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Use the top of your car to transport cargo and make sure everything is loosely tied, if tied at all.
Whenever possible, children should sit on your lap.
Whenever you see a police car, even parked, slam on the brakes and drive 15-20 MPH slower than the speed limit.
If you have a car phone, use it as much as possible and pay no attention to the road. If you have no one to call, hold the phone up to your ear and pretend.
Keep your brake light blinking by keeping one foot on the brake pedal at all times.
Always change the radio station, tape, or CD while you are in the middle of changing lanes.
Your car stereo should be blasting music at approximately 900,000 dB.
While listening to your favorite song, let other drivers on the road know that your listing to your favorite song. The best way to do this is, is to steer the car with your knee, hanging out the window like you are trying to look up your nose in the side mirror, While the whole time bobbing your head all over the place.
Adjust your car seat so that the drivers behind you only see the top of your head and a pair of knuckles on the steering wheel.
Use your driving time as an opportunity to have an argumentive encounter with your significant other.
Save money. Don't bother with insurance.
If you get pulled over by a law enforcement officer, try to talk your way out of the ticket. Even if you drive a "souped-up" red sports car with no muffler or seat belts, illegally tinted windows, bumper stickers that say "Legalize Marijuana" and a vanity license plate that says "F E L O N".
Never adjust your mirrors so you can see out them, adjust them so you can see your hair.
Drive with your seat far back enough, that a dentist can fill cavities while you travel.
Whenever possible, children should sit on your lap.
Whenever you see a police car, even parked, slam on the brakes and drive 15-20 MPH slower than the speed limit.
If you have a car phone, use it as much as possible and pay no attention to the road. If you have no one to call, hold the phone up to your ear and pretend.
Keep your brake light blinking by keeping one foot on the brake pedal at all times.
Always change the radio station, tape, or CD while you are in the middle of changing lanes.
Your car stereo should be blasting music at approximately 900,000 dB.
While listening to your favorite song, let other drivers on the road know that your listing to your favorite song. The best way to do this is, is to steer the car with your knee, hanging out the window like you are trying to look up your nose in the side mirror, While the whole time bobbing your head all over the place.
Adjust your car seat so that the drivers behind you only see the top of your head and a pair of knuckles on the steering wheel.
Use your driving time as an opportunity to have an argumentive encounter with your significant other.
Save money. Don't bother with insurance.
If you get pulled over by a law enforcement officer, try to talk your way out of the ticket. Even if you drive a "souped-up" red sports car with no muffler or seat belts, illegally tinted windows, bumper stickers that say "Legalize Marijuana" and a vanity license plate that says "F E L O N".
Never adjust your mirrors so you can see out them, adjust them so you can see your hair.
Drive with your seat far back enough, that a dentist can fill cavities while you travel.
I wantd to pass over him 
