Is this tacky?

[stilleto]

I have to go to a wedding soon. The couple is older (early 60s) and have been living together for about a year. They are wealthy and own two homes.
The groom is in a wheelchair after having a degenerative spine condition/disease and the bride lost a daughter to breast cancer a few years ago.

The invitation doesn't mention anything about gifts and ordinarily, I would just give money, but they have plenty of it already. Would it be wrong of me to make a donation in their name to the research organization for his spinal disease or a breast cancer foundation (or both)? They didn't say "in leiu of gifts, etc." so i don't know if thats right.

or should i just give them money?

 

[jack sparrow]

If you know the couple personally, I would ask. If not, then I would get them a toaster. (j/k) that really is a tough question. Try asking someone that they know if you dont personally know them.

 

[chefbone]

Good question bro........I didn't know you had such a giving spirit. I would buy a stellar gift. Making donations on there behalf is admirable, but they may take it the wrong way.

 

[Cutiebaby]

i think that a donation would be a good thing considering...but not all people think this way..i think maybe you should ask them, older people are easy to offend.............

 

[hamstershaver]

viagra

 

[stilleto]

its not tacky to call them and say "what would you like, money or a donation in your name?"
or... what if i said "i'd like to make a donation in your name... what charity would you like?"

 

[stilleto]

Good question bro........I didn't know you had such a giving spirit. :

lol... i joke around a lot here, but i'm a pretty giving person.

 

[jack sparrow]

"i'd like to make a donation in your name... what charity would you like?"

Yes.

 

[Tytan]

Buy a gift, they will remember that you were thinking of THEM on their special day. Plus, they will remember to buy you a gift on some occasion you might have..

 

[UA_Iron]

buy them useless shit so they have to sit there and smile that they got something they'll never use - or use once and say F it.

like a bread maker or something.

 

[stilleto]

buy them useless shit so they have to sit there and smile that they got something they'll never use - or use once and say F it.

like a bread maker or something.

thats what i'm trying to avoid. first of all, i don't want to lug some shit to the wedding, and make them cart it all home. and they probably have all that they need anyway, they aren't a young couple just starting out- both have been married before too.
i thought about some piece of art- there's a glass studio near me that has beautiful things, but really- their home is decorated and i don't know wth they'd like anyway.

 

[chefbone]

its not tacky to call them and say "what would you like, money or a donation in your name?"
or... what if i said "i'd like to make a donation in your name... what charity would you like?"

That's a good move!!!!! Then present a card informing them at the wedding.
K 2 U, Cawk Monger!!!!!

 

[GoldenDelicious]

people with money can always find something to do with more money

 

[Dial_tone]

give them cawk pics

 

[HumorMe]

 

[HiDnGoD]

The invitation doesn't mention anything about gifts and ordinarily, I would just give money, but they have plenty of it already. Would it be wrong of me to make a donation in their name to the research organization for his spinal disease or a breast cancer foundation (or both)? They didn't say "in leiu of gifts, etc." so i don't know if thats right. or should i just give them money?

You must spread some Karma around before giving it to stilleto again.

Excellent thought.

 

[stilleto]

give them cawk pics

my own, or yours?

 

[stilleto]

people with money can always find something to do with more money

yeah yeah, i know... the wedding probably isn't even costing them all that much (she owns a country Inn- its being held there and its going to be small), but i know the gifts will help pay for it.

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

You might just want to consider not calling attention to past tragedies on their joyous day.

Just an opinion bro - I would give them the money.

 

[stilleto]

You might just want to consider not calling attention to past tragedies on their joyous day.

Just an opinion bro - I would give them the money.

yeah- thats why i asked. Because they didn't SAY those charities, so i'm sure they'd appreciate it, but bringing them up is like saying "I DIDN"T FORGET THESE SUCKY THINGS IN YOUR LIFE".
i think i'm going to ask them and go with that.

 

[nycgirl]

You might just want to consider not calling attention to past tragedies on their joyous day.
Just an opinion bro - I would give them the money.

I agree.

In lieu of just cash or a gift for a home, get them a gift card to use for a night/weekend at a nice hotel/resort.

 

[ChefWide]

I have to go to a wedding soon. The couple is older (early 60s) and have been living together for about a year. They are wealthy and own two homes.
The groom is in a wheelchair after having a degenerative spine condition/disease and the bride lost a daughter to breast cancer a few years ago.

The invitation doesn't mention anything about gifts and ordinarily, I would just give money, but they have plenty of it already. Would it be wrong of me to make a donation in their name to the research organization for his spinal disease or a breast cancer foundation (or both)? They didn't say "in leiu of gifts, etc." so i don't know if thats right.

or should i just give them money?

Make a donation to The Bald Headed Chefs Taking a Year Off Foundation... i have been eyeing a trip to the Islands and that would be just the thing.

 

[stilleto]

Make a donation to The Bald Headed Chefs Taking a Year Off Foundation... i have been eyeing a trip to the Islands and that would be just the thing.

that depends on which island.