Personal Problems...Help...?

[Sebass67]

Ok...This is one of those things that happen when you grow up and it is bothering me. I live away from home now and have been really busy lately doing a musical rehearsal so i am tired and cranky to start. I expected my brother to come and than my brother and my mom come which was supposed to be a "surprise". Now, i made plans to hang out with my brother and all cause i want us to be tight but when my mom shows up i can't do jack. Reason being i can't make both happy at the same time. So at first i am already peeved that my mom is there and than she gives me crap for some things and i just get angrier. So we break into a fight and i say some things that were true but were painful to hear for my mom. I live 1 hr away from home and every time 2 weeks goes by and she doesn't see me she goes nuts. I tell her that i can go without seeing her for a long time and it would be just fine with me because we are only that far away and i know they will always be there. She gets really mad after this and when i tried to talk to her she just told me to leave her alone. So, my bro and her left i go back to rehearsals....

WTF! This is pissing me off.

What do i do now?? My mom is pissed...

 

[Virtual Acid]

Its normal she'll get over it , Just remember always be nice , yeah nice

 

[Sebass67]

I know i feel bad though. Tough to be nice sometimes, especially when it is a surprise...planned to spend some quality time with my brother.

 

[Crazier]

Give her a joint.

And no, I'm not kidding.
--

 

[Sebass67]

Ummm...hmmm...should i be scared of what she would say?

 

[Crazier]

Ummm...hmmm...should i be scared of what she would say?

Naturally.

However, you don't just give her the joint and say 'what' I'd really like mom is to borrow the car keys, see you later can I have them please.'

You sit down on the couch with her. You turn the lights off, and light a candle or two. The two of you then share the joint together. Although Kayne would start fucking his mom at this point, you should resist.

The two of you lay back on the couch and breathe deeply together. Due to the pot, the two of you will be able to discuss things that you normally wouldn't.

You don't say things that will hurt her. You basicly just explain what you did to us, in a more thought out manner.

Then you give her a hug and tell her you love her, and that you'll call her to stay in touch. She raised you for 18+ years... while it's easy for you to leave her place, it isn't so easy for her to see you go.

Communication is the pivotal difference in a relationship in any matter. Whether it be business relations, a spouse, girlfriend, or even friends... communication and the ability to speak truthfully and openly with each other is vital to any relationship.

Lack of communication causes misunderstanding. That's what you and your mom have right now.

The only reason I speak of a joint isn't so you can get fucked up with your mom. It's much more spiritual than that, for all the forementioned reasons above.
--

 

[Sebass67]

See i wish i could do that but since she is against that she would never do it. I just feel like she is to caught up with parenting me. It gets more complicated though. My mom still pays some of the bills for me as in what i can't pay for with a student loan and scholarship and i think she feels this gives her some sort of ownership to be able to tell me what to do and this is frustrating.

 

[OMEGA]

Listen man


( not in a condescending voice but rather as one male to another who is sympathetic)


this is your mother man

the women who brought you into the world and she is the one who has given you life, and who took care of you when you were sick...put food on the table........and kept you warm...........and taught you the best she could..........


Moms outweight the needs of all others in my opinion..especially when they get older......all they have is what they devoted the most vital and sacred years of their lives too.....and that is YOU.

she loves you and can't do with out you for long periods of time ........your moms heart is calling out to you just to be in your campany.

when you say " I could do with out seeing you for a while"

that is like a Knife in her heart

sure she'll make stupid comments from time to time, or rag on you, or even embarrass you in front of others......

but you know what bro.....thats you mom

and its OK

 

[Sebass67]

Hmm...see i know all that but i just don't know why i was so ready to fight tonight....

 

[Crazier]

See i wish i could do that but since she is against that she would never do it. I just feel like she is to caught up with parenting me. It gets more complicated though. My mom still pays some of the bills for me as in what i can't pay for with a student loan and scholarship and i think she feels this gives her some sort of ownership to be able to tell me what to do and this is frustrating.

I hear you on both of those points brother.

My mom wouldn't either. It'd be fun though... and definately an excellent bonding experience.

I remember the day's in college when my dad did the same thing. He'd help me, but then he'd have that over my head whenever a problem arose. I hated him having the ability to still do that when I was out of the hosue. At the same time, that money was nice.

I'm not sure how old you are, but no matter, always try to live your life knowing that at any time, you or your mother, or anyone else on this planet can be taken out of this game we call LIFE at any time.

If you live by this notion, regrets will no longer plague your mind when the final day comes. And if you always remember that today could be the last day you can give her mom a hug, you'll always treat her right. No matter how much she seems to be interfering with, or when it seems she is trying to run your life, just take a deep breath brother, for you have something to smile about... a mom that loves you and wants nothing but the best for. These are things that she is too afraid to tell you.

It's beautiful.
--