Help with English Paper Needed

[mattcanning99]

Winter Term Writing Assignment

Write a paper of approximately three to four typewritten pages (750 - 1000 words):

Creative Assignment

Write a satire imitating Swift's device of travel to a remote place in Gulliver's Travels. For your subject, choose any aspect of Lakehead University campus life. For example, regulations such as examinations, the grading system, fees, forms, degree requirements, etc; registration; professors; the social scene; residence life; sports; student government. These are just a few possibilities; there may be others you prefer to choose.

Invent a narrator who speaks in the first - person but who is not yourself, and try to make this narrator the target of your satire, the way Swift does with Gulliver in Book Four. Keep the target of your satire constantly in focus. Your satire should have a definite structure and be as detailed as possible. Use your imagination to invent any details that will help you: setting, characters, place names, physical description, actions. Remember that satire is more than just sarcasm or invective.

Satires will be evaluated on the basis of both content and expression. Content means an attempt to describe an imaginary place and to tell a story that satirizes an aspect of campus life. Expression means the overall correctness and coherence of your writing.

Due Date: Friday, Mach 1st, 2002

thanks

matt

ps: will award karma for help

 

[HappyScrappy]

yeah, I'll get right on that

 

[Warik]

So what's the problem?

An easy "A" isn't good enough for you? You want someone to write the paper for you?

satire - "trenchant wit, irony, or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly"

Make fun of degree requirements or registration. Shit, use me as an example.

"Warik awoke from his deep slumber as he normally would, completely oblivious to the fact that his surroundings, although identical to how they were prior to his sleep, have changed drastically. He navigated his web browser to his University's registration site to enjoy the privilege of priority registration due to his degree year, requirements remaining, and above average GPA. What great shock struck him when he realized that his registration had suddenly changed to the last date at the final hour in order to make room for the failing seniors and incoming freshmen! Additionally, he saw a multitude of irrelevant classes occupying his requirements form. 'Introductory Genetics for a Computer Science major?' he asked himself, 'What? Do they want me to breed computers?'"

125 words. Your shit is practically done. Get to it. Make sure to include humor about the professors who somehow know everything, yet teach instead of apply their alleged skills in the real world. "Hi, I'm professor so and so and I've been in the computer field for over 30 years!" Wow... good fucking job professor so-and-so. Does that impress me? No... that tells me 2 things:

1) You sucked so bad in the professional world that you had to resort to teaching.
and
2) You suck period because you haven't retired yet after 30 years in the computer field!!!

-Warik

 

[satanic goatslayer]

Useless piece of shit.

3-4 double spaced pages. Oh no. Do it yourself.

 

[Warik]

Useless piece of shit.

3-4 double spaced pages. Oh no. Do it yourself.

Satanic Goatslayer - The Master of Euphemisms

lol

 

[Bodhidogma]

Useless piece of shit.

3-4 double spaced pages. Oh no. Do it yourself.

 

[chillin408]

Essay assignments terribly intimidate me. Last semester, I would spend hours just thinking of a topic and then even more time for thinking through each paragraph. The end result would still be a totally unorganized paper that should have only taken anyone else probably no more than 30 minutes to finish. I vouch the above A+ paragraph written by Warik took no more than 2 minutes? How do you do it man?

 

[Enrico]

Hmm...Interesting assignment. I'd go after Financial Aid, the department everyone loves to hate.

...As I shyly approached the desk the rotund beast quickly devoured another brownie. I couldn't help but wonder if I was next. Loudly she informed me that my scholarship had "not yet been processed" and that my credit hours were still pending. I half-listened and watched as brownie crumbs fell from her mouth as she spoke...

You know, just take it from there! Easy "A"

Good luck man

 

[mattcanning99]

you guys are geniuses...im gonna steal this stuff, and then i'll have to delete this thread after march 1st in case i get caught. i wouldnt expect my professor to be browsing elite, but you never know, lol

 

[Warik]

I want to see your paper when it's done. Oh, and I give you permission to use my name just as long as nothing happens to me that would require some kind of human fallacy to take place. Great things only plz. =)

 

[mattcanning99]

I want to see your paper when it's done. Oh, and I give you permission to use my name just as long as nothing happens to me that would require some kind of human fallacy to take place. Great things only plz. =)

done