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Joke

Zebo

New member
A mom goes in to clean little Jimmy's bedroom. As she's cleaning, she finds fifteen S & M magazines.
Understandably she's shocked. So she goes in and tells his father that "I was cleaning Jimmy's room and found fifteen S & M magazines....what should I do?"
The dad says "I don't know....but for God's sake don't spank him!

Bada boom :)
 
beastboy said:
2 men walk into a bar...the third one ducks.
A horse enters a bar, the bartender asks, why the long face.

Those sound like the corny ones I tell when I'm drunk (or high).LOL

What do you call a pig that knows karate?




-A pork chop!
 
Cute....

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cig, wearing a satisified smile. The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheets, roll sover and says , "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question".
 
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

If we don't get some support soon, people are gonna think we're nuts!


I know, I know......
 
[email protected] in delight ...

If DEAR ABBEY WERE A MAN:

Dear Abner,
I'm afraid that my boyfriend still has feeling for his ex- girl friends
Signed: "Worried"

Dear Worried,
A man's capacity to love is boundless. It has been proven that to increase with the number of sexual partners. Thus, by having a few other women, your partner is really increasing his love for you. Best thing to do is buy your guy a Ranger Bass boat and cook him a nice meal and NEVER mention this aspect of his behavior.

Dear Abner,
My finance has never given me an orgasm!
Signed " Frustrated"

Dear Frustrated,
The female orgasm is a myth. It is fostered by militant, man hating feminists and is a danger to the family unit. Don't mention it again to your fiance and show your love to him by buying him a Harley- Davidson Sportster...and don't forget to cook him a great meal.
 
Okay, there is a farmer, a minister and a butcher. They all are walking down a dirt road. The farmer looks up at the sky and says "looks like rain". The minister puzzled looks up to the sky and says " Dont know about that". And the butcher looks up and says "No, i think the farmers right. It does look like rain."
 
O kayyyyyy MK....

Dear Abner,
My hubby wants to have a menaage-a -trois with my sister. THis seesm wrong what should I do?
Signed: Monogamous

Dear Mono,
Your hubby is cleary devoted to you. He can not get enough of you so he goes for the next best thing: your sister. Far from being an issue, this will bring all of the family 2-gther. Why not get some cousins involved? If you are still apprehensive, let him go with your relatives, buy him a Rolex watch and cook him a nice meal.
 
Mickey Knox said:
Okay, there is a farmer, a minister and a butcher. They all are walking down a dirt road. The farmer looks up at the sky and says "looks like rain". The minister puzzled looks up to the sky and says " Dont know about that". And the butcher looks up and says "No, i think the farmers right. It does look like rain."

I don't get it?:confused:
 
LOL!

A guy walks into a doctors office wearing nothing but Saran Wrap.

He asks the doctor,"Doctor, what wrong with me?"

The doctor says, "well I can clearly see you're nuts."



Get it? see his nuts?....you see, he....oh never mind.
 
Some funny ones guys. Now here's the best one:

What do you call 40 bulls in a field masturbating?


-Beef stroughanough

(get it? -beef "strokin' off")
 
Silly shits...

What are dogs?

Dogs lie around all day, sprawled out on the most comfy piece of furniture in the house.
They can hear a package of food opening half a block away.
They growl when they are not happy.
When you want to be alone, they want to play.
They will love you 4-ever if you rub thier tummies.
They leave their toys everywhere.
They do disgusting things with thier mouth then wanna kiss you.

CONCLUSION: They are men dressed in fur coats!
 
I just made that joke up to see how many times a person on here would read it thinking they were just stupid and not getting it. It's not supposed to make sense. :)
 
Mickey Knox said:
I just made that joke up to see how many times a person on here would read it thinking they were just stupid and not getting it. It's not supposed to make sense. :)

LMAO,
Well I did read it about 6 times. Slower each time.:smash:
 
Little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the head of the family, so call me The President. Your mother is the
administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.

We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People.

The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class.

And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future.

Now think about that and see if it makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and
goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, "Dad, I think I
understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

:)
 
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