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Aryan_Soldat
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today was the last day of my vacation from work. So on the way home from the gym, I stop by this burrito joint in my neighborhood. You see, this fat, pasty, ugly, hairy-assed hippie girl who always wears a stupid, floppy hat works there. She wants to save the Earth and shit but all she does is smell bad and sling burritos. Anyway, this cow gives me fat-free fajitas, and 2 pound blocks of frozen egg whites for free! The only stipulation to the arrangement is that I have to let her smoke my tool every once in a while and finger fuck her. It sux because after I finger her nappy twat, I end up washing my hands for a week like fuckin Lady Macbeth. In fact, I can't even get hard when she blows me unless I have a European porno on. Lately, I pop in this video when she sux me where this German broad in a Nazi uniform makes these "slave" chicks tongue her ass. If the slave girls do not rimjob her to her liking, the Nazi bitch yells at them in German and takes a pee on em. Anyway, this fuckin hippie girl starts pulling this shit today about how I'm just using her for food, and I'll never be seen in public with her. The jist is that I had to take this heifer out, or she was going to withhold my food.
I ended up taking her to this upscale bar/seafood restaraunt in my area. The Oyster's are fuckin outstanding, and they have every German beer on tap. So I look over at the table behind me, and there is this fine assed slut who looks like Midajah O'Hearn. except this chick has stretch marks on her overly-madeup cheeks from smoking pole. She's got big money fake titties, and painted-on hot pants. Her camel toe is peeking at me from under the table. Now I look at who she's with, and its this rich kid fag fuck art dealer who owns the gallery next door. Now this guy is a fat, greasy, bastard who always wears silk shirts from Armani exchange, and has a pinky ring as fat as his fuckin head. He also talks with a lisp, and is really effeminate. Now at this point I get pissed. Let me tell you about this art fag: He is the kind of guy who spent his adolescent years playing his daddy's old records and trying on his mama's underwear. Total fuckin douche-bag. Well, art fag gets up to go to the bathroom, so I say to the fat hippie, "I work with that girl, lemme go talk to her and I'll be right back." She gets all huffy, and I'm like, "whatever, fuck you." Now I gotta tell you guys that in real life I have a very strong pimp hand, so this kind of shit comes naturally to me. I go over to the slut, and I'm like "what do I gotta do to get next to you?" She's like, "you got nuthin I haven't had before." At that point, I hear a deliberate cough, and I realize that art fag is right behind me, trying to play the protective man or something. So I'm like, "hey rimjob, I hear there's a gallery opening on Division Street, why don't you go there and see how much $1,000 caviar you can stuff up yer asshole?" He looks at me in disbelief, and he goes to grab my lapel, but he knocks tartar sauce all over the slut's fake-ass titties. I laugh my ass off, look at the hoebag, and she gives me a wink, so I start licking tartar sauce off of her tits. The fat hippie starts bawling and heads to the door
. Next thing, some fatheaded fuck and some little prick in a suit are ushering me out, and the art fag is yelling in a shaky voice "don't come back!!"
On top of all that, I went to the burrito joint to try and straighten things out with the hippie cow, and she won't even talk to me! She had one of the cooks come out, this fat little Italian guy, and he's like, "eh! She don't want to talk to you." I'm like "hey super mario, maybe you should pay a little respect before I launch a fireball up yer fuckin ass King Koopa style!" Unfuckin believable. Now I'm 86ed from my fav oyster joint, AND I get no more free food from the hippie bitch. FUCK!!!!
AS
today was the last day of my vacation from work. So on the way home from the gym, I stop by this burrito joint in my neighborhood. You see, this fat, pasty, ugly, hairy-assed hippie girl who always wears a stupid, floppy hat works there. She wants to save the Earth and shit but all she does is smell bad and sling burritos. Anyway, this cow gives me fat-free fajitas, and 2 pound blocks of frozen egg whites for free! The only stipulation to the arrangement is that I have to let her smoke my tool every once in a while and finger fuck her. It sux because after I finger her nappy twat, I end up washing my hands for a week like fuckin Lady Macbeth. In fact, I can't even get hard when she blows me unless I have a European porno on. Lately, I pop in this video when she sux me where this German broad in a Nazi uniform makes these "slave" chicks tongue her ass. If the slave girls do not rimjob her to her liking, the Nazi bitch yells at them in German and takes a pee on em. Anyway, this fuckin hippie girl starts pulling this shit today about how I'm just using her for food, and I'll never be seen in public with her. The jist is that I had to take this heifer out, or she was going to withhold my food.
I ended up taking her to this upscale bar/seafood restaraunt in my area. The Oyster's are fuckin outstanding, and they have every German beer on tap. So I look over at the table behind me, and there is this fine assed slut who looks like Midajah O'Hearn. except this chick has stretch marks on her overly-madeup cheeks from smoking pole. She's got big money fake titties, and painted-on hot pants. Her camel toe is peeking at me from under the table. Now I look at who she's with, and its this rich kid fag fuck art dealer who owns the gallery next door. Now this guy is a fat, greasy, bastard who always wears silk shirts from Armani exchange, and has a pinky ring as fat as his fuckin head. He also talks with a lisp, and is really effeminate. Now at this point I get pissed. Let me tell you about this art fag: He is the kind of guy who spent his adolescent years playing his daddy's old records and trying on his mama's underwear. Total fuckin douche-bag. Well, art fag gets up to go to the bathroom, so I say to the fat hippie, "I work with that girl, lemme go talk to her and I'll be right back." She gets all huffy, and I'm like, "whatever, fuck you." Now I gotta tell you guys that in real life I have a very strong pimp hand, so this kind of shit comes naturally to me. I go over to the slut, and I'm like "what do I gotta do to get next to you?" She's like, "you got nuthin I haven't had before." At that point, I hear a deliberate cough, and I realize that art fag is right behind me, trying to play the protective man or something. So I'm like, "hey rimjob, I hear there's a gallery opening on Division Street, why don't you go there and see how much $1,000 caviar you can stuff up yer asshole?" He looks at me in disbelief, and he goes to grab my lapel, but he knocks tartar sauce all over the slut's fake-ass titties. I laugh my ass off, look at the hoebag, and she gives me a wink, so I start licking tartar sauce off of her tits. The fat hippie starts bawling and heads to the door
. Next thing, some fatheaded fuck and some little prick in a suit are ushering me out, and the art fag is yelling in a shaky voice "don't come back!!"On top of all that, I went to the burrito joint to try and straighten things out with the hippie cow, and she won't even talk to me! She had one of the cooks come out, this fat little Italian guy, and he's like, "eh! She don't want to talk to you." I'm like "hey super mario, maybe you should pay a little respect before I launch a fireball up yer fuckin ass King Koopa style!" Unfuckin believable. Now I'm 86ed from my fav oyster joint, AND I get no more free food from the hippie bitch. FUCK!!!!
AS
