friends first before dating

[fyxgel]

It seems to be that this is a scenario which is quite common today, where people prefer to getting to know someone well first, before they go out on dates with them.

Some people do this intentionally, other people say that this is just the way it ends up happening.

In either case it is something that I cannot understand. I dont know about anyone else. But I find that I can't get to know someone really well in a group setting, and that basically you have to call the person out and ask them to do something one on one with you, if you want to get to know them better (and i consider that the same as asking someone out on a date)

I suppose maybe there is a rare scenario where lets say you work with someone and you are aronud them all the time, so you get to know them. Or they were just the neighbor next door, or something like that. But it seems like those opportunities are so rare that it would be a long wait, and also your selection would be severly limited if you only dated people that you knew well beforehand (I also thought the point of dating was to get to know someone better, and that was why you dated)

I guess I hear people that say, "well I've noticed that it always happens that I'm real good friends with my guys or my girls first, before I date them"

And I'm wondering why this is so. Does dating just jynx the situation? Does dating just not work, and that is why some didnt meet/get-to-know their girlfriend/boyfriend through dating?

Or is it that people are just too afraid to ask other people out on dates? So the only people they get to know are those that they can get to know without stepping out on a limb (you get to know them in a way without having to hangout with them one on one)

 

[Barak]

I don't know ended up dating the girl who was my best friend for years didn't workout and almost ruined that wonderful friendship, but we got it back on track again.So I won't do that again friendships are to precious to risk I'll stick to picking up and dating.

 

[casualbb]

Or is it that people are just too afraid to ask other people out on dates? So the only people they get to know are those that they can get to know without stepping out on a limb (you get to know them in a way without having to hangout with them one on one)

That's the one, buddy. People are afraid of risk.

 

[Gambino]

aren't you in college? You said some shit about dorms, you got mad opportunity to have relations with young co-eds. What's the problem? Just strike up conversation when the chance presents itself...ie class, parties, etc...much opporrtunity, don't blow it.

 

[hardrock]

Only been friends with one girl before I dated her. The rest were all basically strangers.

 

[fyxgel]

maybe its more so that girls say that they have been friends with their guys more often than not, before they were dating them.

I just recall hearing this in some of the dating threads on here recently, so I figured it would be worthwhile to inquire.

It'd be good a hear a woman's response on this.

 

[sconoscuito]

the best and longest relationships I've had were with the girls I became friends with even though they usually knew I wanted a piece of them and I knew they wanted me too... sometimes I blew it though and the girl was already taken by the time I figured things were goin well

just few months ago I decided that the whole dating thing doesnt really make any sense, well I'm just not good for it yet, maybe once im done with college


so if I want a girlfriend I'm gonna find her through friendship cause if she can be my friend she can definetly be my girl too

if I just want to get some than I guess dates, parties and clubs will have to do the trick

 

[-SD-]

Stop thinking so much and just fuck.

 

[juve]

friends first before dating

Ok, without reading the rest of your chef d'oeuvre here's a hint: friends don't go out on dates - either or; don't befriend women, get some male friends, women should be kept to their respective roles (ie hoop-la and skip or stay if you looking for relationship)

 

[fyxgel]

I think I got it all figured out.

If you are friends with the girl first, and you kinda sneak your way into her life, (instead of just going up to her after you barely know her and asking her if she wants to do something) then you have a better chance of getting with that girl, particularly if she is hot and you are not.

If you want to get with a girl, using a more forward method, (assuming u are chasing a hot girl), I think you need to either be more attractive, or you could always lower the standards and go after a less attractive girl.

So yea, i guess what I'm trying to say is... the less forward approach, (usually meaning u are using more "foot-in-the-door" techniques) is good for situation where you are going after a girl that is hotter than you.

But I dont think you need to play it sly if you are already on the same level as the girl. Because she will want to be asked out on a date, just as badly as you want to ask her out on a date.

 

[Robert Jan]

If she wants a friend, let her get a dog