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I just wanna sing
- Thread starter perkele
- Start date
http://www.imagefap.com/gallery.php?gid=433074hotzie said:link
Scene 14
NARRATOR: The Tale of Sir Launcelot.
FATHER: One day, lad, all this will be yours!
PRINCE HERBERT: What, the curtains?
FATHER: No. Not the curtains, lad. All that you can see, stretched out over the hills and valleys of this land! This'll be your kingdom, lad.
HERBERT: But Mother--
FATHER: Father, lad. Father.
HERBERT: B-- b-- but Father, I don't want any of that.
FATHER: Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle
on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So, I built a third
one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp, but the fourth one... stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad: the strongest castle
in these islands.
HERBERT: But I don't want any of that. I'd rather--
FATHER: Rather what?!
HERBERT: I'd rather...
[music]
...just... sing!
FATHER: Stop that! Stop that! You're not going into a song while I'm here. Now listen, lad. In twenty minutes, you're getting married to a girl whose
father owns the biggest tracts of open land in Britain.
HERBERT: B-- but I don't want land.
FATHER: Listen, Alice,--
HERBERT: Herbert.
FATHER: 'Erbert. We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land we can get.
HERBERT: But-- but I don't like her.
FATHER: Don't like her?! What's wrong with her?! She's beautiful. She's rich. She's got huge... tracts o' land!
HERBERT: I know, but I want the-- the girl that I marry to have...
[music]
...a certain,... special... something!
FATHER: Cut that out! Cut that out! Look, you're marrying Princess Lucky, so you'd better get used to the idea!
[smack]
Guards! Make sure the Prince doesn't leave this room until I come and get him.
GUARD #1: Not to leave the room even if you come and get him.
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: No, no. Until I come and get him.
GUARD #1: Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room.
FATHER: No, no. No. You stay in the room and make sure he doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: And you'll come and get him.
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Right.
GUARD #1: We don't need to do anything apart from just stop him entering the room.
FATHER: No, no. Leaving the room.
GUARD #1: Leaving the room. Yes.
[sniff]
FATHER: All right?
GUARD #1: Right.
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Right.
GUARD #1: Oh, if-- if-- if, uhh-- if-- if-- w-- ehh-- i-- if-- if we--
FATHER: Yes? What is it?
GUARD #1: Oh, i-- if-- i-- oh--
FATHER: Look, it's quite simple.
GUARD #1: Uh...
FATHER: You just stay here and make sure 'e doesn't leave the room. All right?
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Right.
GUARD #1: Oh, I remember. Uhh, can he leave the room with us?
FATHER: N-- no, no. No. You just keep him in here and make sure he--
GUARD #1: Oh, yes. We'll keep him in here, obviously, but if he had to leave and we were with him--
FATHER: No, no, no, no. Just keep him in here--
GUARD #1: Until you or anyone else--
FATHER: No, not anyone else. Just me.
GUARD #1: Just you.
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Get back.
GUARD #1: Get back.
FATHER: All right?
GUARD #1: Right. We'll stay here until you get back.
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: And, uh, make sure he doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: What?
FATHER: Make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: The Prince?
FATHER: Yes. Make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: Oh, yes, of course.
GUARD #2: Hic!
GUARD #1: Ah. I thought you meant him. You know, it seemed a bit daft me havin' to guard him when he's a guard.
FATHER: Is that clear?
GUARD #2: Hic!
GUARD #1: Oh, quite clear. No problems.
FATHER: Right. Where are you going?
GUARD #1: We're coming with you.
FATHER: No, no. I want you to stay here and make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: Oh, I see. Right.
HERBERT: But Father!
FATHER: Shut your noise, you! And get that suit on!
[music]
And no singing!
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Oh, go and get a glass of water.
[clank]
[scribble scribble scribble fold fold]
[twong]
NARRATOR: The Tale of Sir Launcelot.
FATHER: One day, lad, all this will be yours!
PRINCE HERBERT: What, the curtains?
FATHER: No. Not the curtains, lad. All that you can see, stretched out over the hills and valleys of this land! This'll be your kingdom, lad.
HERBERT: But Mother--
FATHER: Father, lad. Father.
HERBERT: B-- b-- but Father, I don't want any of that.
FATHER: Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle
on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So, I built a third
one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp, but the fourth one... stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad: the strongest castle
in these islands.
HERBERT: But I don't want any of that. I'd rather--
FATHER: Rather what?!
HERBERT: I'd rather...
[music]
...just... sing!
FATHER: Stop that! Stop that! You're not going into a song while I'm here. Now listen, lad. In twenty minutes, you're getting married to a girl whose
father owns the biggest tracts of open land in Britain.
HERBERT: B-- but I don't want land.
FATHER: Listen, Alice,--
HERBERT: Herbert.
FATHER: 'Erbert. We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land we can get.
HERBERT: But-- but I don't like her.
FATHER: Don't like her?! What's wrong with her?! She's beautiful. She's rich. She's got huge... tracts o' land!
HERBERT: I know, but I want the-- the girl that I marry to have...
[music]
...a certain,... special... something!
FATHER: Cut that out! Cut that out! Look, you're marrying Princess Lucky, so you'd better get used to the idea!
[smack]
Guards! Make sure the Prince doesn't leave this room until I come and get him.
GUARD #1: Not to leave the room even if you come and get him.
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: No, no. Until I come and get him.
GUARD #1: Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room.
FATHER: No, no. No. You stay in the room and make sure he doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: And you'll come and get him.
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Right.
GUARD #1: We don't need to do anything apart from just stop him entering the room.
FATHER: No, no. Leaving the room.
GUARD #1: Leaving the room. Yes.
[sniff]
FATHER: All right?
GUARD #1: Right.
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Right.
GUARD #1: Oh, if-- if-- if, uhh-- if-- if-- w-- ehh-- i-- if-- if we--
FATHER: Yes? What is it?
GUARD #1: Oh, i-- if-- i-- oh--
FATHER: Look, it's quite simple.
GUARD #1: Uh...
FATHER: You just stay here and make sure 'e doesn't leave the room. All right?
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Right.
GUARD #1: Oh, I remember. Uhh, can he leave the room with us?
FATHER: N-- no, no. No. You just keep him in here and make sure he--
GUARD #1: Oh, yes. We'll keep him in here, obviously, but if he had to leave and we were with him--
FATHER: No, no, no, no. Just keep him in here--
GUARD #1: Until you or anyone else--
FATHER: No, not anyone else. Just me.
GUARD #1: Just you.
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Get back.
GUARD #1: Get back.
FATHER: All right?
GUARD #1: Right. We'll stay here until you get back.
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: And, uh, make sure he doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: What?
FATHER: Make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: The Prince?
FATHER: Yes. Make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: Oh, yes, of course.
GUARD #2: Hic!
GUARD #1: Ah. I thought you meant him. You know, it seemed a bit daft me havin' to guard him when he's a guard.
FATHER: Is that clear?
GUARD #2: Hic!
GUARD #1: Oh, quite clear. No problems.
FATHER: Right. Where are you going?
GUARD #1: We're coming with you.
FATHER: No, no. I want you to stay here and make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: Oh, I see. Right.
HERBERT: But Father!
FATHER: Shut your noise, you! And get that suit on!
[music]
And no singing!
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Oh, go and get a glass of water.
[clank]
[scribble scribble scribble fold fold]
[twong]
Scene 15
LAUNCELOT: Well taken, Concorde!
CONCORDE: Thank you, sir! Most kind.
LAUNCELOT: And again! Over we go! Good. Steady! And now, the big one! Uuh! Come on, Concorde!
[thwonk]
CONCORDE: Message for you, sir.
[fwump]
LAUNCELOT: Concorde! Concorde! Speak to me! 'To whoever finds this note: I have been imprisoned by my father, who wishes me to marry against
my will. Please, please, please come and rescue me. I am in the Tall Tower of Swamp Castle.' At last! A call! A cry of distress! This could be the sign
that leads us to the Holy Grail! Brave, brave Concorde, you shall not have died in vain!
CONCORDE: Uh, I'm-- I'm not quite dead, sir.
LAUNCELOT: Well, you shall not have been mortally wounded in vain!
CONCORDE: I-- I-- I think I c-- I could pull through, sir.
LAUNCELOT: Oh, I see.
CONCORDE: Actually, I think I'm all right to come with you, sir--
LAUNCELOT: No, no, sweet Concorde! Stay here! I will send help as soon as I have accomplished a daring and heroic rescue in my own particular...
[sigh]
CONCORDE: Idiom, sir?
LAUNCELOT: Idiom!
CONCORDE: No, I feel fine, actually, sir.
LAUNCELOT: Farewell, sweet Concorde!
CONCORDE: I'll, um-- I'll just stay here, then. Shall I, sir? Yeah.
LAUNCELOT: Well taken, Concorde!
CONCORDE: Thank you, sir! Most kind.
LAUNCELOT: And again! Over we go! Good. Steady! And now, the big one! Uuh! Come on, Concorde!
[thwonk]
CONCORDE: Message for you, sir.
[fwump]
LAUNCELOT: Concorde! Concorde! Speak to me! 'To whoever finds this note: I have been imprisoned by my father, who wishes me to marry against
my will. Please, please, please come and rescue me. I am in the Tall Tower of Swamp Castle.' At last! A call! A cry of distress! This could be the sign
that leads us to the Holy Grail! Brave, brave Concorde, you shall not have died in vain!
CONCORDE: Uh, I'm-- I'm not quite dead, sir.
LAUNCELOT: Well, you shall not have been mortally wounded in vain!
CONCORDE: I-- I-- I think I c-- I could pull through, sir.
LAUNCELOT: Oh, I see.
CONCORDE: Actually, I think I'm all right to come with you, sir--
LAUNCELOT: No, no, sweet Concorde! Stay here! I will send help as soon as I have accomplished a daring and heroic rescue in my own particular...
[sigh]
CONCORDE: Idiom, sir?
LAUNCELOT: Idiom!
CONCORDE: No, I feel fine, actually, sir.
LAUNCELOT: Farewell, sweet Concorde!
CONCORDE: I'll, um-- I'll just stay here, then. Shall I, sir? Yeah.
Scene 16
[inside castle]
PRINCESS LUCKY and GIRLS: [giggle giggle giggle]
[outside castle]
GUEST: 'Morning!
SENTRY #1: 'Morning.
SENTRY #2: Oooh.
SENTRY #1: [ptoo]
LAUNCELOT: Ha ha! Hiyya!
SENTRY #2: Hey!
LAUNCELOT: Hiyya!, Ha!, etc.
PRINCESS LUCKY and GIRLS: [giggle giggle giggle]
LAUNCELOT: Ha ha! Huy!
GUESTS: Uuh! Aaah!
LAUNCELOT: Ha ha! And take this! Aah! Hiyah! Aah! Aaah! Hyy! Hya! Hiyya! Ha!...
GUARD #1: Now, you're not allowed to enter the room-- aaugh!
LAUNCELOT: O fair one, behold your humble servant, Sir Launcelot of Camelot. I have come to take y-- Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
HERBERT: You got my note!
LAUNCELOT: Uh, well, I-- I got a-- a note.
HERBERT: You've come to rescue me!
LAUNCELOT: Uh, well, no. You see, I hadn't--
HERBERT: I knew someone would. I knew that somewhere out there...
[music]
LAUNCELOT: Well, I--
HERBERT: ...there must be... someone...
FATHER: Stop that! Stop that! Stop it! Stop it! Who are you?
HERBERT: I'm your son!
FATHER: No, not you.
LAUNCELOT: Uh, I am Sir Launcelot, sir.
HERBERT: He's come to rescue me, Father.
LAUNCELOT: Well, let's not jump to conclusions.
FATHER: Did you kill all those guards?
LAUNCELOT: Uh... Oh, yes. Sorry.
FATHER: They cost fifty pounds each!
LAUNCELOT: Well, I'm awfully sorry. Um, I really can explain everything.
HERBERT: Don't be afraid of him, Sir Launcelot. I've got a rope all ready.
FATHER: You killed eight wedding guests in all!
LAUNCELOT: Well, uh, you see, the thing is, I thought your son was a lady.
FATHER: I can understand that.
HERBERT: Hurry, Sir Launcelot! Hurry!
FATHER: Shut up! You only killed the bride's father, that's all!
LAUNCELOT: Well, I really didn't mean to...
FATHER: Didn't mean to?! You put your sword right through his head!
LAUNCELOT: Oh, dear. Is he all right?
FATHER: You even kicked the bride in the chest! This is going to cost me a fortune!
LAUNCELOT: Well, I can explain. I was in the forest, um, riding north from Camelot, when I got this note, you see--
FATHER: Camelot? Are you from, uh, Camelot?
HERBERT: Hurry, Sir Launcelot!
LAUNCELOT: Uh, I am a Knight of King Arthur, sir.
FATHER: Very nice castle, Camelot. Uh, very good pig country.
LAUNCELOT: Is it?
HERBERT: Hurry! I'm ready!
FATHER: Would you, uh, like to come and have a drink?
LAUNCELOT: Well, that-- that's, uh, awfully nice of you,...
HERBERT: I am ready!
LAUNCELOT: ...um, I mean to be so understanding.
[thonk]
Um,...
[woosh]
HERBERT: Oooh!
LAUNCELOT: ...I'm afraid when I'm in this idiom, I sometimes get a bit, uh, sort of carried away.
FATHER: Oh, don't worry about that.
HERBERT: Oooh!
[splat]
[inside castle]
PRINCESS LUCKY and GIRLS: [giggle giggle giggle]
[outside castle]
GUEST: 'Morning!
SENTRY #1: 'Morning.
SENTRY #2: Oooh.
SENTRY #1: [ptoo]
LAUNCELOT: Ha ha! Hiyya!
SENTRY #2: Hey!
LAUNCELOT: Hiyya!, Ha!, etc.
PRINCESS LUCKY and GIRLS: [giggle giggle giggle]
LAUNCELOT: Ha ha! Huy!
GUESTS: Uuh! Aaah!
LAUNCELOT: Ha ha! And take this! Aah! Hiyah! Aah! Aaah! Hyy! Hya! Hiyya! Ha!...
GUARD #1: Now, you're not allowed to enter the room-- aaugh!
LAUNCELOT: O fair one, behold your humble servant, Sir Launcelot of Camelot. I have come to take y-- Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
HERBERT: You got my note!
LAUNCELOT: Uh, well, I-- I got a-- a note.
HERBERT: You've come to rescue me!
LAUNCELOT: Uh, well, no. You see, I hadn't--
HERBERT: I knew someone would. I knew that somewhere out there...
[music]
LAUNCELOT: Well, I--
HERBERT: ...there must be... someone...
FATHER: Stop that! Stop that! Stop it! Stop it! Who are you?
HERBERT: I'm your son!
FATHER: No, not you.
LAUNCELOT: Uh, I am Sir Launcelot, sir.
HERBERT: He's come to rescue me, Father.
LAUNCELOT: Well, let's not jump to conclusions.
FATHER: Did you kill all those guards?
LAUNCELOT: Uh... Oh, yes. Sorry.
FATHER: They cost fifty pounds each!
LAUNCELOT: Well, I'm awfully sorry. Um, I really can explain everything.
HERBERT: Don't be afraid of him, Sir Launcelot. I've got a rope all ready.
FATHER: You killed eight wedding guests in all!
LAUNCELOT: Well, uh, you see, the thing is, I thought your son was a lady.
FATHER: I can understand that.
HERBERT: Hurry, Sir Launcelot! Hurry!
FATHER: Shut up! You only killed the bride's father, that's all!
LAUNCELOT: Well, I really didn't mean to...
FATHER: Didn't mean to?! You put your sword right through his head!
LAUNCELOT: Oh, dear. Is he all right?
FATHER: You even kicked the bride in the chest! This is going to cost me a fortune!
LAUNCELOT: Well, I can explain. I was in the forest, um, riding north from Camelot, when I got this note, you see--
FATHER: Camelot? Are you from, uh, Camelot?
HERBERT: Hurry, Sir Launcelot!
LAUNCELOT: Uh, I am a Knight of King Arthur, sir.
FATHER: Very nice castle, Camelot. Uh, very good pig country.
LAUNCELOT: Is it?
HERBERT: Hurry! I'm ready!
FATHER: Would you, uh, like to come and have a drink?
LAUNCELOT: Well, that-- that's, uh, awfully nice of you,...
HERBERT: I am ready!
LAUNCELOT: ...um, I mean to be so understanding.
[thonk]
Um,...
[woosh]
HERBERT: Oooh!
LAUNCELOT: ...I'm afraid when I'm in this idiom, I sometimes get a bit, uh, sort of carried away.
FATHER: Oh, don't worry about that.
HERBERT: Oooh!
[splat]
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