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ok i pre-a[pologize... it is like a limerick... i had no idea.
The Jerry Springer Show : Episode 627 : "Marriage Meltdown!"
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[The crowd starts chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"]
Jerry: Tonight on "The Jerry Springer Show" we have a particularly interesting episode! saint808 is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend, Citruscide. So everyone, please put your hands together for saint808!
[The crowd whoops and hollers]
Jerry: Okay, now saint808 you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other person's name?
You: Nicole.
[The crowd squeals with delight]
Jerry: Okay, okay, well Nicole, is actually here tonight ...
[The crowd squeals]
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you saint808, because as it happens there is someone else here to see you! So let's bring out ... Days of the tantric!
You: What the HELL!!!
[Out of nowhere you pull out a steel folding chair. Days of the tantric reaches for the table. Out of the shadows Toga appears]
Toga: Wait everybody, wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First, tell us why you're here Days of the tantric.
Days of the tantric: Because I saw saint808 and Toga making out at Macy's!
[The crowd goes absolutely insane]
Toga: That's a lie! I was home watching Monday Night Raw!
Jerry: [raising his hands] Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here ... what exactly is the problem Days of the tantric?
Days of the tantric: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Citruscide who has recently become engaged to Toga.
[The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement]
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Citruscide out here because saint808 had something that they needed to tell them anyway about ... Nicole that's right!
Citruscide: [enters onto stage and saunters over towards you] What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Nicole! You know how I feel about Nicole!
Toga: [screams] What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Nicole!
Citruscide: Because I knew that I could never have Nicole. But saint808 promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
Toga: What about respect for my feelings!
[Days of the tantric walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Citruscide]
Days of the tantric: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
[Again the crowd squeals]
Toga: Oh my God! Are you sick!?
[Toga runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly]
Toga: saint808 take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing ... I'm ... well, I'm married ...
[The crowd does its bit]
Toga: Married?
[You nod]
Toga: Who the hell are you married to? When ... when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Nicole.
Citruscide: [screaming] WHAT!!!
Jerry: [grinning widely, makes an enquiry] So ... did you have a nice wedding night?
Nicole: [stepping back out onto center stage] Well we had sex 666 times if that's what you mean.
[The crowd squeals]
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight ... saint808 is married to Nicole who Citruscide has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Citruscide has recently become engaged to Toga who was recently spotted kissing saint808 in Macy's. Now on top of this, Days of the tantric has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Citruscide.
Nicole: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: [looking sternly into the camera] It's times like these that one has to wonder whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks - it's been great - but for now, take care of yourselves ... and each other.
[Cue cheesy background music and fade to black]
The Jerry Springer Show : Episode 627 : "Marriage Meltdown!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[The crowd starts chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"]
Jerry: Tonight on "The Jerry Springer Show" we have a particularly interesting episode! saint808 is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend, Citruscide. So everyone, please put your hands together for saint808!
[The crowd whoops and hollers]
Jerry: Okay, now saint808 you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other person's name?
You: Nicole.
[The crowd squeals with delight]
Jerry: Okay, okay, well Nicole, is actually here tonight ...
[The crowd squeals]
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you saint808, because as it happens there is someone else here to see you! So let's bring out ... Days of the tantric!
You: What the HELL!!!
[Out of nowhere you pull out a steel folding chair. Days of the tantric reaches for the table. Out of the shadows Toga appears]
Toga: Wait everybody, wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First, tell us why you're here Days of the tantric.
Days of the tantric: Because I saw saint808 and Toga making out at Macy's!
[The crowd goes absolutely insane]
Toga: That's a lie! I was home watching Monday Night Raw!
Jerry: [raising his hands] Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here ... what exactly is the problem Days of the tantric?
Days of the tantric: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Citruscide who has recently become engaged to Toga.
[The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement]
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Citruscide out here because saint808 had something that they needed to tell them anyway about ... Nicole that's right!
Citruscide: [enters onto stage and saunters over towards you] What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Nicole! You know how I feel about Nicole!
Toga: [screams] What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Nicole!
Citruscide: Because I knew that I could never have Nicole. But saint808 promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
Toga: What about respect for my feelings!
[Days of the tantric walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Citruscide]
Days of the tantric: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
[Again the crowd squeals]
Toga: Oh my God! Are you sick!?
[Toga runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly]
Toga: saint808 take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing ... I'm ... well, I'm married ...
[The crowd does its bit]
Toga: Married?
[You nod]
Toga: Who the hell are you married to? When ... when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Nicole.
Citruscide: [screaming] WHAT!!!
Jerry: [grinning widely, makes an enquiry] So ... did you have a nice wedding night?
Nicole: [stepping back out onto center stage] Well we had sex 666 times if that's what you mean.
[The crowd squeals]
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight ... saint808 is married to Nicole who Citruscide has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Citruscide has recently become engaged to Toga who was recently spotted kissing saint808 in Macy's. Now on top of this, Days of the tantric has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Citruscide.
Nicole: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: [looking sternly into the camera] It's times like these that one has to wonder whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks - it's been great - but for now, take care of yourselves ... and each other.
[Cue cheesy background music and fade to black]
