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Need a lil Social help

p60

New member
Alright, so here's the situation:

I currently have no life.
Right now I'm 19 and am taking classes at a 2 year community college, some generals, before i move to a real 4 year school next year.
The thing that sucks is that my friends in high school who i'd still want to hang around with are off at other colleges, so basically i have nobody to hang around with at all.

Now i figured going to a community college wouldnt really change much, and i was right. Most ppl here hang with kids they either knew from high school, or church youth groups, etc.
This is my first semester here (spring). This fall I started going to a four year school, but had to back out due to major anxiety problems.

To add to my dillema of not having a life right now:

The other problem is that I still havent gotten a part time job yet, and I have virtually no hobbies because I have a problem with sitting around and wasting all my time (I know, I'm working on this). But heck, as you can imagine, having no hobbies makes it hard to relate to people.
And having no stronghold as friends makes it hard to make new friends, starting from scratch absolutely blows.

Now because I'm not the typically partier, weed smokin, drunk gettin, girl playin' kind of person, finding cool people to be around becomes a little more of a challenge.
I seriously want to find some friends who are more the church type, and all that, and unfortunately I don't have any of those right now as I didn't make them inside the youth group i was in, during high school.


Anyways, now to the actual scenario:

At this community school during the lunch hour, i've been sitting at this table, because this really cute and God loving girl, sits there who is in my physics class, but there's a disadvantage:
A former friend from high school who stopped hangin out with me and acted too good for me, and hung out with his church friends instead, is also sitting there, his name is John,
and with him is sitting many of his church friends.

This girl in my geology class who sits there (her name's katie) has a friend, another hot girl named Emily, who knows some these church friends. heh, and i think emily is even hooking up with one of them, but thats kind of another story.

Anyways, they are kinda growing a little bit of a new clique, and meanwhile I've been kinda sitting around and doing the best i can to make an effort to kinda fix things with my old friend, meet his church friends, and also get to know this girl,
and i've been trying hard to try but not make it look like im trying too hard, its tricky.

Meanwhile no success. Like they don't invite me along with any of the stuff that they do by themselves. Like concerts they go to, or skiing trips, etc. (wish i knew how to ski!!) It's funny, it didn't take them long to get to know each other (which happened before i started sitting there, within about 3 weeks i think) but for some reason when i'm sitting there, its like they wont even give me the time of day!

I mean I'm seriously trying my best to be social and open without making myself look too desperate or like im trying too hard.

but it's been a few weeks and i havent gotten anywhere! It's like these people hardly even notice me!
The only thing that me and my old friend got in common is that we both have the same English teacher in one of our classes.


Anyways this blows. If you made it this far reading all of the post, i would like to congratulate you for your dilligence,
and if you have any advice to give me here, it would be very well appreciated!!
 
I would tell you to take your college tuition money and use it towards TRULY improving your current mental health, by way of getting some prostitutes and weed. You would not only feel better, but your mind will be so blitzed from the good, green stuff as to disable you from being able to formulate any fears or worries of any kind.
 
Why do you even want to be friends with people that might not want to be friends with you? If you really want to get to know them, be proactive and ask one person out to go do something. Anything...watch a movie (tends to be good because there's no pressure on you to talk). It's easier to get to know strangers one on one than when they're with their peer group.

If they don't want to be friends, fine, leave it at that. You don't need friends that treat you second best. When your looking for a job, try and find a job where you would work with other people your age. I'm not a chuch goer myself, but I would assume the church offers some type of activities group where you could meet more people. Force yourself to do things you wouldn't normally do, just get outside away from the computer. Go biking, go running...anything. Good luck bro.
 
take 2 weeks to just get away from everyone and everything....then instead of coming back just kill yourself.
 
shoichi said:
Why do you even want to be friends with people that might not want to be friends with you? If you really want to get to know them, be proactive and ask one person out to go do something. Anything...watch a movie (tends to be good because there's no pressure on you to talk). It's easier to get to know strangers one on one than when they're with their peer group.

If they don't want to be friends, fine, leave it at that. You don't need friends that treat you second best. When your looking for a job, try and find a job where you would work with other people your age. I'm not a chuch goer myself, but I would assume the church offers some type of activities group where you could meet more people. Force yourself to do things you wouldn't normally do, just get outside away from the computer. Go biking, go running...anything. Good luck bro.

...or you could just take my advice and hire some "companions".

P.S.--You could just save the money for prositutes by going to AAP's house for free! OXY knows what I'm talking about! lol J/K
 
p60 said:
Now because I'm not the typically partier, weed smokin, drunk gettin, girl playin' kind of person, finding cool people to be around becomes a little more of a challenge.

I'm not sure why, but, something is extremely funny about that sentence.
 
Okay, think I figured it out. If you take drinking, girls, sex, and drugs out of the typical life of a young adult, the list of cool shit to do is seriously diminished.

First off, and this is a great way to pass time, find a girlfriend. Your free time can be spent fucking. Plus she can help with your homework.
 
If they haven't invited you out by now then they aren't ever going to do it. Concentrate on school. Maybe you can transfer earlier than two years. Once you get to college, you must move quickly to make friends or you are screwed. Meet the people in your dorm or rush a fraternity the first semester.
 
Alright, so here's the situation:

I currently have no life.
Right now I'm 19 and am taking classes at a 2 year community college, some generals, before i move to a real 4 year school next year.
The thing that sucks is that my friends in high school who i'd still want to hang around with are off at other colleges, so basically i have nobody to hang around with at all.

Join a cult like the Raliens! The chicks are crazy and they get naked! :alien: :lil k:

Personally I would choose a Ralien Chick over a (Hot where's my daddy stripper) any day!
 
do you play sports? find a co-ed soccer or softball or whatever league. that's a good way to meet people.

also there's all kinds of church crap to do, like voulnteering and all that.

but like the dude, said, concentrate on school, there's no excuse for you to not do well in school since you have so much free time.
 
Re: Re: Need a lil Social help

notoriousQQ said:


Originally posted by p60
Now because I'm not the typically partier, weed smokin, drunk gettin, girl playin' kind of person, finding cool people to be around becomes a little more of a challenge.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm not sure why, but, something is extremely funny about that sentence.


Okay, let me explain. cool people are people that you have things in common with and nothing more. because if u dont have anything in common how can u relate to them?

what im saying is, its not as easy for me to find ppl to relate to, because i dont do a lot of the typical partier college student activities.
 
If you really don't won't to be involved with drinking, drug use, premarital sex, etc... then you should consider moving to Utah. You could move to SLC and have tons of friends instantly.
 
The Nature Boy said:
do you play sports? find a co-ed soccer or softball or whatever league. that's a good way to meet people.

also there's all kinds of church crap to do, like voulnteering and all that.

but like the dude, said, concentrate on school, there's no excuse for you to not do well in school since you have so much free time.


agreed. Thankfully im doing really good in school right now, which should be justified by the amount of free time i have.

yea with church things, there may be some things you can do, its just a little hard tho, because a lot of ppl my age are more involved their colleges (ones that have residential campuses)

like sadly, most churches really dont have a lot of stuff for ppl my age. A lot of the young adults are older, like usually out of college, and just gettin married and stuff. I'm in a young adult class right now with a few ppl my age, and thats about the best i can do, but ill look for more stuff.

As far as sports go, they really dont offer shit for intramurals at my community college,
so im not sure where to go exactly to find other stuff. Like how do you find these leagues? Do they have a lot of them for ppl that are my age (outside of college based stuff) ?
 
Re: Re: Re: Need a lil Social help

p60 said:



Okay, let me explain. cool people are people that you have things in common with and nothing more. because if u dont have anything in common how can u relate to them?

what im saying is, its not as easy for me to find ppl to relate to, because i dont do a lot of the typical partier college student activities.

I understand. You want to find people that don't drink, have sex, do drugs, party etc. One question --what are you going to do whenever you find them and then you get together.

Okay, I'll be serious for just a minute. Nature Broly is right. Get involved in co-ed sports, "clubs" or activities through your school, get involved with your local youth group at church or go volunteer your time. Get a job where you are around people your own age.

No more jibba jabba.
 
p60 said:



agreed. Thankfully im doing really good in school right now, which should be justified by the amount of free time i have.

yea with church things, there may be some things you can do, its just a little hard tho, because a lot of ppl my age are more involved their colleges (ones that have residential campuses)

like sadly, most churches really dont have a lot of stuff for ppl my age. A lot of the young adults are older, like usually out of college, and just gettin married and stuff. I'm in a young adult class right now with a few ppl my age, and thats about the best i can do, but ill look for more stuff.

As far as sports go, they really dont offer shit for intramurals at my community college,
so im not sure where to go exactly to find other stuff. Like how do you find these leagues? Do they have a lot of them for ppl that are my age (outside of college based stuff) ?


I don't know where you live, but in the DC area there are free newspapers that cover some news but mostly cater to entertainment and events and such. They list all kinds of happenings like co-ed leagues, volunteer groups, etc. Look around, or look on-line. I don't think looking for those things at your community college is the way to go.
 
i want to thank everybody for the replies i've gotten thus far,

i've posted this on like four boards, and i've gotten so much advice back i dont know what to do with it all, lol.

I think everything is going to be okay from here on out, I've documented everybody's ideas/opinions and will be applying some of it. i hope all goes well.
 
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