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JarheadChiro
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How to Settle a Dispute in Texas
A big city lawyer from Boston went bird hunting in rural Texas. He
shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side
of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on
his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I
shot a bird and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming
over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in
the United States and, if you don't let me get that bird, I'll sue you
and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we
settle disputes in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the
"Three Kick Rule."'
The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I
kick you three times first and then you kick me three times and so
on back and forth until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided
that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local
custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to
the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed
work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second
kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The
lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end sent him
face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his
feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, now it's
my turn."
[I love this part....]
The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the bird."
A big city lawyer from Boston went bird hunting in rural Texas. He
shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side
of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on
his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I
shot a bird and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming
over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in
the United States and, if you don't let me get that bird, I'll sue you
and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we
settle disputes in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the
"Three Kick Rule."'
The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I
kick you three times first and then you kick me three times and so
on back and forth until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided
that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local
custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to
the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed
work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second
kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The
lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end sent him
face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his
feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, now it's
my turn."
[I love this part....]
The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the bird."
