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smallmovesal
New member
And a one, and a two, and a three. Just warming up for my letter. Gotcha! I'm just kidding. But that's me, a kidder. Might as well get that out of the way up front!
As if you didn't know, I'd like to take this opportunity to apply for your open aerobics instructor position. I'm fit as a fiddle, I love dancing and jumping up and down, plus I'm a leader. Excuse my saying so, but I've practically got aerobics instructor stamped on my forehead!
One thing I'd also like to point out up front, is that I'm a man. I don't think that's a problem, but I just wanted to tell you so you know I don't have anything to hide. I'd hate to show up for my interview, and have you notice the penis in my leotards when you weren't expecting it! It's happened before.
To anyone who says that a man can't be an aerobics instructor, I just say, "Well, I guess you haven't seen John Travolta in 'Perfect,' then have you? I didn't think so." I know my manhood won't be a problem though, because I don't like girls, so I won't bother any of them. If you must know, I like men. In fact, I haven't done it yet, but I want to hug and kiss one! Know anyone?!
The idea of putting on leg warmers, bandana, and leotards while I prance around to the strains of "It's Raining Men" is enough to make me want to explode! I'd run all over the floor, exhorting the girls to keep up with me. I'm a maniac, a maniac, on the floor! (Don't you just love Jennifer Beals?) Which reminds me, I'm going to need an assistant, so I have someone to pour a bucket of water over me while I do my famous "chair" routine.
I also would keep my routines very seasonal. During spring, I would start screaming, "Spring into spring, girls," but around the holidays, I'd switch to "Santa's coming, girls!" And I would keep doing that all year. I would like to keep it fresh for my girls. And I'd say, "You can do it" even to the big fat ones.
The biggest, fattest girls in my class are the one that are going to shape up if I have anything to do with it. "Put down those cupcakes, girls," I'll yell. "And pick up those feet." I have a lot of cute little sayings that I would like to scream at a roomful of overweight women. Want to hear some? Here's one, "Honey, if you don't pick up those feet, your big old butt is going to need its own area code!" It's mean, I know, but the girls would know that I only do it out of love. It's tough love, but it's love just the same. They'll know that when they're not so fat anymore, that we'll all sit around and say "Remember when?" and then we'll just hug and cry and cry some more. I get told all the time, that I'm just like Richard Simmons. I love Richard Simmons. He cries all the time - just like me!
Do I sound like the kind of person you would like to have front and center at your workout facility? If so, call me. I've got to go now. Mother Nature's calling!
Sincerely,
nicolepap
As if you didn't know, I'd like to take this opportunity to apply for your open aerobics instructor position. I'm fit as a fiddle, I love dancing and jumping up and down, plus I'm a leader. Excuse my saying so, but I've practically got aerobics instructor stamped on my forehead!
One thing I'd also like to point out up front, is that I'm a man. I don't think that's a problem, but I just wanted to tell you so you know I don't have anything to hide. I'd hate to show up for my interview, and have you notice the penis in my leotards when you weren't expecting it! It's happened before.
To anyone who says that a man can't be an aerobics instructor, I just say, "Well, I guess you haven't seen John Travolta in 'Perfect,' then have you? I didn't think so." I know my manhood won't be a problem though, because I don't like girls, so I won't bother any of them. If you must know, I like men. In fact, I haven't done it yet, but I want to hug and kiss one! Know anyone?!
The idea of putting on leg warmers, bandana, and leotards while I prance around to the strains of "It's Raining Men" is enough to make me want to explode! I'd run all over the floor, exhorting the girls to keep up with me. I'm a maniac, a maniac, on the floor! (Don't you just love Jennifer Beals?) Which reminds me, I'm going to need an assistant, so I have someone to pour a bucket of water over me while I do my famous "chair" routine.
I also would keep my routines very seasonal. During spring, I would start screaming, "Spring into spring, girls," but around the holidays, I'd switch to "Santa's coming, girls!" And I would keep doing that all year. I would like to keep it fresh for my girls. And I'd say, "You can do it" even to the big fat ones.
The biggest, fattest girls in my class are the one that are going to shape up if I have anything to do with it. "Put down those cupcakes, girls," I'll yell. "And pick up those feet." I have a lot of cute little sayings that I would like to scream at a roomful of overweight women. Want to hear some? Here's one, "Honey, if you don't pick up those feet, your big old butt is going to need its own area code!" It's mean, I know, but the girls would know that I only do it out of love. It's tough love, but it's love just the same. They'll know that when they're not so fat anymore, that we'll all sit around and say "Remember when?" and then we'll just hug and cry and cry some more. I get told all the time, that I'm just like Richard Simmons. I love Richard Simmons. He cries all the time - just like me!
Do I sound like the kind of person you would like to have front and center at your workout facility? If so, call me. I've got to go now. Mother Nature's calling!
Sincerely,
nicolepap
or 
