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To: superdave
From: Office of Management and Budget, Washington, D.C.
Cc: Dept. of Recreation and Boredom Management, Washington, D.C.
Cc: Federal Sexual Relief Program, Washington, D.C.
Re: Plumper Mission #458723
We have approved your request for pre-emptive strike on target #458723. The Office of Management and Budget has approved and allocated a budget of $20.00 maximum for this mission, due to previous unauthorized mission budget overruns and mission failures. The standard issue mission equipment and supplies of (2) XL condoms, (1)Affliction shirt, (1) Cargo pant, (1) Hurley camo hat, (1) stick doublemint gum, (1) 80’s mix CD, (1) contact case, and (2) sandals are also allocated and issued.
Target location has been confirmed and mission departure time set for 21:00 Saturday, please refer to blackberry for frequent objective updates in real time.
Preliminary mission objectives sequence:
21:15-acquire and engage target
21:45-feed target
22:45-administer legally authorized substances to target
23:45-return target to original location when substances take effect
23:46-infiltrate target home
23:50-engage target in coitus#
00:00-paint target, deliver payload
00:01-rendezvous to evacuation site vehicle*
*It is imperative to evacuate target home no later than one minute after payload is dropped due to target mental and physical state. Failure to evacuate may result in unauthorized overnight time budget expenditure with evacuation made the following morning.
#Please be advised that target may use counter-defenses consisting of (1) annoying child, (3) jealous friends, (unknown) inbound-outbound cell phone calls, (unknown) false mental and/or physical obstructions to mission objectives.
NOTE: Extensive internet reconnaissance of target predicts a high probability of mission success. Evidence shows target has very limited contact with opposite sex, usually resulting in ease of entry/engagement. Debriefing and elimination of mission evidence will commence upon successful return from mission (ETA 00:30 hours). Target may attempt to track rendezvous and return, an un-tracked and un-followed evacuation and return is critical for future mission successes. Should mission failure occur, there will be a restriction of funds authorized and disbursed for a minimum of five (5) missions thereafter and possible demotion, depending on severity of failure.
Target Image attached below
http://i84.photobucket.com/albums/k5/superdave1010101993/poster71188147.jpg
From: Office of Management and Budget, Washington, D.C.
Cc: Dept. of Recreation and Boredom Management, Washington, D.C.
Cc: Federal Sexual Relief Program, Washington, D.C.
Re: Plumper Mission #458723
We have approved your request for pre-emptive strike on target #458723. The Office of Management and Budget has approved and allocated a budget of $20.00 maximum for this mission, due to previous unauthorized mission budget overruns and mission failures. The standard issue mission equipment and supplies of (2) XL condoms, (1)Affliction shirt, (1) Cargo pant, (1) Hurley camo hat, (1) stick doublemint gum, (1) 80’s mix CD, (1) contact case, and (2) sandals are also allocated and issued.
Target location has been confirmed and mission departure time set for 21:00 Saturday, please refer to blackberry for frequent objective updates in real time.
Preliminary mission objectives sequence:
21:15-acquire and engage target
21:45-feed target
22:45-administer legally authorized substances to target
23:45-return target to original location when substances take effect
23:46-infiltrate target home
23:50-engage target in coitus#
00:00-paint target, deliver payload
00:01-rendezvous to evacuation site vehicle*
*It is imperative to evacuate target home no later than one minute after payload is dropped due to target mental and physical state. Failure to evacuate may result in unauthorized overnight time budget expenditure with evacuation made the following morning.
#Please be advised that target may use counter-defenses consisting of (1) annoying child, (3) jealous friends, (unknown) inbound-outbound cell phone calls, (unknown) false mental and/or physical obstructions to mission objectives.
NOTE: Extensive internet reconnaissance of target predicts a high probability of mission success. Evidence shows target has very limited contact with opposite sex, usually resulting in ease of entry/engagement. Debriefing and elimination of mission evidence will commence upon successful return from mission (ETA 00:30 hours). Target may attempt to track rendezvous and return, an un-tracked and un-followed evacuation and return is critical for future mission successes. Should mission failure occur, there will be a restriction of funds authorized and disbursed for a minimum of five (5) missions thereafter and possible demotion, depending on severity of failure.
Target Image attached below
http://i84.photobucket.com/albums/k5/superdave1010101993/poster71188147.jpg
