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thefantom1
New member
I can't go anywhere..... everywhere I go people just love to try and fuck with me.... I go out to a bar last night...and they have this "Pretty Boy" bouncer at the front door with a couple of fat just 21 year old girls all over him..anyway... I walk in and he's like "Wait a minute... I need to see an ID---BOY!!" And Im thinking "This is going to be a great night" Now this bouncer is about as intimidating as May1010......anyway..it obvious that I am over 21 (well over 21--oh..middle age) so Im like.."No problem" I show him my ID and he looks at it..then looks at me and says "There is no way this is you...your not even close to 210lbs...cuz I'm 180lbs and Im bulking right now" ... Dear Lord Im going to have to embarass this beanpole at his place of work in front of these 2 cows...So I calmy tell him... "Look...its me and yes I do weigh 210lbs... I just came in to have a beer or two and I know your just fucking with me just to try and impress these two chubby Orca's.." Well lets just say that did not go over well..with the bouncer or the 2 Big Willy's (who both easily weighed over 210lbs) So the Justin Timberlake/Brad Pitt bouncer tells me.. "Thats it you, you, you...well whatever.... Im going to fuck you up and throw you outta this bar" So Im thinking..this is gonna be good... So Hippo number 1 blurts out between chewing her cud of nacho's with cheese.. "He is going to hurt you...he knows-----KARATE!!!! BURP!!!!" As I recoil from the horrendous odor of Miss Goodyear's mouth.... String Bean procedes to go into some kind of Karate stance with this "High Intensity" look on his face...and proceeds to do some what he thinks is very fast punches in the air and waiving his arms around like some cheap Kung Fu movie...He then proceeds to walk towards me while his hands are wooshing through the air, stumbles a bit and smacks himself in the nose..pretty damn hard too.. a gush of blood explodes from his nose and lands in Carne Wilsons nachos... then all hell broke loose....Jumbo screams that her nachos are ruined...the bouncer falls to the ground and starts crying out "Oh no.. Im not the best looking guy anymore..." I just stood there wondering what the fuck was going on and then simply walked to the bartender and said "I'll have a beer, please".... "On the house my friend" with a big smile...
My eyes... lol
Funny story!
All good things too.
