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Had a talk tonight with her

confusedmushie

confusedmushie

New member
We finally had a serious talk tonight.

The conclusion is that she's not looking for a commitment as of right now. She wants to be able to date others if she has the chance. I am all for that actually, I just got out of a serious long term relationship and am also exploring all the possible channels out there. My ultimate goal, however, is still to find the right person for the long run. I kinda told her, that OK, I get the idea, I guess I will back off and leave you be. She then replied that she never asked me to back off or to leave her alone. Soo fing lost. But I am so glad that we had this talk. I guess she still wants to see me and go out, not a bad thing. We will see where all this leads too.

Ian
 
At least you know where things are at. It may prove to be a good thing for the relationship you have with her because it will take the pressure off which will allow the both of you to be more relaxed.

Good luck with it.
 
Time to.....
sayan.gif
 
So, she wants to fuck you and hang out with you until something better comes along? And, then be able to fuck somebody else and not feel guilty or have any commitment with you? At least she is honest up front. If you don't want a commitment, great. Free pass to date and fuck whoever. But, if you do want a commitment, she will take a gigantic dump on you further down the line and you won't have anyone to blame but yourself for letting her do it.

confusedmushie said:
We finally had a serious talk tonight.

The conclusion is that she's not looking for a commitment as of right now. She wants to be able to date others if she has the chance. I am all for that actually, I just got out of a serious long term relationship and am also exploring all the possible channels out there. My ultimate goal, however, is still to find the right person for the long run. I kinda told her, that OK, I get the idea, I guess I will back off and leave you be. She then replied that she never asked me to back off or to leave her alone. Soo fing lost. But I am so glad that we had this talk. I guess she still wants to see me and go out, not a bad thing. We will see where all this leads too.

Ian
Click to expand...
 
This is your opportunity to try some really demeaning, hardcore, porn-style sex with her now.


ATM baby!!!
 
We spoke on the phone for almost 2 hours after our 'serious talk' tonight. The conversation was so much better then it was before. Before knowing how she felt, I was really unease becasue I did not know where we stood. After the phone call, we spoke for another hour or so over IM. Don't know, just seems that everything is a lot better now that everything is no longer a guessing game.

Before the talk, she was very reserved on what she'd tell me in regards to me. But both on the phone and also over IM, she made it very clear why she liked me and that I really should not be paranoid.

I think ultimatly what happened was that I was pushing for too much to fast. I think that scared her a little. What's funny was that she brought up the fact that we might be looking for different things out of dating, but in the end, she don't want to let go.

Something like this, I think time will only tell. We will see what happens. I don't mind having her as a good friend with the added perks.

Ian
 
sounds like yer in for some good fun sex broly. good luck with yer relationship though, i hope u get whatever u want out of it.
 
*sigh*


Women.....can't live with em


...can't put em in a sack either.
 
We've been talking for a little over a month, but for the past 2 and a half weeks, we have been around each other just about everyday. There might have been like 2~3 days where we didn't see each other in total. I do't know how everything took it's toll so fast, it was totally not something I planned for. Over all, I like her, she's smart, beautiful, and fun to be around. If we can end up with something, great, if not, I am certain that we will become really good friends.

Ian
 
Cornholio said:
*sigh*


Women.....can't live with em


...can't put em in a sack either.
Click to expand...

Actually, I beg to differ Corn. You can get us in "the sack". Ah, there's just something so nice about different interpretations. ;)
 
Changes everything. I thought this was somebody you had been dating for 3-4 months or longer. My mistake. You are still discovering your relationship and formulating an opinion of the dynamics of it and sizing up the potential. Premature talk of commitment can sometimes be mistaken as insecurities or being a control freak.



confusedmushie said:
We've been talking for a little over a month, but for the past 2 and a half weeks, we have been around each other just about everyday. There might have been like 2~3 days where we didn't see each other in total. I do't know how everything took it's toll so fast, it was totally not something I planned for. Over all, I like her, she's smart, beautiful, and fun to be around. If we can end up with something, great, if not, I am certain that we will become really good friends.

Ian
Click to expand...
 
confusedmushie said:
We finally had a serious talk tonight.

The conclusion is that she's not looking for a commitment as of right now. She wants to be able to date others if she has the chance. I am all for that actually, I just got out of a serious long term relationship and am also exploring all the possible channels out there. My ultimate goal, however, is still to find the right person for the long run. I kinda told her, that OK, I get the idea, I guess I will back off and leave you be. She then replied that she never asked me to back off or to leave her alone. Soo fing lost. But I am so glad that we had this talk. I guess she still wants to see me and go out, not a bad thing. We will see where all this leads too.

Ian
Click to expand...

I will give you some advice that will save you a lot of pain and grief.

Be nice and say goodbye to this girl for at least 6 months. During that time do not conact her. If she contacts you, be nice but be brief and always be too busy to talk to her.

If you play into her game, then you will become that guy she talks to when no one better is around. You deserve better than that.
 
See, my point was not to inquire about the whole 'commitment' issue. I also thought it was way to soon for that sort of a talk. What I wanted to know was whether we were on the same page or not. I am interested in her romatically and I wanted to know if she was also into me in that way. When we are together, I get a sense of feeling that it's pretty much one way. But what i didn't understand was that if indeed it was only me liking her, then what the hell is she doing here for the past 2 weeks. Basically, I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't wasting my time.

Ian
 
Re: Re: Had a talk tonight with her

2Thick said:


I will give you some advice that will save you a lot of pain and grief.

Be nice and say goodbye to this girl for at least 6 months. During that time do not conact her. If she contacts you, be nice but be brief and always be too busy to talk to her.

If you play into her game, then you will become that guy she talks to when no one better is around. You deserve better than that.
Click to expand...

She has some personal issues. When she was talking about dating others, the very first thing that came to mind was that she hasn't dated in over 6 month. She is by NO MEANS ugly, stupid, or anything like that. She's 6'2 (love the tall ones), low 130lbs, toned (a dancer all her life), beautiful long brown hair, and has the nicest ass around.

To me it was a way to escape my question. I think she thought I wanted more then just dating and exploring (I might have given her the impression, not sure), and that's what she used to get out from answering.

When it comes down to it, I think she doesn't really know what she wants. We spoke before and she wants someone, but then she's afraid of being hurt.....don't know, changes from time to time.

We will just see!

Ian
 
2Thick said:


You are wasting your time.

Unless you are willing to be a second-hand cock, then stay away.
Click to expand...

Hmmm, I don't think I am wasting my time really. I don't have high hopes of a long term thing right now. I am also exploring, just as she is.

If all leads into something long term, I'd by no means avoid it, but as of right now, I am having fun going out with her, making out, shit like that. If someone comes along that's better, I'd not give up on the chance.

Tell you guys the truth, once she gets to know me better, she ain't going to let go. I think she already very interested and would like to see something else happen, the more she gets to know me, I think the more 'addicted' she will be.

All I know is that I way into her! She's a ballet dancer and can put one foot all the way up to her head while standing! Tell me that's not a keeper!!!! (she can do a lot more then that)

Ian
 
No, don't run from this chick. Just keep fucking her until something better comes along. Don't invest emotionally, just treat her like your cum dumpster.

confusedmushie said:
See, my point was not to inquire about the whole 'commitment' issue. I also thought it was way to soon for that sort of a talk. What I wanted to know was whether we were on the same page or not. I am interested in her romatically and I wanted to know if she was also into me in that way. When we are together, I get a sense of feeling that it's pretty much one way. But what i didn't understand was that if indeed it was only me liking her, then what the hell is she doing here for the past 2 weeks. Basically, I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't wasting my time.

Ian
Click to expand...
 
Re: Re: Re: Had a talk tonight with her

confusedmushie said:



When it comes down to it, I think she doesn't really know what she wants. We spoke before and she wants someone, but then she's afraid of being hurt.....don't know, changes from time to time.

We will just see!

Ian
Click to expand...

Okay, if you want her, follow these rules:

-Do not call her more than 1-2 times per week.

-When she calls, talk for a max of 2-3 min and then be busy and say goodbye.

-Do not do anything for her that you would not do for a stranger.

-Have your priorities first and then try to fit her into them. Do not change your life for her.

If you follow these rules, she will be begging to be wth you.
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Had a talk tonight with her

2Thick said:


RUN, RUN, RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not kidding. Damaged goods!!
Click to expand...

HAHA

She's not damaged! Far from that. Everyone has issues. With what I know of her right now, I don't mind the little insignificant issues.

Ian
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Had a talk tonight with her

good stuff. worth quoting in this instance

2Thick said:


Okay, if you want her, follow these rules:

-Do not call her more than 1-2 times per week.

-When she calls, talk for a max of 2-3 min and then be busy and say goodbye.

-Do not do anything for her that you would not do for a stranger.

-Have your priorities first and then try to fit her into them. Do not change your life for her.

If you follow these rules, she will be begging to be wth you.
Click to expand...
 
notoriousQQ said:
No, don't run from this chick. Just keep fucking her until something better comes along. Don't invest emotionally, just treat her like your cum dumpster.

Click to expand...

This whole premise of using her for sex....hmmm, have to really think about that. Sex, YES, it is very important! No doubt. But, I am not into using anyone, hurting anyone, and things like that. I am real melow. She's becoming someone I'd like to care about, I have others that I can use for sex. Like my bitch of an ex.

Ian
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Had a talk tonight with her

2Thick said:


Okay, if you want her, follow these rules:

-Do not call her more than 1-2 times per week.

-When she calls, talk for a max of 2-3 min and then be busy and say goodbye.

-Do not do anything for her that you would not do for a stranger.

-Have your priorities first and then try to fit her into them. Do not change your life for her.

If you follow these rules, she will be begging to be wth you.
Click to expand...

I've been meaning to distance myself as you have stated. Tell you the truth, we never really talk on phone. In the past, almost 3 weeks, we have been around each other so much, that there's really no need to talk on the phone. It's just hard to resist at times. She will be going on a road trip next week, for 10 days. I think that will be a good time to see how I really feel. As I said before, I just came out of a long term relationship, and for all I know, I might just like her because I want to fill the emptyness that I have without my ex here. Now, how true that is, I don't know. All I know is that this chick is the shit and I'd do almost anything for her.

Ian
 
I think that is your answer. If you are truly looking for a meaningful relationship, perhaps she is not the one and you should keep looking. If you want someone to share in the beauty of life and be building towards something special, the other person should probably be looking for the same thing. If you aren't in the same place emotionally as she is, why invest the time?

confusedmushie said:


This whole premise of using her for sex....hmmm, have to really think about that. Sex, YES, it is very important! No doubt. But, I am not into using anyone, hurting anyone, and things like that. I am real melow. She's becoming someone I'd like to care about, I have others that I can use for sex. Like my bitch of an ex.

Ian
Click to expand...
 
Good question!

Don't know how to answer that. I kinda stumpped her when we talked. She said she's not looking for a long term thing. Well, I asked her,

"so, what's your point of dating? Just to go out and have fun? So, if someone right comes along, you won't be interested in something long term?"

She bascially replies by saying that if the right person came around, she'd be interested.

I guess that's what I am trying to see, if in fact I am a good candidate. Besides that, knowing what I know now, I will be more reserved with my emotions then I would if I didn't know what was going on. I think as of right now, I am just taking it one day at a time. Since I am having a good time and so is she, I don't see the reason on cutting her off. RIGHT?

Ian


notoriousQQ said:
I think that is your answer. If you are truly looking for a meaningful relationship, perhaps she is not the one and you should keep looking. If you want someone to share in the beauty of life and be building towards something special, the other person should probably be looking for the same thing. If you aren't in the same place emotionally as she is, why invest the time?
Click to expand...
 
PHATchik said:


Actually, I beg to differ Corn. You can get us in "the sack". Ah, there's just something so nice about different interpretations. ;)
Click to expand...


I can???


How??

lol
 
Only you can answer that. If you can continue the relationship without getting emotionally attached, go ahead. If you do start experiencing greater and more intense emotion, what then? Try to talk to her about what you are feeling? Change her? Make things work? If you want to have fun, great. If you want to have a serious relationship, not asking for a commitment, but the opportunity to see what you have together, she should at least be willing to commit to that. IMO



confusedmushie said:
Since I am having a good time and so is she, I don't see the reason on cutting her off. RIGHT?

Ian
Click to expand...
 
Karma to you my friend. I think that's very true. It's really great to visit a forum where there are excellent opinions that I can consider! No about to change her. I would love to have a commited relationship, but at the same time, I also want to have fun. At the present time, I want the fun moreso the commitment. If everything's meant to be, I believe I shouldn't have to worry, because if it's meant to be, it will happen.

Ian

notoriousQQ said:
Only you can answer that. If you can continue the relationship without getting emotionally attached, go ahead. If you do start experiencing greater and more intense emotion, what then? Try to talk to her about what you are feeling? Change her? Make things work? If you want to have fun, great. If you want to have a serious relationship, not asking for a commitment, but the opportunity to see what you have together, she should at least be willing to commit to that. IMO
Click to expand...
 
Honestly I think you?Lre analyzing things way too much here. I dont think I?Lve ever met a woman that knows 100% for sure what she wants. Dont let it worry you so much. If you want to be with this girl, fine. Just relax and let things happen naturally. Stop thinking so much. Let the answer to where you guys stand work itself out over time. You said it yourself, "if it is meant to be, it will happen." I say just relax and enjoy it for whatever it is while it last.
 
My thoughts exactly, well put!!!!

Time will tell.

Thank you!

Ian

OuttLaw said:
Honestly I think you?Lre analyzing things way too much here. I dont think I?Lve ever met a woman that knows 100% for sure what she wants. Dont let it worry you so much. If you want to be with this girl, fine. Just relax and let things happen naturally. Stop thinking so much. Let the answer to where you guys stand work itself out over time. You said it yourself, "if it is meant to be, it will happen." I say just relax and enjoy it for whatever it is while it last.
Click to expand...
 
Play it cool at first. Don't let too much show. Don't get emotionally attached. Have fun with her. Then, as time goes by, start getting attached, even though you shouldn't. Start caring about her, start loving her, start feeling the need to have her around. Then, try calling her every day. But, just once a day. Eventually, work up to 2-3 calls a day. At some point, you should start dropping by her place unannounced. Start doing this often. By this point, she should be a bit tired of your obssessive behavior. When she brings it up, get this crazy look on your face, and start yelling at her like an insane fucksponge. Then, immediately soften your expression, apologize, and go hold her gently. Do this 3-4 times. Realize, you can't breathe without her. Tell her this when she tells you (sobbing, on the phone) that she needs her space. Start stalking her. Put 100s of pictures of her up on your wall. Devote a shrine to her. Show up, naked, yelling on her front lawn, drunk and stoned out of your mind (here's where the Say Anything rap comes in, but do it up...make it psycho). Tell her you must have her, or you can both depart this world forever.

After she has a restraining order placed against you, contact me, and we can kick this LOVE up a notch in phase TWO.


piece,
rp:AUM
 
another words she doesnt care for you too much, but she wants you around(the more men the marier) she's a hoe. scratch her out of of your phone book
 
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