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so as you know, my nephew has been staying with me while his mom is in prison.
i go to work every day and he stays home alone, which has worked out just fine, but he has problems going food shopping and stuff for me cause there's only so much stuff he can carry on his bicycle.
the other day, i said "hey shithead (his name is joey but i call him shithead), want me to teach you to drive?"
he was totally into it, except i drive a sports car with manual transmission and i'm not about to have some snotrag kid learn to drive on it. His mom's car was impounded when she got arrested, so that was out of the question, so i got a great idea.
i tell him to go down the street to the old woman who lives near me, mrs. schmenke. I tell him to ring her bell at 3pm, after she's been working in her garden all day and ask if he could go in. He does this, and they sit in her living room, drinking lemonaide or whatever old ladies drink, while she tells him about when she was his age. I gave him some shit i found on the net to drop in her drink when she wasn't looking, so she'd fall asleep-my nephew did what i told him to do and went to her purse and took her car keys as soon as she was out like a light. she drives a nice BIG OLD cadilac.
so last night, we go and take out her car. we went to an empty parking lot and i put blocks on the peddles so my nephew can reach, cause he's short for his age. He got the hang of it fast and we returned the car without anyone noticing it was gone.
He just called me- he took her car out today, on his own. went to the local arcade and tried to use that stupid "crane machine" thing where you put in a quarter and try to grab a stuffed animal.
well, he didn't get one, but he put his arm up in the hole to see if he could grab one that way... and he dropped the cadilac keys IN the machine.
now i have to go waste about $10 in quarters to get that old bitch's keys back before she wakes up, which should be any day now.
i go to work every day and he stays home alone, which has worked out just fine, but he has problems going food shopping and stuff for me cause there's only so much stuff he can carry on his bicycle.
the other day, i said "hey shithead (his name is joey but i call him shithead), want me to teach you to drive?"
he was totally into it, except i drive a sports car with manual transmission and i'm not about to have some snotrag kid learn to drive on it. His mom's car was impounded when she got arrested, so that was out of the question, so i got a great idea.
i tell him to go down the street to the old woman who lives near me, mrs. schmenke. I tell him to ring her bell at 3pm, after she's been working in her garden all day and ask if he could go in. He does this, and they sit in her living room, drinking lemonaide or whatever old ladies drink, while she tells him about when she was his age. I gave him some shit i found on the net to drop in her drink when she wasn't looking, so she'd fall asleep-my nephew did what i told him to do and went to her purse and took her car keys as soon as she was out like a light. she drives a nice BIG OLD cadilac.
so last night, we go and take out her car. we went to an empty parking lot and i put blocks on the peddles so my nephew can reach, cause he's short for his age. He got the hang of it fast and we returned the car without anyone noticing it was gone.
He just called me- he took her car out today, on his own. went to the local arcade and tried to use that stupid "crane machine" thing where you put in a quarter and try to grab a stuffed animal.
well, he didn't get one, but he put his arm up in the hole to see if he could grab one that way... and he dropped the cadilac keys IN the machine.
now i have to go waste about $10 in quarters to get that old bitch's keys back before she wakes up, which should be any day now.
