social phobia/anxiety

[supershooter]

Im looking for some advice possibly from someone that has suffered this or someone that can give some advice on what to do about this problem. I have had it since I was around 14 and im now 25. Its starting to really affect my social and work life, down to the point where I am avoiding doing things that need to be done in my life. Any advice will be great.

Thanks

 

[markshark]

been going through it for a few years now. have been seeing psychiatrists in and out and have been on and off some meds. its tough. most days i walk out of my apartment building and walk with my head down because im always afraid people are saying things or talkin about me. i had to drop my speech class because of this and now have to take it in the summer. its hard to shake it. i was on xanax for a little and it really helped but the withdrawal and rebound effects are not worth it. i would try talking to a therapist because they arent all egoistic because they have a huge medical degree to blow you off with and just give you pills to take.

 

[reck]

Im looking for some advice possibly from someone that has suffered this or someone that can give some advice on what to do about this problem. I have had it since I was around 14 and im now 25. Its starting to really affect my social and work life, down to the point where I am avoiding doing things that need to be done in my life. Any advice will be great.

Thanks

One of the best things for it is to try to keep breaking out of your comfort zone. Set some goals for yourself and if they seem too big break them down into smaller more managable ones. I also helps if you have someone to talk to (i.e. a family member, girl friend .....) that you can talk to and tell them what you are thinking and going through. A different perspective is always helpful. Also read up on social phobia, there is a ton of books out there dealing with your challenges. I hope this helps you. good luck!

 

[supershooter]

those are the exact same things I have been going through. I also always think people are talking about me or I will mess something up and they will laugh at me. Same thing with the speech class, I was in actual pain going through that class, but I was able to suffer through it.

 

[theoak01]

I agree on the goal setting,keep pushing it a little further and further,you will have set backs where you regress almost but in time it gets better,I went from being a guy who would shake and sweat and stutter while talking to people,to being confident and self assured by using this method,now im a bouncer,have been for three years,it was rough at first,because of this evil monkey on my back I sometimes couldnt communicate like a normal person and got into a few fights because id get frustrated and just get physical where now I can talk and be confident in what I do.

occasionally ive used lorazepam,but that was never before going out,always to calm me down and stop the insane thoughts so I could sleep.

 

[salemlot]

I am probable an expert on this topic even though i haven't beaten it. there were days, weeks, even months where i didn't take a step outside of my house. The only thing that kept me sane was weight lifting, and friends i've met online. My advice to you is Don't let those negetive voices and fear keep you from living. You have to keep moving on even when you don't have the strength too. Last year this time i couldnt imagine that i would fly to California by myself or be going to school in Pa to become a auto mechanic. You just have to keep building off of small successes. Like today i drove, i havent driven a car in almost a year. That was a big deal to me, cause i need to be a good driver if i am going to be a mechanic.
Quit avoiding and start living. Life is so short. I wasted so much of my life already being afraid. I am not cured or anything like that, but i now have hope things can get BETTER.
i hope this helps you and it makes sense, i been away at school for 6 months now and forgotten how to write.

 

[musclemom]

You can also find a therapist who's willing to work with your family doctor, or a psychiatrist (a shrink that can write prescriptions). You want one that has a speciality interest in social anxiety or agoraphobia (if you go to the website of the local hospitals you can usually search the staff, some of the hospital staff listing include the doctor's speciality interest). Try to avoid taking meds prescribed by a regular doctor (a general practioner or internist), without the therapy, it's not going to do you any real long term good. A two pronged approach is the best bet, you take the meds to get you over the hump, so the anxiety becomes less of an overwhelming issue in your life, you have the therapy to deal with the issues surrounding it. Find a therapist you like, one that meshes with YOUR personality. Therapy is so individualized, you NEED to be on the same wavelength, mentally.

Trust me, find a way to fix this, you don't want to become trapped in your house afraid to go out, afraid that the people passing you in their cars are amused at how ridiculous you look, or the elementary school kids are laughing at you, TRUST ME, DEAL WITH IT NOW. You don't get out and make friends now, when you're young, you're NOT GOING to have any when you're 40. You get to the point where YOU LIKE IT, where you can't relate to people, can barely stand your own species, you start prefering the company of animals, and the only humans you deal with are virtual.

 

[markshark]

have you been through this muscle mom? because im on that path. im slowly disassociating myself with people, i dont even leave my apartment. and all i do is talk online to people and go to the gym. when i was young i had more good friends than i could ever count.

 

[musclemom]

have you been through this muscle mom? because im on that path. im slowly disassociating myself with people, i dont even leave my apartment. and all i do is talk online to people and go to the gym. when i was young i had more good friends than i could ever count.

Mark, what happened to your friends? Y'see I NEVER had more than five or so at a time (I was a major freak and outcast in school) and my first husband disconnected me from all my friends when I married him, he didn't approve of them. You'll notice I said first ... when we divorced he got custody of all the friends we made DURING the marriage. It's so impossible to build good friendships when you already have kids, your job doesn't give you social contacts, and you don't belong to a group or church.

But yeah, I'm real close to being disconnected. I don't know if I have agoraphobia, social anxiety or I'm a natural born hermit, I used to have panic attacks and was on Xanax for a while, that's cleared out, but my life is very sheltered, and yet there's a part of me that's just overwhelmed. Take today, a beautiful day, PERFECT weather, we're only gonna get a few more like these, and it STILL took me two times to get the moxie up to tie on my sneakers and go for a nice walk.

Disassociate is a good word, you want to find a way to be connected, at least to find and build some good friendships, because it's nearly impossible to make friends once you get past a certain age.

My problems run deeper than just phobia, that's the worst part, I have chemical problems and apparently a nose like a bloodhound. I'm sensitive to perfumes and colognes, and I can smell the damndest things ... I am a freak, no question. If it weren't for the virtual world I'd have no contact with humans other than my husband ...

But I kind of know how I ended up here, I was isolated as a child, isolated as a young wife and mother, isolated in my last job and isolated in my current job. I've kind of lost the touch for staying connected, I get too wrapped up in people's lives, care too much and it stresses me emotionally ... what cut you off?

 

[michaeltt]

I was diagnosed with Generalized anxiety disorder, but i dont have anything close to what you guys have. i wish you all the best of luck. I think forums such as this are good for people to reach out with similar problems and aspirations.

mike