Relationship thread... but not the same as others

[Robert Jan]

I'm 18, I've had sex with one girl in my life, she turned 17 a month ago.
We don't really do much together except have sex. We've been out on 1 date during this time, and I bought her a gift once, on her birthday.
We've been together since January.
At first we were really in love and I thought she was the best etc... But around summer that started to fade from my side...
I never lied to her, she knew this was happening but didn't seem to care...
Since I feel like I'm taking advantage of her, she knows this too, and does not seem to care. She literally asks me to come over for sex or if she can come over for sex...
Now I am in University and she is still in High School. I see her once every two weeks tops. Also the sex seems to be getting less good. Somehow we do the same kind of thing we used to, but we can't get the intensity like it was... It used to be, as they call it, mindblowing.

Yesterday I slept over at her place... I came to her house around 11-12, we had sex, it was good because I needed some, but that's about it. I was very tired and slightly ill and really just put on a fairly lame show IMO.
Early in the morning she had to go to her weekend job, she left me sleeping.
I got up, took a shower, ate something and left. Now I'm in my students room again.

I just received the following text message....

"I want you to know what goes on in my head when I see you R.
Lust, melting, love... I get lost and keep quiet. The way you look at me, how could I feel any other way. I'm still in love, don't feel guilty. It's the way I am. If I'm bothering you with this, it's ok. I had to say this, even if it's in this way. I kiss you."(I hate this psychological crap, pathetic, while I'm not-)"


This is just proof that nothing I do makes a difference... I feel really guilty now. I think I neglect her, do not respect her as much as I should and she is just generally too kind and sweet and innocent for me. Am I a bastard for continueing to see her?... I feel like one. I feel like she is obviously out of it.

 

[Sweet_Bitch]

Ummm, yeah. I'm going to go with stop seeing her on this one, Alex. I could go in to why but I don't think you want to hear it.

 

[Robert Jan]

My name is not Alex...

Why don't I want to hear it? Were you going to say I'm an asshole?

Don't hold back if thats what you think...

 

[Sweet_Bitch]

Yeah, I know your name is not Alex, it's a reference to a game show host but nevermind-it's not amusing enough to explain.

No, wouldn't call you an asshole. I don't think you're being one-yet. But you need to stop seeing her. You will break her heart and just because she's fully aware of the situation it isn't right. And I'm not saying it's your fault or anything, I respect the fact that you were straight with her and that you're man enough to admit that she's nothing more then a piece of ass to you. But clearly, you mean much more to her. To be fair to her you have to walk away.

 

[Robert Jan]

Yeah, I know your name is not Alex, it's a reference to a game show host but nevermind-it's not amusing enough to explain.

No, wouldn't call you an asshole. I don't think you're being one-yet. But you need to stop seeing her. You will break her heart and just because she's fully aware of the situation it isn't right. And I'm not saying it's your fault or anything, I respect the fact that you were straight with her and that you're man enough to admit that she's nothing more then a piece of ass to you. But clearly, you mean much more to her. To be fair to her you have to walk away.

I'd have to tell her in person... I wouldn't break up with someone on a text message, or email. Then again I have to answer her something now. Can't really ignore a message like that... I think I'll tell her what I always tell her.... that shes really much too sweet for me and I don't deserve her.

 

[jh1]

Hey since she is up for it...

Just use it for all those dirty dirty fatasies you have or even might have.. .

Ya know... blow it on her face. Do it in the butt, then ask her to finish you off by giving you head..

Just get down and dirty.. make sure she knows that it is just dirty sex...


Eat it up orb..

Make sure to tell her to recruit a female friend to joing in for a BJ session...

Damn... that's heaven...

 

[EnderJE]

Just tell her that you have the hots for her father...that will end it quickly and painlessly.

 

[jerseyart]

Dude, she is willing to get together with you and do nothing else buthave sex.

That girl is a keeper

My advice is to continue the relationship as it is until she grows irritated and bored with being taken advantage of and then move on with her thinking it was her idea.

 

[Sweet_Bitch]

I'd have to tell her in person... I wouldn't break up with someone on a text message, or email. Then again I have to answer her something now. Can't really ignore a message like that... I think I'll tell her what I always tell her.... that shes really much too sweet for me and I don't deserve her.

Don't listen to them...well maybe Ejaculator...even I may have tried that way back when. But anyway, you're right tell her in person. Text her back that you two need to talk face to face and set up a time and place and leave it at that until then.


Oh, but get one last shag in before you tell her.

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

do blow a good thing

 

[Robert Jan]

Hey since she is up for it...

Just use it for all those dirty dirty fatasies you have or even might have.. .

Ya know... blow it on her face. Do it in the butt, then ask her to finish you off by giving you head..

Just get down and dirty.. make sure she knows that it is just dirty sex...


Eat it up orb..

Make sure to tell her to recruit a female friend to joing in for a BJ session...

Damn... that's heaven...

Been there, done that, on all of the above...
You are like the little red guy on my shoulder now man.

I can't really justify it... I can't even really talk to her. She gives me that "and this one time... at band camp..." feeling...

She's such a freaking flower-girl... I dont think there is anything in the world she hates. Shes so affecting and simple talking about the latest developments in her HS class...

I'm a cynical bastard, an arrogant one at that. In all honesty I think I'd need a bit of a jaded, rougher girl to be able to relate to her...

 

[jerseyart]

You're a good bor, and should listen to your instincts and do the right thing


But since you are breaking up with her, can I have her number?

 

[Sweet_Bitch]

Been there, done that, on all of the above...
You are like the little red guy on my shoulder now man.

I can't really justify it... I can't even really talk to her. She gives me that "and this one time... at band camp..." feeling...

She's such a freaking flower-girl... I dont think there is anything in the world she hates. Shes so affecting and simple talking about the latest developments in her HS class...

I'm a cynical bastard, an arrogant one at that. In all honesty I think I'd need a bit of a jaded, rougher girl to be able to relate to her...

While I can certanly understand the male perspective (i.e. keep her around to fuck, she's perfect, etc, etc, etc...) I truly think that the gentlemanly" thing to do would be to end it. Find yourself someone that you can carry on a conversation with. Sex is great, but eventually you have to talk.

 

[The Shadow]

I"
Lust, melting, love... I get lost and keep quiet. T

...thats a pretty hot statement

 

[Gymgurl]

RJ....remeber girls can't just have sex....most have to equate feelings with sex ...men are much better at distancing themselves...

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

RJ....remeber girls can't just have sex....most have to equate feelings with sex ...men are much better at distancing themselves...

guess you don't read the sopping wet vagina threads

 

[Robert Jan]

RJ....remeber girls can't just have sex....most have to equate feelings with sex ...men are much better at distancing themselves...

I guess so. The most sore thing is, probably if she wasn't so over the top and didnt worship me the way she seems to I'd be much more likely to be in love with her again. Likewise if I was truely into her... She may not feel the way she does now. It's a crazy thing...

I think I need feelings with sex too. Somehow when I was still in love too, our sex was so many times better.

 

[awittyusername]

I would guess that she doesn't feel as strong as she used to. (like you) However, since you were her first she will continue seeing you. It is harder for young girls to leave their first sexual relationship. They romanticize it more than guys do.

I have a theory that all young/first relationships last at least 33% longer than they should.

Break up with her. You will regret not being single at this time in your life.

 

[jerseyart]

RJ....remeber girls can't just have sex....most have to equate feelings with sex ...men are much better at distancing themselves...

Awww, you do love me

 

[Raina]

I don't think you're an asshole or that you should feel like one because your feelins are changing for her. Such is life. If you feel like the two of you are growing apart then you should probably be fair to both of you and end it. Sure you feel like a jerk when you split up with someone who doesn't want to split up but in the long run it's the best thing to do.

It has to be hard for you to be in university and her to be in HS. You're living in a different world, meeting new people, figuring out more of who you are and what you want in life, etc. Ponder it for a bit and ask yourself if you can be truly content with her. If not, move on....and don't feel guilty about it either. People grow apart sometimes.

 

[jerseyart]

I don't think you're an asshole or that you should feel like one because your feelins are changing for her. Such is life. If you feel like the two of you are growing apart then you should probably be fair to both of you and end it. Sure you feel like a jerk when you split up with someone who doesn't want to split up but in the long run it's the best thing to do.

It has to be hard for you to be in university and her to be in HS. You're living in a different world, meeting new people, figuring out more of who you are and what you want in life, etc. Ponder it for a bit and ask yourself if you can be truly content with her. If not, move on....and don't feel guilty about it either. People grow apart sometimes.

No, trust mne, he's an asshole

 

[jerseyart]

All right Robbie , you're on your own

Good luck. Don't make any hasty decisions, and tap it once for me.

Decide now how you feel when shes banging some other dude, and your history. Be sure, cause its hard to take it all back and make it better afterwards. On the side moving on is your young age and lack of experience. For the most part these things are never intended to last.

Anyway my girl is ready to be picked up and Im outta here

 

[chesty]

this is the point where one has to make the choice to love the person or not...fallling in love is not an emotion and hence people fall out of love...real love is a choice to chose to love someone after the "in love" experience is gone...

So, it is really your choice...If you don't want to love her then the right thing to do is to tell her and break it off. She is only 17 and you are 18, trust me on this one...the odds are against you more than ever...

 

[*MissFit*]

Nah let her go.. if you don't care for her anymore.. This type of relionship could hurt her for future relationships

 

[Carmen]

RJ, in case sweet bitch doesn't know, is not from the US, so he wouldn't know who Alex trebec is (rj, he's a game show host).
RJ- you aren't doing anything wrong. you told her your feelings and you've been honest and eventually, she might start to feel disconnected and leave, but you were her first one- she'll always be attached to you. thats a good thing, not bad.

 

[Robert Jan]

RJ, in case sweet bitch doesn't know, is not from the US, so he wouldn't know who Alex trebec is (rj, he's a game show host).
RJ- you aren't doing anything wrong. you told her your feelings and you've been honest and eventually, she might start to feel disconnected and leave, but you were her first one- she'll always be attached to you. thats a good thing, not bad.

So do you think I should leave her or not?

Break up with her. You will regret not being single at this time in your life.

She actually tells me stuff like, "if you get a chance with a hot girl in uni don't hold back for me, provided you tell me all about it"

She came over once and I took her to class with me and I pointed out a girl I had been talking to the other day and she literally said shes very hot and that I should try and pursue her...

 

[chesty]

On the other hand she is using you and she already has another at her disposal and she is trying to let you down easy...

 

[Tink!]

So do you think I should leave her or not?



She actually tells me stuff like, "if you get a chance with a hot girl in uni don't hold back for me, provided you tell me all about it"

She came over once and I took her to class with me and I pointed out a girl I had been talking to the other day and she literally said shes very hot and that I should try and pursue her...

She is desperate...she thinks she loves you so deeply she would do and sacrafice anything to make it work with you. I feel you should end it. She will be hurt now, but it will be better for you both in the long run. The more you push, the more she will pull...have a face to face and end it. If you are feeling guilty, that should tell you something right there. IMO

 

[GoldenDelicious]

im predicting that youre going to let this girl go one way or the other and then regret it.

youre still young, as is she. if i were in your place, i would hold onto her for the simple reason taht youre both still changing, and so it is premature for you to make a decision based on the evidence that you have, because i tell you what, there is nothing like the innocence and comfort that you ahve in your first relationship. if theres a chance that you two will grow closer rather than further apart, i say keep doing it.

you might feel guilty because at the moment you think its all about sex, but under the surface, under all the issues that you are no doubt having as a young man (self validation through sex with many women, finding yourself, living up to preconceptions, all that stuff) you probably care for the girl more than you know. so do anything too rash. wait until she goes to university, so that your worlds line up a little better, then make a decision based on that.

i wish i could find something as comfortable as my first relationship, it was bliss. of course, i didnt know it at the time, and it ended. it bothers me now and again.

good luck

 

[SCK]

She actually tells me stuff like, "if you get a chance with a hot girl in uni don't hold back for me, provided you tell me all about it"

She came over once and I took her to class with me and I pointed out a girl I had been talking to the other day and she literally said shes very hot and that I should try and pursue her...

She loves you so much to the extent that she could watch you pursue another hot chic if it satisfy you?

Now that's dillusional.

Equally dillusional is you expecting that love and hot sex would last especially at your age. The reality is that she is only 17 years old and you yourself are only a year older than her: you guys are still young and you're telling us that you've got a relationship problem already? How the fuck are you going to deal with the future ones when they are going to hit you from all kinds of angles?

Robert, stop all this contingency with her for sex. If you are horny then go unemotionally pursue someone else or just jerk off. If you can't pick the hot ones then go and pay for sex (escort). As for her, this will be her first lesson to prepare her for the long roads ahead in relationships.

I really think that at your age you should NOT be in a relationship, just have sex and leave it at that. It is silly to have any meaningful relationships now- You were in love? My ass. Go to your fucking desk.

 

[Carmen]

So do you think I should leave her or not?



She actually tells me stuff like, "if you get a chance with a hot girl in uni don't hold back for me, provided you tell me all about it"

She came over once and I took her to class with me and I pointed out a girl I had been talking to the other day and she literally said shes very hot and that I should try and pursue her...

i see no reason to break up with her.
you've been honest and she'll eventually start to date someone else too.

 

[gonelifting]

She`s just too young to have anyone to compare you to. When she finds a decent guy, she`ll forget you. If you keep stringer her along (not that you`re doing that) she will never have that chance to meet someone else.

You`re young too, but very mature. Still, you don`t have much experience in relationships and it`s adding to this. This is like Puppy love, or a first love where you fall head over heals because it`s your first time or something JUST BECAUSE you`ve never done it before. A million things will change as you meet and fuck other women and she does the same.

Tell her exactly what you wrote in the first post. good luck.

 

[Moderate_THIS]

That text message must have taken two hours to write. Dump her.

 

[jstmitebe]

She is desperate...she thinks she loves you so deeply she would do and sacrafice anything to make it work with you. I feel you should end it. She will be hurt now, but it will be better for you both in the long run. The more you push, the more she will pull...have a face to face and end it. If you are feeling guilty, that should tell you something right there. IMO

desperate does that sound familar to you? you sound like someone who has been like the girl he is talking about?

but you are right he should end it. nobody should stay in a relationship that is onesided!!

i'm out

 

[Tink!]

desperate does that sound familar to you? you sound like someone who has been like the girl he is talking about?

but you are right he should end it. nobody should stay in a relationship that is onesided!!

i'm out

Yes it does sound familiar to me...i use to be that kind of girl...didn't realize my self worth. Never stopped to think about respect for myself, because i thought i loved him so deeply