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Proposing: Are You Ready for Married Life?

  • Thread starter Thread starter HighIntensity
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HighIntensity

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So you're in a relationship, and you're thinking about taking the plunge of all plunges -- marriage! How can you be sure, really sure, that you're making the right decision? While there is no garentee if your relationsip fits these profiles your probley in decent shape.



RELATIONSHIP
· You go to each other for advice, and you almost always come away feeling better about things.
· You are supportive of each other's decisions, even when they suck -- er, we mean, you just don't agree with them.
· You tell your honey when he/she has hurt you, instead of holding a grudge.
· You are generally able to resolve fights to your mutual satisfaction.
· You both know that relationships take work, and you are willing to go the distance.
· You respect, admire, listen to and just plain like each other, gosh darn it!
· You share enough of the same interests and friends that you don't feel like you are always on your own.

MONEY
· You have similar spending/saving habits, or you've discussed how you'll each compromise to keep the peace.
· You have the same attitude about paying bills or debt management.
· You are aware of each other's total present debt, if any.
· You have discussed how you will merge your finances once you get married, and you are comfortable with the plan.
· You have told your honey about all your assets and have no hidden nest eggs, "just in case."
· You have similar definitions of a "comfortable" income, and similar or symbiotic income goals.

SEX
· Your sexual needs are compatible, and you are both satisfied with your lives between the sheets (on the kitchen table, in the shower, wherever).
· You are comfortable giving and taking sexual suggestions and requests.
· Birth control is something you consider a joint responsibility, and you have openly discussed your options and preferences.
· You use sex as a healthy and FUN expression of your LOVE, not as a way to gloss over problematic issues in your relationship, a weapon, or an easy way to solve disputes (without addressing the root of the argument).
· You've 'fessed up about your sexual past (at least most of it!) and had frank discussions about STDs and previous partners (or lack thereof).

FAMILY
· You generally get along with each other's families (we're not talking about a sappy love fest, just general friendliness and goodwill), and if not, you've at least discussed to what extent they will play a role in your future family life.
· You are willing and prepared to regard each other as your most important familial relationship after you get married.
· You have similar religious beliefs or you have discussed how to incorporate religion into your future family.
· You've talked about children -- how many you want, or if you want them at all.
· You've considered not only the future responsibility of caring for your honey, but also the possibility of caring for their parents or other family members.

once apon a time a believed I was ready to get married...once upon a time, tread carefully
 
I am ready to be married and to share my life with my significant other, but I am not stupid enough to rush into things...I know time is a factor in everything I do, and every decision that is made, and I will always keep that in mind.
 
I think about it a lot, but I have an overall negative view of what marriage is like. I guess I just need to find the right person - someone I can trust.
 
I've been married to my bride for 13 years today. We have a great relationship and we have become part of one another. I wouldn't change a thing. We exchanged letters we wrote to each other this morning. It was great to hear the words from each other's hearts.
 
Days of the Tantric said:


Congrats bro. My anniv is 3 years next Tuesday.

Thanks. 3 years? You guys are still on the honeymoon. Be honest with each other and look out for each other and it'll last forever.
That's sound marriage advice from Satan!:D
 
I've been married almost 14 years. DAMN!!!! I can say that for the most part your list is very unrealistic because people change overtime. Always have, always will. One thing though, we look out for each other, share everything where into with each other and are best friends.
 
Although marriage can be a good thing, its also a form of attachment/agreement that should not be.
Attachments/agreements/contracts/legal bindings all cause problems.
I think its the same if not better if 2 people can stay together there entire lives without marriage.
Marriage is a traditional crock of poop.

I rather stay with one person and not be married, just be. peace(thats just my opinion)
 
I agree...there are also psychological reasons (I'm guessing) why marriage turns the relationship into cold soup....
 
I'm almost 23 years old, I have NO plans on being married in the next 5 years. Marriage is a vow to the other person that you will be with them till death, at 23, I can't see that happening. How do I know that she or I may meet someone else? Be attracted to someone else? Can't guarantee it. My philosophy is to take life's pitches as they come, destiny is laid out, God has my wife picked out (and I whole heartedly believe this), till then i'm a go out, have fun, and live life how I feel it should be lived at that moment.
 
After 16 years, my wife and I have agreed to simply stop speaking to one another unless absolutely neccesary.
Thereby avoiding most of this Stuff.. :D
 
Y_Lifter said:
After 16 years, my wife and I have agreed to simply stop speaking to one another unless absolutely neccesary.
Thereby avoiding most of this Stuff.. :D

Are you serious? That's so fucked up I can't even make a joke about it.
 
pauly said:
I'm almost 23 years old, I have NO plans on being married in the next 5 years. Marriage is a vow to the other person that you will be with them till death, at 23, I can't see that happening. How do I know that she or I may meet someone else? Be attracted to someone else? Can't guarantee it. My philosophy is to take life's pitches as they come, destiny is laid out, God has my wife picked out (and I whole heartedly believe this), till then i'm a go out, have fun, and live life how I feel it should be lived at that moment.

I didn't get married until I was 29, had been with my now wife for four years, lived together for three, and made the commitment with her to relocate from Minnesota to Arizona. In my opinion getting married before 25 or 26 as a man is a stupid thing to do. You need to have some time to understand who you are, get your life in order, and like you said have some fun. Otherwise in 15-20 years you'll end up like the father in the HBO documentary "Small Town Ectasy."
 
Originally posted by frorider6
Are you serious? That's so fucked up I can't even make a joke about it.

Hell No I'm not being Serious...

But I will say we are so comfortable with each other that we can sometimes go a whole day without talking, if it's just me and her.
Maybe just a Hi and a kiss and a few words here and there.

Car rides in silence without any BS bla bla bla

We have some deep WODIN style philosophical discussions though. Some where we agree to dis-agree
 
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