Standards? Women?

[fyxgel2]

Alright fellers,

In the past when I posted my inquiries on how to go about business and get a girlfriend, I received a lot of advice from you guys of course,

and one of the things which I particularly recall hearing a lot was "lower the standards" up the weight, etc, bla.
At first I was disgusted by such a notion, but now I am realizing that it may indeed be the key to success.

So what I want to know is... how attractive should the women be, that I seek after, on a scale of 1-10? or something like that. I havent had many successes or failures with women yet since I havent tried much, but what do you guys think I should go after? (just so I can know now, and save some time)
Even if I could get the hottest girl alive, I think I would rather get a girl in my league anyway (a girl who is similar to me in appearances), since that seems like its more fair to the rest of the world (unless a hotty approached me and asked me out, then I wouldnt turn her down).

So yea, what league am I in, and how attractive should the chicks be that I go after?
You can piece this all together, from what you know of me in my previous posts, and then this picture of course:

http://www.bethel.edu/~gjeste/me.jpg

 

[jerseyart]

Ditch the glasses and get a new do

 

[ManOfArms]

Alright fellers,

In the past when I posted my inquiries on how to go about business and get a girlfriend, I received a lot of advice from you guys of course,

and one of the things which I particularly recall hearing a lot was "lower the standards" up the weight, etc, bla.
At first I was disgusted by such a notion, but now I am realizing that it may indeed be the key to success.

So what I want to know is... how attractive should the women be, that I seek after, on a scale of 1-10? or something like that. I havent had many successes or failures with women yet since I havent tried much, but what do you guys think I should go after? (just so I can know now, and save some time)
Even if I could get the hottest girl alive, I think I would rather get a girl in my league anyway (a girl who is similar to me in appearances), since that seems like its more fair to the rest of the world (unless a hotty approached me and asked me out, then I wouldnt turn her down).

So yea, what league am I in, and how attractive should the chicks be that I go after?
You can piece this all together, from what you know of me in my previous posts, and then this picture of course:

http://www.bethel.edu/~gjeste/me.jpg

Just tell them your really good friends with Bill Gates, you will have them licking your toes in no time!!!!

 

[BradG]

Hey man I haven't posted on one of your women threads that I recall so, more than likley, you won't recognize me. Anyway, I don't know what you standards are but in anycase they are YOUR standards and other people telling you what you should go for doesn't seem to me to be a good way to lower your standards. For one thing everyone has different ideas on what a 10 is or a 5 is and so on.

From what I have seen from your threads you are a pretty religious guy. So I would reccomend that you look for women in an environment that people like minded to yourself would be. Yes I realize you are thinking that you are never going to find a woman in church... But you need to decide for yourself what is important in a relationship. Looks are important to some degree for physical attraction in the inital stages of a relationship, but in my experience I have come to be pretty attracted to women who I didn't think were very "Physically attractive" at all. This attraction was just from the personality of the person. Because, let's face it, if you were to get together with someone who was not religious then one of two things would happen either you would realize that she wasn't who you wanted or she would start to pull you away from God. I am not saying this would be rapid or intentional but I believe it happens this way.

The main thing that I think will benifit you from the reponses I have read is the "be yourself" comments, but not only be yourself but be comfortable with who you are. Once you are comfortable with yourself you can be yourself in any given situation, and when you find a girl in that way you will know that she wants you for who you really are and that is the kind of relationship that is worth developing.

Like I said, basically you just need to decide what is really fundamentally important to you in a woman/relationship.

 

[jerseyart]

Brad

All very good advice, except right now "himself" has bad glasses and a haircut that looks like mom had an accident with the scissors.

Grow your hair out, spike it or slick it back, and buy contacts

 

[BradG]

Well, the glasses should go, I agree, and the hair could be better, but he's not a bad looking guy.

 

[jerseyart]

Well, the glasses should go, I agree, and the hair could be better, but he's not a bad looking guy.

He's not bad looking. Everything is proportional. He just needs some style.

He doesn't even have to worry about scoring 10's, or 8's and 9's, until he acquires a little style

Do the above, and find a chick who knows how to dress to help you pick some new clothes bro. Or buy some issues of GQ et al and get some ideas. It has to match you. Don't dress like a thug if your a wuss etc etc

 

[awittyusername]

You are a good looking guy. you look a little to nice. Maybe get some advice from the girls here for the glasses and hair.

But, 2 things to remember.
1. (I know your looking for a girlfriend, but) Every girl ask out or you go out w/is not going to end up as your girlfriend. So, relax and have fun. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Think of it as practicing so when you find the perfect girl you wont F-it up.

2. (I know you want to have a girlfriend of equal caliber as yourself, But) In any relationship where both the male and female are equal caliber. The female ALWAYS has the advantage. Because, she has a VAGINA. (Unless, she has low self esteem.But, you are not ready to learn how to spot and deal w/girls w/low self esteem.

Anyways, to answer your question. Currently, you are about a 7.5. (alot better than me at your age). But, new glasses, maybe a little longer hair, a tan, and hit the gym, Bro, you are a solid 9. So, I'd start w/a 5. If you fail goto a 4 or If successful, then start working your way up.

Don't feel bad bc the girls are doing the same thing except they can justify it when they dump you and move up the food chain. (Bc they romantically fell in love)

Now when I say a 5. That is society's 5. So, find traits that you like that you like that the rest of society dosent. For example, I like chicks that have a big ass or are really tall.These girls are normally not too popular. Therefore, easy to obtain. And, for some reason I think chicks w/speach impediments and and kind of missing limb is hot.

Also, You can start w/a 6 or 7 if she hangs w/really hot girls. (bc the hot girls get all the attention)

Bro, just watch the discovery channel. The lion doesn't go after the healthiest antelope. It goes for the weakest. Or, the one that stays at the watering hole too long. (Thats for a later lesson.)

Good luck my horny little friend.

Hey where do you goto school? And, what type of religious school is it? 7th day???(if you don't mind me asking.)

 

[Lao Tzu]

He's not bad looking. Everything is proportional. He just needs some style.

He doesn't even have to worry about scoring 10's, or 8's and 9's, until he acquires a little style

Do the above, and find a chick who knows how to dress to help you pick some new clothes bro. Or buy some issues of GQ et al and get some ideas. It has to match you. Don't dress like a thug if your a wuss etc etc

I dont think he goes after 8s, 9s & 10s. I have seen a pic of a woman he really liked where he used to work, she was a 6 or 7.

 

[awittyusername]

Brad

All very good advice, except right now "himself" has bad glasses and a haircut that looks like mom had an accident with the scissors.

Grow your hair out, spike it or slick it back, and buy contacts

Well, I guess we all agree about the hair and glasses. What about a tan?

Hey do you have any fashionable girls at your school. Thats a good in to go shoping w/her.

 

[MAX 300]

I don't know if you really want to base your selection on looks, if you can find a woman that makes you happy and that you want to be with as much as she wants to be with you then you've hit the jackpot. Looks will be secondary at that stage.

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

you're a good looking young man..
if you work on your social skillz, you won't be single for long.

 

[awittyusername]

I don't know if you really want to base your selection on looks, if you can find a woman that makes you happy and that you want to be with as much as she wants to be with you then you've hit the jackpot. Looks will be secondary at that stage.

Yes. But, Junior has to get his feet wet first. He need some playing time. I don't think he has been off the bench.

 

[Daisy_Girl]

Glasses are fine, they can be sexy. But mess that hair up a little. It looks like a bad version of very early 90s George Clooney-type do. Worked for him, but is outdated. Make it spiky-ish.

And don't worry about "leagues". We are all just people. And everyone has a different idea of attractive. If you see a girl *you* find attractive, talk to her, then if you think your personalities mesh, go from there.

 

[fyxgel2]

okay fellers, I am back now, so now I can give some replies

Glasses are fine, they can be sexy. But mess that hair up a little. It looks like a bad version of very early 90s George Clooney-type do. Worked for him, but is outdated. Make it spiky-ish.

And don't worry about "leagues". We are all just people. And everyone has a different idea of attractive. If you see a girl *you* find attractive, talk to her, then if you think your personalities mesh, go from there.

hehe, alright, I'll mess up the hair? should I grow it out longer at all? how long?

Thank you for your advice about leagues. Maybe I need to break out of this mentality.
Leagues are nice I guess, because they tell me what my odds are. I mean I could probably snag a lot more ugly girls than I could Cindy Crawford look-alikes. So leagues are a good rule to go by, if you are looking for less hassle in trying to get a girl. For a lazy person like me, sometimes its nice not to focus as much on looks, and maybe go after the more average girls, that way successes will come quicker and easier than if I was only going after the hotties.

Yea, maybe i just need to get out there and start asking girls out, in order to find out where I stand, among the female population.

 

[fyxgel2]

Yes. But, Junior has to get his feet wet first. He need some playing time. I don't think he has been off the bench.

this is so true. today I spent the majority of the day sleeping. Doing nothing productive. I havent worked out in a few weeks. I am butt lazy. I need to change this. The problem is that I dont know if I can, because I am just so lazy.
But maybe I could drag myself up off the ground and ask some girls out on dates, and do that. That would be fun.

I think I like the idea of going shopping with some girls and having them help me pick out some clothes.

The hairdo I can fix, if I can just figure out what would be better.

The glasses, darn. I suppose I can nix them, even though they are more convenient than contacts.

The tan? crap, I hate tanning. But I want to be liked, hmmm. tough call.

Working out? I should be doing this anyway, hopefully I can get back into the groove. Or else women can just like me while I'm young, and dislike me while I'm older and fatter

 

[fyxgel2]

I dont think he goes after 8s, 9s & 10s. I have seen a pic of a woman he really liked where he used to work, she was a 6 or 7.

by the way, she is way hotter in person. That is a bad pic. And even if she is in my league, unfortunately she acts as if she's above me. doh. I think she has a crush for some guy who is going to be our student body president next year at my college. This guy is also taller, and probably better looking than me.

Awittyusername,

you have some interesting ideas. I like the one about how girls will always have the advantage since they have the vagina, lol.
I dont know about going after them 5s though. I wanna try higher first, because honestly 5s really dont do anything for me.

PS: I go to Bethel University, in st. paul, MN

 

[awittyusername]

this is so true. today I spent the majority of the day sleeping. Doing nothing productive. I havent worked out in a few weeks. I am butt lazy. I need to change this. The problem is that I dont know if I can, because I am just so lazy.
But maybe I could drag myself up off the ground and ask some girls out on dates, and do that. That would be fun.

I think I like the idea of going shopping with some girls and having them help me pick out some clothes.

The hairdo I can fix, if I can just figure out what would be better.

The glasses, darn. I suppose I can nix them, even though they are more convenient than contacts.

The tan? crap, I hate tanning. But I want to be liked, hmmm. tough call.

Working out? I should be doing this anyway, hopefully I can get back into the groove. Or else women can just like me while I'm young, and dislike me while I'm older and fatter

Trust me bro, you will feel better if you get out and work out and do things. I wish I was 12yrs younger. I hate tanning also. Do you have a beach or pool near you? That is a great place to tan and meet girls.

When I was your age my friend and I would goto the mall and have the girls that worked there help us pick out clothes. We met alot of girls that way. Also, struck out alot too. But, if your a baseball player who gets out 7 out of 10 at bats. (bats about .300) Is paid about 5mil. So, dont worry about striking out.

For your hair, I'd let it grow longer and keep the same style, but have it textured. But, stop into some hair shops and ask the girls that work there. They no more than me, and you will have the opportunity to talk to girls.

Do the same thing for anything. For Example, if you and a friend want to get something to eat. Go by wendys, McD, Taco hell, and goto the place that has girls there. Not bc you want a big mac. We have hooked up a number of times by doing this.

You are at an awsome time in your life. And, you are going to college, smart, and good looking. So, get out there and enjoy yourself.

 

[GoldenDelicious]

that dead little fringe has got to go

 

[awittyusername]

Awittyusername,

you have some interesting ideas. I like the one about how girls will always have the advantage since they have the vagina, lol.
I dont know about going after them 5s though. I wanna try higher first, because honestly 5s really dont do anything for me.

PS: I go to Bethel University, in st. paul, MN

My (and most of the other guys here) advice on women we have given you recently is not IDEAS. They come from real life experiences. (we are older) Some of the younger guys I give the same advice to think I am bragging. This is not true. I was not smarter or definately better looking that you. But, This is all shit we learn in real life. I wish I had the advice you have got from everyone here.

Everyone's 5 is different. The point is all guys have to start out w/a less attractive girl. Trust me you are going to screw it up. (every guy does)

 

[Mandy]

Don't worry about doing things that you don't want to do. If you are comfortable with yourself then it shows and that alone attracts women. You shouldn't have to CHANGE yourself for ANY woman. If a woman isn't gonna like you the way you are then ditch her. Only try to change yourself if it is for YOU. And if YOU are happy and willing to do it. If you go through life just trying to change yourself for other people you will NEVER be able to get it right and your life will be a rollercoaster.
Hope this helps!!!

 

[starfish]

Well I don't know what a woman finds attracitive since they're all so weird. But you ain't ugly. Kind of a smart, nerdy look. Many women like that look. BTW, I've seen some real pretty women with some ugly ass dudes, use to piss me off when I was single. Here I am busting my ass off in the gym, plus I'm a nice guy, and I couldn't find one of those.

 

[gonelifting]

You`re a good looking dude. Go after the first girl that smiles back at you.

 

[starfish]

Don't worry about doing things that you don't want to do. If you are comfortable with yourself then it shows and that alone attracts women. You shouldn't have to CHANGE yourself for ANY woman. If a woman isn't gonna like you the way you are then ditch her. Only try to change yourself if it is for YOU. And if YOU are happy and willing to do it. If you go through life just trying to change yourself for other people you will NEVER be able to get it right and your life will be a rollercoaster.
Hope this helps!!!

I have to disagree. I've seen plenty of people that are ugly because they choose to be. Don't brush their teeth regularly(yellow teeth), Natty hair, etc. With a few changes many people could be a lot more attractive than they are.

 

[Diesel3d]

What everyone has already said….

And. Don’t put hot girls on a pedestal, or class them in ‘leagues’ because looks don’t mean anything if you are looking for more than a short term thing.

You got to break it down, besides her looks, what she has to offer YOU. Is she cool? Does she fit being with you? Does she have a brain? Goals in life?.. Things you want in a girl. Do you have more to offer to her? these are serious things you got to ask yourself. Reason why i say this is because you seem like the type that will get walked on.

I have talked to some seriously gorgeous women who believe they are on a pedestal or in a ‘league’ due to looks yet they shovel shit for a living and can barely carry a normal conversation.

That’s the reality of it. You think she's perfect looking , nice, worthy of warship etc etc but then you find out she's a escort .

Remember, use the force

 

[Mandy]

I have to disagree. I've seen plenty of people that are ugly because they choose to be. Don't brush their teeth regularly(yellow teeth), Natty hair, etc. With a few changes many people could be a lot more attractive than they are.

Good point. But this dude doesn't seem to have any discusting flaws like that. So, it seems outrageous for him to totally make-over himself just to please someone else.
But, again, good point. People with bad hygeine need to be banned from this world!!!

 

[BradG]

Good point. But this dude doesn't seem to have any discusting flaws like that. So, it seems outrageous for him to totally make-over himself just to please someone else.
But, again, good point. People with bad hygeine need to be banned from this world!!!

Not banned, just put into a reform program somewhat similar to prision.

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

then you find out she's a escort

That's what he needs....a pro.
Well, F him, that what I need

 

[fyxgel2]

Everyone's 5 is different. The point is all guys have to start out w/a less attractive girl. Trust me you are going to screw it up. (every guy does)

why do all guys have to start out with a lesser attractive girl? I would think that it shouldnt matter. Girls shouldnt rate guys based on how many women they've been with.

And what do you mean by I am going to screw it up, and that all guys have? I was confused about this part too.

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

Why is it ,that I know most of the answers to your questions, but I'm as much a virgin as you are?

 

[fyxgel2]

Good point. But this dude doesn't seem to have any discusting flaws like that. So, it seems outrageous for him to totally make-over himself just to please someone else.
But, again, good point. People with bad hygeine need to be banned from this world!!!

lol, yea bad hygeine turns people off pretty quickly. And that is something that people should change for the good.

The thing that starfish said about how people could be better with a 'few changes'. I guess what I'm wondering is if that applies to other things too, like if I should tan, or if I should try to get to 8% bodyfat and get nice muscles, etc, lol. you get the idea. I mean those changes take a lot of work.

btw starfish, lol, I love how your gender is female.

Why is it ,that I know most of the answers to your questions, but I'm as much a virgin as you are?

ha, i have no idea. maybe u arent motivated to use the knowledge? i know thats one of my problems. motivation to go out and talk to girls is huge, you need that way more than you need head knowledge.

if you have that too though, and u have been talking to girls, then i would say its just bad luck.

 

[jerseyart]

Stop with the "leagues" and "less atractive girl" crap.

Get some billy bop shades and a tight pair of jeanos. Put on a sharksin jacket, you know the kind with the velvet collar.


Sorry, get carried away

It's not rocket science.

You want girls, then Just Don't Be Average. The world is full of average, and every girl is looking for the guy that stands out a little. Find some style, but one that suits you. It can't be fake. Do it!

I gave you the best advice on this thread and you ingored it punk. Forget the "be yourself" nonsense. You have a long face, so the spiked look would probably serve you well with the hair. If you were cool like me you could get away with wearing it slicked back, but your not, so you probably shouldn't And yeah, glasses can look good, but not on you. You have too much of a "nerd" look going on already, and you don't want to accentuate that with glasses.

And drop the league stuff. Its not about leagues. Learn to be friends with women, that is what you seem to lack. Make friends with 7's,8's.9's and 10's, learn to be comfortable with them, and you'll never be at a loss for a date.

 

[-SD-]

The more energy and time you spend posting on an internet chat board about girls, the less time and energy you spend gaining experience in the real world with girls.

The more time you spend lying around in bed thinking about how to get a girlfriend, the less time you have to go out and get the phone numbers of possible girlfriends.

The more time you spend asking for the same advice over and over again, the less time you have to apply that advice to girls.

The more time you spend on inaction, the more you reinforce your lack of confidence.

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

http://www.bethel.edu/~gjeste/me.jpg

You do have teeth.... right?

lol, just kidding.

Girls like to see pearly whites when you smile.

 

[awittyusername]

why do all guys have to start out with a lesser attractive girl? I would think that it shouldnt matter. Girls shouldnt rate guys based on how many women they've been with.

And what do you mean by I am going to screw it up, and that all guys have? I was confused about this part too.

You need to start out w/a lesser attractive girl (maybe younger) to get you feet wet. For example, my cousin is in the exact same situation as you. He repairs computers for a living. So, I told him. "When you started, did you boss start you out a the mainframe for a nuclear powere plant? No, he gave you a Commador 64 and said good luck. "(knowing you would screw it up.)

Yes, you are going to screw up. For example, she will have another guy start liking her and giving her attention. So, instinctively, you will kiss her ass and give her more attention. She will realize this (if she didn't know it already) and continue doing this. (So, you will kiss her ass) This is not the thing to do in these situations. But, you must look back in every situation and learn from your mistakes.

 

[awittyusername]

Don't worry about doing things that you don't want to do. If you are comfortable with yourself then it shows and that alone attracts women. You shouldn't have to CHANGE yourself for ANY woman. If a woman isn't gonna like you the way you are then ditch her. Only try to change yourself if it is for YOU. And if YOU are happy and willing to do it. If you go through life just trying to change yourself for other people you will NEVER be able to get it right and your life will be a rollercoaster.
Hope this helps!!!

So, Mandy does this mean you will go out w/flxygel2??????

Bro, do not take dating advice from women. What they say they want..is not what they really want.

However, I think a girl like Mandy would give better hair, glasses, and style imput than the guys..(If she is honestly says what she is attracted to) Not that shit girls say about don't worry about your looks as long as your happy w/yourself. Bro, when I was your age I was happy w/my self. But, a chick like mandy wouldnt touch me w/a 10' pole. However, through improving my looks, body and learning what to do.(and my financial situation) Girls like Mandy throw themselves at me. (I'm not saying mandy would like me. Just an example)

 

[awittyusername]

Stop with the "leagues" and "less atractive girl" crap.

Get some billy bop shades and a tight pair of jeanos. Put on a sharksin jacket, you know the kind with the velvet collar.


Sorry, get carried away

It's not rocket science.

You want girls, then Just Don't Be Average. The world is full of average, and every girl is looking for the guy that stands out a little. Find some style, but one that suits you. It can't be fake. Do it!

I gave you the best advice on this thread and you ingored it punk. Forget the "be yourself" nonsense. You have a long face, so the spiked look would probably serve you well with the hair. If you were cool like me you could get away with wearing it slicked back, but your not, so you probably shouldn't And yeah, glasses can look good, but not on you. You have too much of a "nerd" look going on already, and you don't want to accentuate that with glasses.

And drop the league stuff. Its not about leagues. Learn to be friends with women, that is what you seem to lack. Make friends with 7's,8's.9's and 10's, learn to be comfortable with them, and you'll never be at a loss for a date.

JA, I agree w/everthing you said. Except the Friend shit and Hair style.


Taking one look at Junior. I would wager he has alot of girls that will be FRIENDS w/him. This is only hurting matters. It is tough for any guy to out of the friend zone. Much less a guy that looks like Jr. If you had a daughter, you ould be relieved if a guy like him showed up. But, unfortunately this doesn't get the chics wet.

I agree w/him having a long face. However, I think spiking it up would accentuate his long head. I think he should glow his hair longer (and maybe even darken it a little) to give more girth to his head.

 

[Tweakle]

Forget the "be yourself" nonsense. You have a long face, so the spiked look would probably serve you well with the hair. If you were cool like me you could get away with wearing it slicked back, but your not, so you probably shouldn't And yeah, glasses can look good, but not on you. You have too much of a "nerd" look going on already, and you don't want to accentuate that with glasses.

this is very good advice, act on it ASAP. Make the most of your hair or shave it off (not a good idea for you because you're not big enough and wear glasses)

some of the advice you've been given is well intentioned but completely useless; sure there's plenty of fat chicks out there who'll love you just the way you are, glasses and all but you dont want to settle, do ya?