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I have a question for the men in relationships...

flexygrl

flexygrl

New member
Do you always feel that you want to sleep with another women?

While on Vacation my husband and I had a pretty nasty fight. The cause was a couple comments he made:

1) At the resort a lot of women were walking around in bathing suits. I said something about it and he replied, " yeah, I know, this damn place..."

My vibe off this was that he was sexually frustrated cause he could only look.

2) We went with another couple. During lunch I glanced over at my husband and noticed him laughing through his drinking glass, looking at his friend. They were giggling over a girl who had her short, shorts on that showed most of her ass.

I let this go, didn't make too big a deal of it.

3) At dinner, we got on the subject of that girl again. And he basically said that the girls didn't have much to look at, but that 3/4's of the women on the resort were hot. My reply to this was that unlike him, when I am with someone, no one else even compares to him. If I saw good looking man, I could appreciate his physique, maybe his face, but I wouldn't lust after that person.

This really pissed me off. And it also hurt me and embarrased me. I felt really disrepected and very unsure about our relationship.

My question is, do all men do this? Do all men look and lust after women who are not their wives?

My point for asking is, although I don't have the best body in the world(working on it) I'm only 25. I'm too young to feel like a 40 year old woman, who's been married for 10 years. I really feel that by not having my husbands "full" attention that I am missing out on something in my life.

Am I silly to think that there could be someone better out there for me, or are all men like this.

Also, I've only been with 2 men in my life so I don't have much to compare to. Thanks in advance.
 
Wow...I feel bad for the guy, hes on vacation and hes still under a microscope...especially when you "busted" him goofing around with another guy...my advice? Relax and try not to bust his balls over every insignificant detail.
 
Anabolic,

I totally understand your point. He was not under the microscope. I felt really hurt by the comments. I really thought it was rude. When you love someone aren't you suppose to try hard not to hurt them? Especially if you know what bothers them? I don't mind him looking, really I don't. But this was a little beyond looking.
 
flexygrl said:
Anabolic,

I totally understand your point. He was not under the microscope. I felt really hurt by the comments. I really thought it was rude. When you love someone aren't you suppose to try hard not to hurt them? Especially if you know what bothers them? I don't mind him looking, really I don't. But this was a little beyond looking.
Click to expand...

Oh hi flexy, I'm so out of it I didnt know who I was responding to. Anyways, it did seem to me that he was entrapped a little, as you made the original bathing suit comment and he only replied to it, and maybe Im just a defensive guy but yes men do lust after other women, I dont know what you can do about that other than bringing it up and letting it start fights between you.
This part is very revealing:

"3) At dinner, we got on the subject of that girl again. And he basically said that the girls didn't have much to look at, but that 3/4's of the women on the resort were hot. My reply to this was that unlike him, when I am with someone, no one else even compares to him. If I saw good looking man, I could appreciate his physique, maybe his face, but I wouldn't lust after that person."

He gave you an honest answer and you hit him over the head with it in this situation, I believe. He just said the women were hotter than the men and you made him feel like hes a big jerk for not only ever thinking about only you.
 
Hummmm..... sometimes I look at girls just to piss my girlfriend off when she's already getting on my nerves.

Being that you are at a resort where 3/4's of the women are hot, your BF just might not be used to being around that amount of attractive women and so he's looking around like a kid at a toy store.

If he's usually not like this, then I wouldn't worry about it. But if you go home and he still eagerly and obviously looks at other women in front of you, then maybe you should have a serious talk about it.
 
Psycho Alert

Personally, i think ur a nutter who over-analyses people, particularly your b/f due to your own insecurities/

get help, you need it.
 
we are men and we think with our d-cks. whether u want to believe it or not, we will always "check out" other women in front of u or behind ur back. the key is to figure out if he is just being a guy and noticing that these other girls are hot, or lusting after these girls. it could just be harmless. you're saying u dont check other guys out? u dont think to urself, "Oh he's cute"?
 
It's perfectly normal for a man to look at other women. No matter how secure the relationship may be.

What the heck are you going to do if he tells you he fantasizes about other women while having sex with you, divorce him?

Again that is prefectly normal. You need to relax a little. Talk to a sex therapist and it may ease your mind a little.
 
Psycho Alert (post #6)
Click to expand...

You're an asshole. You have 7 posts and you past judgement on me. You haven't even been around long enough to know anything about me.




Everyone else,

Thanks! I guess I'm just feeling a little insecure and frustrated. It just sucks that a girl who hasn't lifted a weight in her life and probably eats junk gets more looks and more attention from the only person in the world that means everything to me, than I do. I hope that in a year or so from now, when I am where I want to be physically that this will not be an issue. I really feel dumb even thinking about this crap. There are more important issues in the world to be concerned with.

As always, you are all the voice of reason. Thanks for the very kind responses!!!:D
 
You call the guy an asshole when he calls you insecure. He probably is an asshole, but you state that you are being insecure in the same sentence that you call him an asshole. Hmm...maybe he knows you better than you think? Either way no matter. The point is : this is the way the male species was designed and built from the beginning. TO PROCREATE, you know, a continuation the species type of thing. He can't help looking any more than he can help the reaction he has after he looks. It's normal, completely normal. Granted, there is a point at which it can become rude when a guy is with his wife or date. It's unfortunate as hell but still a fact that he will spend the remainder of his life fighting what come totally natural to him to keep from pissing you or some othe woman off because of what god himself put into this man. Harsh but true---learn to deal with it or it's gonna be a LONG haul.
 
and, for the record, this is not an issue that will be solved when you are "where you want to be" physically. this is a mental thing (not that u are mental). it's probably half jealousy (a natural human emotion) and half not understanding what your man's motive's are. ever try explaining to him how it makes u feel (not bitching, just explaining) and then maybe that will lead into him being able to explain to you why he looks at other women.
 
Re: Psycho Alert

FatStoner said:
Personally, i think ur a nutter who over-analyses people, particularly your b/f due to your own insecurities/

get help, you need it.
Click to expand...

Wow yet another tosser discovers EF.
 
flexygrl said:
Thanks! I guess I'm just feeling a little insecure and frustrated. It just sucks that a girl who hasn't lifted a weight in her life and probably eats junk gets more looks and more attention from the only person in the world that means everything to me, than I do. I hope that in a year or so from now, when I am where I want to be physically that this will not be an issue. I really feel dumb even thinking about this crap. There are more important issues in the world to be concerned with.
Click to expand...

i know many good looking girls who have never stepped foot into a gym. they just have to 'eat lightly' and guys will still want to fuck them. must be nice.
 
Re: Psycho Alert

FatStoner said:
Personally, i think ur a nutter who over-analyses people, particularly your b/f due to your own insecurities/

get help, you need it.
Click to expand...


Actually I agree with him. You need to get over whatever insecurities you have and relax. My fiance and I both point out good looking people. Hell we even BS about fucking other people. You know why? B/c we feel secure about our relationship and know that neither of us would actually do anything with the person in question.
 
When I am with my girlfriend, I am in heaven. She is the most beautiful girl in my eyes, and I am not even remotely attracted to others.

We went to 6flags a couple days ago, and after the trip was over she mentioned that she saw me looking at one girl and that it had hurt her and she felt sort of jelous. This hurt me so fucking much, and I even told her there is more of a chance I was looking at the mascular guy behind that girl than the girl herself. (NO I AM NOT GAY)

Don't think most guys are like this, but when I am with her I AM WITH HER.

When I am talking to friends, if one of them comments on how hot this or that girl is yes I will respond. I'll say they are pretty or hot or whatever, but I will just be judging them from an outside prespective ... I still have absolutely no desire to "bang" them or anything of the sort.

For all the guys that think this isn't a big deal, how many of you would you appreciate your girl looking at every passing guy with lust? Nuff said.

-sk
 
Re: Re: Psycho Alert

Stangfriik said:



Actually I agree with him. You need to get over whatever insecurities you have and relax. My fiance and I both point out good looking people. Hell we even BS about fucking other people. You know why? B/c we feel secure about our relationship and know that neither of us would actually do anything with the person in question.
Click to expand...

This is a little bit different. If you guys have developed a relationship where you can judge others together it becomes much more comfortable. I know if my gf asks me what I think of that girl, i'll tell the truth but still doesn't mean I wanna do anything with her.

Honestly though, would you appreciate your gf looking at another guy like she is ready to fuck him? Females are faced with this everyday ...

-sk
 
BTW, if I am single all I ever do is look around. I actually fix my hair, try to immidietely drop my bf under 8%, and go to clubs and bars all the time.

-sk
 
Like everyone said, men will always look at other women because it's part of their nature, any man that says otherwise is a liar. It's the manner in which he does this that matters. If he truly loves you, he should make you feel like the most special woman in the world. I looked at other women all the time and sometimes like you, my wife would get offended. But when I loved her, I wouldn't have traded her for any woman in the world.
 
Last edited:
biteme said:
Like everyone said, men will always look at other women because it's part of their nature, any many that says otherwise is a liar. It's the manner in which he does this that matters. If he truly loves you, he should make you feel like the most special woman in the world. I looked at other women all the time and sometimes like you, my wife would get offended. But when I loved her, I wouldn't have traded her for any woman in the world.
Click to expand...

I'm not lying, no reason to do so.

-sk
 
flexygrl said:
[/B]
Click to expand...
My question is, do all men do this? Do all men look and lust after women who are not their wives?[/B][/QUOTE]

Yes.


[/B][/QUOTE]Am I silly to think that there could be someone better out there for me.[/B][/QUOTE]

Very.

[/B][/QUOTE]Also, I've only been with 2 men in my life so I don't have much to compare to. [/B][/QUOTE]

One man is much like another.
 
Wow!! Thanks again everyone!


1) I called the poster an asshole because he called me psycho, not insecure.

2) SK hit it on the head. It hurts!!! Big time! He is #1 in my life. No one is above him. I never, ever, ever will look at a man hopeing for one chance to bang him. My husband and I talked about this again last night as it is still bothering me. He said, "yeah for one second, I think to myself, man what would I do with that, than reality sets in and I realize I'm married."

Yes, I asked for an honest answer and that is what I got.....but it still sucks.

3) I made a life commitment to be with my husband. I am not trying to get out of our relationship, I'm just asking for advice.
I got the advice I needed. I just have to stop living in la, la land and face reality.

My question was answered...this is life... and I must deal with it. Sometimes it's good to speak to other people who have been there. When you are in a relationship it is so easy to become sheltered. The world you know is the world that consists of you and your SO, when in truth, there is so much out there.

Anyway, thanks again everyone!!:)
 
flexygrl said:
Wow!! Thanks again everyone!


1) I called the poster an asshole because he called me psycho, not insecure.

2) SK hit it on the head. It hurts!!! Big time! He is #1 in my life. No one is above him. I never, ever, ever will look at a man hopeing for one chance to bang him. My husband and I talked about this again last night as it is still bothering me. He said, "yeah for one second, I think to myself, man what would I do with that, than reality sets in and I realize I'm married."

Yes, I asked for an honest answer and that is what I got.....but it still sucks.

3) I made a life commitment to be with my husband. I am not trying to get out of our relationship, I'm just asking for advice.
I got the advice I needed. I just have to stop living in la, la land and face reality.

My question was answered...this is life... and I must deal with it. Sometimes it's good to speak to other people who have been there. When you are in a relationship it is so easy to become sheltered. The world you know is the world that consists of you and your SO, when in truth, there is so much out there.

Anyway, thanks again everyone!!:)
Click to expand...

Hate to tell you this, but he is cheating on you or will cheat on you. You probably won't wanna accept it, but it's the sad truth.

If you look like you wanna fuck them, sooner or later you will get the opportunity and eventually act on it.

I know if my gf kept looking at other guys, she would mean nothing more to me than a sex object, as I wouldn't be able to respect her ... and if I actually cared for her than I would dump her and move on. That's just me though.

-sk
 
You came to the right concusion flexy. Men will always look at and lust after other women. Some women fool themselves into thinking "oh, not MY man." and if the man can keep up the deception that's fine.

Hey sometimes a guy can get all horned up checking out the hotties and that makes him want to fuck you even more. Now where's teh harm in that: ;)
 
Jesus moron, you just could'nt let it go could ya. Now she's gonna be bustin his balls for something some dickwad said he was gonna in the future. Granted, he probably will, (statistically speaking), but youe did'nt have to tell her like that!!
 
sk* said:


Hate to tell you this, but he is cheating on you or will cheat on you. You probably won't wanna accept it, but it's the sad truth.

If you look like you wanna fuck them, sooner or later you will get the opportunity and eventually act on it.

I know if my gf kept looking at other guys, she would mean nothing more to me than a sex object, as I wouldn't be able to respect her ... and if I actually cared for her than I would dump her and move on. That's just me though.

-sk
Click to expand...

You need to think b4 you write. You sound insecure. I never fucked another woman when I was married and I looked all the time. Same with my dad. Flexy, don't listen to him. Just because your husband checks out other women doesn't necessarily mean that he will cheat. Ever heard, "Just because you're on a diet, doesn't mean you can't read the menu."
 
Lumberg said:
You came to the right concusion flexy. Men will always look at and lust after other women. Some women fool themselves into thinking "oh, not MY man." and if the man can keep up the deception that's fine.

Hey sometimes a guy can get all horned up checking out the hotties and that makes him want to fuck you even more. Now where's teh harm in that: ;)
Click to expand...

I disagree with you!

There is a difference between looking at a woman and thinking she is hot, attractive or what have you and looking at a woman and having sexual thoughts about her.

We are all humans and as long as we are alive we will look at something we find attractive. However to look at lust after a person when you are in a relationship, especially if you do it while with your SO is completely out of line.

Yes he may get all horned up checking someone out which could be a plus for you later but to lust over a person is still wrong.
 
KJ,

I will not be busting his balls. Don't worry!!! If he ever cheats on me he's gone. I deserve better than that. I will not be looking for it at all.:)
 
nvrbuffenuff_girl said:


I disagree with you!

There is a difference between looking at a woman and thinking she is hot, attractive or what have you and looking at a woman and having sexual thoughts about her.

We are all humans and as long as we are alive we will look at something we find attractive. However to look at lust after a person when you are in a relationship, especially if you do it while with your SO is completely out of line.

Yes he may get all horned up checking someone out which could be a plus for you later but to lust over a person is still wrong.
Click to expand...

Staring at a girl and thinking she's hot IS lusting after her in my book. What attracts up to members of the opposite sex? The thought that you would like to mix your genes with theirs and create offspring. So it's impossible to separate "thinking she is attractive" and "lusting after her."

Point is, you fuck your wife when you're horny. Even if it's other people that originally made you horny, it's your wife with whom you haev a deep spiritual connection, so sex is th e best with her anyway. End of story.
 
Lumberg said:


Staring at a girl and thinking she's hot IS lusting after her in my book. What attracts up to members of the opposite sex? The thought that you would like to mix your genes with theirs and create offspring. So it's impossible to separate "thinking she is attractive" and "lusting after her."

Point is, you fuck your wife when you're horny. Even if it's other people that originally made you horny, it's your wife with whom you haev a deep spiritual connection, so sex is th e best with her anyway. End of story.
Click to expand...


Men....
They always THINK they are right.

:rolleyes:








;)
 
flexygrl said:
Do you always feel that you want to sleep with another women?
Click to expand...

Yes.
Always.
That desire will never stop.

The sooner you realise this & deal with it the better. Don't bother dumping your man over it cuz the next guy will be exactly the same.
 
[3) At dinner, we got on the subject of that girl again. And he basically said that the girls didn't have much to look at, but that 3/4's of the women on the resort were hot. /B][/QUOTE]


IF he was asked, he should have said:

"Yeah - some of them are hot, but they are not my type."
 
nvrbuffenuff_girl said:
There is a difference between looking at a woman and thinking she is hot, attractive or what have you and looking at a woman and having sexual thoughts about her.
Click to expand...

LOL
You have NO idea what men think.

Don't disagree with the men on this board when we are telling you what MEN think.

All men see a hotty and think 'I'd love to see that on all fours in front of me doin' her doggy'.
Dont kid yourself.
 
biteme said:


You need to think b4 you write. You sound insecure. I never fucked another woman when I was married and I looked all the time. Same with my dad. Flexy, don't listen to him. Just because your husband checks out other women doesn't necessarily mean that he will cheat. Ever heard, "Just because you're on a diet, doesn't mean you can't read the menu."
Click to expand...

Insecure? Bwahahahahaha, yes I am very insecure. :rolleyes:

You probably never cheated because no girl threw herself at you. If you look at them like you wanna fuck them, eventually you will ... IF the opportunity presents itself.

So buddy, are you gonna tell me you would have no problem if your wife looked at every hot guy with lusting eyes ... you know the eyes that say I wish you would get naked and slam your cock in me??? Yea ok, that is just like reading the menu.

-sk
 
Bullit said:


LOL
You have NO idea what men think.

Don't disagree with the men on this board when we are telling you what MEN think.

All men see a hotty and think 'I'd love to see that on all fours in front of me doin' her doggy'.
Dont kid yourself.
Click to expand...

I love it how you and everyone else makes generalizations about half the population.

Yes, I am like that when I am single. Something happens to me and I want to hump everything that walks, but if I am in a serious relationship all those thoughts dissapear. This is just me, maybe I am the only male like that. :rolleyes:

-sk
 
sk* said:


Insecure? Bwahahahahaha, yes I am very insecure. :rolleyes:

You probably never cheated because no girl threw herself at you. If you look at them like you wanna fuck them, eventually you will ... IF the opportunity presents itself.

So buddy, are you gonna tell me you would have no problem if your wife looked at every hot guy with lusting eyes ... you know the eyes that say I wish you would get naked and slam your cock in me??? Yea ok, that is just like reading the menu.

-sk
Click to expand...

Yeah, if she made it very obvious and said to me, "Gee, I'd like to know how that guy's cock would feel inside me." They look to, don't kid yourself, if you are secure with your mate it shouldn't bother you.
 
flexygrl said:
Do you always feel that you want to sleep with another women?

While on Vacation my husband and I had a pretty nasty fight. The cause was a couple comments he made:

1) At the resort a lot of women were walking around in bathing suits. I said something about it and he replied, " yeah, I know, this damn place..."

My vibe off this was that he was sexually frustrated cause he could only look.

2) We went with another couple. During lunch I glanced over at my husband and noticed him laughing through his drinking glass, looking at his friend. They were giggling over a girl who had her short, shorts on that showed most of her ass.

I let this go, didn't make too big a deal of it.

3) At dinner, we got on the subject of that girl again. And he basically said that the girls didn't have much to look at, but that 3/4's of the women on the resort were hot. My reply to this was that unlike him, when I am with someone, no one else even compares to him. If I saw good looking man, I could appreciate his physique, maybe his face, but I wouldn't lust after that person.

This really pissed me off. And it also hurt me and embarrased me. I felt really disrepected and very unsure about our relationship.

My question is, do all men do this? Do all men look and lust after women who are not their wives?

My point for asking is, although I don't have the best body in the world(working on it) I'm only 25. I'm too young to feel like a 40 year old woman, who's been married for 10 years. I really feel that by not having my husbands "full" attention that I am missing out on something in my life.

Am I silly to think that there could be someone better out there for me, or are all men like this.

Also, I've only been with 2 men in my life so I don't have much to compare to. Thanks in advance.
Click to expand...



Atleast he is not looking at other men.
 
sk* said:


I love it how you and everyone else makes generalizations about half the population.

Yes, I am like that when I am single. Something happens to me and I want to hump everything that walks, but if I am in a serious relationship all those thoughts dissapear. This is just me, maybe I am the only male like that. :rolleyes:

-sk
Click to expand...

You are an aberration.
 
Biteme and SK,

Please do not fight. I appreciate both points of view. I really don't want anyone fighting over this very silly topic. Let's all just be nice to eachother.:D
 
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Reactions: sk*
biteme said:


You are an aberration.
Click to expand...

Yeah.
You (sk*) are, if you are being honest, in with about 0.026% of the population.
 
flexygrl said:
Biteme and SK,

Please do not fight. I appreciate both points of view. I really don't want anyone fighting over this very silly topic. Let's all just be nice to eachother.:D
Click to expand...

I wouldn't call it fighting. If everyone here agreed on everything, we would be a bunch of liars.
 
biteme said:


Yeah, if she made it very obvious and said to me, "Gee, I'd like to know how that guy's cock would feel inside me." They look to, don't kid yourself, if you are secure with your mate it shouldn't bother you.
Click to expand...

How come you are avoiding the question? Would you feel ok if your wife looked at other guys with lust?

You can call me insecure or not, either way I am me ...

-sk
 
Bullit said:


Yeah.
You (sk*) are, if you are being honest, in with about 0.026% of the population.
Click to expand...

Well, actually I've met other guys like me ... at least that is what they claimed. So maybe they were in the 0.026% of the population too. :)

You guys don't get that the answers on elitefitness will be skewed for a simple reason, it is a fitness based board. Believe it or not most of these guys here started working out for girls, their whole purpose was to get bigger so they can get layed, and not only this but most of them were hurt by a female and therefore turned to fitness. So yes, if you look here, the majority of guys will lust over every walking female.

-sk
 
Maybe someone should make a poll to get a better idea? I know when I see a hot chick, fuckin is the first thing that comes to my mind
 
biteme said:


It wouldn't bother me if she let me know that she found another guy attractive because I can deal with reality, others cannot.
Click to expand...

No, not attractive, LUST over another guy?

There is a big difference.

You know, when you will suddenly look into her eyes and notice how her eyes are at this one single guy and they are glowing. You know what I mean, you see it everyday with guys. Would you like it if you saw your wife do this?

-sk
 
sk* said:


How come you are avoiding the question? Would you feel ok if your wife looked at other guys with lust?

You can call me insecure or not, either way I am me ...

-sk
Click to expand...

It wouldn't bother me if she let me know that she found another guy attractive because I can deal with reality, others cannot.
 
Stangfriik said:
Maybe someone should make a poll to get a better idea? I know when I see a hot chick, fuckin is the first thing that comes to my mind
Click to expand...

Like I said, the votes on this board would be skewed as opposed to votes with society. It is already obvious that most guys don't see it the way I do, at least on this board.

-sk
 
My wife was pissed the other day becasue she saw me look at another girl who walked past and she asked so I said she was fucking awesome. Well she was. Probably the finest piece of ass i've seen all year. I like to look at a nice piece of ass but that doens't mean i am going to fuck her if she wants it. Can't a guy just appreciate a beautiful woman?
 
sk* said:


No, not attractive, LUST over another guy?

There is a big difference.

You know, when you will suddenly look into her eyes and notice how her eyes are at this one single guy and they are glowing. You know what I mean, you see it everyday with guys. Would you like it if you saw your wife do this?

-sk
Click to expand...

No, I wouldn't like that. Like I said earlier, it's the manner in which you go about it. Having respect for your mate, means not drooling on yourself over someone else in front of your mate. You are definitely abnormal if you all of the sudden stop looking at women just because you are in a relationship. I find that very hard to believe. BTW are you related to Jimmy Swaggart?
 
biteme said:


No, I wouldn't like that. Like I said earlier, it's the manner in which you go about it. Having respect for your mate, means not drooling on yourself over someone else in front of your mate. You are definitely abnormal if you all of the sudden stop looking at women just because you are in a relationship. I find that very hard to believe. BTW are you related to Jimmy Swaggart?
Click to expand...

There, you said exactly what I have been saying, YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT ... now why should the females like it???

Why would you guys call flexy insecure because she posted a thread like this??? It was obvious from her thread that her husband was lusting over another girl not saying she was attractive.

So case closed. This is done with and now you agree with me, RIGHT?

I stop looking at other girls in a serious relationship because once I love them, it means I LOVE THEM. To me love is defined by true and perfect love, not love her and think about boning someone else on the side.

And no, I don't know who Jimmy Swaggart is.

-sk
 
sk* said:


There, you said exactly what I have been saying, YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT ... now why should the females like it???

Why would you guys call flexy insecure because she posted a thread like this??? It was obvious from her thread that her husband was lusting over another girl not saying she was attractive.

So case closed. This is done with and now you agree with me, RIGHT?

I stop looking at other girls in a serious relationship because once I love them, it means I LOVE THEM. To me love is defined by true and perfect love, not love her and think about boning someone else on the side.

And no, I don't know who Jimmy Swaggart is.

Case is definitely not closed, but I don't have all day to argue with you and I don't enjoy arguing.

-sk
Click to expand...
 
biteme said:
Case is definitely not closed, but I don't have all day to argue with you and I don't enjoy arguing.
Click to expand...

Well, I don't see your point then since you said you wouldn't like your wife lusting over another man. Are you saying it is okay for you to lust, but not for your wife? Because this is called hypocricy, or perhaps you are saying that you don't lust but just look at them and perhaps call them attractive?

There are many gorgeous girls on this planet, I'll tell you that too, but I don't think this is what the thread was about.

Your arguments are not too sound my friend, maybe time for a reality check. :)

-sk
 
sk* said:


Well, I don't see your point then since you said you wouldn't like your wife lusting over another man. Are you saying it is okay for you to lust, but not for your wife? Because this is called hypocricy, or perhaps you are saying that you don't lust but just look at them and perhaps call them attractive?

There are many gorgeous girls on this planet, I'll tell you that too, but I don't think this is what the thread was about.

-sk
Click to expand...

I will leave it at this. You are impossible. I already said that it wouldn't bother me if my wife lusted over other men as long as she kept it to herself. It's human nature to have fantasies about sex, being married is not going to change that. There are some that probably do not lust over other people when they are married or in a relationship, I commend them. I still think it's not normal, but whatever. I already told you that I never had sex with another woman when I was married, but I sure did lust.

For you to tell this young lady that her husband is going to cheat on her because he lusts at other women, is highly irresponsible. I'm done arguing with you on this subject.
 
sk* said:


There, you said exactly what I have been saying, YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT ... now why should the females like it???

Why would you guys call flexy insecure because she posted a thread like this??? It was obvious from her thread that her husband was lusting over another girl not saying she was attractive.

So case closed. This is done with and now you agree with me, RIGHT?

I stop looking at other girls in a serious relationship because once I love them, it means I LOVE THEM. To me love is defined by true and perfect love, not love her and think about boning someone else on the side.

And no, I don't know who Jimmy Swaggart is.

-sk
Click to expand...


I still don't see the harm in two guys talking about a girl. Did she hear what they said? Who knows that they said. It's not like they came out and said damn I wanna fuck that ass. They were fucking giggling. Big fucking deal. If you truly have trust and security in your relationship, this kind of stuff shouldn't bother you.
 
biteme said:


I will leave it at this. You are impossible. I already said that it wouldn't bother me if my wife lusted over other men as long as she kept it to herself. It's human nature to have fantasies about sex, being married is not going to change that. There are some that probably do not lust over other people when they are married or in a relationship, I commend them. I still think it's not normal, but whatever. I already told you that I never had sex with another woman when I was married, but I sure did lust.

For you to tell this young lady that her husband is going to cheat on her because he lusts at other women, is highly irresponsible. I'm done arguing with you on this subject.
Click to expand...

Your words were "No, I wouldn't like that" NOT "it wouldn't bother me if my wife lusted over other men as long as she kept it to herself." It is your life though, and if you trully believe it is ok than it is ok. :)

Let me correct myself, I didn't mean that her husband will most definetely cheat on her, but highly probable based on what she said about him. Hopefully I am wrong. One thing for sure, there are no cut and dry answers.

-sk
 
Stangfriik said:



I still don't see the harm in two guys talking about a girl. Did she hear what they said? Who knows that they said. It's not like they came out and said damn I wanna fuck that ass. They were fucking giggling. Big fucking deal. If you truly have trust and security in your relationship, this kind of stuff shouldn't bother you.
Click to expand...

Maybe I misunderstood, but the impression I got was "I'd love to bend that ass" not something innocent like "she was a pretty girl."

Quoting flexy:

"He said, 'yeah for one second, I think to myself, man what would I do with that, than reality sets in and I realize I'm married.'

Again, maybe I misunderstood, but it's highly inprobable.

-sk
 
Yea I didn't see that part. She kept prodding his ass so he finally told her what he thought. Big deal. Hell last night my previous neighbor came over to hang out. She and my fiance were talking about some model guy that was on tv. It never bothered b/c it's just talk. I can't believe that some people think words always equates to action. Again if you were secure enough about the relationship, you would understand that this isn't the case.

An end all solution though would be that Flexy becomes bi and they have 3somes. That's what we do:p
 
Last edited:
Stangfriik said:
Yea I didn't see that part. She kept prodding his ass so he finally told her what he thought. Big deal. Hell last night my previous neighbor came over to hang out. He and my fiance were talking about some model guy that was on tv. It never bothered b/c it's just talk. I can't believe that some people think words always equates to action. Again if you were secure enough about the relationship, you would understand that this isn't the case.

An end all solution though would be that Flexy becomes bi and they have 3somes. That's what we do:p
Click to expand...

Dude, there is a big difference. My girlfriend thinks edward norton is good looking (don't know why, but she does), but she doesn't say "I wanna have his cock in me."

Discussing about some model is allright IMO, but it wouldn't be so cool if she said she wanted to fuck him, would it? Or look at him like she wanted to fuck him?

JMO

-sk
 
Sorry I was in a rush and should have specified. They were talking about "what they could do to him". It just doesn't bother me b/c I too fantasize about other people. I just don't see a problem in it
 
flexygrl said:
Do you always feel that you want to sleep with another women?

While on Vacation my husband and I had a pretty nasty fight. The cause was a couple comments he made:

1) At the resort a lot of women were walking around in bathing suits. I said something about it and he replied, " yeah, I know, this damn place..."

My vibe off this was that he was sexually frustrated cause he could only look.

2) We went with another couple. During lunch I glanced over at my husband and noticed him laughing through his drinking glass, looking at his friend. They were giggling over a girl who had her short, shorts on that showed most of her ass.

I let this go, didn't make too big a deal of it.

3) At dinner, we got on the subject of that girl again. And he basically said that the girls didn't have much to look at, but that 3/4's of the women on the resort were hot. My reply to this was that unlike him, when I am with someone, no one else even compares to him. If I saw good looking man, I could appreciate his physique, maybe his face, but I wouldn't lust after that person.

This really pissed me off. And it also hurt me and embarrased me. I felt really disrepected and very unsure about our relationship.

My question is, do all men do this? Do all men look and lust after women who are not their wives?

My point for asking is, although I don't have the best body in the world(working on it) I'm only 25. I'm too young to feel like a 40 year old woman, who's been married for 10 years. I really feel that by not having my husbands "full" attention that I am missing out on something in my life.

Am I silly to think that there could be someone better out there for me, or are all men like this.

Also, I've only been with 2 men in my life so I don't have much to compare to. Thanks in advance.
Click to expand...

You are being insecure and incredibly stupid regarding this. ALSO, you are placing the blame on him, when your head isn't necessarily on straight.

I'll go piece by piece.

"The cause was a couple comments he made"

No. The cause is a combination of his comments and the way YOU took them. Not just his comments. His comments and your way of twisting them in your head to mean more than they did.



"1) At the resort a lot of women were walking around in bathing suits. I said something about it and he replied, " yeah, I know, this damn place..."

My vibe off this was that he was sexually frustrated cause he could only look."

Nothing in your vibe, going by what he said, indicates that you should ever pay any attention to your intuition again. It's a fucking resort. Pretty people are visually appealing, even if you don't want to have sex with them.

He's not sexually frustrated if you're taking care of that end.




"2) We went with another couple. During lunch I glanced over at my husband and noticed him laughing through his drinking glass, looking at his friend. They were giggling over a girl who had her short, shorts on that showed most of her ass.

I let this go, didn't make too big a deal of it."

It's good that you let this go, as it means nothing. You listed it, though, so that means you think it means something. It doesn't. It means no-fuckin'-thing. I guess you were interested in having a fight, as these are not fuel for one.




"3) At dinner, we got on the subject of that girl again. And he basically said that the girls didn't have much to look at, but that 3/4's of the women on the resort were hot. My reply to this was that unlike him, when I am with someone, no one else even compares to him. If I saw good looking man, I could appreciate his physique, maybe his face, but I wouldn't lust after that person.

This really pissed me off. And it also hurt me and embarrased me. I felt really disrepected and very unsure about our relationship."

You need medication. He gave you an objective observation on the physical conditions of women at the place. He didn't lust after them, from what he said. You put that word in there to twist shit around. It pisses you off because your insecurity had your mind ruminating over the notion that maybe -just maybe- yours was not the prettiest body there. Boo hoo. You hurt yourself. You embarassed yourself. He didn't disrespect you, but you are disrespecting him by twisting the chain of events in your revisionist account in an attempt to apply a mental salve to the ego your own insecurities laid wound to.

Important note: If THIS makes you "very unsure" about your relationship, you're in need of therapy. This is meaningless.




"My question is, do all men do this? Do all men look and lust after women who are not their wives?"

My question is- are all females dillusional? Do all females take account of a situation and, perhaps due to some manner of chemical imbalance of retarded upbringing, twist the truth so that they can start a fight over nothing?

All people look at people, unless they're blind. Not all people lust after others. He didn't lust after anyone. You keep saying he did. You're full of shit.




"My point for asking is, although I don't have the best body in the world(working on it) I'm only 25. I'm too young to feel like a 40 year old woman, who's been married for 10 years. I really feel that by not having my husbands "full" attention that I am missing out on something in my life."

This is an admission of your insecurity, and also that perhaps you should have thought a bit more before entering into marriage. What's done is done, though. You're married. Get your head together and knock off the bullshit.




"Am I silly to think that there could be someone better out there for me, or are all men like this."

That's a fucked up thing to think or say. The grass is not greener on the other side.



You need to work through these problems of yours, and stop laying all the blame at your husband's feet. He MAY have been insensitive to a SLIGHT degree, but you blew it all up over nothing.











I'll take mountains of out of molehills for $800, Alex.
 
sk* said:


Hate to tell you this, but he is cheating on you or will cheat on you. You probably won't wanna accept it, but it's the sad truth.

If you look like you wanna fuck them, sooner or later you will get the opportunity and eventually act on it.

I know if my gf kept looking at other guys, she would mean nothing more to me than a sex object, as I wouldn't be able to respect her ... and if I actually cared for her than I would dump her and move on. That's just me though.

-sk
Click to expand...

Shut up, you dumb fuck.
 
Like I care about karma?

While you're at it, fondle these nuts. Thanks.
 
He's your husband, he married you so I would guess he loves you.

It might be hard to deal with that there are better looking people out there. I'm sure he knows that there are better looking guys out there than him and if you saw a hot guy he wouldn't get all bothered by it. That might also not be the case.

All in all is that if you keep your man satisfied he'll only want you. These other woman are just eye candy for him.

I've seen very few woman outside around that came close in looks to my ex, but I would still check out other woman. I would have never cheated with any of them but it's just a guy thing to check out girls I guess. I would have never blatenly checked out anther woman when my girl was right next to me though. Even if I wanted too look, she would have seen the girl first and would be looking at my eyes waiting to see if I looked.

But in the end when you guys are alone I highly doubt he is thinking of anyone else but you.

While I looked at other girls....my girlfriend was the only girl I wanted to have sex with, and she could turn me on more than any girl I looked at out in the street.
 
flexy, even though i don't know you at all i would say you overreacted a little bit. thats what guys do, they get together and talk about who they wanna bang besides the gurl they're with.
pretty much every guy wants what he can't have, and doesn't appreciate what he does have
sad but true
i would just try and be a little more understanding next time
 
I look but try not to let her notice,she is touchy about it,but I think its healthy to look and know she does even when she denies it,which pisses me off to no end
 
sk* said:
When I am with my girlfriend, I am in heaven. She is the most beautiful girl in my eyes, and I am not even remotely attracted to others.

We went to 6flags a couple days ago, and after the trip was over she mentioned that she saw me looking at one girl and that it had hurt her and she felt sort of jelous. This hurt me so fucking much, and I even told her there is more of a chance I was looking at the mascular guy behind that girl than the girl herself. (NO I AM NOT GAY)

Don't think most guys are like this, but when I am with her I AM WITH HER.

When I am talking to friends, if one of them comments on how hot this or that girl is yes I will respond. I'll say they are pretty or hot or whatever, but I will just be judging them from an outside prespective ... I still have absolutely no desire to "bang" them or anything of the sort.

For all the guys that think this isn't a big deal, how many of you would you appreciate your girl looking at every passing guy with lust? Nuff said.

-sk
Click to expand...

I'm the same way. I know this can vary a little person to person but i think it is safe to say that if someone is overtly checking out others than he/she is only staying in the relationship because they don't know what else to do.
 
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Sorry about the insults, Flexygrl. I dislike the blame game.
 
Imakarum_Mirabilis,

No problem....


You were like a slap of reality. I did over-react. He is a good man. I'm the one with the issues,not the other way around. He was being a guy and enjoying his friend, and the "scenery".

I honestly feel that a year from now, when I finally get to where I want to be, that I will be secure in myself to not overeact.
 
sk* said:
When I am with my girlfriend, I am in heaven. She is the most beautiful girl in my eyes, and I am not even remotely attracted to others.

Don't think most guys are like this, but when I am with her I AM WITH HER.
Click to expand...

Same here...
 
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Reactions: sk*
Men will look. Period. Accept it and be the best "you" that you can be, a "you" you're proud of, so that it ceases to affect your self-esteem.

You sound like your head's in the right place now. Keep it there.
 
Maybe I'm wierd, but I'd be a bit freaked out if a girl I was dating didn't check out other guys from time to time. That kind of devotion would be a little creepy.
 
1. Yes, he will probably check out other women. Most relationships aren't fairytales where both of you feel exactly the same way about each other and have eyes for noone else.
2. He's being really insensitive about it. Even with point #1 if I ever get caught (or asked for a comment) I'd respect her feelings enough to point out a flaw (trust me there's always a flaw) or say that she's not my type.
 
Re: Psycho Alert

FatStoner said:
Personally, i think ur a nutter who over-analyses people, particularly your b/f due to your own insecurities/

get help, you need it.
Click to expand...
Uh hey ass face who the hell are you? We happen to be very fond of Flexy around here. What you said was not only hateful it is un-true. You are a dick.
 
I should add that when --->I<--- look, it's not to size up a woman sexually, but to deconstruct her physical form. I do this with guys, too. It doesn't really involve a personal sexual attraction, and I don't place myself in mental scenarios regarding myself and these women sexually.

I just find forms to be interesting.
 
Island Son said:
1. Yes, he will probably check out other women. Most relationships aren't fairytales where both of you feel exactly the same way about each other and have eyes for noone else.
Click to expand...

This is can be very frustrating. With many long term relatioinships one person is truly in love and the other is just confused.

Island Son said:
2. He's being really insensitive about it. Even with point #1 if I ever get caught (or asked for a comment) I'd respect her feelings enough to point out a flaw (trust me there's always a flaw) or say that she's not my type.
Click to expand...

There is such thing as people, even guys who are totaly divoted and sincerly have no real intrest in looking when they are happy with their partner. But the chances of finding someone like that is very low. And even if you did find someone like that chances are you would not feel the same way about him.

In short you can not realisticly expect your boy friend to always ignore other women but you can expect him not to be an ass about it like he is.

In your place i would dump the bastard.
 
I always check out girls. If I just finish schlonging a supermodel and another hot lady walks by, chances are I will check her out as well. It doesnt stop. Its a natural occurance. Its embedded in our brains. Women cant give a point of view on the subject as it is clearly different for them.
 
I think it really depends on your upbringing and how well you can suppress or how much you can be blind to natural urges. But hey, I may be loyal but I'm fucking obsessive when it comes to girls. Everyone has their problems or shortfalls.
 
Fuckin morons arguing on the net. Never could understand how someone could get so pissed off at another they don't know and can't see.
 
Uh hey ass face who the hell are you? We happen to be very fond of Flexy around here. What you said was not only hateful it is un-true. You are a dick.
Click to expand...


Scarlett,

I wanted to give you Karma, but I have to spread it around. You are very, very sweet! Thanks for defending me.


Lumberg,

Shut up, BK!:D
 
Bullit said:


LOL
You have NO idea what men think.

Don't disagree with the men on this board when we are telling you what MEN think.

All men see a hotty and think 'I'd love to see that on all fours in front of me doin' her doggy'.
Dont kid yourself.
Click to expand...

Yeah, basically. I think the difference though between a good man-friend and a bad one is that while they both fantasize, the good one knows he'd never act on it. Some people just aren't cheaters. Nobody can do anything about biology though.
 
lol@at your 40 year old woman comment, Flexygirl! Guess it all depends on the 40 year old, huh?

Dear God..Don't ever ask him who he's thinking about when he's doin ya sometime...You want to file for divorce if he's got the ball's to answer honest! ( Don't think THIS does not happen either cuz you'd be kidding yourself) Hey..we all need some visual spice once in awhile. Guess it all depends on how secure and mature you are to handle it though!

Men are visual creature's. Plain and simple. Give them something new to look/think about and they are all eye's and penis.

He loves ya...He just likes to look.... No big deal!
 
flexygrl said:
Do you always feel that you want to sleep with another women?

While on Vacation my husband and I had a pretty nasty fight. The cause was a couple comments he made:

1) At the resort a lot of women were walking around in bathing suits. I said something about it and he replied, " yeah, I know, this damn place..."

My vibe off this was that he was sexually frustrated cause he could only look.

2) We went with another couple. During lunch I glanced over at my husband and noticed him laughing through his drinking glass, looking at his friend. They were giggling over a girl who had her short, shorts on that showed most of her ass.

I let this go, didn't make too big a deal of it.

3) At dinner, we got on the subject of that girl again. And he basically said that the girls didn't have much to look at, but that 3/4's of the women on the resort were hot. My reply to this was that unlike him, when I am with someone, no one else even compares to him. If I saw good looking man, I could appreciate his physique, maybe his face, but I wouldn't lust after that person.

This really pissed me off. And it also hurt me and embarrased me. I felt really disrepected and very unsure about our relationship.

My question is, do all men do this? Do all men look and lust after women who are not their wives?

My point for asking is, although I don't have the best body in the world(working on it) I'm only 25. I'm too young to feel like a 40 year old woman, who's been married for 10 years. I really feel that by not having my husbands "full" attention that I am missing out on something in my life.

Am I silly to think that there could be someone better out there for me, or are all men like this.

Also, I've only been with 2 men in my life so I don't have much to compare to. Thanks in advance.
Click to expand...

listen, don't sweat it. pretty much all guys are like that. guys are visual, they like to look. however most of the time they won't act on it. your husband is a bonehead for being so obvious though. if you trust him then you have nothing to fear.
 
I think you need to protect the one you are with. Plain and simple, staring at/making sexual comments about another in the presence of your SO is disrespectful. Everybody slips once in awhile, but if it's a continuous thing then it needs to be addressed.

My wife notices more beautiful girls when we're out than I do.
 
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LOL

anyone insecure enough to put enough thought and worry into it to write a fucking post about it is already doooooomed.

I hate to say it... if you dont trust your husband enough to not have to think about it, then there is something wrong.

I hate to say it but I feel sorry for your husband. I cant imagine living life having to walk on eggshells, worrying that I would be scrutinized for every hot chick that walks by that I glance at. That would be a living hell.
 
Re: LOL

Milo Hobgoblin said:
anyone insecure enough to put enough thought and worry into it to write a fucking post about it is already doooooomed.

I hate to say it... if you dont trust your husband enough to not have to think about it, then there is something wrong.

I hate to say it but I feel sorry for your husband. I cant imagine living life having to walk on eggshells, worrying that I would be scrutinized for every hot chick that walks by that I glance at. That would be a living hell.
Click to expand...
Dude , with all respect few people could cope or would wish to have a relationship such as yours where you share partners. You're point of view is a lot more extreme than flexy's.
 
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