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Longhorn85
New member
Received this via email today. Sorry if you have already seen it.
> >Subject: Rules Men Live By
> >
> >
> >The Rules -- This Time By Men
> > >
> > >We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
> > >from
> > >the male side. These are our rules!
> > >PLEASE NOTE: These are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
> > >
> > > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
> > >it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching
> > >about you leaving it down.
> > >
> > > 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
> > >
> > > 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
> > >tides. Let it be.
> > >
> > > 1 . Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of
> > >it that way.
> > >
> > > 1. Crying is blackmail.
> > >
> > > 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
> > >do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just
> > >say
> > >it!
> > >
> > > 1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a
> > >calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
> > >
> > > 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think
> > >we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good
> > >with your dress?
> > >
> > > 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
> > >question.
> > >
> > > 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
> > >That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> > >
> > > 1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
> > >
> > > 1. Check your oil! Please.
> > >
> > > 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
> > >fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
> > >
> > > 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We
> > >refuse to answer.
> > >
> > > 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of
> > >the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
> > >
> > > 1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
> > >
> > > 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
> > >done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
> > >yourself.
> > >
> > > 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> > > commercials.
> > >
> > > 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
> > >
> > >
> > > 1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two
> > >months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your
> > >girlfriends.
> > >
> > > 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
> > >Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We
> > >have
> > >no idea what mauve is.
> > >
> > > 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
> > >
> > > 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of
> > > mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
> > >
> > > 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
> > >nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
> > >hassle.
> > >
> > > 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
> > >answer you don't want to hear.
> > >
> > > 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
> > >fine. Really.
> > >
> > > 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
> > >discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster
> > >trucks.
> > >
> > > 1. You have enough clothes.
> > >
> > > 1. You have too many shoes.
> > >
> > > 1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee
> > >or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what the hell they're
> > >saying anyway.)
> > >
> > > 1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz
> > >together.
> > > No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
> > >
> > > 1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
> > >
> > > 1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.
> > >
> > > 1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
> > >couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like
> > >camping.
> >
> >
> >Subject: Rules Men Live By
> >
> >
> >The Rules -- This Time By Men
> > >
> > >We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
> > >from
> > >the male side. These are our rules!
> > >PLEASE NOTE: These are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
> > >
> > > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
> > >it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching
> > >about you leaving it down.
> > >
> > > 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
> > >
> > > 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
> > >tides. Let it be.
> > >
> > > 1 . Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of
> > >it that way.
> > >
> > > 1. Crying is blackmail.
> > >
> > > 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
> > >do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just
> > >say
> > >it!
> > >
> > > 1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a
> > >calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
> > >
> > > 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think
> > >we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good
> > >with your dress?
> > >
> > > 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
> > >question.
> > >
> > > 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
> > >That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> > >
> > > 1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
> > >
> > > 1. Check your oil! Please.
> > >
> > > 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
> > >fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
> > >
> > > 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We
> > >refuse to answer.
> > >
> > > 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of
> > >the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
> > >
> > > 1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
> > >
> > > 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
> > >done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
> > >yourself.
> > >
> > > 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> > > commercials.
> > >
> > > 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
> > >
> > >
> > > 1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two
> > >months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your
> > >girlfriends.
> > >
> > > 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
> > >Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We
> > >have
> > >no idea what mauve is.
> > >
> > > 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
> > >
> > > 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of
> > > mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
> > >
> > > 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
> > >nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
> > >hassle.
> > >
> > > 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
> > >answer you don't want to hear.
> > >
> > > 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
> > >fine. Really.
> > >
> > > 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
> > >discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster
> > >trucks.
> > >
> > > 1. You have enough clothes.
> > >
> > > 1. You have too many shoes.
> > >
> > > 1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee
> > >or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what the hell they're
> > >saying anyway.)
> > >
> > > 1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz
> > >together.
> > > No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
> > >
> > > 1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
> > >
> > > 1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.
> > >
> > > 1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
> > >couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like
> > >camping.
> >
> >
Hallelujah!!! 
This is very true. Man, I hate that. Instead of acting all stupid and saying everything is fine although they don't act like it, instead they should just come out and say it. Once again, I'm not a mind reader.
What up bro?
