I need help (relationship question)

[Advaik]

There's this girl that I've really liked for 4+ years and I asked her out about 2 years ago, but she blew me off. Now two years later I got the guts to start talking to her again. I've been talking to her everyday on the internet, and found out she is currently not really seeing anyone. I'm kind of a shy guy, but I'm not a loser. I didn't look too good 2 years ago (kind of fat, tons of acne, and looked horrible), but I've been working out and I get alot of compliments on my looks now.

Now I am attracted to her more than ever. I don't know how she feels about me, and I don't want to come out and ask.

My question is how do I let her know I like her? I've dropped a ton of hints, but I don't think she knows.

Another thing is, I really want to be with her. Should I try to be friends with her and build a relationship from that or should I just try to go out with her?

 

[danielson]

girls will probably say try and be friendly to her

id say act slightly aloof, be friendly towards her but not overly so, dont try and smother her with too many comments about how good she looks etc because in female brains this means your a loser, and then just ask her out and take it from there

then again what do i know

 

[alphaxi]

Just tell her how you feel...if you dont at least tell her...then you will never know what could come of it and you will be asking yourself "what if questions"

Good luck!

BTW--Danielson...good advice! Sounds like you DO know something...hehe...j/k

 

[Advaik]

don't be overly nice? Arg I tell her she looks great almost everyday. I don't just come out and say it, she always says something bad about herself them I say the exact opposite. I thought that is what I was supposed to do?

 

[danielson]

don't be overly nice? Arg I tell her she looks great almost everyday. I don't just come out and say it, she always says something bad about herself them I say the exact opposite. I thought that is what I was supposed to do?

yup, so did i. i still do. im not going to anymore though, or a least not all the time. if shes a nice girl she'll realise that constructive criticism IF put across nicely is a good thing

but never say she's fat. thats a golden rule. never insinuate she could lose a few pounds etc i guess you know that though.


just compliment her when she deserves it but not too much, ya know what i mean.



(btw thanks alphaxi if only i could remember to take my own advice every once in a while )

 

[PHATchik]

I struggled with this same issue. There is a guy that I have had feelings for off and on for two years. I just couldn't get over him. It came out once that I had feelings for him. Long story on how that happened. But anyway, unforunately, he was involved with someone at the time. So yes, we had serious bad timing. He's single now. But do I intend to make a move? No. He and I are really close friends. Sometimes, I think that's all I want and should ever have wanted. I still have flickerings of those feelings pop up. Who knows what lays in store for any of us? I kinda wonder if maybe there's a reason I can't get over this guy. Who knows? Right now, I am content with simply being his friend. it works for me and makes me happy. Do what your heart tells you. That is the most important advice I can give you.

 

[alphaxi]

don't be overly nice? Arg I tell her she looks great almost everyday. I don't just come out and say it, she always says something bad about herself them I say the exact opposite. I thought that is what I was supposed to do?

Dont be OVERLY nice...to the point where you may get on her nerves...LOL...but sure, give her a compliment here and there...but like Danielson said..dont overdo it!

But like I said before, just tell her how you feel. If its meant to be between the two of you it will happen...just be patient!!

 

[Advaik]

What if I tell her how I feel but she is not even slightly interested in me? Shouldn't I try to build a relationship with her first? I want to tell her how I feel but I am just afraid she will blow me off again. At the very least I want to be friends with her, but if I come out and tell her how I feel it might scare her off. Arg I am so confused!

 

[alphaxi]

Hmmm...well....I guess my only advice would be BE PATIENT! I know that its easier said than done..but just remain friendly toward her and hopefully she will see what a great person you are and want to be more than friends...

Honestly though...if you DO decide to tell her how you feel and she blows you off...then that just gives you reason to find the right girl who is out there for you.

 

[Advaik]

Thanks for the info guys. I think I will tell her, I mean I really like her and even if she does blow me off, I guess I really c ouldn't handle her being "just a friend" anyways.

But how do I tell her? Do I just come out or build up to it or what? Gaw this seems so easy but it's so hard!