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HighIntensity
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would this scare you,
the People's Champ
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if fish could fly instead of swim, I'd be scared. imagine some freaking great whites floating in the air as you pick up your morning newspaper from your driveway and you bump your head against a great white when standing up, fuck that shit.
H
HighIntensity
Guest
yea like that,
remember the version of wizard of oz with mike jackson, now those were some scary monkeys, i think if monkeys flew they would have the edge on us
remember the version of wizard of oz with mike jackson, now those were some scary monkeys, i think if monkeys flew they would have the edge on us
the People's Champ
New member
I think if monkeys can operate heavy machinery like cars, and airplanes, we'd be fucked. shit if monkeys flew, I'd have fun trying to catch some myself.
H
HighIntensity
Guest
yea anything flying is bad, thanks god for choosing birds...they don't scare me, but alligators with wings would
the People's Champ
New member
what if bulls could get some serious air? like they could jump and make themselves a projectile instead of ramming things?
H
HighIntensity
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i would not mind a monkey flying a plane, that would be cool, like looking into the cockpit and you see three monkeys with their pilot suits on and all, but god forbid you serve the peanuts...then they might go nuts and crash
probley feed them first
probley feed them first
the People's Champ
New member
I can see freaking chimps causing mayhem at the local mall riding on motocross bikes, doing wheelies and performing jumps on the escalator, heel clicking and supermans in the air, doing the pommel horse thing on their bike before they land...
H
HighIntensity
Guest
yea or in the GYM fuckin animals, and of course you would always get that one ape comming in trying to impress everyone, putting on 8 plates on each side,. hitting it for reps and the getting up and pounding his chest...we don't need that shit, besides i would not spot an ape
the People's Champ
New member
aight mang, I am off to bed. late
H
HighIntensity
Guest
i think the worst we be a band of pirate monkeys roaming the eastern seas, then everyone would be scared to go out on boats
because the clan of pirate monkeys might get you,
"did you hear what happened to dave and diana and the kids"
no, don't tell me....damn it those fuckin PIRATE MONKEYS, damn you, damn you all
because the clan of pirate monkeys might get you,
"did you hear what happened to dave and diana and the kids"
no, don't tell me....damn it those fuckin PIRATE MONKEYS, damn you, damn you all
smallmovesal
New member
pray for mojo
smallmovesal
New member
Man, if sloths could fly, we'd be done for.
BTW, what kinda monkeys are we talking about? I think Id actually try and catch him and make him do things for me, like my homework and deliver stuff, he could even fly to mexico with a list and fly it back here avoiding costums. Power to the monkey!!
BTW, what kinda monkeys are we talking about? I think Id actually try and catch him and make him do things for me, like my homework and deliver stuff, he could even fly to mexico with a list and fly it back here avoiding costums. Power to the monkey!!
Pink Space Biscuit
New member
HighIntensity said:
That would soooooo rule. Pirates and monkeys are both cool.
H
HighIntensity
Guest
do you think if there where monkey whores all dolled up working the corner they would get any action....
smallmovesal
New member
smallmovesal said:
damn flying lobsters... they would just fly around us and choose who to kill!!!!! revenge i tell you!
smallmovesal
New member
Pink Space Biscuit
New member
Lobsters would be the brains of the operation and would make the monkeys pick up the humans and drop them in boiling vats of piss.
smallmovesal
New member
ok wtf is wrong with the japanese sometimes... weird shit.
smallmovesal
New member
H
HighIntensity
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curious george never made any sense to me, i mean it was an older single man liveing with a young chimp, whom he passed off as his child...and yet we excepted it, as if it were reality, being a kids rules
now back to monkeys, i wish i could train monkeys, i would make them learn to shoplift, so i could have all news clothes and stuff...i would drop my young monkey off at the mall and wait at the food court for him to arrive with bags of gifts for me, then i would feed him cheese burgers and pizza as a reward,
now back to monkeys, i wish i could train monkeys, i would make them learn to shoplift, so i could have all news clothes and stuff...i would drop my young monkey off at the mall and wait at the food court for him to arrive with bags of gifts for me, then i would feed him cheese burgers and pizza as a reward,
smallmovesal
New member
Pink Space Biscuit
New member
saint808 said:
I wouldn't doubt it. They'd probably sing too like in the little mermaid. Evil evil crustaceans.
H
HighIntensity
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i believe that is the brand of condom happyscrappy uses
smallmovesal
New member
Homer: I'd like a monkey, please! And...maybe one of those dogs, what do
they do?
Man: Uh, they serve as seeing-eyes for the blind, sir.
Homer: Do they do any other tricks?
Man: No.
Homer: Just the monkey, then.
Man: Eh, may I inquire as to how you are...differently abled?
Homer: Oh, I'm not handicapped! I'm just lazy!
-- "Girly Edition"
% The man tells Homer he can only get one if he's physically challenged.
% Later, Homer leads Abe and a new helper monkey out of the store.
Abe: Oh, son! This monkey's gonna change my life!
Homer: Mind if I take him for a ride?
Abe: Sure, I'll just stand here!
[Homer speeds off.]
Mmm, I can't wait to eat that monkey!
% In the Simpson kitchen, Marge chases the monkey all around the kitchen
% with a broom, screaming. Homer comes in.
% The monkey jumps onto Homer's shoulder for safety. Homer introduces the
% two to each other.
% Homer picks up the phone and says "Simpson residence," and hangs it back
% up again. The monkey picks the phone up and chatters into it.
Marge: Why didn't you tell me you were bringing home a filthy monkey?
[pours, then drinks a glass of orange juice]
Homer: This "filthy monkey" made the orange juice you're drinking!
-- "Girly Edition"
% Marge spits the O.J. out.
% Marge runs out of the house, holding her arm. Monkey screams are heard
% inside.
Bart: Mom, am I dumb?
Marge: Honey, I'd love to reassure you, but right now Mommy needs a
Tetanus shot.
% Homer, watching Nelson give the intro for the next day's newscast,
% sits next to the monkey, who now drinks a beer.
Homer: Marge, the kids are on!
Marge: [complaining] The monkey's on my part of the sofa.
Homer: Honey, he's clearly marked his territory.
Homer watches the report, eating pizza with the
% monkey.
Homer: Marge, can I get a duck?
Marge: You already have a monkey!
Homer: Can he get a duck?
Marge: No!
-- "Girly Edition"
% The monkey hits Homer with the pizza box and screams.
% Homer, still abusing the helper monkey program, is at the local Lard Lad
% doughnut shoppe, pleading with his monkey to come down from a grate in the
% side of the building and share the donuts he has around his limbs and tail.
% The monkey opens the grate.
Good boy, Mojo! Now bring 'em down and I'll give you one!
-- Generous Homer, "Girly Edition"
% Mojo decides to take the doughnuts to the top of a telephone pole
% instead.
Stop that! You're a helper monkey! This isn't helping!
-- Homer, "Girly Edition"
% The monkey considers it, and then tosses a once-bitten doughnut to
% the ground. Defiant of the monkey's pity at first, he then gives in and
% eats the donut off the ground.
% Homer and his helper monkey are on the floor of the living room. Garbage
% is strewn everywhere, and the walls are splattered with goo.
% Marge complains that Mojo's wearing a diaper -- he's ment to be housebroken.
% Homer and Mojo say "eh," at the same time, tossing their hands in the air
% as if to say "who cares?".
Marge: [groans in frustration] You said this monkey would be sweeping
the floors and cleaning the gutters. And now, he just lies there,
struggling to breathe!
Homer: What do you want? His cholesterol's through the roof.
Marge: I want you to take that monkey back, so he can be rehabilitated and
get a second chance.
Homer: No, no, he's fine! Go on, Mojo! Show Marge your happy dance!
-- "Girly Edition"
% Mojo gets up, and stumbles across the floor, barely able to breathe. He
% makes it to a wall and leans against it for support, exhausted.
% Homer: "And, so on."
% Later, Homer leaves Mojo at the door of the Animal Assistants Program.
% He steps on the gas and speeds away from the scene.
% Man: "Mojo! What have they done to you?"
% Punching a few keys into a voice generation typewriter, Mojo tells
% him, "PRAY FOR MOJO". Back at the Channel Six TV Station, Milhouse does
% a news report on a topic of great importance to him.
So, by waking up a little early and having some extra sheets
handy, no one's the wiser. Tomorrow, "Destroying The Evidence".
-- Milhouse's news report, "Girly Edition"
they do?
Man: Uh, they serve as seeing-eyes for the blind, sir.
Homer: Do they do any other tricks?
Man: No.
Homer: Just the monkey, then.
Man: Eh, may I inquire as to how you are...differently abled?
Homer: Oh, I'm not handicapped! I'm just lazy!
-- "Girly Edition"
% The man tells Homer he can only get one if he's physically challenged.
% Later, Homer leads Abe and a new helper monkey out of the store.
Abe: Oh, son! This monkey's gonna change my life!
Homer: Mind if I take him for a ride?
Abe: Sure, I'll just stand here!
[Homer speeds off.]
Mmm, I can't wait to eat that monkey!
% In the Simpson kitchen, Marge chases the monkey all around the kitchen
% with a broom, screaming. Homer comes in.
% The monkey jumps onto Homer's shoulder for safety. Homer introduces the
% two to each other.
% Homer picks up the phone and says "Simpson residence," and hangs it back
% up again. The monkey picks the phone up and chatters into it.
Marge: Why didn't you tell me you were bringing home a filthy monkey?
[pours, then drinks a glass of orange juice]
Homer: This "filthy monkey" made the orange juice you're drinking!
-- "Girly Edition"
% Marge spits the O.J. out.
% Marge runs out of the house, holding her arm. Monkey screams are heard
% inside.
Bart: Mom, am I dumb?
Marge: Honey, I'd love to reassure you, but right now Mommy needs a
Tetanus shot.
% Homer, watching Nelson give the intro for the next day's newscast,
% sits next to the monkey, who now drinks a beer.
Homer: Marge, the kids are on!
Marge: [complaining] The monkey's on my part of the sofa.
Homer: Honey, he's clearly marked his territory.
Homer watches the report, eating pizza with the
% monkey.
Homer: Marge, can I get a duck?
Marge: You already have a monkey!
Homer: Can he get a duck?
Marge: No!
-- "Girly Edition"
% The monkey hits Homer with the pizza box and screams.
% Homer, still abusing the helper monkey program, is at the local Lard Lad
% doughnut shoppe, pleading with his monkey to come down from a grate in the
% side of the building and share the donuts he has around his limbs and tail.
% The monkey opens the grate.
Good boy, Mojo! Now bring 'em down and I'll give you one!
-- Generous Homer, "Girly Edition"
% Mojo decides to take the doughnuts to the top of a telephone pole
% instead.
Stop that! You're a helper monkey! This isn't helping!
-- Homer, "Girly Edition"
% The monkey considers it, and then tosses a once-bitten doughnut to
% the ground. Defiant of the monkey's pity at first, he then gives in and
% eats the donut off the ground.
% Homer and his helper monkey are on the floor of the living room. Garbage
% is strewn everywhere, and the walls are splattered with goo.
% Marge complains that Mojo's wearing a diaper -- he's ment to be housebroken.
% Homer and Mojo say "eh," at the same time, tossing their hands in the air
% as if to say "who cares?".
Marge: [groans in frustration] You said this monkey would be sweeping
the floors and cleaning the gutters. And now, he just lies there,
struggling to breathe!
Homer: What do you want? His cholesterol's through the roof.
Marge: I want you to take that monkey back, so he can be rehabilitated and
get a second chance.
Homer: No, no, he's fine! Go on, Mojo! Show Marge your happy dance!
-- "Girly Edition"
% Mojo gets up, and stumbles across the floor, barely able to breathe. He
% makes it to a wall and leans against it for support, exhausted.
% Homer: "And, so on."
% Later, Homer leaves Mojo at the door of the Animal Assistants Program.
% He steps on the gas and speeds away from the scene.
% Man: "Mojo! What have they done to you?"
% Punching a few keys into a voice generation typewriter, Mojo tells
% him, "PRAY FOR MOJO". Back at the Channel Six TV Station, Milhouse does
% a news report on a topic of great importance to him.
So, by waking up a little early and having some extra sheets
handy, no one's the wiser. Tomorrow, "Destroying The Evidence".
-- Milhouse's news report, "Girly Edition"
H
HighIntensity
Guest
monkey droppings...got u
smallmovesal
New member
Bart: "I know a website that shows monkeys doin' it!"
Homer: "C'mon, Lisa! Monkeys!"
Ralph: "I want a bike and a monkey, and a friend for the monkey"
Phoney McRingring: "... even monkeys can memorize 10 numbers. Are you stupider than a monkey?"
Clancy: "Uh...how big of a monkey?"
A magician chops Marge into four monkeys which then attack her
Homer: "So, she was made of chimps!"
Krusty: "Our own 'Chimp'n'Dales dancer gives you the 'Full Monkey'"
Homer: "C'mon, Lisa! Monkeys!"
Ralph: "I want a bike and a monkey, and a friend for the monkey"
Phoney McRingring: "... even monkeys can memorize 10 numbers. Are you stupider than a monkey?"
Clancy: "Uh...how big of a monkey?"
A magician chops Marge into four monkeys which then attack her
Homer: "So, she was made of chimps!"
Krusty: "Our own 'Chimp'n'Dales dancer gives you the 'Full Monkey'"
smallmovesal
New member
Homer: [answering the door] Who is it?
Voice: Goons.
Homer: Who?
Voice: Hired goons.
Homer: Hired goons? [opens the door]
Goons: [take Homer roughly away]
-- ``Last Exit to Springfield''
The goons take Homer to Stately Burns Mansion, where Monty waits for
them in the aviary. (The vulture perched nearby bears a striking
resemblance.) Monty shows Homer the world's largest television set
(now showing: The bumblebee guy). A room with a thousand monkeys
at a thousand typewriters. (``It was the best of times, it was
blurst of times.'')
Burns: "You stupid monkey!"
Voice: Goons.
Homer: Who?
Voice: Hired goons.
Homer: Hired goons? [opens the door]
Goons: [take Homer roughly away]
-- ``Last Exit to Springfield''
The goons take Homer to Stately Burns Mansion, where Monty waits for
them in the aviary. (The vulture perched nearby bears a striking
resemblance.) Monty shows Homer the world's largest television set
(now showing: The bumblebee guy). A room with a thousand monkeys
at a thousand typewriters. (``It was the best of times, it was
blurst of times.'')
Burns: "You stupid monkey!"
H
HighIntensity
Guest
i think i would watch monkey wrestling, because it would be fresh and unpredictable...monkeys would not fake it
plus if i owned a football team i would use a monkey as my third down receiver, probley in the slot...monkeys r fast and elusive plus they don't care if they get hit and i would pay him in bananas which would keep me under the cap
plus if i owned a football team i would use a monkey as my third down receiver, probley in the slot...monkeys r fast and elusive plus they don't care if they get hit and i would pay him in bananas which would keep me under the cap
H
HighIntensity
Guest
it would be funny if one of the Elite members was a monkey, typing from the congo on a computer he stole from some explorer...im sure if there is hell enjoy this thread, this ones for you computer typing monkey enjoy....
H
HighIntensity
Guest
one thing about flying monkeys that would be really scarey is if they tapped on your window at night 
H
HighIntensity
Guest
or be turned on
smallmovesal
New member
smallmovesal
New member
smallmovesal
New member
H
HighIntensity
Guest
pinks into monkeys
H
HighIntensity
Guest
monkeys love instant messenger...i hate it when im online and a little window pops up "so and so" has sent you an instant message....so I click on it
ohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho
fuckin monkeys
ohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho
fuckin monkeys
Pink Space Biscuit
New member
Monkey Phone Call
I was going to get one of those for my little cousin, her mom is really mean though, so she'd probably get yelled at.
I was going to get one of those for my little cousin, her mom is really mean though, so she'd probably get yelled at.
H
HighIntensity
Guest
flying cattle monkeys....like the cattle would fly but the monkeys would ride them, would the monkeys wear the old WWI fighting leather helmets like snoopy wore in the red barron....
and have leather wipes...and wear would the monkeys fly 2...like wow
and have leather wipes...and wear would the monkeys fly 2...like wow
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this thread is a stroke of geniuos
HI
but its just plain wrong that the Nature Boy has not made his contribution here,
wrong I tells ya , wrong!
bye the way if someone tells you that Sea Gulls don't know what they are doing when they 'accidently' shit on pepole they are full of it.
we had this posse' of Sea glls that was known for shiating on Mexicans. not blacks not whites, not jews, or greeks,
just mexicans, with a varietal philipino thrown in for good measure.
there was one Sea gull who was the leader.
he had a limp, and never missed,
we called him Peg Leg Tuscadero
he would fly in poop on an illegal, and fly away looking back laughing in Sea Gull Laugh.
oh yes Sea gulls can laugh
HI but its just plain wrong that the Nature Boy has not made his contribution here,
wrong I tells ya , wrong!
bye the way if someone tells you that Sea Gulls don't know what they are doing when they 'accidently' shit on pepole they are full of it.
we had this posse' of Sea glls that was known for shiating on Mexicans. not blacks not whites, not jews, or greeks,
just mexicans, with a varietal philipino thrown in for good measure.
there was one Sea gull who was the leader.
he had a limp, and never missed,
we called him Peg Leg Tuscadero
he would fly in poop on an illegal, and fly away looking back laughing in Sea Gull Laugh.
oh yes Sea gulls can laugh
H
HighIntensity
Guest
sadely omega not enough members have contributed to what could be one of the greatest elite threads ever, i mean how can you go wrong with monkeys...
nature boy, fro, supersize me, happyscappy should all be here
there are members on this board united to never let this post die... the monkeys will fly for a longtime on Elite
cheerio
nature boy, fro, supersize me, happyscappy should all be here
there are members on this board united to never let this post die... the monkeys will fly for a longtime on Elite
cheerio
H
HighIntensity
Guest
boach knows this because of his own pet monkey, which unknown to the ASPCA he has trained to to pleasure him nightly and fix him cheese sandwiches on ritz crackers
H
HighIntensity
Guest
this thread never got its due
H
HighIntensity
Guest
saint808 said:
The suprising thing with horse raceing is the horses love it, they know when their good. I always wanted EA sports to come out with a blitz type game for horse raceing. You could race with legends like Seattle Slew and knock the fuck out of the other jockeys...alas the restraining order they put on me has put the project on hold.
the People's Champ
New member
if monkeys could fly, I would laugh my fucking ass off.
H
HighIntensity
Guest
.
H
HighIntensity
Guest
if only people would read it
MassiveGunz
New member
Bros monkeys cant fly cuz they dont even have a beak.
Instead of wishing that shit you should be wishing about "what if hot bitches with huge titties could fly" and then wish that they flyed rght into yourr oom.
Instead of wishing that shit you should be wishing about "what if hot bitches with huge titties could fly" and then wish that they flyed rght into yourr oom.
H
HighIntensity
Guest
bmp
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