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Fucking Goddamn Shit

Bullit

Bullit

Colon Cowboy
Platinum
Just got back from the gym & AGAIN somebody is PARKING IN MY GODDAMN STALL!!!!!!!!

Every fuckin week it happens, but its always someone different.
Every fuckin week I gotta write a note & put it on their car. The note works (I guess), but it doesnt matter cuz next week there is some other cuntfuck stealing my spot.

GODDAMNMOTHERFUCKINCUNTHAIRSHIT!!!!!!!!!
 
Lumberg said:
why don't you put up a sing in the actual spot

be proactive not reactive
Click to expand...

Thats exactly what I'm gonna do .

I was hoping that I wouldnt have to spend MY money to stop these shitass dumbfucks, but I guess I will have to.

I thnk the problem is that mine is the first spot so shitheads think "duuhhhhh... I'll just park here".
FUCK YOU DICKEYES!!!!!!!
 
slickdadd said:
Why are their spots, and why is your's reserved, and why do my farts stink so bad?
Click to expand...

I own a condo.
The spot is assigned to this unit.

Your farts smell from the rotting cum in your ass.
 
when I lived in an apartment I used to have to pay for my carport.....and nothing pissed me off more than coming home and seeing some asswipe who didn't even live in my apartment complex parked there.........usually I would just complain to the leasing manager, and it would get me 50 bucks off my rent (carport was 25) but one night I was chilling on my balcony having a pre going out drink.....and I see some assclown pull into my spot with his faggy m3......then I here my dumbass flight attendant neighbor come out of her apt. and tell her faggy boyfriend to move his car, because someone pays for that spot......to which he replies......I don't fucking care.....what the fuck are they gonna do about it.......which prompts me to step out from the shadow on my balcony....sans shirt......and say "they are probably gonna come down there take a dump on your hood.....then drag your lifeless corpse through their excrement" .......he quicly moved his car, but not without muttering something unintelligible......:mad:
 
pitbullstl said:
when I lived in an apartment I used to have to pay for my carport.....and nothing pissed me off more than coming home and seeing some asswipe who didn't even live in my apartment complex parked there.........usually I would just complain to the leasing manager, and it would get me 50 bucks off my rent (carport was 25) but one night I was chilling on my balcony having a pre going out drink.....and I see some assclown pull into my spot with his faggy m3......then I here my dumbass flight attendant neighbor come out of her apt. and tell her faggy boyfriend to move his car, because someone pays for that spot......to which he replies......I don't fucking care.....what the fuck are they gonna do about it.......which prompts me to step out from the shadow on my balcony....sans shirt......and say "they are probably gonna come down there take a dump on your hood.....then drag your lifeless corpse through their excrement" .......he quicly moved his car, but not without muttering something unintelligible......:mad:
Click to expand...


hehe....fuckin yuppy probably shit his pants
 
pitbullstl said:
when I lived in an apartment I used to have to pay for my carport.....and nothing pissed me off more than coming home and seeing some asswipe who didn't even live in my apartment complex parked there.........usually I would just complain to the leasing manager, and it would get me 50 bucks off my rent (carport was 25) but one night I was chilling on my balcony having a pre going out drink.....and I see some assclown pull into my spot with his faggy m3......then I here my dumbass flight attendant neighbor come out of her apt. and tell her faggy boyfriend to move his car, because someone pays for that spot......to which he replies......I don't fucking care.....what the fuck are they gonna do about it.......which prompts me to step out from the shadow on my balcony....sans shirt......and say "they are probably gonna come down there take a dump on your hood.....then drag your lifeless corpse through their excrement" .......he quicly moved his car, but not without muttering something unintelligible......:mad:
Click to expand...

:D

Subtle, but effective.
 
pitbullstl said:
"they are probably gonna come down there take a dump on your hood.....then drag your lifeless corpse through their excrement" .......he quicly moved his car, but not without muttering something unintelligible......:mad:
Click to expand...

Fuck that is perfect.

Unfortunately my condo faces the other way so I cant see my spot.

Last week I wrote a rather 'agressive' note.
The bitch lives in this building so she wrote a rather apologetic note back.. so I kinda felt bad about the tone of what I had written.
I was more restrained this time, but goddamnit its a fucking piss-off.
 
pitbullstl said:
and say "they are probably gonna come down there take a dump on your hood.....then drag your lifeless corpse through their excrement" .......he quicly moved his car, but not without muttering something unintelligible......:mad:
Click to expand...

lol
 
I had this twice in the past 3 months. I left a post-it note on their windshield each time saying, "Please do not park in my assigned spot. Thank you."

Give them fair warning, but if you see that same car in your spot again, tow that ass.
 
supersizeme said:
I had this twice in the past 3 months. I left a post-it note on their windshield each time saying, "Please do not park in my assigned spot. Thank you."

Give them fair warning, but if you see that same car in your spot again, tow that ass.
Click to expand...

LOL... pretty nice.

It happens all the time so I have been growing more & more impatient.
Last weeks note was:
"These parking spotst are FUCKING assigned
Do NOT FUCKING park here again"

Tonites:
"The parking spots are assigned and paid for.
Park here again and you will be towed."
 
Bullit said:


LOL... pretty nice.

It happens all the time so I have been growing more & more impatient.
Last weeks note was:
"These parking spotst are FUCKING assigned
Do NOT FUCKING park here again"

Tonites:
"The parking spots are assigned and paid for.
Park here again and you will be towed."
Click to expand...

lithium????? ................................j/k.....:D
 
pitbullstl said:


lithium????? ................................j/k.....:D
Click to expand...

Nah... just felt a bit guilty about the tone of that first note.

Decided that if I gotta live in the same building as these fucks I should tone it down a little.
 
Bullit said:


LOL... pretty nice.

It happens all the time so I have been growing more & more impatient.
Last weeks note was:
"These parking spotst are FUCKING assigned
Do NOT FUCKING park here again"

Tonites:
"The parking spots are assigned and paid for.
Park here again and you will be towed."
Click to expand...

That's right! Keep those mother f'ers guessing!! don't let 'em see you comin, boy-o!! and don't think it matters that different people are responsible each time. oh no, they're working together, those fuck-sacks. you rock, karma coming your way in the next 4-6 months.

also, cheese doodles.
 
jackangel said:


That's right! Keep those mother f'ers guessing!! don't let 'em see you comin, boy-o!! and don't think it matters that different people are responsible each time. oh no, they're working together, those fuck-sacks. you rock, karma coming your way in the next 4-6 months.

also, cheese doodles.
Click to expand...


Did you not read "Every fuckin week I gotta write a note & put it on their car. The note works (I guess), but it doesnt matter cuz next week there is some other cuntfuck stealing my spot."

So ... if you get robbed every week, but every time its someone different then you wouldn't, perhaps, get a little bit more pissed off every time it happend?

Shove it up your ass, fucknut.
 
Save the money on paper and just key your notes into their paint job.

Also, put up a permanent sign noting that it is an assigned spot that you pay for, and you can't be held responsible for any damage that occurs when they are towed at their own expense.

Then if a car still shows up there, just smash out the windows with a crowbar and scream out the ol' Big Lebowski favorite "THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!"

Also, setting fire to the car, of even just part of it, usually sends a pretty strong message.
This again, proving my previous points in other threads that all of life's problems can be solved with fire.
 
MarthaStewart said:
Save the money on paper and just key your notes into their paint job.

Also, put up a permanent sign noting that it is an assigned spot that you pay for, and you can't be held responsible for any damage that occurs when they are towed at their own expense.

Then if a car still shows up there, just smash out the windows with a crowbar and scream out the ol' Big Lebowski favorite "THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!"

Also, setting fire to the car, of even just part of it, usually sends a pretty strong message.
This again, proving my previous points in other threads that all of life's problems can be solved with fire.
Click to expand...

Cut an orange in half, and put both halves on the hood. Flat side down (I know, that should be obvious, but we're talking about Bullit here). Or bologna. I've heard bologna works too. You could spell out notes with that too.

Bear in mind, the crowbar thing only works if you call them "Larry".
 
If I had a piece of shit car, I'd park behind them so they could not get out!

People may start bitchin cuz your blocking traffic..But... This should get some attention to the problem!
 
Or hey it's your parking spot to do what you like with right? Like my mom used to have a spot and she used it to stor her stuff

so it would, like, totally suck if you decided to store soem stuff down there while a person was parked there.

Also complain to the manager/condo association/whatever.
 
Both bricks and cinderblocks are cheap.
If your condo has windows near the spot, then you are golden - just keep a pile of bricks near the window and when you see a car that is in the spot, toss out a brick at it.

Slashing tires, or cutting off the valves, or just letting the air out, is also nice.

Sugar and/or sand in the gas tank is much harder these days with the locking tank lids as well as the valves being up higher on the fuel... insertion thing. Brain, work, good.

I can also remember from the Anarchist Cookbook that thermite on a car engine is fun. Having never done it myself, I can only recommend not standing too close to that.

Greasy ass prints on the windows is a nice option too - could do that as a way to wipe your ass after you have a messy dump on their car.
If it is a convertible, nothing says "this is my spot" like taking a dump on the driver's seat - or you could just throw a milkshake in if you are constipated.

Basically, put up a sign saying they shouldn't park there and that their car is at risk. Maybe even add an extra sign that is more personal in tone that vandals are in the area and tend to get that spot - but then you have to park there as well, so you don't want to give anyone ideas.

fire fire fire.
 
Last edited:
Mental disorder is not considered a parking privledge, so I think you should share the hadicap spot with others.
 
I like Marthas sign idea. Also put "ASS MAGGOTS!!!" at the bottom of the sign. Make it out of Cardboard to convey your I'm a psychopath and will kill you attitude. A polaroid of your aviators and cowboy had stapled to the bottom would be a nice touch too.
 
alien amp pharm said:
Mental disorder is not considered a parking privledge, so I think you should share the handicap spot with others.
Click to expand...

Even though I have a crack in my ass- I'd never park in a handicap space...:)
 
You said it is different people parking in your spot and most likely
they are visitors that do not know there are assigned spaces.

If I was looking for a spot and saw no postings, I would also park there as probably you would too..

Post a Sign
Get one of those orange cones and leave it in the middle of the space when you leave and move it to the front when you park each day.

I would also be pissed if it was neighbors or people that knew better, but this sounds like a Need to Know item vs an Ass wipe one..
 
Last edited:
pitbullstl said:
when I lived in an apartment I used to have to pay for my carport.....and nothing pissed me off more than coming home and seeing some asswipe who didn't even live in my apartment complex parked there.........usually I would just complain to the leasing manager, and it would get me 50 bucks off my rent (carport was 25) but one night I was chilling on my balcony having a pre going out drink.....and I see some assclown pull into my spot with his faggy m3......then I here my dumbass flight attendant neighbor come out of her apt. and tell her faggy boyfriend to move his car, because someone pays for that spot......to which he replies......I don't fucking care.....what the fuck are they gonna do about it.......which prompts me to step out from the shadow on my balcony....sans shirt......and say "they are probably gonna come down there take a dump on your hood.....then drag your lifeless corpse through their excrement" .......he quicly moved his car, but not without muttering something unintelligible......:mad:
Click to expand...

lol, that's awesome.
 
Y_Lifter said:
I would also be pissed if it was neighbors or people that knew better, but this sounds like a Need to Know item vs an Ass wipe one..
Click to expand...

Well... last week was a fellow condo owner.

Fuckeyes from yesterday is still there.. so that means it was an overnighter, so I am going to assume that it is a fellow owner as well.

Motherfucking dumbfucks. THEY KNOW ITS GODDAMN ASSIGNED!!!

I would quite enjoy chucking a cinderblock through the window. However since they will be able to easily see who's parking spot it rightfully is they could retaliate too easily.
 
Bullit said:



I would quite enjoy chucking a cinderblock through the window. However since they will be able to easily see who's parking spot it rightfully is they could retaliate too easily.
Click to expand...

If you really had balls, you would occasionally throw a brick through your own car window just to let people you don't fuck around.

Keep them on their toes.
 
TheProject said:
Cover the windshield in vaseline...
Click to expand...

That's a good start - but I think what you really meant was that Bullit should strip down to his birthday suit and then smear the Vaseline all over his fat hairy body, then march right out to that car and roll all over it in a Fabulous Baker Boys gone wrong.

Then when the owner comes out, hit a relaxed pose, side down on the car, hand on the head, resting on the elbow.

At some point just around when the guy starts to talk, just run away into the night.
 
:lmao: :lmao:

Damn, Happ.....er.. I mean Martha is cracking me up on this thread.
 
pitbullstl said:
when I lived in an apartment I used to have to pay for my carport.....and nothing pissed me off more than coming home and seeing some asswipe who didn't even live in my apartment complex parked there.........usually I would just complain to the leasing manager, and it would get me 50 bucks off my rent (carport was 25) but one night I was chilling on my balcony having a pre going out drink.....and I see some assclown pull into my spot with his faggy m3......then I here my dumbass flight attendant neighbor come out of her apt. and tell her faggy boyfriend to move his car, because someone pays for that spot......to which he replies......I don't fucking care.....what the fuck are they gonna do about it.......which prompts me to step out from the shadow on my balcony....sans shirt......and say "they are probably gonna come down there take a dump on your hood.....then drag your lifeless corpse through their excrement" .......he quicly moved his car, but not without muttering something unintelligible......:mad:
Click to expand...

One of those little things that the people who ask, "What's so cool about being big?" have a hard time identifying with.

Fucking classic.
 
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