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Well, last night I told her she had till the 31st to leave. She decided she had big feelings for other guy and was working on us, just her, so I told her she had till the 31st of May. She kept trying to get me to give her 30 days and I said no.
She then tried to blame everything on me. Look what you are doing to the kids! They can't finish school (she'll just have and extra few miles to drive for 10 days) your making them sell the dog, I don't know where I will live, but what about the kids, look what you are putting them through. She tried to tell me I am just being a jerk, I told her that it is not me that is causing this.
You are the one that is deciding that our marriage is not worth saving any more and that you are the one cheating. Everything that is happening now is a direct result of what you are doing.
She tried then to tell me that 3 months ago when she wanted separate bedrooms that she felt we still had a chance, but since I didn't agree to that because I thought it was wrong, it kept up the pressure on her so then the chance dissappeard. Originally she told me she thought it would make the transition easier or that she expected me to boot her out at that point making her decisin easier. I explained to her that she was already seeing this guy so how could that be?
She also tried to tell me that if I hadn't tossed her out that she may have found out a few months down the road that he wasn't the one and might have seen that I was not so bad and we would have been able to work on us. But now that I have tossed her out that chance was gone. I was like whatever! She says I am scared to live on my own without her. Wrong, I am, I don't like it, but I am not scared.
Right now she is and I finally think she is realizing that no matter how much I verbally abused her, she returned it as well and that all of this at the moment is a direct result of her actions and choices. She tried to tell me that I had told her I didn't care if she stayed there and continued to see him. I reminded her that I said I didn't care if she stayed there as long as she had cut the ties with him and that if she didn't I couldn't condone her actions while I supported her. I pulled the carpet out from under her.
She kept trying to tell me that he has nothing to do with it. Wrong, he does in a big way. I told I know because I have first hand experience in the matter. I was where she is now many, many years ago. I explained to her that I felt the same way, etc. But that I realized I was wrong and ended it and as soon as I did, my feelings started to come back for her.
After I told her to leave I then explained to my oldest why she has to move out. She then later on told him as well, but sugar coated.
I gave her the final option, since we are married she asked me what I wanted to do, so I told her that she moves out here, we see a marriage counselor and do marriage counseling, not this individual crap and we start acting married again. She was like what about my jobs? I just abandon the parents. I was like either way on the 31st of May you are out of the house so it won't matter any way except you have to live with your friend for a while in a cramped 2 bedroom apt, with no way to pay your bills except for dickhead giving you about 2 g's a month (I don't think he will like that)
So, she is thinking about it. Told the oldest one that she is "confused" She doesn't want to hurt John, but doesn't want to hurt me, loves him, but didn't say how she felt about me (not that I don't know what she is saying now, but she wouldn't/couldn't tell the oldest one) wants to make the right decision, etc.
So either way she will be out of the house by the end of the month. Either with me working this out in TX or on her ass.
I am not proud that it has come to this and that I had to give her this ultimatum. I tried to be better, walk the higher road, do the Godly thing, let her play things out, etc. But she was just taking advantage of me assuming that I would just not worry about it and that if it didn't work out with him she would have me as the backup to continue to support her. Well, I can't do that any more. She has just been using the advice of the counselor as a tool to contiue her affair. Well, she has the choices in front of her, dump dick head and move out here by the 31st or don't. If she, doesn't she knows she has to be out of the house by the 31st and it is not my concern where she goes or how she lives and supports herself and the kids. She gets the 600 month from me and that is it. She will get to be just like her friend who is 4 years younger, two kids and a life of hardship.
Time for her to grow up!
She then tried to blame everything on me. Look what you are doing to the kids! They can't finish school (she'll just have and extra few miles to drive for 10 days) your making them sell the dog, I don't know where I will live, but what about the kids, look what you are putting them through. She tried to tell me I am just being a jerk, I told her that it is not me that is causing this.
You are the one that is deciding that our marriage is not worth saving any more and that you are the one cheating. Everything that is happening now is a direct result of what you are doing.
She tried then to tell me that 3 months ago when she wanted separate bedrooms that she felt we still had a chance, but since I didn't agree to that because I thought it was wrong, it kept up the pressure on her so then the chance dissappeard. Originally she told me she thought it would make the transition easier or that she expected me to boot her out at that point making her decisin easier. I explained to her that she was already seeing this guy so how could that be?
She also tried to tell me that if I hadn't tossed her out that she may have found out a few months down the road that he wasn't the one and might have seen that I was not so bad and we would have been able to work on us. But now that I have tossed her out that chance was gone. I was like whatever! She says I am scared to live on my own without her. Wrong, I am, I don't like it, but I am not scared.
Right now she is and I finally think she is realizing that no matter how much I verbally abused her, she returned it as well and that all of this at the moment is a direct result of her actions and choices. She tried to tell me that I had told her I didn't care if she stayed there and continued to see him. I reminded her that I said I didn't care if she stayed there as long as she had cut the ties with him and that if she didn't I couldn't condone her actions while I supported her. I pulled the carpet out from under her.
She kept trying to tell me that he has nothing to do with it. Wrong, he does in a big way. I told I know because I have first hand experience in the matter. I was where she is now many, many years ago. I explained to her that I felt the same way, etc. But that I realized I was wrong and ended it and as soon as I did, my feelings started to come back for her.
After I told her to leave I then explained to my oldest why she has to move out. She then later on told him as well, but sugar coated.
I gave her the final option, since we are married she asked me what I wanted to do, so I told her that she moves out here, we see a marriage counselor and do marriage counseling, not this individual crap and we start acting married again. She was like what about my jobs? I just abandon the parents. I was like either way on the 31st of May you are out of the house so it won't matter any way except you have to live with your friend for a while in a cramped 2 bedroom apt, with no way to pay your bills except for dickhead giving you about 2 g's a month (I don't think he will like that)
So, she is thinking about it. Told the oldest one that she is "confused" She doesn't want to hurt John, but doesn't want to hurt me, loves him, but didn't say how she felt about me (not that I don't know what she is saying now, but she wouldn't/couldn't tell the oldest one) wants to make the right decision, etc.
So either way she will be out of the house by the end of the month. Either with me working this out in TX or on her ass.
I am not proud that it has come to this and that I had to give her this ultimatum. I tried to be better, walk the higher road, do the Godly thing, let her play things out, etc. But she was just taking advantage of me assuming that I would just not worry about it and that if it didn't work out with him she would have me as the backup to continue to support her. Well, I can't do that any more. She has just been using the advice of the counselor as a tool to contiue her affair. Well, she has the choices in front of her, dump dick head and move out here by the 31st or don't. If she, doesn't she knows she has to be out of the house by the 31st and it is not my concern where she goes or how she lives and supports herself and the kids. She gets the 600 month from me and that is it. She will get to be just like her friend who is 4 years younger, two kids and a life of hardship.
Time for her to grow up!
