Joke.............

[NY Muscle]

A wealthy hospital benefactor was visiting the

local hospital, during her tour of the floors; she

passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.

"Oh my GOD!" said the woman. "That's disgraceful. Why

is he doing that?"

"The doctor that was leading the tour explained, "I am

sorry, but this man has a very serious condition where

the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't

do that five times a day, they'll explode and he will

die within minutes."

"Oh, that's terrible," said the woman. In the very

next room they could see that a female nurse was

performing oral sex on a different male patient. "OH

my GOD!" said the woman, "How can that be

justified?!?"

The doctor replied, "Same illness, better health

plan."




LMFAOOO

 

[TEXgrl]

 

[HUGHJORGEN]

My plan places me in restraints, puts on porn, and waits for me to explode.

Gotta luv HMO's

 

[beastboy]

LMAO!

 

[WODIN]

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.

Dr. Mark MacDonald,
San Antonio, TX


At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," Iinstructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsed the patient.

Dr. Richard Byrnes,

Seattle, WA


One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."

Dr. Susan Steinberg,
Manitoba, Canada


I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left." Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the
exam.

Dr. Matthew Theodropolous,
Worcester, MA


During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see... Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Dr. Rebecca St.Clair,
Norfolk, VA


While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered... "Why, not for about twenty years-when my husband was alive."

Dr. Steven Swanson,
Corvallis, OR


I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."

Dr. Leonard Kransdorf,
Detroit, MI


A Nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."

 

[vixenbabe]

A stagecoach bounced down a rutted road, heading for Dallas. In the coach were a Texan, a very busty lady , and a greenhorn from the East.

The greenhorn kept smiling at the lady. Finally he leaned forward and said, "Lady, I'll give you ten dollars for a blowjob".

The Texan was appalled. He pulled out his pistol , shot the greenhorn right 'tween the eyes then shoved the body out the door.

The lady gasped and said, " Why thank you, sir, for defending my honor!".

The Texan holstered his gun and said," Your honor, hell! Just trying to keep down the inflation...Around these parts a blowjob goes for two dollars!".

 

[grafix-GNC]