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New member
Russias greatest love machine..
Holy fvck am I every bored.
Holy fvck am I every bored.
Ra ra rasputin
- Thread starter psychedout
- Start date
He had the original Dick Of Death. And it was apptly named so. A whopping 13 inches. And it was supposed to possess magical powers. I shit you not. If you were ill (cancer, dementia) or having bad luck... he would fuck you and "cure" you. If your disease or bad luck did not clear up, you were deemed "tainted" and put to death with no trial.
When he was murdered, before they set him on fire, they cut his dick off.
When he was murdered, before they set him on fire, they cut his dick off.
juve
New member
What? He was never set on fire. The attempt on his life included:AAP said:
assassin put cyanide in the pastries, but didn't know sugar neutralizes cyanide. Next he was shot at and stabbed and then dropped under ice in the river. It appears that his death was due to drowning, and not the gun wounds - quite a phenomenal man. Only 50cent compares with his 9 gun wounds and 2 stab wounds
Rasputin was a great Vodka in Russia also
sconoscuito
Banned
yea he got shot and when everyone thought he was dead he got up and walked
fucked up shit
who said he got a 13 inch dick? thats all some bs
he never fucked the queens son that had a disease
fucked up shit
who said he got a 13 inch dick? thats all some bs
he never fucked the queens son that had a disease
sconoscuito
Banned
I thought you were?
Ok, I fucking quit.
The first link I brought up contained these wonderful gems...
enough to make me stop looking for more...
********************
According to Rasputin’s daughter, Maria, her father’s penis was 13 inches long when erect. So perhaps his profound influence at the Russian imperial court was more than spiritual. How Ms Rasputin came to have this information is not known, though some say she acquired that very organ as a keepsake after his death.
***********************************
It has been alleged that Grigori frequented St Petersburg’s bathhouses and was seen entering, with both aristocrats and prostitutes, these places of sex, magic and superstition, where he performed rituals in which he attempted to exorcise the demons of lechery by literally beating them out of women. Afterwards he would have intercourse with them. We all know the value of “kiss and make up”. Women who rejected this treatment or who did not respond to the exorcism were usually stoned or beaten until maimed or dead.
*************************
One society woman, Olga Lokhtina, was so affected by the charismatic peasant that she thought he was Christ and she the Virgin Mary; she even left her rich husband and children for him. On one occasion, it is said, Rasputin was observed violently beating her while she held on to his schlong, shouting, “I am your ewe, and you are Christ.”
********************************************
It is widely believed that on the night of Rasputin’s murder (December 16 by the Julian calendar that was still used in Russia at the time, but December 30 according to the Gregorian calendar), the great member was severed from his body and flung across the scene of the crime: the dining room in the basement of the palace of Prince Felix Yussupov, one of his murderers.
**********************************
But there was more – in its own velvet pouch, a black, wizened object (eeeyewww!) was found resembling the uncircumcised helmet (glans) of a penis. An accompanying note identified it as Rasputin's john thomas and stated that Marie Rasputin had been given it by Rasputin's maid and former lover, who claimed she'd been present at his dismemberment.
******************************************
Apparently if you're a crazy monk with intense B.O. who's fucking everyone in sight while becoming one of the most powerful people in the country, people will talk. Between the scandal and the power-mongering, it was inevitable that the Mad Monk would piss off the Russian nobility.
You would think that Rasputin's enemies would come from the highest and noblest strata of Russian society, but most of the upright Russians were off at war, leaving the task to gay transvestite Prince Felix Yusupov (who some claimed was himself fucking Rasputin), his fag-hag best buddy Duke Dmitri, a loud-mouthed member of the Parliament, an injured soldier and a doctor (whose primary utility to the plot was that he was the only one who could drive).
**************************************
The plot itself was fairly simple. Its execution, however, would be legendary in its difficulty. If you thought the Terminator was hard to kill... well, granted, the Terminator was pretty hard to kill. But so was Rasputin, which is my point.
What could possibly go wrong?
The trouble began right off the bat when Mrs. Felix, perhaps not enamored of her life as the spouse of a gay transvestite, refused to assist in the pretext part. The plotters decided they would just pretend she was there instead.
Rasputin and Felix made their rendezvous on the evening of December 16, 1916. Felix offered Rasputin a selection of poisoned pastries. Rasputin declined, saying they were too sweet. Whoops! Then, Felix offered him some poisoned wine. Rasputin refused that as well. Piqued, Felix excused himself and left the room, to consult with his co-conspirators.
When he came back, much to his relief, Rasputin was eating the poison pastries and decided to wash them down with the poison wine. Felix sat back gleefully and waited for the poison to kick in. And he waited. And waited.
The evening stretched on and on, with no sign of the fast-acting poison's effects. Incapable of making a decision on his own, Felix again left the room to consult with his cronies. Since the subtle approach didn't appear to be working, Felix scored a gun from one of his friends and returned to Rasputin, and BANG! Point blank, one shot, and Rasputin hit the ground. After checking to be sure the monk was dead, Felix and his cohort celebrated with a few rounds of non-poisoned wine, then returned to fetch the body for disposal.
Alas, this just wasn't Felix's night.
The dead Rasputin sprang up from the floor when his body was disturbed and attempted to strangle the prince, who FREAKED OUT, MAN! Felix fled, while one of his co-conspirators (the loud-mouthed member of parliament) took off after Rasputin, who was dashing out of the building screaming that he would tell the Tsarina about this atrocity.
Loud-mouth emptied his entire pistol in Rasputin, missing the first few shots before scoring a hit in the back. Rasputin stopped running, but didn't fall. Loud-moth shot him in the head. This time, he actually fell, but he kept crawling away. The legislator kicked Rasputin in the head. Still no luck.
The conspirators pulled the monk's body inside to avoid the scrutiny of a policeman who had heard the shots. Once inside, Terrified of being discovered with such an important corpse on their hands, they attempt to burn his face beyond recognition should they be stopped while transporting the body. Apparently, the oil and sweat on the monks face would not allow anything more than skin blisters to form, so the newly encouraged Felix beat Rasputin's head to pieces with a barbell. After wrapping his body in canvas, the plotters were dismayed to discover that Rasputin was STILL breathing. At this point, the plotters apparently decided to hack off the Mad Monk's 13-inch love tool.
Finally, they tied him up and threw him in the river. When his body was found a few days later, he appeared to have been STILL alive underwater and clawing to get out of the ropes. There was also enough water in his lungs to support this premise, and three bullets lodged in various regions of the body.
Within a year of the murder, the entire Romanov family had joined Rasputin in the great beyond, a development that some attributed to a dying curse while others chalked it up to the political ramifications of a bunch of royal fuckers murdering a peasant (albeit a powerful and freaky one). It didn't help that the killers were punished only with exile.
The first link I brought up contained these wonderful gems...
enough to make me stop looking for more...
********************
According to Rasputin’s daughter, Maria, her father’s penis was 13 inches long when erect. So perhaps his profound influence at the Russian imperial court was more than spiritual. How Ms Rasputin came to have this information is not known, though some say she acquired that very organ as a keepsake after his death.
***********************************
It has been alleged that Grigori frequented St Petersburg’s bathhouses and was seen entering, with both aristocrats and prostitutes, these places of sex, magic and superstition, where he performed rituals in which he attempted to exorcise the demons of lechery by literally beating them out of women. Afterwards he would have intercourse with them. We all know the value of “kiss and make up”. Women who rejected this treatment or who did not respond to the exorcism were usually stoned or beaten until maimed or dead.
*************************
One society woman, Olga Lokhtina, was so affected by the charismatic peasant that she thought he was Christ and she the Virgin Mary; she even left her rich husband and children for him. On one occasion, it is said, Rasputin was observed violently beating her while she held on to his schlong, shouting, “I am your ewe, and you are Christ.”
********************************************
It is widely believed that on the night of Rasputin’s murder (December 16 by the Julian calendar that was still used in Russia at the time, but December 30 according to the Gregorian calendar), the great member was severed from his body and flung across the scene of the crime: the dining room in the basement of the palace of Prince Felix Yussupov, one of his murderers.
**********************************
But there was more – in its own velvet pouch, a black, wizened object (eeeyewww!) was found resembling the uncircumcised helmet (glans) of a penis. An accompanying note identified it as Rasputin's john thomas and stated that Marie Rasputin had been given it by Rasputin's maid and former lover, who claimed she'd been present at his dismemberment.
******************************************
Apparently if you're a crazy monk with intense B.O. who's fucking everyone in sight while becoming one of the most powerful people in the country, people will talk. Between the scandal and the power-mongering, it was inevitable that the Mad Monk would piss off the Russian nobility.
You would think that Rasputin's enemies would come from the highest and noblest strata of Russian society, but most of the upright Russians were off at war, leaving the task to gay transvestite Prince Felix Yusupov (who some claimed was himself fucking Rasputin), his fag-hag best buddy Duke Dmitri, a loud-mouthed member of the Parliament, an injured soldier and a doctor (whose primary utility to the plot was that he was the only one who could drive).
**************************************
The plot itself was fairly simple. Its execution, however, would be legendary in its difficulty. If you thought the Terminator was hard to kill... well, granted, the Terminator was pretty hard to kill. But so was Rasputin, which is my point.
What could possibly go wrong?
The trouble began right off the bat when Mrs. Felix, perhaps not enamored of her life as the spouse of a gay transvestite, refused to assist in the pretext part. The plotters decided they would just pretend she was there instead.
Rasputin and Felix made their rendezvous on the evening of December 16, 1916. Felix offered Rasputin a selection of poisoned pastries. Rasputin declined, saying they were too sweet. Whoops! Then, Felix offered him some poisoned wine. Rasputin refused that as well. Piqued, Felix excused himself and left the room, to consult with his co-conspirators.
When he came back, much to his relief, Rasputin was eating the poison pastries and decided to wash them down with the poison wine. Felix sat back gleefully and waited for the poison to kick in. And he waited. And waited.
The evening stretched on and on, with no sign of the fast-acting poison's effects. Incapable of making a decision on his own, Felix again left the room to consult with his cronies. Since the subtle approach didn't appear to be working, Felix scored a gun from one of his friends and returned to Rasputin, and BANG! Point blank, one shot, and Rasputin hit the ground. After checking to be sure the monk was dead, Felix and his cohort celebrated with a few rounds of non-poisoned wine, then returned to fetch the body for disposal.
Alas, this just wasn't Felix's night.
The dead Rasputin sprang up from the floor when his body was disturbed and attempted to strangle the prince, who FREAKED OUT, MAN! Felix fled, while one of his co-conspirators (the loud-mouthed member of parliament) took off after Rasputin, who was dashing out of the building screaming that he would tell the Tsarina about this atrocity.
Loud-mouth emptied his entire pistol in Rasputin, missing the first few shots before scoring a hit in the back. Rasputin stopped running, but didn't fall. Loud-moth shot him in the head. This time, he actually fell, but he kept crawling away. The legislator kicked Rasputin in the head. Still no luck.
The conspirators pulled the monk's body inside to avoid the scrutiny of a policeman who had heard the shots. Once inside, Terrified of being discovered with such an important corpse on their hands, they attempt to burn his face beyond recognition should they be stopped while transporting the body. Apparently, the oil and sweat on the monks face would not allow anything more than skin blisters to form, so the newly encouraged Felix beat Rasputin's head to pieces with a barbell. After wrapping his body in canvas, the plotters were dismayed to discover that Rasputin was STILL breathing. At this point, the plotters apparently decided to hack off the Mad Monk's 13-inch love tool.
Finally, they tied him up and threw him in the river. When his body was found a few days later, he appeared to have been STILL alive underwater and clawing to get out of the ropes. There was also enough water in his lungs to support this premise, and three bullets lodged in various regions of the body.
Within a year of the murder, the entire Romanov family had joined Rasputin in the great beyond, a development that some attributed to a dying curse while others chalked it up to the political ramifications of a bunch of royal fuckers murdering a peasant (albeit a powerful and freaky one). It didn't help that the killers were punished only with exile.
rnch said:
I got the idea from the half time stripper. Though his website isn't that good.
www.thestreaker.org.uk
