ok well once upon a time in a land far far away, i had a long term live in girlfriend, and everything was kind of nice...until it went to hell and my life went to the bottom faster and harder than the titanic. which life is prone to do. at the drop of a hat. at the very worst time. bitch.
anyway, being in the midst of some fairly severe depression, and with my usual reluctance to take any sort of drug (despite being a pharmacist and drugging people up everyday), i figured i was either going to kill myself, or i was going to get my life going again...and i fell back on my belief that the best place to repair a destroyed ego and fight off depression is in bed. (it works. im a conceited prick now, which is worth being just to piss people off
)
i wasnt about to get into a relationship again (nor will i) yet didnt want to drag some poor unsuspecting girl into the whirlpool of shit i called my life (being somewhat emotionally crippled, yet still a half decent person) i thought the best way was to be honest and upfront with them, and say that i was emotionally unavailable, but im good company, like being in good company, and had a bunch of girls with whom i sometimes spent time - that meaning, anything from coffee and a chat, to straight out sex.
in the beginning, i was lying. i DIDNT have a bunch of girls with whom to have coffee and sex. but i figured, well...she doesnt know that, and the thought that i do have all of these women will serve the purpose of making her think that i am a viable human being (when really, i was the grumpiest bastard in the world) and also, to keep her from thinking that i was in any way exclusive to her
anyway after a long time...about 4 weeks...amazing what you can do when youre motivated...i had 5 (nice looking, NO fatties) girls in a fbuddy relationship, which is kind of cool when you live in a town where the men severely outnumber the woman.
in the beginning its nice. new people, new bodies, new conversations etc...but since i was associating with so many women, and women being the bane of all men everywhere, it was bound to go to hell...and it did. one of the girls was quite young, and became attached. she thought it was disrespectful that i was seeing other women while i knew that she wanted me for more, DESPITE us having discussed the fuckbuddyness of our relationship. which is quite a shame, because she abruptly stopped talking to me. while the lack of talk was ok, the lack of that young, perky, willing model body sort of left a hole in my calendar.
one of the others turned out to be a complete psycho and screeched about me seeing other girls and feeling "inferior", so i did the mr nice guy routine and booted her to the kerb.
yet another turned out to ahve issues with guys not taking her seriously in relationships, and decided that my not calling her for a coffee and a happy ending for a whole 2 weeks was a great excuse to call me, dead drunk, and abuse me for being a bastard
are you seeing a pattern at all, DIVISION?
anyway one of them moved away (she was a tourist) which is good, because she could drink me under the table in about an hour, but also a shame...she was cool, and had one of those posh english accents
and because she was leaving, she knew that there was no future in it. it was a nice change
now im down to one active fb that doesnt piss me off and 2 warming up, with another handful on the horizon. i figure that being the person i am, im always going to have the problem of women falling for me a bit, and so fbuddy relationships have to be kept short, and preferably with women from overseas - because it doesnt matter what i do or say with my mouth, the girls still somehow manage to get attached and a bit miffed when im with other girls.
its also a bit hard to do with girls with lowish self esteem, because most girls arent used to being treated like that around here (around here if you get a girl, you hand her your balls in a jar by the 3rd date) and it changes their self image...im constantly hearing "i cant believe you treat me like this" and "i cant believe i still talk to you when youre out with other girls" etc and it makes me feel like a prick
anyway this is too long, im going to end it. its nice, and for me, neccessary, and the sex is sometimes really good, but is less...fulfilling...than love sex. i cant say im content, but ill admit that im amused by the men who give me death stares (lol), and i love the way i can go out, meet one of my "girlfriends" for a drink, yet halfway through the night, leave for somewhere else and pick up any girl i please, without feeling like an asshole. or at least, not much of one.
anyway, thats all youre getting out of me lol
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