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The tragic events of September 11th left a nation stunned and saddened. But it also rekindled a passion for Patriotism in our country. Just take a look at these . . .
Atheists across the land are singing "Blank Bless America."
Animated graphics of the American Flag are seen on almost every web site. Except on the adult sites, there's a blonde in heels dancing next to it. But she's wearing an American Flag bikini top! For the bottom, it's just her Bald Eagle.
Ben Affleck is now only drinking domestic beer.
Sales of Wonderwoman costumes for Halloween are way up! And not everyone who bought one was doing it to be "kinky."
For the first time, Judge Lance Ito recites the Pledge of Allegiance's last line "And with justice for all" without breaking into laughter.
Howard Stern refuses to allow any more lesbians on his show that don't bring a red, white, and blue vibrator.
Robert Downey, Jr. and Yasmine Bleeth throw a big party to celebrate America where they swallow red pills, snort white powder, and drink a blue tonic.
Oil tycoons who are in favor of drilling in Alaskan preserves and the Rocky Mountains are singing, "America the Beautiful."
More than one person has stitched an American Flag into their dog's fur.
Manufacturing plants in China are working overtime to produce more USA lapel pins.
Ike Turner offers to give any woman red, white and blue bruises.
A man in New Jersey sings the Star Spangled Banner before having sex with his wife.
Someone ahead of you on line at the grocery store bought a package of American Cheese. This inspires the cashier and everyone else to erupt into an impromptu chant of, "USA! USA!"
All across America: Fireworks at dinner time-- every time.
The WWF creates a new bad-guy wrestler: Osama bin Leglock
A family in Iowa has taken in a homeless man who claims to be a war veteran and the children are now referring to him as their "Uncle Sam."
You actually attend a Lee Greenwood concert.
Hillary Clinton hugged Trent Lott while making no attempt to fatally bite into his jugular vein.
At ballgames, people actually look at the flag during the singing of the Anthem instead of picking the underwear out from their crack or performing an intense inventory of their inner-ears.
Some progressive Churches are now depicting Jesus wearing an American Flag headband and a leather jacket.
Despite having a college education, many people are buying an American car.
The old "USA versus USSR" Hockey Game has been revised. The Russians in Red have been replaced by Terrorists wearing turbans over their helmets. Osama bin Laden is the goalie. He can block the puck with both his stick or long beard.
Americans are all downloading pictures of a hard-bodied lady-- except she's not naked. She's green and holding a torch.
Everybody supports the President in everything he does. Even when the only thing he says is, "Excuse me, I have to use the toilet", people stand up and applaud.
During a National "Moment of Silence" blabbermouth Rosie O'Donnell actually shut up.
For the first time ever, Death Row Records CEO Suge Knight has sympathized with, and not caused, an East Coast tragedy.
For one minute, during the National Day of Mourning, New York Police paused to reflect from their senseless beating of an unarmed minority suspect.
The same people who criticized New York mayor Rudy Guiliani of acting like a fascist dictator are now cheering him as a leader of freedom over fear.
Yuppies in Volvos have stickered their vehicles with slogans like, "Buy American."
Jim Carrey donates 1 million dollars. 100% will go to victims who suffered the tragedy of paying to see "Me Myself and Irene."
To celebrate our ideals of Freedom of Choice, all TV networks simulcast the "Musical Tribute to America."
Just about every web site offers a convenient link to make a relief fund donation, as well as a handy pop-up Ad to allow you to donate to the Worldwide Pervert Fund by purchasing the Amazing XCam.
Jimmy "18 inches" Johnson has affixed an American Banner to his Flag Pole.
Atheists across the land are singing "Blank Bless America."
Animated graphics of the American Flag are seen on almost every web site. Except on the adult sites, there's a blonde in heels dancing next to it. But she's wearing an American Flag bikini top! For the bottom, it's just her Bald Eagle.
Ben Affleck is now only drinking domestic beer.
Sales of Wonderwoman costumes for Halloween are way up! And not everyone who bought one was doing it to be "kinky."
For the first time, Judge Lance Ito recites the Pledge of Allegiance's last line "And with justice for all" without breaking into laughter.
Howard Stern refuses to allow any more lesbians on his show that don't bring a red, white, and blue vibrator.
Robert Downey, Jr. and Yasmine Bleeth throw a big party to celebrate America where they swallow red pills, snort white powder, and drink a blue tonic.
Oil tycoons who are in favor of drilling in Alaskan preserves and the Rocky Mountains are singing, "America the Beautiful."
More than one person has stitched an American Flag into their dog's fur.
Manufacturing plants in China are working overtime to produce more USA lapel pins.
Ike Turner offers to give any woman red, white and blue bruises.
A man in New Jersey sings the Star Spangled Banner before having sex with his wife.
Someone ahead of you on line at the grocery store bought a package of American Cheese. This inspires the cashier and everyone else to erupt into an impromptu chant of, "USA! USA!"
All across America: Fireworks at dinner time-- every time.
The WWF creates a new bad-guy wrestler: Osama bin Leglock
A family in Iowa has taken in a homeless man who claims to be a war veteran and the children are now referring to him as their "Uncle Sam."
You actually attend a Lee Greenwood concert.
Hillary Clinton hugged Trent Lott while making no attempt to fatally bite into his jugular vein.
At ballgames, people actually look at the flag during the singing of the Anthem instead of picking the underwear out from their crack or performing an intense inventory of their inner-ears.
Some progressive Churches are now depicting Jesus wearing an American Flag headband and a leather jacket.
Despite having a college education, many people are buying an American car.
The old "USA versus USSR" Hockey Game has been revised. The Russians in Red have been replaced by Terrorists wearing turbans over their helmets. Osama bin Laden is the goalie. He can block the puck with both his stick or long beard.
Americans are all downloading pictures of a hard-bodied lady-- except she's not naked. She's green and holding a torch.
Everybody supports the President in everything he does. Even when the only thing he says is, "Excuse me, I have to use the toilet", people stand up and applaud.
During a National "Moment of Silence" blabbermouth Rosie O'Donnell actually shut up.
For the first time ever, Death Row Records CEO Suge Knight has sympathized with, and not caused, an East Coast tragedy.
For one minute, during the National Day of Mourning, New York Police paused to reflect from their senseless beating of an unarmed minority suspect.
The same people who criticized New York mayor Rudy Guiliani of acting like a fascist dictator are now cheering him as a leader of freedom over fear.
Yuppies in Volvos have stickered their vehicles with slogans like, "Buy American."
Jim Carrey donates 1 million dollars. 100% will go to victims who suffered the tragedy of paying to see "Me Myself and Irene."
To celebrate our ideals of Freedom of Choice, all TV networks simulcast the "Musical Tribute to America."
Just about every web site offers a convenient link to make a relief fund donation, as well as a handy pop-up Ad to allow you to donate to the Worldwide Pervert Fund by purchasing the Amazing XCam.
Jimmy "18 inches" Johnson has affixed an American Banner to his Flag Pole.
