Little Monday Morning Levity...

[Werd]

If this has been posted before, then just sit back and chuckle again. I don't think one can ever smile too much or laugh too often....



If you take an Oriental person and spin him around
several times, does he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why
aren't people from Holland called Holes?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies
with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered
what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would
be if it didn't zigzag?

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast.
The mime next door went nuts.

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

Do people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little
bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards
is Naive?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...Does
that mean the fifth one enjoys it?

 

[ChefWide]

I just used "If people from Poland are called Poles, why
aren't people from Holland called Holes?" on WeidhtedVestFag...

'Because it's called The Netherlands, silly!'

When do I get to bludgeon him? WHEN?

 

[SoreArms]

People still have tapes

 

[gonelifting]

I worked in a Tea factory doing electrical work there. My boss complimented them on their great Snapple Iced tea because he saw a bottle on the guys desk, He said that`s all we drink (it was at the time), the guy got offended and said "We just like to keep the competition`s products around." lol He complimented the competion.

 

[starfish]

Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary:
*


BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was
missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
*

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on
everything, and then leaves.
*

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and
advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
*

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
*

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
*

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube
farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
*

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch
potato.
*

SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies
turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay
home with the kids.
*

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and
whiney.
*

SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because
the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
*

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's
workplace copy machine.
*

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but
you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The J-Lo and Ben wedding
(or not) was a prime example.
*

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.
*

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just
above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are
often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
designed to solve.
*

404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404
Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
*

GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same
no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and
subdivisions.
*

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that
you've just made a BIG mistake.
*

WOOF'S: Well-Off Older Folks.

 

[Werd]

LOL @Starfish!