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squat till ya drop
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Relationship advice PLEASE HELP stay or go??
- Thread starter squat till ya drop
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She's cheating on you bro
squat till ya drop
New member
What the hell are u talking about?
Hun is that you? 
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Sent from my VM670 using EliteFitness
Ask her to go to the gym with you under the guise of "doing more things together"
If that doesnt work you are shit out of luck because if you tell her shes overweight and unattractive she will instantly turn into a fire breathing dragon and burn you to a crisp.
By the way how is it that you have two kids and a house with this woman but didnt bother to get married? Is it because she is overweight thats stopping that?
squat till ya drop
New member
Finally somone with an intelligent answer. Well were both quite young still, she allways talks about gettin married but it scares the crap outta me and yes thats one of the reasons why. I dont no what to do, we have neither been in a relationship with anyone else before so being first loves n all makes it so much harder. She rly doesnt care about her appearance or weight at all
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Aren't you like 22 bro?
So have the topic of marriage been talked about between you guys, and if so how did it go?
If youve made two kids together and have a house then whats the difference if you just get married? In some states depending on your domestic situation you will have to just go through a divorce like proceeding even if you arent married because the court will view the substance of your situation as the same as married (common law etc).
Unless shes a complete idiot she has probably assumed you want to have one foot out the door for holding out on marriage and youre thinking about leaving. If you just straight up leave her get ready for child support payments and trying to figure out how to deal with the house/assets. If you stay just hope she agrees to start going to the gym with you, try to convince her that its important for health purposes, use every reason you can EXCEPT suggesting that shes fat and unattractive. If shes never been to a gym tell her to at least give it a try for a free week pass at the gym and hope she has a change of heart after actually getting her ass in a gym. If she wont go after going for a week or so then try another activity TOGETHER that will be good for losing weight like hiking or whatever. The thing is you are going to have to be right there by her side doing the activity also so as to not seem like an insensitive shallow asshole who just wants his woman to lose weight.
squat till ya drop
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Thanks alot I'll try this out. I Respect you for taking the time to try and help me
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WoodyO
New member
My money's on her being a deuce and a quarter.
it worked for you?
tryin2tone
New member
possibly deuce and a half
Tell her to put down the triple bacon cheeseburgers with large fries or you will get a forklift to carry her ass out of your house.
She'll understand.
She'll understand.
I see this ending up on a Jerry Springer episode.
Objection, Your Honor, she won't stop eating and having kids! I'm worried she'll start eating the kids!
tryin2tone
New member
Trust me, he ain't geigh
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so he's bi. Whatever.
Christ, did you get more tattoos? When do you turn black?
gatemoney
Banned
Can i deuce?
tryin2tone
New member
She would have done that even if he wouldn't have called her fat. He could have been supportive in every way, loved her regardless of her size/weight and never asked her to go to the gym or lose weight, etc., and if she would have lost weight or done whatever to get that attention from other men, she would have cheated regardless, given the chance.
Bitches are scandalous.
I agree with you.
What I thought was funny about the story was that this chick was all set to leave her husband for this other guy. She admits the affair to her man, goes to her lover and tells him she loves him and she cut her husband loose, and her lover immediately dumps her. Yep, he just wanted to hit it and quit it.
Lol poetic justice maybe?
E
EarthRider
Guest
yeah this one guy i know had a whale of a wife. She lost her weight and started getting attention. So finally when she looks good she cheats on him. God that must have sucked for him she finally looks good and leaves.
Fitguy308
Banned
What a bitch
Good! I hope there's more where that came from.
scandalous!
Quit being a pussy and tell her the truth.
I've gone through way too many rounds of half truths and avoiding issues in relationships, whether they were personal or family relationships, to know that the bold honest truth is the best thing.
Tell her that you have been becoming less attracted to her because she has gained lots of weight and want her to start living a healthy lifestyle, lose weight and in turn markedly improve the health of your relationship emotionally and sexually, and will make both of you happier and it's the best thing for your children to have two happy, committed patents to raise them.
If you beat around the bush, you are doing it wrong.
I've gone through way too many rounds of half truths and avoiding issues in relationships, whether they were personal or family relationships, to know that the bold honest truth is the best thing.
Tell her that you have been becoming less attracted to her because she has gained lots of weight and want her to start living a healthy lifestyle, lose weight and in turn markedly improve the health of your relationship emotionally and sexually, and will make both of you happier and it's the best thing for your children to have two happy, committed patents to raise them.
If you beat around the bush, you are doing it wrong.
squat till ya drop
New member
Have fun losing her
Who cares if he loses her...he wont be spending so much on cheeseburgers and fried mayonaise cake.
He also won't have to contemplate chewing his arm off every morning to keep from waking the wildebeast...
Win/win.
He also won't have to contemplate chewing his arm off every morning to keep from waking the wildebeast...
Win/win.
One way is a sure fire way to lose her, and that's letting the issue fester until the breaking point.
Being honest in a kind, yet direct way is the only way to properly deal with the issue. If she bitches out, then so be it. Or she may actually realize that he's right and she needs to get healthy and fit. She may also open up to him about stuff he does that drives her nuts that he's unaware of and both parties get the steam depressurized and restrengthen their relationship.
My uncle told his daughter she was getting fat and needed to exercise and eat right. She is grateful all these years later for that because she is healthy, fit and attractive. RIP my uncle, it's been almost 5 years, stupid brain cancer.
Tell her the truth, it's the only way. It's hard, the words will have to be forced out of your mouth but do it. The fact that it's hard means you actually care and want things to improve and move forward happily.
that was his daughter bro, not his wife.
Bet he wouldn't have said the same things to his wife! He'd have been dead a lot sooner if he did.
The principle remains the same, which is that something was said because he loved her.
This guy is losing his interest in his woman because she is packing on the pounds and is thinking about leaving her because it's affecting him that much. So, he can leave and not deal with it or come clean and atleast try to make it better.
Trust me, I know that telling a girl she is fat will piss her off, but she already knows she is fat if it's that bad that the guy is going to leave her.
I have an awesome female friend that is a total sweetheart, but she is a very big girl. She asked me once why she is not relationship material for me, and I told her the truth. I told her that men are typically not attracted to big girls, and I am attracted to fit looking girls. She cried, but she thanked me for being honest and we are still way good friends.
A) Do nothing and bail. Not the right thing to do, especially with kids.
B) Address the issues and try to make it work, even if she gets pissed.
C) Do nothing and stay, deal with the displeasure of your declining attraction and sex life, and be unhappy.
There have been some wonderfully thoughtful responses in this thread but what everyone seems to be overlooking is this little comment that is very telling:
She KNOWS she's fat. SHE does not care about it. How many times must people be told: "You Can't Make Someone Else Change. They Have to Want to Change for Themselves." And newsflash, people who have addictions, who are obese, who smoke or drink or whatever are damned good and aware of these problems, but the pleasure they get from their various indulgences far outweigh the desire to make, and the effort to achieve, lifestyle changes.
Now, should this couple have a serious talk to clear the air? Absolutely, but it doesn't mean either party will necessarily hear/listen, care or take action. The fact is, we don't know what all's going on here. It's a young couple, they were each others firsts, you don't know what their finances are, you don't know what emotional states are, what degree of reality check versus unfulfilled expectations are going on and you only have half the story ... the list goes on and on. Hell, for all we know the pregnancies screwed up her metabolism -- it does happen and it's happened to some very healthy and hot women on this board -- maybe he's a shitty husband or uninvolved/disconnected/absentee father, maybe she's depressed/lonely/bored, WTF KNOWS?! All we know is he doesn't find his wife sexy, what do we know about what she's feeling? (not giving a crap about your appearance, especially in a young woman with a healthy sex drive, is not normal).
Long story short, he might be able to blackmail her into losing weight but the end result, if she loses weight to please him not to fulfill herself, will be she'll lose weight and gain it back in spades, sooner or later. I don't care how much you love someone, you cannot love change into them
The answer, Squat, is you decide if you want to be honest with yourself and how you really feel about things, and if you really want to hear what she has to say, and then you sit down in a nice neutral location and have a serious talk. The rest is up to her.
She KNOWS she's fat. SHE does not care about it. How many times must people be told: "You Can't Make Someone Else Change. They Have to Want to Change for Themselves." And newsflash, people who have addictions, who are obese, who smoke or drink or whatever are damned good and aware of these problems, but the pleasure they get from their various indulgences far outweigh the desire to make, and the effort to achieve, lifestyle changes.
Now, should this couple have a serious talk to clear the air? Absolutely, but it doesn't mean either party will necessarily hear/listen, care or take action. The fact is, we don't know what all's going on here. It's a young couple, they were each others firsts, you don't know what their finances are, you don't know what emotional states are, what degree of reality check versus unfulfilled expectations are going on and you only have half the story ... the list goes on and on. Hell, for all we know the pregnancies screwed up her metabolism -- it does happen and it's happened to some very healthy and hot women on this board -- maybe he's a shitty husband or uninvolved/disconnected/absentee father, maybe she's depressed/lonely/bored, WTF KNOWS?! All we know is he doesn't find his wife sexy, what do we know about what she's feeling? (not giving a crap about your appearance, especially in a young woman with a healthy sex drive, is not normal).
Long story short, he might be able to blackmail her into losing weight but the end result, if she loses weight to please him not to fulfill herself, will be she'll lose weight and gain it back in spades, sooner or later. I don't care how much you love someone, you cannot love change into them
The answer, Squat, is you decide if you want to be honest with yourself and how you really feel about things, and if you really want to hear what she has to say, and then you sit down in a nice neutral location and have a serious talk. The rest is up to her.
My gf for most of college began to gain weight soon after we graduated. I was going to the gym 5 days a wk and she'd go to happy hour with her new work friends. Everything was still fine for about 5 or 6 months but she was slowly gaining. Id say she was about 120 in school and had put on about 25. But she was also just super slow and winded constantly if we went hiking or skiing. After a lot of worrying I finally told her that her unhealthy choices were starting to concern me and it be good for us to keep a healthy lifestyle together. Well.... She flipped fuckin out. Her friends hated me b/c she went straight to them and they made it purely into a fat thing. We broke up soon after. It was a pretty rough situation. So after a couple months I called her to see how she was and she had gone ballastic with getting back in shape. She was training for a duathlon, took up mountain biking, got back into snow skiing, just went nuts. We met up a couple times for lunch and she was really happy and looked amazing. She wouldn't say it but I think she eventually appreciated me confronting her about letting herself go.
We started dating again eventually after I she thought about it and I reminded her continuously that she took it the wrong way.
Sent using the elitefitness app.
We started dating again eventually after I she thought about it and I reminded her continuously that she took it the wrong way.
Sent using the elitefitness app.
I agree with this. I think if she loves him and he approaches it delicately it might just work.
