One life to live and you're doing it wrong

[Nathan]

You've got one life to live. You choose how you want to spend your time and who you want to spend it with. You choose a profession and you choose where you'll live and the lifestyle you want to lead. You imagine the perfect end to a perfect life filled with perfectly happy memories. You think what a wonderful world we live in where I can consciously decide on my own future and how it should all play out. A world where I can assess my skills and talents and plan accordingly to maximize my success in all things. But you forget that the word perfect is just that, a word. Does it even exist? Have you ever beheld a perfect sphere or a perfectly beautiful rose? How about a perfectly symmetric snowflake falling delicately onto the palm of a perfectly innocent child? Or perhaps a prefectly inspiring rainbow, viewed through the perfectly cut edges of a perfect prism? Why strive to fulfill a fantasy that isn't even based on anything existing in our own reality? Why push oneself to achieve something that isn't even there? The world is a far more frightening place than we let ourselves envision. We spend our days comforting ourselves by trying to fathom another world in which we are safe. A world where all our hopes and dreams will, beyond a shadow of a doubt, be realized. It's a waste of time but in truth, it is the best way to waste one's time. I'll continue to dream of all the things I might some day do and of the wonderful memories I'll amass. But when I reach the end I'm pretty damn sure I'll have done it all wrong and that it won't be enough. I will never realize the lofty goals I set for myself in life. I guess it doesn't really matter though. After all, no one wins in life. There are only players who are all governed and limited by the same rules. I wish I could break the rules.







Thoroughly depressed yet? Weeeeeeeee....

 

[BodhiDharma]

 

[casavant]

Awesome post, man. One of the best today. I hear ya loud and clear.

 

[Y_lifter]

 

[bigAragorn]

what up dawg

thats pretty deep bro.....i feel the same in that consciously picturing our goals in their succession is what leads to the stresses of life.....constantly wanting better, wanting more when we are missing out on the now...

 

[saint808]

that's uplifting compared to most of my thoughts...

 

[casavant]

I try to make more of a conscious effort to enjoy things in the here and now. Even when I'm experiencing some physical or emotional discomfort, I try to look at it as something that will magnify my pleasure when I get back to normal.

Really, we just kick and stumble and scratch blindly through life and end up with more questions than answers in the end. Hell, most of our day-to-day lives we can't even remember.

 

[beastboy]

My balls itch.....sorry just had to say it.

 

[Lumberg]

Drink flax seed oil!

 

[Torch]

Nathan is that you??

 

[Nathan]

Nathan is that you??

Uh, yeah that would be me. Why do you ask?

 

[Torch]

Uh, yeah that would be me. Why do you ask?

No reason, just thought that it didnt sound like you. Everything ok ?

 

[polarpixie]

Pretty pessimisitic view isn't it?

Have you ever beheld a perfect sphere or a perfectly beautiful rose? How about a perfectly symmetric snowflake falling delicately onto the palm of a perfectly innocent child? Or perhaps a prefectly inspiring rainbow, viewed through the perfectly cut edges of a perfect prism?

You're right, flawless perefection doesn't exist. But who the hell wants flawless perfection? Perfection is BORING. I prefer seeing perfection in imperfection.

 

[Nathan]

No reason, just thought that it didnt sound like you. Everything ok ?

Yep. You?

 

[Nathan]

Pretty pessimisitic view isn't it?


You're right, flawless perefection doesn't exist. But who the hell wants flawless perfection? Perfection is BORING. I prefer seeing perfection in imperfection.

That is a more optimistic view of things but it really wasn't the point of the thread. I also didn't mean one should simply give up on life or stop seeing things as beautiful or anything like that. I simply meant to address a delusion that gets us all through life. Nothing ever ends up as you imagine it. It is never as glorious or phenomenal or Earth-shattering as we conceive it to be in the beginning but we still find a way to live with it and even find happiness in what would otherwise be a complete and total disappointment. I guess it amazes me how we can all fool ourselves so completely every single day. We believe our own lies.

 

[polarpixie]

I guess it amazes me how we can all fool ourselves so completely every single day. We believe our own lies.

What do you mean by that? Are you referring to people believing there is a perfect life to strive towards? I've had the same thoughts before about how sad it was that people believe in their own lies, then I realized that I wasn't giving other people enough credit...no one is being played for a fool, everyone at one point comes to this realization.

I simply meant to address a delusion that gets us all through life. Nothing ever ends up as you imagine it. It is never as glorious or phenomenal or Earth-shattering as we conceive it to be in the beginning but we still find a way to live with it and even find happiness in what would otherwise be a complete and total disappointment.

No it's never as glorious or earth-shattering as you once believed it would be, but once you get past it, it's kind of fun to look back, laugh and remember fondly about how naive you used to be. You also gotta remember that it's not over til it's over.

What brought all this on? Are you not going to get to be an astronaut after all? (jk)

 

[Nathan]

I was bored and instead of being a spazz as usual I thought I'd be a bit more serious. The board usually gets me going and makes me manic but I thought I'd let it take me in the other direction this time. And I never was going to be an astronaut. That's not why I am in astrophysics. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure someone will fire me into deep space someday but it won't be for that reason unfortunately.

By believing our own lies I meant the following. There is the usual sense of fooling ourselves such as believing that if we don't eat that last cookie we'll lose weight. I meant it more to encapsulate the big lies. The earth-shattering lies if you will. Namely, that there is something more to life and the universe. That there are things we will never understand and as such shouldn't question. That everything will be fine and that when we get to the end of our lives it will have all been worth while. Well, I for one feel that when we get there it won't have mattered. We'll die and people will remember us for a while until those people die too and then we will be back to where we started. We will eventually return to our original state of oblivion with nothing so much as a thought fluttering through some old man's mind to give us life. Some are remembered longer than others but most cease to exist in much shorter a time. You know what, I'm sorry if this bums you out. I'll stop but I was having fun talking.

 

[Bullit]

We'll die and people will remember us for a while until those people die too and then we will be back to where we started.

So? How does this effect your enjoyment of life here and now?

 

[plornive]

I wish I could play life like a game, completely unaffected by my current emotions, and even most of the impending outcome of the game. Most people could achieve great things if they did this.

Happiness is an emotional balance mixed with sustained pleasure... or is it just extreme pleasure? It's all semantics, really. Just do what you want and have fun. If you want to do well, then proverbially jerk-off before the date. If you want extreme pleasure, don't.

 

[Nathan]

So? How does this effect your enjoyment of life here and now?

Well, it doesn't have to. Except that why enjoy oneself? For the memories? So you can look back and remember how much fun you had or how happy you were? Super. I like memories just as much as the next person but what is the point of collecting them if you're only going to have them stripped away from you in the end? It makes me think of minimalists who discard all their personal belongings since material possessions are fickle and temporary. It's what you hold inside that matters, right? But then you die and you lose that too and you are left with nothing. How convenient that no one sees that side of the page.

 

[Bullit]

Well, it doesn't have to. Except that why enjoy oneself? For the memories? So you can look back and remember how much fun you had or how happy you were? Super. I like memories just as much as the next person but what is the point of collecting them if you're only going to have them stripped away from you in the end? It makes me think of minimalists who discard all their personal belongings since material possessions are fickle and temporary. It's what you hold inside that matters, right? But then you die and you lose that too and you are left with nothing. How convenient that no one sees that side of the page.

Memories? You only want to enjoy something for the memories?
I want to have fun now because its by far the most preferable of all alternatives. If you remember it, you remember it... its about the here and now, not the memories.

 

[polarpixie]

What makes you think I'm bummed out by what you're saying? Keep talking if that's what you want to do, don't stop on the account of thinking you're bumming anyone out. If it does, they don't have to listen.

I think you're right about all of the above. Instead of being bummed out by it tho, it's kind of a relief to know that wherever I end up in life is where I end up. There is no right or wrong life goal or ultimate goal to be achieved and you don't need to stragetically plan for the perfect life, if that makes any sense.

 

[polarpixie]

Well, it doesn't have to. Except that why enjoy oneself? For the memories? So you can look back and remember how much fun you had or how happy you were? Super. I like memories just as much as the next person but what is the point of collecting them if you're only going to have them stripped away from you in the end? It makes me think of minimalists who discard all their personal belongings since material possessions are fickle and temporary. It's what you hold inside that matters, right? But then you die and you lose that too and you are left with nothing. How convenient that no one sees that side of the page.

So your point is why bother with having happy memories if in the end you're going to lose them anyway? But you see, when you die, you just die. You're not gonna care about losing any memories once you die. Your memories live for and are enjoyed for the time that you are are alive. What happens after you die is irrelevant.

 

[big4life]

Life is not about the memories that you take with you. It is all about the memories you leave behind.

Here is something I wrote several years ago, about someone that came into my life.

THE BREEZE

As I sit here on the beach watching the tide roll in, I can feel the breeze as it comes in off the water, bringing with it the fresh scent of the ocean and the memories of days gone by. The scent of your perfume, the same one that you wore the first day that we met. The aroma of steaks being cooked on an open grill. Remembering our first cookout, when we let the steaks turn into black charcoal bricks, because we were so busy talking to each other that we forgot all about them. The way your hair smelled so clean when you got out of the shower. Even the smell of that cologne that you bought me, the one that I could not stand the smell of, but I still wore it, because you liked it so. The way the wildflowers smelled in that meadow. The one you used to love to go to and just lay there, looking up at the clouds as they passed overhead. We spent hours there together, like we were the only two people in the world. I would tease you about how you could find the silliest images in the clouds, but deep down you always knew, that was one of the things that I loved most about you. How your imagination could take over and take you to anywhere in the world you wanted to go. The breeze will always be there, and it will bring many things into my life, but it will never take my memories from me.

 

[HumorMe]

Life is not about the memories that you take with you. It is all about the memories you leave behind.

Here is something I wrote several years ago, about someone that came into my life.

THE BREEZE

As I sit here on the beach watching the tide roll in, I can feel the breeze as it comes in off the water, bringing with it the fresh scent of the ocean and the memories of days gone by. The scent of your perfume, the same one that you wore the first day that we met. The aroma of steaks being cooked on an open grill. Remembering our first cookout, when we let the steaks turn into black charcoal bricks, because we were so busy talking to each other that we forgot all about them. The way your hair smelled so clean when you got out of the shower. Even the smell of that cologne that you bought me, the one that I could not stand the smell of, but I still wore it, because you liked it so. The way the wildflowers smelled in that meadow. The one you used to love to go to and just lay there, looking up at the clouds as they passed overhead. We spent hours there together, like we were the only two people in the world. I would tease you about how you could find the silliest images in the clouds, but deep down you always knew, that was one of the things that I loved most about you. How your imagination could take over and take you to anywhere in the world you wanted to go. The breeze will always be there, and it will bring many things into my life, but it will never take my memories from me.

Damn.......that is heavy duty stuff there big! Thanks for sharing that!

 

[casavant]

Well, it doesn't have to. Except that why enjoy oneself? For the memories? So you can look back and remember how much fun you had or how happy you were? Super. I like memories just as much as the next person but what is the point of collecting them if you're only going to have them stripped away from you in the end? It makes me think of minimalists who discard all their personal belongings since material possessions are fickle and temporary. It's what you hold inside that matters, right? But then you die and you lose that too and you are left with nothing. How convenient that no one sees that side of the page.

Damn, this is awesome. I ponder these same things all the time. Excellent post.

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

Well, it doesn't have to. Except that why enjoy oneself? For the memories? So you can look back and remember how much fun you had or how happy you were? Super. I like memories just as much as the next person but what is the point of collecting them if you're only going to have them stripped away from you in the end? It makes me think of minimalists who discard all their personal belongings since material possessions are fickle and temporary. It's what you hold inside that matters, right? But then you die and you lose that too and you are left with nothing. How convenient that no one sees that side of the page.

I have this internal struggle almost once a week at least. I always get melancholy when i think of happy memories and am going through lesser happier times. I try to convince myself that the present is more important, and NOBODY knows what will happen after this life, if you keep or lose your memories. I try to think that it is better to say you got the most out of this life without worrying about the next one.