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Hey guys,
My girl left me a month ago, and I am depressed as hell. I didn't treat her as well as I should have, but it took something like this for me to realize it. Now that she is gone, I am losing my mind. I did everything I could to get her back, and it is obvious how sincere I am about my feelings for her. She told me that she needed some time, so I gave it to her....as hard as it was, I didn't call her or see her for a while.
I went out and bought a bike to cruise around on, just to get my mind off of her. I am no longer working, and school doesn't start for a few more weeks.....terrible timing, becuase now all I have is time...time to think about her.
I hadn't talked to her for a while, and I was out on the bike cruising........I came home, and my friend said that she had stopped by to pick up a few things. Later that night, she called me, and told me that she wanted to say Hi becuase she didn't get the chance to see me. I told her that I missed her, and she paused for a second....then said she missed me too. She said to call her sometime, or she would call me. I thought this was great....her friend came to visit her from California, and I figured I would call her or she would call me once the friend left on Saturday night.
Last night, I am cruising down the street that she lives on, not intending to stop.....and I see her outside her door up on the third floor, talking to some guy. She saw me, and I pulled over. Her and the guy started walking down, and I knew that this guy was her new man....but I wasn't mad for some reason. He came down, she ran back up to get her keys, and the guy came over to me by himself. We talked about my bike for a second, and then she came out all surprised to see me. I told her I wanted to talk to her, and she said "about what?" in a very strange way (she seemed like I was about to break incredible news to her). I told her "what do you think I want to talk about". The guy said he'd leave us alone for a minute, and he walked away to have a cigarette. I said to my girl that I wanted to talk about us, and I said that I didn't want to pressure her (that is the mistake I made the last time). She said she didn't want to talk to me about it, and that she didn't want to do this right now. I asked her if she still loved me at all, and she wouldn't tell me. I said that it would hurt me a lot more if she didn't tell me now, and I had to find out later on my own. She hesitated, then said she didn't love me anymore, but she cared about me as a person. She said she didn't want to do this right now, and I told her that I was sorry I had left things for her on her car, I didn't know that it would make her angry. She didn't really know what to say, so she told me that she was being rude, and had to see her friend that was over. I asked her if that was her new man, and she said "no" as if It were a dumb question. She has always had guys for friends, and I always trusted her because I knew how much she loved me. But now that we are not together, I figured this could possibly be more than a friend. She told me that if she was seeing someone, she wouldn't even be talking to me right now. She started walking away, and I told her "your just going to walk away, after all that we have had?". She kept saying that she was being rude, and had to go. I told her that this is probably a little more important than her friend being entertained for the moment (Not in those exact words). I told her that I thought we had something more than this, but I guess I was wrong....she said the same thing, and I told her that I was sorry for everything, and I would never give up on her. The guy could see that we were having quite a talk, and he started walking away like he was leaving. My girl kind of freaked out, said she was being rude to her company, and walked after him. I turned, walked over to my bike, and went home.....hurting like a champ.
Sorry if this doesn't make sense, I am tired as hell, but can't sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.
I guess this means it's the end. The only thing that has me still hoping is the statement, "If I was seeing someone, I wouldn't even be talking to you right now". What the hell does that mean? Does it mean that she is still debating wether or not to be with me? Now I really can't think clearly. This sucks. I have never been so sad in my life.
I know I'm a pussy. But damn, I miss this girl
My girl left me a month ago, and I am depressed as hell. I didn't treat her as well as I should have, but it took something like this for me to realize it. Now that she is gone, I am losing my mind. I did everything I could to get her back, and it is obvious how sincere I am about my feelings for her. She told me that she needed some time, so I gave it to her....as hard as it was, I didn't call her or see her for a while.
I went out and bought a bike to cruise around on, just to get my mind off of her. I am no longer working, and school doesn't start for a few more weeks.....terrible timing, becuase now all I have is time...time to think about her.
I hadn't talked to her for a while, and I was out on the bike cruising........I came home, and my friend said that she had stopped by to pick up a few things. Later that night, she called me, and told me that she wanted to say Hi becuase she didn't get the chance to see me. I told her that I missed her, and she paused for a second....then said she missed me too. She said to call her sometime, or she would call me. I thought this was great....her friend came to visit her from California, and I figured I would call her or she would call me once the friend left on Saturday night.
Last night, I am cruising down the street that she lives on, not intending to stop.....and I see her outside her door up on the third floor, talking to some guy. She saw me, and I pulled over. Her and the guy started walking down, and I knew that this guy was her new man....but I wasn't mad for some reason. He came down, she ran back up to get her keys, and the guy came over to me by himself. We talked about my bike for a second, and then she came out all surprised to see me. I told her I wanted to talk to her, and she said "about what?" in a very strange way (she seemed like I was about to break incredible news to her). I told her "what do you think I want to talk about". The guy said he'd leave us alone for a minute, and he walked away to have a cigarette. I said to my girl that I wanted to talk about us, and I said that I didn't want to pressure her (that is the mistake I made the last time). She said she didn't want to talk to me about it, and that she didn't want to do this right now. I asked her if she still loved me at all, and she wouldn't tell me. I said that it would hurt me a lot more if she didn't tell me now, and I had to find out later on my own. She hesitated, then said she didn't love me anymore, but she cared about me as a person. She said she didn't want to do this right now, and I told her that I was sorry I had left things for her on her car, I didn't know that it would make her angry. She didn't really know what to say, so she told me that she was being rude, and had to see her friend that was over. I asked her if that was her new man, and she said "no" as if It were a dumb question. She has always had guys for friends, and I always trusted her because I knew how much she loved me. But now that we are not together, I figured this could possibly be more than a friend. She told me that if she was seeing someone, she wouldn't even be talking to me right now. She started walking away, and I told her "your just going to walk away, after all that we have had?". She kept saying that she was being rude, and had to go. I told her that this is probably a little more important than her friend being entertained for the moment (Not in those exact words). I told her that I thought we had something more than this, but I guess I was wrong....she said the same thing, and I told her that I was sorry for everything, and I would never give up on her. The guy could see that we were having quite a talk, and he started walking away like he was leaving. My girl kind of freaked out, said she was being rude to her company, and walked after him. I turned, walked over to my bike, and went home.....hurting like a champ.
Sorry if this doesn't make sense, I am tired as hell, but can't sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.
I guess this means it's the end. The only thing that has me still hoping is the statement, "If I was seeing someone, I wouldn't even be talking to you right now". What the hell does that mean? Does it mean that she is still debating wether or not to be with me? Now I really can't think clearly. This sucks. I have never been so sad in my life.
I know I'm a pussy. But damn, I miss this girl
I can relate to what she's going thru.
