and sore muscles from Areobics Class that last 12 months is a major problem. Go see a doctor.

18. Foreign love films are best left to foreign countries. Unless it has Arnold in it, or war, and Bruce Lee movies are an exception as well.

19. Love Quiz's...It's in neither your best interest, or ours to take one of these together!

20. Anything we said 6 months ago does not count in an argument. All comments made after heavy deadlift day become null and void in 24 hours.

21. We're going to ogle other Spandex wearing Gum Bunnies, let us do it. We cannot help this act, it's genetic, and there is no known cure for this.

22. Please respect our quite moments. Say whatever you have to say during commercial breaks....We thank you on this one.

23. Chalk is as exciting to us, as matching sport tops are to you.

24. If we ask what's wrong, and you say nothing. We will act like nothing is wrong and continue our workout.

25. We know when you tell a little white lie about your weight and body fat percentage...it's just not worth the hassel.

26. We grunt. It's what we do, if the door is closed and we're grunting...don't knock!

27. You have plenty of workout clothes, and too many shoes, don't tell us you have nothing to wear.

28. We compare ourselves to other Iron Brothers, the same way you compare yourself to other Gym Bunnies. We go up and ask advice from them, you pick their bones clean.

29. Brad Pitt, and Leonardo DiCaprio are not ripped. We hate to burst this fantasy...Deal with it!

30. Extra protein we take in has certain side effects. We cannot always be discreet. Practice holding your breath, this will also benefit you in areobics class. So in a way, we're doing this to help you.


It is Stretch and Ranger's wishes that this be cut out, and placed where every Gym Bunny can see it. It could, one day, help all our Iron Brothers in realtionship issues.

Stretch and I thank you,

Ranger

 

[polarpixie]

I can dispute each and every one of those, but I don't feel like wasting my time typing it out right now.

 

[The Ranger]

You'll have that....Heh heh heh

Ranger

 

[bigguns7]

I can dispute each and every one of those, but I don't feel like wasting my time typing it out right now.

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeee. This was meant to be a joke, but I doubt you can refute 1,3, and 10.

 

[polarpixie]

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeee. This was meant to be a joke, but I doubt you can refute 1,3, and 10.

Believe me, i know funny, and this isn't funny.


10) They can hit you, but you can't hit them back.
I think you're allowed to hit them just as hard as they hit you. Takes self control tho.

3) You pay for an engagement ring, wedding bands, a honeymoon, and a limo. Her daddy pays for a wedding.
Do you know how much of that money that is spend on weddings you can't get back if the guy gets cold feet or screws up somehow, like meet another girl, and the whole thing's called off? However, you can return rings for a full refund, that is, if you can manage to get it back. As for the honeymoon, most of my friends seem to be able to split the cost of that honeymoon or it ends up being a gift from family and friends. Point is, in most cases, the bride and her family spend more than the groom.
Side Note, this is NOT how it's going to play out when I get married. No one will be wasting money on a wedding. It's all going towards the honeymoon!!

1) I can't live without them, no matter how hard I try.
This would be a personal preference, so I can't argue with you on that one.

 

[bigguns7]

Believe me, i know funny, and this isn't funny.


10) They can hit you, but you can't hit them back.
I think you're allowed to hit them just as hard as they hit you. Takes self control tho.

3) You pay for an engagement ring, wedding bands, a honeymoon, and a limo. Her daddy pays for a wedding.
Do you know how much of that money that is spend on weddings you can't get back if the guy gets cold feet or screws up somehow, like meet another girl, and the whole thing's called off? However, you can return rings for a full refund, that is, if you can manage to get it back. As for the honeymoon, most of my friends seem to be able to split the cost of that honeymoon or it ends up being a gift from family and friends. Point is, in most cases, the bride and her family spend more than the groom.
Side Note, this is NOT how it's going to play out when I get married. No one will be wasting money on a wedding. It's all going towards the honeymoon!!

1)

1) I think the vast majority of women would disagree with you on that. Likewise, the vast majority of parents probably taught their children not to hit girls no matter what.

3)Traditionally, the brides family pays for everything involved in the wedding, such as flowers, dress, wedding, receptiopn, phtographer, DJ, etc. The groom himself (not his mother and father) pays for the honeymoon, the ring, the bands, the transportation at the wedding. Read any etiquette book and you'll see that I'm right. But my real point is, the groom foots the bill for many things, whi8le the bride herself pays for very little.

I.E. I'm engaged. When it is all said and done, my wedding will cost me over $15,000 OF MY OWN MONEY. It will cost my fiance less than $500. In the end, her parents will have paid much more than me, but that's not the issue here.

 

[Steroid_Virgin]

One thing I like about women....

pussy.

 

[polarpixie]

1) I think the vast majority of women would disagree with you on that. Likewise, the vast majority of parents probably taught their children not to hit girls no matter what.

3)Traditionally, the brides family pays for everything involved in the wedding, such as flowers, dress, wedding, receptiopn, phtographer, DJ, etc. The groom himself (not his mother and father) pays for the honeymoon, the ring, the bands, the transportation at the wedding. Read any etiquette book and you'll see that I'm right. But my real point is, the groom foots the bill for many things, whi8le the bride herself pays for very little.

I.E. I'm engaged. When it is all said and done, my wedding will cost me over $15,000 OF MY OWN MONEY. It will cost my fiance less than $500. In the end, her parents will have paid much more than me, but that's not the issue here.

The way I see it, you could have asked for your parents to help if it bothers you so much. She's lucky that she has parents who are willing to foot the bill. Not that you're asking for pity, but you chose to be in this situation by following rules and etiquettes that some old folks wrote years ago, that's your own choice , so I'm not going to pout my lips for you.

Anyway, congrats on your impending marriage. I hope you treat each other well thru the years.

 

[the nature boy]

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeee. This was meant to be a joke, but I doubt you can refute 1,3, and 10.

as for 3, women have proposed to men.... so how does that work?

as for hitting women, if any of the broads in that thread with the ugly body building chicks hit me in the face, I'm hitting them back. no doubt.

 

[polarpixie]

as for hitting women, if any of the broads in that thread with the ugly body building chicks hit me in the face, I'm hitting them back. no doubt.

cat fight cat fight!!!!!
Nature Boy vs Heather Darling! Now I would love to see that fight!

 

[the nature boy]

I would lose before it even started. Although I migt go for a cheap shot and kick her in the balls.

 

[polarpixie]

I would lose before it even started. Although I migt go for a cheap shot and kick her in the balls.

teehee....If she wasn't born with them, I am sure that she has grown some by now.