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my dad...
- Thread starter daised
- Start date
H
HighIntensity
Guest
daised this is not a flame, but maybe you should get some help...a daughter/father relationship is important and your pain from him could carry into your relationships with other men...
G
Golfer18--old
Guest
Good luck daised, dont feel down.
no things with my dad have not gotten better, i just avoid him now, so i don't have to deal with it.Test boy said:Things have gotten better and will continue to do so.
We all must weather storms to achieve any noteable goals.
I've had so many storms that it takes a bomb to get my attention. Unfortunately, in the process, I was forced to give up a lot of sensitivity.
HappyScrappy
New member
daised said:
If I'd known she was like that, I never would've carved her name in my chest.
i don't hate my dad, i may wish i did.then he wouldn't hurt me as much. he raises my expectations and makes me think he cares and is going to stop drinking but then he goes back to drinking and the only thing he talks about is money.
for christmas i am suppose to go on a ski trip to colorado with him, it was my big x-mas gift. how can i tell him i don't want to go?
for christmas i am suppose to go on a ski trip to colorado with him, it was my big x-mas gift. how can i tell him i don't want to go?
daised said:
I've seen many of your threads that have the same context concerning your dad Daised. Issues such as these are why I want to be in Psychology. I hate to see you suffer because of an addiction your dad has. Most likely because I have a daughter and I would hate to cause her more heartache in life due to something I chose to do. I'm sure you would like to go to Colorado with him, and spend some quality time with him. At least, that's what you should want. A sober time with your father to create a greater bond and understanding between the two of you. You simply tell him that his drinking is not welcome in your presence, and although you'd love to go to Colorado and ski with him, if he chooses to drink during the vacation, you won't go. This gives him a choice. Either he has the bottle with him on his ski trip, or he has his daughter. This way, the decision is upon himself, rather than youself, also this way you don't have to tell your dad that 'you don't want to go on the ski trip.'
Hopefully he'll make the right decision and the two of you can go have a good time together, and come to a better understanding with each other. Your dad has a problem, and his illness blinds him from truth. This is why addicts have such a reality shock when they become free of their addiction, and can finally see clearly the world around them, without the hinderance of a strong addiction. Hopefully your father will be able to see more clearly soon.
The best of luck to you Daised... I hope this ski trip is a time you two will enjoy with each other, and leave you with a special memory you have together.
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BO-CEPHUS
Guest
Funny you were not complaining when daddy purchased a car dealership and you decided to use him to get something.
I am sure you dad has fucked up, but until you finally provide for yourself then you will just have to deal with it.
I am sure you dad has fucked up, but until you finally provide for yourself then you will just have to deal with it.
D
dballer
Guest
daised said:
You come here and talk about getting fucked up.. and smoking opium and weed and all of this crap... then you are upset your Dad drinks???
Think about this.
I do not like to see people your age unhappy. So this is some good advice I was given when I was your age.
Make a HUGE list of things you love/hate and another with things you can and cannot change. Then make a list of things people compliment you on.. and things people ride you for.
Then put the pieces together. You will be suprised how well this works.
D
dballer
Guest
daised said:
i am feeling better, but he can still hurt me. only 180 more days till i am 18. he pushes me away just like he did my sister, and now she is working in the mal for 8 dollars an hour and engaged to a 33 year old who works there too.
THINK
i am feeling better, but he can still hurt me. only 180 more days till i am 18. he pushes me away just like he did my sister, and now she is working in the mal for 8 dollars an hour and engaged to a 33 year old who works there too.
THINK
i am feeling better, but he can still hurt me. only 180 more days till i am 18. he pushes me away just like he did my sister, and now she is working in the mal for 8 dollars an hour and engaged to a 33 year old who works there too.
THINK
i am feeling better, but he can still hurt me. only 180 more days till i am 18. he pushes me away just like he did my sister, and now she is working in the mal for 8 dollars an hour and engaged to a 33 year old who works there too.
THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK
Puc
Banned
I wish more than anything that your relationship with your father was not fragmented... if that was so, I would feel much more confident about your feelings towards me.
It is far too easy to see the simplified psychological explanation -- "Girl with bad father seeks solace in older boy." That would seem to preclude our success as a couple. The skein here is much more twisted, however, and that is where my hope lies.
I know how I feel. I know your happiness is my end goal. I know where my salvation lies... I know the baser realities of life slip away when I see you...
I know I am enamored. I know I am petrified that what you perceive as love for me is actually the safe harbor I offer...
...sidebar...
and, girl, remember that over doing pot smoking WILL slow you down, and you need your acuity for college. Don't smoke your brain away because of masochistic tendencies (resulting from the absence of dad in your life). Succeed inspire of that bastard. I can help you do it, when you are ready...
It is far too easy to see the simplified psychological explanation -- "Girl with bad father seeks solace in older boy." That would seem to preclude our success as a couple. The skein here is much more twisted, however, and that is where my hope lies.
I know how I feel. I know your happiness is my end goal. I know where my salvation lies... I know the baser realities of life slip away when I see you...
I know I am enamored. I know I am petrified that what you perceive as love for me is actually the safe harbor I offer...
...sidebar...
and, girl, remember that over doing pot smoking WILL slow you down, and you need your acuity for college. Don't smoke your brain away because of masochistic tendencies (resulting from the absence of dad in your life). Succeed inspire of that bastard. I can help you do it, when you are ready...
K
KAYNE
Guest
HEY DAISED.......I'LL TRADE MY PROBLEMS FOR YOURS ANYDAY. IT CAN ALWAYS GET WORSE. FOR SOME PEOPLE (ME), IT NVR STOPS GETTING WORSE.
KAYNE
KAYNE
dballer said:
bulll shit.
Do the best u can do with ur own life. If ur father doesnt want to be a part of it in a healthy, then leave him. Its incrediably hard, but this is the only way. Find ur own way and be happy and content with that, and then find a comprimise with ur father. It takes time. Years. Yes yes. Fuck it.
And fuck all the dumbasses who say otherwise. They dont know jack shit. Period.
p0ink
New member
buddy28 said:
real solid advice ther...
daised, once you leave and daddy is paying your tuition, none of this shit will really matter. when you are out of his house and far from home, you will have more respect for your mom and dad, then when you were living with them. just put up with his bullshit for now, and don't burn any bridges. remember who pays the tuition. as long as your dad is beating or abusing you or anyone in your family, then you will just have to put up with his bullshit. everyone has been in that position before.
daised said:
this is what i would do personally....being the type of person i am...........if you are out of school.....and really have nothing to keep you here....no really good friends....no family you get along with etc. I would go to colorado and stay there..
im not even joking...i had trouble at home when i was younger....mainly b/c of me and i was an idiot with the things i did..and had got kicked out of my house a few times...and left on my own a few times........i was very close to getting a bus ticket and going cross country to CA with a friend of mine..........I was able to work things out at home and ended up not going.....cause i really didnt have the money anyway............
just my .02
h19
D
dballer
Guest
buddy28 said:
"And fuck all the dumbasses who say otherwise. They dont know jack shit. Period. "
and you do???
he will not being paying for my college tuition. he will noot have control of me. he does now,but mostly because of legal rights. i know i can take care of myself and i will. my dad and i have both burned so many brides between the two of us, and i'm not saying it's all his fault, part of it was mine. but we always start anew, maybe because we are so similar. but each time a new bridge is burned even when i am the one consciously burning it because of hostility and resentment i have built up towards him it hurts more. i fear one day the last bridge will be burned, and neither one of us will care to rebuild a new one. i care and love my dad, sometimes i wish i didn't because then he couldn't hurt me, but i do. i know he cares about me too, but i want him to say"i love you" or "i am proud of you" or both.
dballer said:
Yes I do. Do you? WHen a child is involved in an abusive relationship with their parent(s), it can be extremely emotionally taxing for the child. If the abuse, either emotional or physical, is inhibiting personal growth, why stay?
Sometimes parents dont realise their actions are hurtfull, cause "they know best"......and they keep glugging away. GLug glug. Typical stupid Im-a-parent-and-I-know-everything behavour. If thats the situation, Daised needs to move out of her dads home (if she can), and let her dad wake up to his own stupid reality.
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