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I am going to fight Ashlee Simpson

supersizeme

supersizeme

New member
I see no other solution to the problem at hand. America needs some sort of closure to what happened last Saturday night on national tv, and I feel it's my duty to step up and serve her(hopefully).

Details to come soon, but what I can tell you right now is that it will be a bare-knuckle match in an octagon of Ashley's choice. It might even be your own neighborhood octagon, but I wouldn't bet on it. Kimbo Slice will be the referee to make sure we abide by UFC rules, and commentary for the PayPerView broadcast will be provided by Andre Agassi and an angry gorilla.

Obviously the Ashlee vs. ssme fight will be the main event, but in order to fully justify the $40 PPV cost, we will have a couple exhibition bouts as well as a bench contest between Andre and the gorilla. The first exhibition bout will feature BBF battling hairloss, while the second one will be a no holds barred, all-out slapping contest between alien amp pharm and fyxgel.
 
Throw in Lestat vs. Oak01 in some sort of a girly contest like Wreath making, and I am in...
 
Make sure she doesn't use that gay "ho-dance" moves on you. I heard that's her ace and many a combatants have gone to early graves when she busted out those gumby legs of hers.

Be careful bro.
 
supersizeme said:
I see no other solution to the problem at hand. America needs some sort of closure to what happened last Saturday night on national tv, and I feel it's my duty to step up and serve her(hopefully).

Details to come soon, but what I can tell you right now is that it will be a bare-knuckle match in an octagon of Ashley's choice. It might even be your own neighborhood octagon, but I wouldn't bet on it. Kimbo Slice will be the referee to make sure we abide by UFC rules, and commentary for the PayPerView broadcast will be provided by Andre Agassi and an angry gorilla.

Obviously the Ashlee vs. ssme fight will be the main event, but in order to fully justify the $40 PPV cost, we will have a couple exhibition bouts as well as a bench contest between Andre and the gorilla. The first exhibition bout will feature BBF battling hairloss, while the second one will be a no holds barred, all-out slapping contest between alien amp pharm and fyxgel.
Click to expand...

I hope she kicks your fucking ass so badly, it will take dental records to figure out who you were.

If not, I hope your prostate enlarges and your body bursts like a scene from Scanners.
 
After ssme wins I will dissect her and send me her head. I will take the decapitated head with me everywhere I go singing "Pieces of Me".
 
The Nature Boy said:
After ssme wins I will dissect her and send me her head. I will take the decapitated head with me everywhere I go singing "Pieces of Me".
Click to expand...

Booooooooooooooooooo!!!

Bring back the Sleestack.
 
If she gives you any trouble, tag me brolex and I'll come at her from the top turnbuckle like there's no tomorrow. Then jig on her face.
 
dude, think you can step to her teenage shit?

have you seen her fight moves bro? what most of the clueless n00bs of the world seem to dismiss as nothing but a silly "irish jig", like the one she did on SNL, is actually a super special (like AABA combo in some old sega title) warmup for a secret form of capoeira. it's called maca rena.

and she's a pink belt motherfucker. best balee dat.

she'll wreck you and your w33k deadlift bar loaded with 335.

btw, she can do rack deads off the lowest setting (just above her pretty little knees, in this case) with 450. her power cage at home is hardcore, covered with cute little bowties too. i've seen it.

so plan the pay-per-view extravaganza for another time. you ain't ready, butterscotch bandit.
 
btw, i would just like to add:

when i wrote that post, i just assumed there was a pay per view aspect to the whole thing. i didn't even finish reading SSME's post until after.

lol.
 
Be careful bro ... odds are her sister will be ringside and may flash her "God given talent" your direction as a distraction. While you're drooling Ashlee will maul you over the head with a guitar!
 
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