Help me yall, need some... :(

[Revenant]

I just had the weirdest shit happen to me. I don't know what to think here.

This girl I had been dating, you know... I fell real hard for her. Thing is, she kicked my ass to the curb and went off to college. I still remember the last thing she said, which was, "Have a nice life.", practically choking back tears, and trying not to show it... though, it was her decision.

She's been gone for about 6 months. Well, 6 months I have not spoken or seen her anyway. Last night, I hate to admit... I had a dream that she'd come back, we had talked... and gotten things straightened out.

Well, I just heard today she's back. I had no idea she was coming back...........

I am going to see her tomorrow at church.

This is disturbing, and depressing both. What do I do? Dodge, or just play it cool?

 

[THE STEEL BEAST]

1. STOP BELIEVING IN FIRE BREATHING CREATURES...


2...... WELL YOUR RELATIONSHIP ENDED BECAUSE SHE WENT OFF?

IS SHE BACK FOR THE WEEKEND THEN RETURNING TO SCHOOL?

IS SHE BACK FOR GOOD?

IF SHE IS JUST BACK FOR THE WEEKEND PLAY IT COOL AND WORK YOUR WAY IN FOR A ONE NIGHT STAND GET TOGETHER BECAUSE IT IS CLEAR SHE DIDNT WANT TO CARRY ON A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP.


IF SHE IS BACK FOR GOOD,YOU MAY WANT TO PLAY A MORE RELAXED APPROACH BECAUSE IT SEEMS YOU WANT AN EXTENDED RELATIONSHIP.....DONT RUSH IN WITH GUNS BLAZING JUST YET.IT MAY BE A WASTE OF AMMO.

 

[dballer]

Ignore her... or get really happy when you see her and walk up to her with a really excited look on your face and ask her "When are you leaving?"... then laugh as hard as you can....
just kidding. I would just act like you could care less... that way you keep your pride.

 

[Revenant]

rofl SB... at the dragons.

She's back for a week. Just difficult to push my feelings aside and pretend they don't exist. I wish I could let her know, but I can't do that. Both for my pride, and my heart. She let me go back then, so there is no reason she should want me back now...

Guess I'll be cool, and just hope for the best.

Thanks for the advice.

 

[daised]

be the bigger person, if you happen to run into her (which it sounds like you will) just be civil.

 

[Revenant]

For those that responded... I saw her at church, as I thought.

I was great through the whole service. Head up, and feeling pretty alright about it. It started going downhill when the pastor asked a few students returning from college for the week to stand. I turned to look around, and there she was...

I felt pretty pathetic all over again.

But it passed, I gathered myself. Then after service she chased me down before I left. "Ryan! I just wanted to say hi... how are you?" - I guess I looked like a real prick when I said, "Fine. You?", because her reply was "I'm um... greeat.", and she backed off a bit. My cousin was proud of me being such a jerk to her... but I wasn't. So I turned around and started after her. She stopped, and came back over to me...

So I just said, "Look. I'm not mad about this."

She went rambling on some things. She had heard I skipped out of church for 3 months because I'd rather have let her enjoy those last months home with her friends, than have to deal with the discomfort of having me around. I guess her mother caught on, and told her... Whatever.

I guess she asks about me, and still talks to her mom about me. First time I came to the church in 3 months, her mother was like... "Heard you got a new job?" - Which was so long ago... the last time I talked to her before she left.

Anyway, I don't know. She says to me, "I know this is awkward. It is for me too. But I live a thousand miles away, and come home four times a year."

What in the hell is that supposed to mean? After all the playing off like she didn't give a damn, she has to go say something like that. Maybe it's just me overanalyzing... but it sure sounded like that was the ONLY reason we're not together.

I've been on the verge of vomiting for the past 24 hours. My stomach is in knots, and I'm ready to break down and cry like a little girl. Just wanna tell her that I love her... but I can't.

Worst of all, I'd leave all this and go to Oklahoma if I could be with her.

 

[pauly]

Simple Terms

IT"S OVER. Sorry man but it's true. Even if you got back together it would NEVER be as good as it coulda been Get on with life but don't burn the bridge. It'll take time to heal, but that's what will make you stronger. TRUST ME!

 

[Revenant]

Wonder how long, considering it's been six months already. Never had this problem before.

I know that is so right. But it's hard to accept, because I never had a sign. She always had a smile on her face when we were together. Not a thing wrong in the relationship, according to her... then wham, all the sudden it was done, and I was left standing there with the idea in my head that maybe she was just scared to death of feeling like she did and having to go off to college.

But that's probably me overanalyzing again.

 

[pauly]

yep, she's over it you're not. It took me A LOT longer than 6 mos. to get over a girl, and i do still think of her (6 years later), it's only human. Time will heal but get off your ass and get out there adn do your thing. if you wanna get in depth pm me.

 

[Lord_Suston]

Stop being f*cking weak, she obviously didn't want to go out with you, do you want to get abused????
Do you like to have your heart ripped out???

WTF, get with the program bro just lift, get another girl, and you'll be much happier, shit shit she isn't even staying for more than a week, I think you could avoid her for a week.....

 

[BigGuns2]

Bro, you are grasping at the past. Let her go. You will drive yourself insane with the "what ifs." Just keep lifting so the next time she sees you she will say "You've gotten so much bigger."

 

[Revenant]

Forget I shed a tear about this.

You're right. I am being a baby. I do love her, but shit, there's not a damn thing I can do about it now is there?

I'm reading about this letter sent to the Senator. Well, I'm starting to get the feeling I will be over in the middle east VERY, VERY soon. It's not death I'm afraid of here. It's dying and not saying what needs to be said. I'm going to tell her and walk away, despite whatever is said back.

No more fucking regrets.

So long as I'm on God's team, I CANNOT lose. This alone drives me. Time to pay up, boys.

 

[THE STEEL BEAST]

DOES SHE BELIEVE IN FIRE BREATHING CREATURES TOO?

 

[Revenant]

Yes.

 

[Crazier]

You have nothing to lose by telling her man. Fuck these other guys that call you cry baby and shit... these little bitches would be crying too if they were in the same spot. It's not just as easy as "going to the gym, and picking up other bitches." Trust me, if you love her, the other bitches just won't do it for her like she will.
If you really would move to OK to be with her, then you should come out with your feelings. Don't say right away "I want to move to OK." But, start off with, I love you. It's been six months since you've been away, and I am still in love with you. If the only reason you guys aren't together is because she lives far away, you guys can get to that point after you tell her what you are feeling. Don't just let it slide away man. Fuck it. What do you have to lose by telling her how you feel? Pride? No. You're being more of a pussy if you say nothing. The only thing that will happen is she'll go back to OK, just like she'll do anyhow if you don't tell her. You only have something to lose if you don't tell her. Let us know how it went brother, and good luck to a man in love.
--

 

[Revenant]

She'll know. Thanks for the support. I really appreciate it.

As I said, no more regrets. None.

 

[Honeynut]

What Crazier said is very honorable, but if she left you with "Have a nice life" it doesn't sound like she was all that nice to you. You sound like a nice guy. Is it possible she went off to college with such bitterness between you because she needed freedom? Telling her you want to move to OK won't help your case in that dept. She needs to make the moves. You were very good about telling her you had no bad blood between you. her saying she's home four times a year kinda makes it clear that it would be pretty impossible for you to stay together. I do think you have nothing to lose by telling her you still love her, you never know what that's gonna bring. At the very least, you got it off your chest. You'll never have to ask yourself "what if..."

 

[Revenant]

What Crazier said is very honorable, but if she left you with "Have a nice life" it doesn't sound like she was all that nice to you. You sound like a nice guy. Is it possible she went off to college with such bitterness between you because she needed freedom? Telling her you want to move to OK won't help your case in that dept. She needs to make the moves. You were very good about telling her you had no bad blood between you. her saying she's home four times a year kinda makes it clear that it would be pretty impossible for you to stay together. I do think you have nothing to lose by telling her you still love her, you never know what that's gonna bring. At the very least, you got it off your chest. You'll never have to ask yourself "what if..."

She said to me at church, she was never angry. Just hurt, and frustrated.

The have a nice life was something I keep in the back of my mind. When she said it, I walked away and said nothing. But the fact that she had to choke every bit of that sentence out and cover her face makes me wonder. So, I do not think any bitterness lies. We'll see.

 

[the nature boy]

I'm sure all these guys have said the same thing but once you come to terms that it's over you can move on with your life. Sometimes it takes a while to get over someone, it once took me a year to get over one of my ex girlfriends. That bitch.

 

[Honeynut]

She said to me at church, she was never angry. Just hurt, and frustrated.

The have a nice life was something I keep in the back of my mind. When she said it, I walked away and said nothing. But the fact that she had to choke every bit of that sentence out and cover her face makes me wonder. So, I do not think any bitterness lies. We'll see.

Just follow your heart, be honest with yourself and with her, and you'll never have anything to reproach yourself for. I wish you love.

 

[O'Stanozol]

Remember King of the Hill where Bobby desmontrated his willpower to that 14yo at the restaurant do the same

 

[daised]

i know what it's lilke to feel this way about someone.

 

[Crazier]

Thanks for the input Daised. Truely touching shit there.

j/k!!!
--

 

[K2_Exotech]

this....
is simply a matter of the hearts longing. Endure.
And my friend when the wounds of love's war have given their fruit of victory. The seeds of heartbreak are sure to be sprout again.

Harden your heart to it. Tell her how you "felt", be sure to emphasize felt. What you must realize is that love is a mental thing. Just as everything else is. You must convince your own mind, that you do not love her, and could not love her. And possibly never loved her(if the case calls for a measure that durastic.), your mind will eventually be convinced. Then you will feel so much better. After my first overcome of a heart break I hated girls to a point where I would date them in many numbers at a time and let them find out so they could be hurt. I hated women because of how wrong One did me. The point is not to hate all women, just don't love them until you know it's true. Love doesn't happen in a week, a month, sometimes not even a year. Love happens, just like shit. You just have to learn not to step in it.

 

[kd]

WAKE UP MAN!

She dumped you before going to college because she wanted to be single to meet and fuck other guys!.

If she's being nice to you now its probably because it is not going like the way she planned, meaning, she hasn't got her nails dug into too many guys. She still wants to know that there is a guy who will tell her shes beautiful etc...etc........ (you)

Don't tell her you love her, tell her your falling in love with some other chick.

Then say I hope your life is going well for you.

I don't mean to be hard on you bro, but if you knew she was going a thousand miles away to college, you shoulda maybe expected that you would have sooner or later broken up.

 

[Revenant]

Umm, kd?

She goes to ORU, which is quite a strict Christian academy. Not only that, she's sworn to herself and her parents she's saving it for marriage.

Only thing I said to her Sunday was, "Good luck in everything.", then just sorta left.

I was talking to the pastor today, since I have just been offered a spot as an Adult Youth Leader. She approached him Sunday and said, "Ryan said hi to me." - He then mentioned how I showed up at the church one day, and we had this long conversation of how I needed to get back with God, etc.

He said she asked him. "Did he say anything about me?"

C'mon, what does that mean?

 

[kd]

sorry there rev

did'nt know there was serious religion involved

peace

 

[Revenant]

No worries.

 

[Revenant]

But to answer the question everyone's focusing on...

Yes, I'm going to tell her. How? I'm not sure, but I have until Wednesday when I see her to figure it out. I want to get the point across, but I also want to be as easy as possible with it, since it is a touchy issue.

If she knows my whole heart, and my whole soul... and she can still walk away, then there's nothing left for me to do except move forward with my life. Either way I will push on. I've got some meaning, regardless... as a leader to the Youth of our church. It's an amazing feeling to be admired.

For them I'll stay strong.

 

[HelenSL]

She said to me at church, she was never angry. Just hurt, and frustrated.

Cmon Revenant you gotta talk to her!!!

If she's hurt and confused she thinks you did something and you have no idea what that was...

Hey at least write her a letter if you can't talk to her. See if you can tell her you love her but that you aren't trying to push her into anything by that confession.

Whatever...but boy, you need to talk things out!!! It might not get you back together again but it at least would resolve any misunderstandings, of which there do seem to be some.

I hope you can talk to her so you can find some peace with where things are, even if where they are -- at least for now -- is 'over'.

love
Helen

 

[TheClash]

Don't put yourself in a position to get dissed. Whatever you do, Don't let some chick get between you and your faith. Hold your head high, go to church and keep on movin'. I was on that same boat. Go to the Humane Socitey,and get a really cool mutt. Trust and train the dog. Believe me, A good dog is the only thing in life worth trusting next to god. The Next step is to go out and find girls who seem way out of your leauge. Grow the balls ( I know it's tough} and ask them to lunch. Nothing serious. You will find even the ones with boyfriends will say yes. Become their friends, then knock the bottom out. Trust me, you will rarely get shot down if you just pretend like you have confidence. This works for me all the time now. I'm an ugly SOB. All you have to do is talk to the ones who would otherwise scare you. This advise will put you on a higher level. You will soon forget about this girl at church. TRUST ME.

 

[Revenant]

All of these opinions could spin a dude in 50 different directions, but I know what I feel now, thanks to everything that was laid out here, and talking to pauly.

I have to let her know, and let it all out, regardless of the outcome. Even if she turns me down and says "Get lost!", she hasn't won anything. In fact, she will have given me the shove in the right direction. I've never actually said what I felt, for fear of coming off like a little sissy. Now I come to realize there's nothing to be ashamed of. I loved someone, and I don't regret it... even if she did break me off as easily as she did. There's a number of possibilities it could be - But how will I ever know and get my closure if I'm not up front and honest about every last bit?

I don't want anymore unanswered questions.

If (Which I doubt HIGHLY) she loves me, maybe there is a chance to save both of our hearts. If not, then I have just exhaled every bit of pressure caused by her pent up inside of me, and I will be able to walk away with my head held high, because what I felt was for all the right reasons.

If she lets me go, then there's someone else out there I'm going to make lucky.

No regrets. Live it.

 

[Honeynut]

very commendable. Good luck, you're doing the right thing