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Lost my girl

TNH

New member
Hey guys,

My girl left me a month ago, and I am depressed as hell. I didn't treat her as well as I should have, but it took something like this for me to realize it. Now that she is gone, I am losing my mind. I did everything I could to get her back, and it is obvious how sincere I am about my feelings for her. She told me that she needed some time, so I gave it to her....as hard as it was, I didn't call her or see her for a while.

I went out and bought a bike to cruise around on, just to get my mind off of her. I am no longer working, and school doesn't start for a few more weeks.....terrible timing, becuase now all I have is time...time to think about her.

I hadn't talked to her for a while, and I was out on the bike cruising........I came home, and my friend said that she had stopped by to pick up a few things. Later that night, she called me, and told me that she wanted to say Hi becuase she didn't get the chance to see me. I told her that I missed her, and she paused for a second....then said she missed me too. She said to call her sometime, or she would call me. I thought this was great....her friend came to visit her from California, and I figured I would call her or she would call me once the friend left on Saturday night.

Last night, I am cruising down the street that she lives on, not intending to stop.....and I see her outside her door up on the third floor, talking to some guy. She saw me, and I pulled over. Her and the guy started walking down, and I knew that this guy was her new man....but I wasn't mad for some reason. He came down, she ran back up to get her keys, and the guy came over to me by himself. We talked about my bike for a second, and then she came out all surprised to see me. I told her I wanted to talk to her, and she said "about what?" in a very strange way (she seemed like I was about to break incredible news to her). I told her "what do you think I want to talk about". The guy said he'd leave us alone for a minute, and he walked away to have a cigarette. I said to my girl that I wanted to talk about us, and I said that I didn't want to pressure her (that is the mistake I made the last time). She said she didn't want to talk to me about it, and that she didn't want to do this right now. I asked her if she still loved me at all, and she wouldn't tell me. I said that it would hurt me a lot more if she didn't tell me now, and I had to find out later on my own. She hesitated, then said she didn't love me anymore, but she cared about me as a person. She said she didn't want to do this right now, and I told her that I was sorry I had left things for her on her car, I didn't know that it would make her angry. She didn't really know what to say, so she told me that she was being rude, and had to see her friend that was over. I asked her if that was her new man, and she said "no" as if It were a dumb question. She has always had guys for friends, and I always trusted her because I knew how much she loved me. But now that we are not together, I figured this could possibly be more than a friend. She told me that if she was seeing someone, she wouldn't even be talking to me right now. She started walking away, and I told her "your just going to walk away, after all that we have had?". She kept saying that she was being rude, and had to go. I told her that this is probably a little more important than her friend being entertained for the moment (Not in those exact words). I told her that I thought we had something more than this, but I guess I was wrong....she said the same thing, and I told her that I was sorry for everything, and I would never give up on her. The guy could see that we were having quite a talk, and he started walking away like he was leaving. My girl kind of freaked out, said she was being rude to her company, and walked after him. I turned, walked over to my bike, and went home.....hurting like a champ.

Sorry if this doesn't make sense, I am tired as hell, but can't sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.

I guess this means it's the end. The only thing that has me still hoping is the statement, "If I was seeing someone, I wouldn't even be talking to you right now". What the hell does that mean? Does it mean that she is still debating wether or not to be with me? Now I really can't think clearly. This sucks. I have never been so sad in my life.

I know I'm a pussy. But damn, I miss this girl
 
time playa.. give it time.





until then.. hit the gym.. watch tnt - movies for guys who like movies.. have a beer or ten.. whatever..




one more thing.. be happy that you get to experience every aspect of human existence..
 
sad to hear, but walk away with your dignity atleast. Treat the next girl you meet like gold and you'll get over it.

BTW what kinda bike did you by? a GT performer? j/k
 
Try having a girl say that to you after 3 years of being head over heels and it ALL being your fault. Sometimes we overestimate our own worth and it DOES end up biting you in the ass bro. I know I learned that I can not have my cake and eat it too and I will go into my next relationship better for knowing this, whenever that maybe. For me the best way to keep my mind off her was, it has been a couple of months now so it is not hard at all anymore, to be around other girls eventhough sometimes I still catch myself comparing them to her. Losing her is not the end of the world, hell just look at it as new opportunity openning its doors to you. There are TONS of great single girls out there just waiting for you. Hit those weights bro, they are a heartbroken mans best friend. You could also try getting a dog, lol, they are great!
 
Awww man that just sucks. It really does. Like others said, all you can do is give it time. There is nothing you can take for the pain, only time.

And the gym helps a lot.
 
flex123 said:
BTW what kinda bike did you by? a GT performer? j/k

Yamaha R1


Bobber said:
Try having a girl say that to you after 3 years of being head over heels and it ALL being your fault. Sometimes we overestimate our own worth and it DOES end up biting you in the ass bro. I know I learned that I can not have my cake and eat it too and I will go into my next relationship better for knowing this, whenever that maybe. For me the best way to keep my mind off her was, it has been a couple of months now so it is not hard at all anymore, to be around other girls eventhough sometimes I still catch myself comparing them to her. Losing her is not the end of the world, hell just look at it as new opportunity openning its doors to you. There are TONS of great single girls out there just waiting for you. Hit those weights bro, they are a heartbroken mans best friend. You could also try getting a dog, lol, they are great!

I was with her for a year and a half, and it was all my fault too. I hate myself for it. The gay thing is, I left my dogs in California when I moved to Hawaii.....I was sad as hell, but was ok becuase I was with my girl. But now she is gone, and I have lost everything that I care about.
 
Ok.......let me get this straight..........you are a young single guy who enjoys lifting, I assume, living in Hawaii with one of the sweetest crotch rockets ever made. Dude, get your ass on the bike, go get your pump on at the gym, and ride down the coast on your bike and just see how many women you can pick up. I know they are not her but in order to get over her you will need them. LOL!!! Don't see you situation as the glass now being half empty, look at it like "damn look at all the different drinks I can fill my cup with now". You are in a good situation my friend, my pity for you has now decreased by 3/4.
 
I hope you feel beter TNH, just keep yourself occupied with other activities until school starts.

supernav said:
She dumped you. Get over it. Usually when women notice the guy took it quickly and didn't evne give a shit that she dumped 'em...is when they start going "hmm...maybe it's me?". Then they come crawlign back.

Don't ask me why women work like that...they just do.

-= nav =-

Sadly, that's because most women need to validate their self-worth by feeling wanted.
 
I know, I know....I get that a lot. I am in Hawaii, everyone keeps telling me that being single is a blessing. When I told some of my buddies over here that she left me, they thought it was great (they didn't know how serious I felt about her).

I'm single, 20 years old, and I've got my R1 and Mercedes CLK.....I should be happy, and be able to go out and meet some new chicks. I guess I just want what I can't have. As fun as this material stuff is, it doesn't mean shit to me right now.
 
You have the wrong mind set brotha, keep thinking the way you do and you will never get over it. I agree material possessions don't help too much but shit, take a big boobied fine ass bitch for a ride on the back of the R1, drop the bottom out of that pussy and I gauran-god-damn-tee that the next day you will wake up feeling a lot better. Dude, you can even look at your ex as an example.......she is already moving on. Out of sight out of mind. Hell fly me out there and I will show you how to get over her in person!!! ;) :p ;)
 
Sexual Mustard can give you a few tips to help ya.

Been there..done that...the more you dwell, the worse you will feel. The are better fish in the sea...so go fishing


This too:




polarpixie said:
Sadly, that's because most women need to validate their self-worth by feeling wanted.
 
I have felt your pain friend, the best thing to do is try and learn what you can from the experience. Nobody can make you feel how you feel, you ultimatly choose how you feel. Try and choose to be positive.
 
I'm having ups and downs with a woman myself right now and I'm close to breaking this simple piece of advice I have learned in my short 22 years on this Earth

Never Chase Women and busses cause you will always get left behind.....


I'm hardheaded about anything important in my life so I am not suprised to hear someone else is too...If you want to be with her then you will never allow yourself to treat her badly again. Even if it doesn't work You will NEVER EVER EVER treat someone like that again. This will probably be a lesson in life that you will have to learn the hardway but if you truely learn something from it then it will change you for the better
 
THN, sorry to hear about your situation bro.
but dude, just hit the gym and start going out, since you live in HI, go to Oceans or Zanzabar its pretty tight; went there last nite, and there are some fine laydees.
the main thing is you get out and STOP thinking about her, cause thatll eat you up inside.

ed.
 
I'm from Hawaii..Kaimuki, actually. Is she a local girl? I don't know if it makes a difference, but all girls want to be adored. maybe when she told you "If I was seeing someone, I wouldn't even be talking to you right now." it was a way of saying something, kwim? Maybe she's had the time to think..maybe you should continue to pursue her. If you really feel there's still something there than go with our heart. Maybe she wants you to prove your love for her...but don't let this chaos interfere with your school and lifting.

I wouldn't give up on her. She wanted time and maybe she's waiting to see how you approach it. Hey..I had my tantrums, too! LOL :D I can relate to what she's going thru.

Good luck!
 
Can some of you from or in Hawaii give me the scoop on whats life like there and things to do. It's looking like there is a realistic chance I might end up stationed there.

Shoot it 2 me in my PM box
 
Lots of good advice your getting from the post above.

If its over then Its going to take TIME to get over her though. You will have to take it one day at a time. There will be good days and bad days but it will get better as time passes.
 
I have about 50 people on my msn messenger, half of them I never talk to, and don't know how they got there. Strangely enough, her friend that just stayed a week with her popped on to the screen, and I talked to her. She is very upset with me, and says she doesn't blame me for leaving her. She told me to stay away from her. I asked her if that was it, if she never wanted to see me again....

her last reply to me was "yes, until you straighten up".

I don't want to get my hopes up....but that sounds to me like my girl and her friend have chatted a lot about this, and I may have a chance with her again if I do things right.

BTW, she is not local, but she looks like it.
 
bro, dont revolve your life thinking about her. or youll be left with nothing. just do your own thing, give her, her space, and let her make the move, if she wanted you back, then she would have given you some indications that she did. but like i said, do your own thing, and just keep busy, you think shes worrying about you, or even thinking about how she could get back with you.................HELLS NO!!!!!!!!

ed.
 
TNH said:

I'm single, 20 years old, and I've got my R1 and Mercedes CLK.....I should be happy, and be able to go out and meet some new chicks. I guess I just want what I can't have. As fun as this material stuff is, it doesn't mean shit to me right now.

TNH
MAY I ASK WHAT YOU DO? DONT TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU WANT TO BRAG ON WHAT YOU HAVE. IF YOU DO HAVE SUCH ITEMS, DONT ACT LIKE YOU ARE BETTER THAN PEOPLE CUZ YOU HAVE THEM (NOT SAYING YOU DO BUT WOMEN USUALLY HATE THAT). YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO BE EVEN MORE DOWN TO EARTH IF YOU ARE SOME RICH KID CUZ EVERYONE WILL LOOK AT YOU LIKE YOU THINK YOU ARE BETTER THAN THE AVERAGE JOE.

BTW....I WENT THROUGH A VERY SIMILAR SITUATION. I FEEL FOR YOU. EXCEPT I WAS WITH MINE FOR 5 YEARS AND I'M ONLY 23.


KAYNE
 
ANOTHER THING....UNLESS YOU ARE SOME BUTT UGLY KID WHO LOOKS LIKE THE BACK-END OF A BILLY GOAT, I DONT FORESEE A PROBLEM WITH YOU PICKING UP CHICKS.

TIME WILL BE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE AND YOUR BEST FRIEND ON THIS ONE. HOWEVER, IT WILL GET WORSE BEFORE IT GETS BETTER.



KAYNE
 
Bro, with a Yamaha R1 what do you need a girl for. You've got all the stimulation you need between your legs. That's some serious horsepower!
 
KAYNE -

I didn't mean for it to sound that way, I was just telling you guys what other people say to me......they are always telling me that I should be fine, I have all these great "things". I even said in my previous post, the material stuff isn't so important right now.

Bobber-

When I said she is not local, I didn't mean that she didn't live here....I meant that she is not a native here. She moved here with me a while back.
 
Things will work out, if not with her then with someone else. In the meantime focus on something else. I would concentrate on lifting, nothing better for getting over a girl. Really focus on something you have control over, bodybuilding is a great thing in that you can truly see the progress you are making. Well, good luck and keep your head up.
 
Believe it or not, the pain that you are feeling will make you a stronger person if it doesn't break you. It helps to talk to people about your pain, so that is good and most people like to listen and be helpful. Just remember, We have all been there and survived it, especially us old guys. Never again will a woman cause me great emotional pain, I am just too strong now. But that wasn't the way I used to be.
 
okay i am DYING to know what a 20 year old does to afford living in Hawaii with a crotch rocket and a Mercedes???

are you moving some snow or something???
 
Puc said:
okay i am DYING to know what a 20 year old does to afford living in Hawaii with a crotch rocket and a Mercedes???

are you moving some snow or something???

I am actually unemployed at the moment :)
Since I was 16, I have worked with my dad and brother in a profitable business selling vehicles from insurance auctions, which is where the CLK came from. My brother ended up going off on his own, and my dad is now running the company, while I am going to the University of Hawaii for a degree in Business Administration. I have never been a big spender at all, much of my money was invested, and I am just now enjoying it by treating myself to a few nice things like the R1.
 
You have alot going for you, but I would say you
need to work on confidence.
I think girls like a man who has confidence, over
money and things..

If I were you I would enjoy my life and date different
girls and have a good time.
Don't worry about having a girlfriend..
That time will come...

Your 20!!!!!!! Have a good time..
 
Honey, I am a woman so I am gonna break this too you. The chick was lying when she said that wasn't her new man. All the signs said it and the fact that she was more worried about him walkin away then you hurting says her feelings are not in the relationship at all anymore. The "Til you straighten up" statement is BS she is using to deflect reality of the fact that she's being a bitch.
 
There's a saying that I tell all of my guy friends lacking confidence, and it goes like this: "If you're down on yourself, no one else will be".

I know it seems like the end of the world, but you'll get over her. You're young, and you have everything going for you. Someone else will come along whom you'll love just as much as her, but only if you're not still too hung up on her to see it. The only failed relationship is the one that you didn't learn from.

Godspeed.
 
sounds like you need to just get on with things.


I wish I had a benz and a bike to enjoy while being single. I'm not single but if I was I'd be happy being single with those two things. Go have fun.
 
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